Scenes - Scene Setting, An Outing

31 January 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, An Outing

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya.  Here is a complete scene setting.  The time is "Thursday."  The place is the front door of Aksinya's house.  The characters are Ernst, Aksinya, Natalya, the driver, the Sister, and the novice sisters.  The purpose of the time and place is this is the date of Ernst's invitation.  One item of note is the carriage and the other is the bouquet.

On Thursday, a landau carriage drove up to the front door of Aksinya’s house.  The convertible roof was up and the side flaps were tied tightly shut against the cold.  The two dark horses blew out great puffs of frosty breath when the driver brought them to a halt.  The driver jumped to the street and opened the flap on the house side.  Ernst von Taaffe stepped out the landau and walked to the door.  He held a small bouquet of flowers in one hand.  He knocked on the carved cedar door himself. 

Sister Margarethe opened the door to him, “Good evening.”

Ernst pushed past her into the house.  He pulled off his top hat, “Good evening, Sister.”  He glanced at her for only a moment, “I’m here to pick up that wonderful Lady, the Countess of Golitsyna.”  He juggled the top hat and the small bouquet for a moment then handed her his card, “Will you please tell her that Ernst von Taaffe is here to attend her.”

Sister Margarethe took the card then her hand stole to her cheek, “You are here to pick up the Countess?”

“Yes, I am expected.  I have an appointment.”  He smiled.

Sister Margarethe backed toward the end of the room.  As an afterthought, she called back to Ernst, “Please make yourself… comfortable.  I shall return presently.”

Aksinya and Natalya almost ran into Sister Margarethe on the stairs.  Sister Margarethe pressed her lips together, “A man is here.”  She could barely get out the words.  Then her eyes finally focused on Aksinya and Sister Margarethe let out a tiny squeak, “You were expecting him?”

“Of course,” Aksinya pushed past the Sister. 

Natalya paused a moment beside Sister Margarethe.  She smiled and nodded then she continued after her mistress.

Aksinya stepped into the parlor, and Ernst dropped both his hat and the flowers.  Aksinya wore a dark blue dress made entirely of satin.  The fabric shown brilliantly.  Each twinkle of the gaslights reflected in it and blazed.  It was an older noble cut, but certainly not out of style for visiting a tsar.  The bodice was covered with brocade—a blue on blue whose design was so intricate, Ernst’s eyes could not discern its entirety in the dim light of the room.  Aksinya’s long gloves were white with accents of blue lace, and a mist of lace floated upward from the bodice to cover her shoulders.  That was also matched by the lace of the small veiled cap that covered her short hair.

Ernst could only beam when he saw her.  He recovered the flowers and dropped to his left knee, “Countess, you are ravishing.”  He held out the bouquet, “Please accept this small gift.”

Aksinya took the flowers.  She knew it was no small gift.  In the middle of winter such a bouquet of fresh flowers was very dear.  It was made of a single red rose surrounded by lilacs and edelweiss.  She brought them close to her nose.  They smelled very pleasant.  She smiled behind the bouquet, “Aren’t you being a little presumptive in presenting me with a red rose?”

“Not at all, you accepted it, didn’t you?”

“So I did, Herr von Taaffe.”

Ernst stood and put out his arm, “If you please, Countess.  My landau awaits you.”

Sister Margarethe loudly cleared her throat behind them. 

Aksinya half turned, “Ernst von Taaffe, I am pleased to introduce Sister Margarethe.  She looks after the Lady Natalya and me.”

Ernst turned his head only a fraction of an inch, “Will she accompany us?”

Aksinya shook her head, “Not on this occasion.  And I can’t forget my best friend and confidant, the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska.  She will accompany me.”  Aksinya didn’t turn this time, “Sister Margarethe, the Lady Natalya and I will be going out for the evening with Herr von Taaffe.  We will return after the ballet.  Please bring our cloaks.”

Sister Margarethe curtsied, “I am very pleased to meet you Herr Taaffe.  Do not keep my charges out too late.  They must both attend chapel and early classes.”  She exited the room for a moment and returned with the cloaks. 

When Sister Margarethe approached Aksinya, Natalya stopped her, “That is the wrong cloak for the Countess.  Please bring the mink one.”

Sister Margarethe pressed her lips together, but she went back for the heavy mink cloak.  When Sister Margarethe returned, Natalya took the cloak from her and placed it over Aksinya’s shoulders.  She took a deep breath, smiled, and tied the cloak at Aksinya’s neck. 

Sister Margarethe placed Natalya’s black woolen cloak over her shoulders.  Natalya stepped toward Aksinya before the nun could fasten the cloak.  She buried her face in the fabric and slowly tied it at her neck herself.

Aksinya eyed Ernst’s proffered arm dubiously.  Then she placed two gloved fingers on his forearm.  Ernst covered her fingers and forced her hand against his arm.  He smiled at her, “I wouldn’t want you to stumble.”  He led her to the door.  Sister Margarethe just had time to get to the portal and open it so he and Aksinya could exit into the freezing evening.  Natalya nodded as she passed the nun, but she didn’t say a word, and she turned her head away from the sister to hide her smile.

This is a scene about the unexpected.  Sister Margarethe didn't expect Ernst to come calling.  Aksinya didn't expect Ernst to be so debonaire.  Natalya didn't expect that she would act so well as the lady-in-waiting to a Countess.  Note how she treats the Sister.  This little scene introduces Ernst as a lover and gentleman.  It shows Natalya in her prime.  It shows Aksinya as a Countess.

My notes: once you have a theme, you need to begin to visualize your plot, focus your theme, and define your characters. More tomorrow. I'll move on to basic writing exercises and creativity in the near future.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, http://www.aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, Letters and Temptation

30 January 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, Letters and Temptation

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya.  Here is simple scene setting.  Note the beginning: "in the morning."  They "walked to Sacré Coeur."  The characters are defined.  The items that are necessary are defined.  The focus of this scene is "the letter."  There are some very important points about this "letter."  Note that it was "delivered to the door." 
 

In the morning, Aksinya and Natalya walked to Sacré Coeur with Sister Margarethe in tow.  They attended chapel and classes.  When they returned that evening, one of the novice sisters brought Aksinya a sealed envelope.  She curtsied as she handed it to her, “Countess, this afternoon a letter was delivered to the door.”

Aksinya took the envelope and went up to her rooms.  Natalya and Sister Margarethe followed her.
Natalya blocked Sister Margarethe at the door, “Please prepare tea for us, Sister.”
Sister Margarethe didn’t move for a moment, she appeared as though she was not going to leave then she bobbed her head, “Yes, Lady Natalya.”
Aksinya stood under the gaslight near the fireplace with a preoccupied expression on her face.
Natalya shut the door, “I can’t read German well yet, but that seems to be from your young man.”
Aksinya didn’t turn toward her, “It is from Ernst von Taaffe and addressed to me.”
“Read it.”
Aksinya just stood with the envelope.  She turned it over in her hands.
Natalya grasped it from her, “Mistress, you must read it.”
Aksinya’s face was distraught, “If it from him, what will I do?”
Natalya squinted at the return address, “It is certainly from him.  You must see what his invitation is then you can decide.”
“I am afraid.”
“Afraid?  You have never shown fear of anything before.”
“I am afraid of this temptation.”
Natalya cleanly opened the seal and removed the letter inside.  She glanced at it, “It is in German.  I can’t read it to you, so you must.  Or would you rather have Sister Margarethe read Ernst von Taaffe’s letter for you.”
Aksinya sighed and took the proffered letter.  She shook it open it and read it out loud.  “It says:
Ernst Franz von Taaffe
Stal Straße
Wien, Austria

15 December 1918
Dearest Lady Golitsyna
You enchanted me from the first moment I heard your name spoken.  I was honored to come to your help when you were in need.  Thank you for hearing me out at your honorable uncle and aunt’s party.  As I discussed with you then, I would like to make your further acquaintance this week.  Would you please save time for me this Thursday evening?  I would be delighted to escort you to dinner and to the ballet.  I will come for you at six.  I can assure you, I will be a pleasant companion.  I would be pleased if you would not concern yourself about your possession.  I will keep it safe for you.  If it is the only reason you will take time for me, then that is reason enough.  I will send my servant tomorrow to receive your answer.
                                                                                Sincerely,
                                                                                Ernst Franz von Taaffe, heir to Graf von Taaffe

Aksinya sighed again, “What am I to answer?”
Natalya touched Aksinya’s hand, “You shall pen a response tonight.  In it you will tell Herr Taaffe that you will gladly receive him.  I shall chaperone you, of course.”
“But, I’m not sure I want to receive him.”
“What could it hurt you?  And, you will secure the return of your book.”
“What if I am tempted by this young man?”
Natalya laughed, “That is the point, Countess.  Just because you are tempted does not mean you will act on it.”
Aksinya trembled, “You don’t understand me at all, Nata.”
“Perhaps I do understand you better than you imagine.  I shall be there with you.  I will not let you be compromised—this I promise you.”  Natalya, took Aksinya by the shoulders and pushed her to the desk in her sitting room.  She pressed Aksinya into the chair and placed a quill pen into her hand, “Now, write a response to him in German and read it back to me.  If you try to get out of this, I shall tell Sister Margarethe.”
“You wouldn’t.”
Natalya’s resolve crumbled, “I will never betray your trust, Countess, but I insist you accept this nobleman’s attentions.  His approach is honorable and acceptable.”
“Honorable and acceptable,” Aksinya mumbled.  “But why me?  Why should he be infatuated with me?”
“Who understands the ways of love in a man’s heart?”
“If it is simply temptation?”
“Temptation?”
“I cannot tempt any man.  I am small and ugly.  My hair is short.  My bosom is like a girl’s.  What could he want from me—that is other than sorcery.”
“Isn’t that enough?”
Aksinya didn’t respond.  She began to pen a response.  It was pleasant, but not too pleasant.  She was happy that Natalya could not read German, and she certainly didn’t read it back verbatim to her lady-in-waiting.

Natalya doesn't realize it, but this scene is all about temptation.  The theme is temptation; the plot is about a letter, and Aksinya's response.  The readers may not fully realize the point of this scene.  It is an entertaining scene none-the-less.  It is based in tension and release.  The tension is what Aksinya will do about the letter.  The release is when she finally reads and pens a response.  There is humor and interesting interaction with Natalya in the scene.  Natalya is changing.  Those who have read the novel, know there is a lot of foreshadowing in the text.  We know Natalya does betray Aksinya (for her own good).  We know Ernst will tempt Aksinya.  He is a temptation sent by the demon.

My notes: once you have a theme, you need to begin to visualize your plot, focus your theme, and define your characters. More tomorrow. I'll move on to basic writing exercises and creativity in the near future.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, http://www.aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, even more Conversation about Magic

29 January 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, even more Conversation about Magic

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. This is the continuation of the previous scene.  The place and time setting have already been given.  The characters are set.  In this scene, we get the continuation of Aksinya and Natalya's conversation.  Specifically, Natalya complains that Aksinya is not teaching her about sorcery.  The importance of this is that the demon used this to tempt Natalya and is using it to tempt Aksinya.  Aksinya has been holding out for the reasons she gives in the conversation below.
 

Sister Margarethe closed the door.

Natalya waited a moment, “When will you teach me sorcery?”

Aksinya stared at her, “Nata, I don’t ever intend to teach it to you.  It does me no good and only causes me to suffer.  If you only knew…”

“I do not know.  I only see the good you do.  I don’t understand why you won’t do this for me.”

Aksinya let out a breath and glanced down, “I have already begun to teach you Latin, but I do not intend to teach you sorcery.”

“Why Latin?  What is the purpose of it?”

Aksinya mumbled again, “It is the words.”

“I’m sorry Aksinya.  I couldn’t understand you.”

“I said, it is the words.  Sorcery can be accomplished in Latin or Greek.  Latin is more common.  The words and the sounds are critical.  They must be said precisely.  If they are spoken incorrectly, at best, the enchantment will not work, at the worst, it will injure you.  The first step is to learn the language of sorcery.”

“Why Latin or Greek?”

“Although I have heard that sorcery has been successful in other languages, I have no evidence of it.  The documents of the church were first in Greek and next in Latin.  Those have been the languages of sorcery since then.”

“What of Hebrew?”

“There is a possibility of sorcery in Hebrew, but I don’t know the language, and I have never seen any books.  The books are necessary.”

“Why necessary?  You have made enchantments without your books.”

“If a single piece of the enchantment is wrong or incorrectly done, it won’t succeed.  The books give explicit directions to make it work.  If you forget, or if you make a mistake, your life or your health can be forfeit.”

“But you do it so easily.”

Aksinya took Natalya’s hands, “Listen closely to me, Nata.  I spent nearly every free moment of my childhood studying sorcery.  I had no friends.  I had no one, so I read the books.  I collected the items.  I practiced everything over and over until I perfected it.  When I began, I quickly discovered the danger.  My fingers were covered with wounds.  I have scars on my body from every failed enchantment.”

Natalya’s voice was low, “I have scars on my body and nothing to show for it.”

“I am happy to have you for my friend.  I will do anything to keep that including teaching you sorcery, but I suspect I will not be able to let you ever do it.  I will be too afraid to allow you to harm yourself.”

Nata stood, “It is late, Aksinya.  Let me prepare you for bed.”

Natalya took Aksinya’s arms and lifted her up from the chair.  Aksinya passively stood and Natalya began to remove her clothing.

Strangely, the demon didn’t visit Aksinya this night either.
 

This scene is about magic and how it works.  I don't tell you about magic and how it works--I allow my characters to tell you about magic and how it works.  Within the body of the conversation, we also get information about Natalya and Aksinya.  This is the point of the conversation and this is how you convey cryptic topics without telling.  Remember: show and don't tell.

My notes: once you have a theme, you need to begin to visualize your plot, focus your theme, and define your characters. More tomorrow. I'll move on to basic writing exercises and creativity in the near future.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, http://www.aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, more Conversation

28 January 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, more Conversation

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya.  This is the continuation of the previous scene.  The place is already set in the dining room, but that is properly set again and the place they go--Aksinya's house.  The time is a simple continuation from the previous scene.  There is also a touch of time setting in the scene.  There is very strong place setting and character setting.  Note the descriptions of the people and the house.  The point is to create a feeling of homeyness.  In this environment, the author (and Aksinya) will approach a problem with Natalya.

Natalya and Aksinya returned to their house across the street.  When they left the dining room, Sister Margarethe joined them at the door.  Aksinya didn’t acknowledge the nun, but Natalya gave her a greeting in German. 

They went across the street and Natalya unlocked the door.  The house was warm—much warmer than the school or dormitory.  A coal fire burned in the fireplace.  Two novice nuns, dressed in black and white, came to the foyer to greet them.  They removed Aksinya, Natalya, and Sister Margarethe’s cloaks and saw them up to their rooms.  They made sure the coal fires and the gaslights were lit, then curtsied and returned to the lower floor.  At her door, Aksinya took Natalya’s arm, “Sister Margarethe, would you please bring us tea?”

“Yes, Countess.”

Aksinya glanced at the nun then pulled Natalya into her room and closed the door.  Aksinya placed Natalya in front of an overstuffed chair in the sitting room.  She moved hurriedly to the other chair before Natalya could move and pulled it close.  She sat quickly knowing Natalya would only sit after her.  Natalya sat almost as quickly and leaned expectantly toward Aksinya.  Aksinya sucked on her lower lip, “Nata, I do apologize that you were not the first to know about Ernst von Taaffe.”

Natalya smiled, “I realize you did not purposefully keep the information from me.”

Aksinya held the sides of her head, “I was in no condition last night to explain anything to anyone.”

“Tell me about him.”  Natalya reached out her hands. 

Aksinya grasped them, “He was an interesting man.”  Her brow creased, “And he has my book.”

Natalya’s eyes widened, “He has your book.”  Natalya sat up a little, “Does he…does he…?”

“Yes, he knows it all.  He was the one who tried to help at the Golden Adler.”

“Then he was the gentleman who carried you back to the house?”

“The same.”

“Did he see you…you know, did he see you…?”

“He saw me make the great enchantment.”

Natalya hung her head, “I didn’t get to see it—I wish I had.”

“Hush, don’t say such things.  It always embarrasses me.  It is not something I am proud of.”

“I am proud of you, Countess…Aksinya.”

Aksinya glanced down, “No one else would be.”

“What about this young man?”

Aksinya made a face, “He praised me for it.”

Natalya tried to hide her smile, “Then, like me, he would be proud of you too.”

“He did, but I don’t want that.  He wants to court me.  He said he was infatuated with me.”

“For a man to appreciate you for who and what you are seems a very great thing to me.  Will you allow him to court you?”

“He won’t give me back my book until I do.”

Natalya laughed, “Then you will only allow him to court you because he has your book?”

Aksinya glanced down, “He promised me another book too.”

Natalya was incredulous, “The only reason you will court him is for a couple of books?”

Aksinya turned her a foul look.

“Aksinya, what about the man.  He said he is infatuated with you.  He likes you for who you are.  What does a moldy book have to do with anything?”

“You are cruel, Nata.  Why would I want a man?  What would I do with him?  I can do something with a book.”

“A book of sorcery.  The thing you seem to hate the most.”

“I do hate it.”

“But you are so wonderful at it.”

“It is a wasted skill.”

“But you are so skilled at it.  In any case, this young man likes you.  He is the son of an aristocrat.  You need to determine if he will become the Graf.  If so he will be equal to you in rank and therefore a balanced union.”

“What if I don’t seek any union?”

Natalya’s mouth opened and closed, finally she squeaked out, “Of course you want a union.  You must find a man to marry—a man who is close to your rank.  That will bring honor to your family and to the nobility.”

Aksinya shook her head, “Nata, my family is dead.  In Russia, the nobility will soon be dead.  You heard Fraulein Vogt this evening, the Austrian Parliament intends to outlaw the aristocracy in Austria.  There is no purpose in making a good match anymore.”

“But, Aksinya, there is still a purpose in marrying a good man.”

Aksinya mumbled, “He isn’t a good man.  He is a man who desires sorcery.”

“Then he is just like you.  What is wrong with that?  I desire sorcery.  You…you…”

“Say it Nata.  Go ahead.  I know what you are going to say.”

“Very well, Aksinya.  Though I desire it, you will not properly teach me.”

A knock came from the door.  Aksinya jumped.  Natalya turned toward the sound, “You may enter, sister.”

Sister Margarethe opened the door and brought in the tea service.  Natalya pointed to the tea table.  Sister Margarethe placed it on the top.  Natalya pointed again, “Sister, you may pour.”

Sister Margarethe poured the tea.

Aksinya sat quietly in her chair.

Natalya picked up her cup, “Thank you, Sister Margarethe, we have everything we need.  I’ll put the Countess to bed.”

Sister Margarethe curtsied and stepped back to the door.

Natalya called at her back, “I’ll prepare the Countess for school tomorrow.  If you could please see to our breakfast?”

“Yes, Lady, I shall tell the novice sisters.”

“Thank you.”

Sister Margarethe closed the door.
 

This scene and setting is how an author sets up a scene to accommodate the conversation and topic of the scene itself.  When you plan out a scene, the purpose is to get across the plot, topic, and theme.  Therefore, in this scene, we set up domestic tranquility so Aksinya and Natalya can converse quietly and about very important subjects.  The subject is Aksinya's temptation--sorcery.  The point is made simply.  She wants the books, but she hates what they allow her to do--sorcery.  Natalya wants to learn sorcery.  Ernst wants sorcery too, but he also wants Aksinya.  The point of the conversation is to bring out these points.  The domestic tranquility of the scene is punctuated by Aksinya's degradation of the Sister.  Aksinya is very subtle about it, but you can't miss it even if you don't understand Victorian era mores. 

My notes: once you have a theme, you need to begin to visualize your plot, focus your theme, and define your characters. More tomorrow. I'll move on to basic writing exercises and creativity in the near future.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, http://www.aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, Bad Example

27 January 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, Bad Example

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya.  Here is the beginning of the next chapter with the scene setting.  I should rewrite this beginning to make the scene setting more clear.  I'll offer it up as a lesser example and show you how I would improve it.

Aksinya woke with a terrible headache.  She had waited up late with the hope that Asmodeus would make an appearance.  She wanted to ask him many questions, but the demon didn’t interrupt her that evening.  That, in itself worried her more than anything.

She and Natalya attended a late Mass with the Freiherr and Freifrau Bockmann.  Aksinya was ill, but hid it well until the end.  Natalya rushed her out of the nave just in time.

Because of the work at Grossbock to clean up the house following the Advent party, Aksinya and Natalya returned to Sacré Coeur early before dinner.

As usual, during dinner, Aksinya sat next to Natalya.  Aksinya had barely spoken a word since the party.  One of the young women, Frieda Trauen, across the table, finally plucked up enough courage to ask, “How was your Aunt and Uncle’s party last night.  It is always the event of the season.”

Natalya smiled brightly.

Aksinya shrugged her shoulders and slouched a centimeter lower.

“Did you dance?” the girl continued.

Aksinya sighed, “There was dancing, but no one asked me.”

Fraulein Trauen face displayed amazement.  She turned toward Natalya, “Surely someone asked you to dance, Lady Natalya.”

Natalya smiled and raised her shoulders, “They were mostly older men and married.”

“The young ones come later in the evening.  I heard the toast of the town were there.  Don’t tell me that the Countess scared them off.”

Aksinya smiled a little smile, “They did seem afraid to approach me.  That is, except one.”

All the faces at the table turned toward her.  The question they didn’t speak was evident in their features.  Finally, Fraulein Trauen asked breathlessly for them all, “Who was it?”

“Ernst von Taaffe.  Do you know the name?”

“Who doesn’t in Wien?  His father is the Graf von Taaffe.  That would be a good match for you.”  She looked down, then back to Aksinya, “And he didn’t ask you to dance?”

“He said it was too late, and I had drunk too much wine anyway.  What do you know of him?”

All the young ladies sat up straight.  Fraulein Trauen sat the straightest, “Too much wine.  You should be more careful.  You don’t want to let the young men slip through your fingers and neither do you wish to get within their grasp.”

All the ladies nodded almost as one.

Aksinya’s voice dripped with sarcasm, “I quite understand your meaning.  So I ask you again, a little more clearly, what is the reputation of this Ernst von Taaffe.”

Diedre Vogt pressed her lips together, “I have not heard anything untoward about him, but he is considered a little mysterious.”

Fraulein Trauen pronounced, “He is studious and serious.”

Anna Pfaff cried out, “I’ve seen him many times at the ballet and the symphony.”

Fraulein Trauen sniffed, “The ballet does him no good, but the symphony means his intentions may be pure.”

Aksinya laughed, “Are any man’s intentions pure?”

Fraulein Trauen blushed, “Certainly there are men of honor and standing who would not compromise themselves or others.”

Aksinya sat back in her chair, “So you think he is an honorable man?”

Fraulein Pfaff giggled, “I haven’t heard anything untoward about him either.  He isn’t known to be a gambler or a womanizer.”

Aksinya laughed, “Then his only bad trait is he likes to attend the ballet.”

Fraulein Trauen rolled her eyes, “It isn’t that he likes to attend the ballet.  It is what he casts his gaze upon at the ballet.”

Aksinya smiled more broadly, “So if he asks me to the ballet, should I watch his eyes to see where they are gazing?”

Fraulein Trauen colored again, “I believe you are making fun of me.”

“I’m sorry.  I am not.  I simply want to gain the measure of the man.”

Fraulein Pfaff was breathless, “Do you think he will ask you to the ballet?”

“He said as much.”

Natalya bit her lip, “Mistress, this is the first time I have heard of this man.”

Aksinya put her hand on Natalya’s.  She looked straight into her eyes, “I’m sorry, Lady Natalya.  I didn’t mean to keep this a secret from you.  My meeting with Herr von Taaffe occurred so suddenly Saturday night, and I was in no shape to converse that evening.”

Fraulein Trauen lifted her chin, “Because you had drunk so much.”

Aksinya turned her head toward the lady, “Because I had too much wine to drink.”

Fraulein Trauen slitted her eyes, “A young woman should always be careful and decorous.”

Lady Natalya had been following the conversation in German fairly well, “My mistress was both careful and decorous.  I just had to help her up the stairs to bed.”

Fraulein Pfaff puffed out her cheeks, “You should be more careful than that.  It is as Fraulein Trauen says, Ernst von Taaffe would be a good match for you.”

Fraulein Vogt put up her chin, “Such connections are meaningless now.  My father told me, during the next session, the new Austrian Parliament intends to ban the aristocracy.”

The ladies across the table nodded sagely.  Aksinya sunk a little lower in her seat.  Natalya looked puzzled.
Fraulein Trauen smiled slyly, “Then there is no reason you should be careful or decorous, and then little reason for Ernst von Taaffe to not entertain us also.”

Aksinya scowled, “I understand your meaning there too.  You mean I would not be able to attract Ernst von Taaffe except that I am a countess.”

Fraulein Trauen bit her lip.  She looked down her nose at Aksinya, “It is usually not polite…”

“…to say what is unspoken, but true.”  Aksinya finished for her.

Fraulein Trauen rose up an inch from her seat.  She slowly sat back down and let out her breath.

Aksinya didn’t move an inch, “That serves you well, Fraulein Trauen.  Self control is a very important trait in a young woman.”

Fraulein Trauen sniffed.

Aksinya gave a small smile, “It is a trait that I do not possess in the least.”  She turned to Natalya, “Lady Natalya are you ready to retire for the evening?”

Fraulein Trauen’s lips were tight, “Retreat, you mean.”

“I concede the field to you, Fraulein Trauen.  I cannot hold it with my virtue or my beauty.”  She stood.
 

This scene continues from the last.  The problem is that since it is a new chapter, I should have set the place and the time better.  I assumed the reader would use the place and time from the previous scene and chapter as the starting point for this scene.  This is a bad assumption on my part.  When I make another edit of the novel, I shall make the place and the time clearer.  This will also help with the transition in the next scene. 

There is much in this little tete-tete.  The main point is that Aksinya is wonderfully fielding the artless questions of her table mates.  She really wants to know about the gentleman who was not all that gentlemanly toward her the previous evening.  This shows the power of conversation in showing.

My notes: once you have a theme, you need to begin to visualize your plot, focus your theme, and define your characters. More tomorrow. I'll move on to basic writing exercises and creativity in the near future.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, http://www.aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, Major Character Intro

26 January 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, Major Character Intro

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. This is a transition and conversation scene with the introduction of a new major character.  This character was shown, but not really introduced about 3 times in the previous scenes.  This is a great method to bring in an important character.  You allude to the character and slowly bring in information about him and then you introduce him. 

After a while, Aksinya glanced at Natalya, “Lady Natalya, please get me another glass of wine.”

“Would you like something to eat?”
“No, just wine.  The very sweet wine Uncle opened just for me.  Ask him to open another bottle… or two.”
Natalya smiled then frowned and hurried off.
Almost immediately a young man moved from the ballroom floor and stepped directly up to Aksinya.  He dropped to his left knee and bowed his head.  He was dressed in finery.  Not as fine as the clothing Aksinya wore, but very formal and slightly out of fashion.  Aksinya’s Uncle would have approved.  His frockcoat was charcoal and his pants were cream colored.  His shirt was also cream and everything was pressed to perfection.   
Aksinya straightened her back.  She couldn’t see anything of his face only the top of his blond head.  She wondered if, with such a display, he mocked her.  The young man didn’t stand.  He lifted his face to hers and reached for her hand.  Aksinya was too slow to keep him from taking it.  His face was gentle and pleasant.  It matched his voice which was almost melodic.  Aksinya might have described it as like a snake in a more pointed moment, but it was sweet and calm.  His eyes were blue and met hers without apology.  He glanced at her hand and then at her face again and smiled, “You are truly the one, Countess.”
Aksinya took a deep breath, “The one…?”
His smile broadened, “I have met you twice, but we have not been introduced.  Please don’t think me forward if I introduce myself.  I am Ernst Franz von Taaffe.  My father is the Graf von Taaffe.  So, you see, we are of nearly equal rank.”
Aksinya tried to pull her hand from his, “Why should that matter to me?”
“Because, first, I am infatuated with you.  I warn you, I will do anything to have you.  Second, I know exactly what you are…”
Aksinya pursed her lips and yanked her hand back.  The man would not let it go.  “Where did you meet me?”  She hissed.
“Outside the Golden Adler Gasthaus.”
Aksinya’s free hand stole to her face, “You were one of the rapists?”
The furrows in Ernst’s smooth brow deepened, “Dear Countess, surely you don’t count me with that sort.  Search your memories.  You stared directly at me.  You spoke to me.  I carried your sweet body back into your house and placed you in your bed.  Your blood ruined one of my good suits, but I purposely haven’t thrown it out.”
Aksinya’s eyes widened, “You were that man.”
Ernst’s lips drooped, “Yes, that man…”
Aksinya’s eyes filled with fear.  She tried again to pull her hand from his grasp, “Why were you there?  What did you see?”
Ernst grinned, “I was there because your courtier, Anatov Aznabaev told me you would be there.”
Aksinya shook her head, “Wait, Anatov Aznabaev.”  She whispered a sentence of Latin words under her breath, “Say that name again.”
Ernst repeated, “Anatov Aznabaev.”
And clearly to Aksinya’s ears came, “Asmodeus.”  She puffed out her cheeks, “Scheize.”
“Countess!  I was led to believe you were a completely refined woman.”
“I don’t care.”  She stared at the man, “What do you know?”
“That you are a most wondrous sorceress.  I saw everything.  You made a great enchantment without any protection.  Such power, unbelievable power…”  He noted the look on Aksinya’s face, “Don’t worry, Countess.  Your secret is safe with me, but only if you do as I wish.”
“Who would believe you?”
He brought his face close to hers, “I have your book.”
Aksinya gasped and trembled, “You must give it back.”
“No, no, no, Countess. That is not how the game is played.”
“What do you want from me?”
“Anatov Aznabaev, told me you were a special person.  He told me I would find everything I desired with you.  He is right.  I myself have tried for years to study sorcery.  I have been, as yet, unsuccessful.”
“Your body doesn’t seem unduly marked.”
“The scars are well hidden by my clothing.  It has not touched my face or hands much.”  He pulled her hand toward his face and turned it over.  He gently stroked the many scars that marked Aksinya’s fingers, “A successful sorcerer, so says my books, has a multitude of knife scars on their hands.  They are from the constant use of blood as a sacrifice.”  He turned his face toward hers again, “The smell of the use is strong on you now.  You can’t hide it from me.  Although, I can’t accomplish any of it, I know its smell.  I know its feel.  I know its marks.”  He kissed the scars on her fingers.
Aksinya finally was able to pull her hand from his, “I asked you what you want?”
“I would like to learn from you, but first I must win your affection.”
“What makes you believe it can be won?”
“You courtier, Anatov Aznabaev told me that you long to find love and someone to share your life.  I offer myself.  You are exactly the woman I wish to love.”
“My courtier is mistaken.  I do not need love or anything else…”
“But you need your book.”
“I have memorized it already.”
“Zut!  I know you still desire that book.”
Aksinya raised her chin, “How would you know that?”
“Anatov Aznabaev told me.”
Aksinya snarled, “Anatov Aznabaev, Anatov Aznabaev… do you believe everything my servant tells you?”
“In this case, yes.  But I have another temptation.”
Aksinya stared at him.  An angry scowl set her features.
He didn’t seem to notice Aksinya’s very dangerous appearance, “I have another book that your courtier told me you would desire.  It is one you have not seen before.”
Aksinya trembled, “Which book is it?”
“It is the book of Heka…”
“That is ancient Egyptian.  It isn’t effective.”
“The Heka I have is Greek.  It isn’t death sorcery of the Egyptians but the practice of light.  I know you are interested.”
Aksinya took a breath, “If it is a Greek Heka…”
“It is a Greek Heka.”
“What about my book.  You stole it.”
“Those are strong words, Countess.  You dropped it in the street. I picked it up for you.  Who’s to say who such a book belongs to?”
“It is mine, and you know it.”
“I also know that you are a marvelous sorceress, and I wish to entertain you.”
“I will not accommodate any lewd behavior.”
“Lewd behavior?  Countess, you mistake my intention.  I wish to woo you.  I do not wish to seduce you.”
“How can I trust your intentions?”
“I have your book,” he laughed.
“And you blackmail me with it?”
“I only want to take you to dine and to a play, the ballet, or to a concert.  Surely that is not lewd.”
“I will bring my lady-in-waiting as a chaperone.”
“You may bring your guardian nun as well.”
Aksinya sat back, “Pardon me then.  I did not understand your intentions.”
“My intentions are pure, but I would like to know much, much more about this enchanting sorceress who came to Wien.  The moment your courtier described you, I had to meet you.”
Aksinya stared suspiciously at him, “Just where did you meet my courtier?”
A puzzled look crossed Ernst von Taaffe’s features, “I don’t entirely remember, Countess, but wherever and whenever it was, I am thankful for it because that meeting led me to you.”
“You don’t think me plain, diminutive, and unwomanly.”
Ernest von Taaffe bowed his head, “On the contrary, I find you mysterious, powerful, and exciting.”  He glanced up, “I will contact you at your house.  Please make an evening open for me next week.”
Aksinya sighed, “I will entertain you when you visit.  Please return my book.”
Ernst rose, “Not until you attend a dinner and an evening event with me.  Then I will discuss the return of your book.  It is late or I would ask you to dance.  Countess,” he bowed deeply and wandered back to the ballroom floor.
Aksinya slumped in her seat.  When Natalya finally returned, Aksinya drank the whole glass of wine and sent Natalya back for more.

This is a very important converstation and introduction.  You have already met this gentleman--if you have been following this blog or have read the book, Aksinya.  I discussed this as an important point during a couple of blog entries.  Like I mentioned, this is a great means to introduce a character.  You foreshadow the introduction,  by showing the character within the earlier parts of the novel.  Place him in exactly places where your readers can't miss them--then you bring them into the plot with an introduction.  Look back and you will see the enhanced description of Ernst.  There is also more detailed description through the entire narrative within the conversation.  We find out a lot of information through the conversation.
 

My notes: once you have a theme, you need to begin to visualize your plot, focus your theme, and define your characters. More tomorrow. I'll move on to basic writing exercises and creativity in the near future.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, http://www.aseasonofhonor.