Scenes - Scene Setting, The Book of Tobit

30 April 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, The Book of Tobit

Announcement: My novels Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness are about to be published. I write this blog about 2 months prior to its publication. I just heard that the proofs will be here soon--likely before the end of the week. My publisher also wants to put the entire set of novels based on Aegypt on contract--that's 5 more novels for 8 total. They also want to put my other novels on contract. The release schedule should be one novel every 2 months. I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are many approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

Dobrushin has determined a way to free Aksinya from her contract with the demon.  This is something Akinsya has been seeking from the beginning of the novel. 

“Thank you, Father, but I should be thanking you over and over.  You believed me when no one else would.”

“I believed in you because of who you are.”  He paused a moment then stated, “I think I have determined a means to break your contract with the demon.”

A look of hope filled Aksinya’s face, “What should I do?”

“Do you remember the book of Tobit, from the Apocrypha?”

She nodded.

“This same demon pestered Sarah daughter of Raguel, and killed the seven men who had been affianced to her before they could consummate the marriage with her.”

Aksinya leaned her head in her upraised hands, “Tobit was helped by an angel, the angel Raphael.  There is no angel to help me.”

“When Tobias, the son of Tobit, and Sarah were in their bridal chamber, Raphael was not present.”

“I remember, Tobias took parts of a fish and burned it on the incense.  The smell caused the demon to stay away and it was bound by Raphael in Upper Egypt—I think.  But who would bind the demon for me?”
 

I've mentioned more than once that Aksinya is an allegory based on The Book of Tobit.  There is more to this than meets the eye.  The demon is the demon from Tobit.  The circumstances mirror to an extent Tobit.  The solution to Aksinya's problem is reflected in Tobit.  This was shown to the reader from the very beginning of the novel.  I don't expect most readers to be conversant with Tobit, but if a reader looked up the demon in the novel, the first think they would find is Tobit.  If the reader read Tobit or read about The Book of Tobit, they would find that the hero of the book, Tobias, rid Sarah of this demon.  The method... tomorrow.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.
 

For more information, you can visit my author sitewww.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, Shopping and Dinner

29 April 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, Shopping and Dinner

Announcement: My novels Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness are about to be published. I write this blog about 2 months prior to its publication. I just heard that the proofs will be here soon--likely before the end of the week. My publisher also wants to put the entire set of novels based on Aegypt on contract--that's 5 more novels for 8 total. They also want to put my other novels on contract. The release schedule should be one novel every 2 months. I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are many approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

Aksinya takes Dobrushin's advice and smiles while he answers questions.  The change in Aksinya is noteworthy, but has been happening for a long time.  She has never before intentionally depended on another person--at least in this novel.

They made it past the reporters and Aksinya only had to answer some simple questions.  She was certain she was smiling every time a flashbulb went off.  The worst question was what she would do now.  Father Dobrushin answered for her.  She thought he said something like she would spend time in quiet contemplation and study, but she was too busy holding to his arm while trying to smile for the cameras.

Once they were free of the reporters, Father Dobrushin hailed them a carriage and took her to a woman’s emporium where she could bathe and have her hair styled.  The attendants fitted a new dress to her.  It was very beautiful but not too extravagant.  It was made of white wool with a lining of silk and very warm.  She received two other dresses, a long coat, and a leather pair of shoes.  The coat was wool.  Father Dobrushin packed her extra clothing in a small case and they took another carriage to a restaurant that was not far from the Rathaus.

The maître d’ led them to a quiet table at the side.  Father Dobrushin ordered for them both.  He poured Aksinya a glass of wine from the bottle he ordered—only one glass.  She had to nurse it through the entire meal.  The quality of the wine wasn’t that good.  It was thin and sour.  The food wasn’t very plentiful or fine.  Still, Aksinya ate everything with pleasure.  It was much better than the food she had in the jail.  Father Dobrushin didn’t say much until the Spartan meat course.  Then he added an ounce to the remaining amount in her glass and lifted his, “To you Princess and our victory in court.”
 

Dobrushin buys Aksinya clothing and takes her to dinner.  The clothing he purchases is fine, but not aristocratic.  He takes her to dinner.  The food is more common fair than Aksinya has been used to.  She was used to the highest levels of society in after war Austria--this level of the middle class is much different.  This is the best Dobrushin can provide.

 

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

For more information, you can visit my author sitewww.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, Custody

28 April 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, Custody

Announcement: My novels Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness are about to be published. I write this blog about 2 months prior to its publication. I just heard that the proofs will be here soon--likely before the end of the week. My publisher also wants to put the entire set of novels based on Aegypt on contract--that's 5 more novels for 8 total. They also want to put my other novels on contract. The release schedule should be one novel every 2 months. I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are many approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

Aksinya was placed into the custody of Dobrushin.  In the modern mind, this doesn't sound like such a bad thing--although to some, this might sound quaint.  To a person of the time, this is enormous.  Dobrushin took responsibility for Aksinya in every way.  He is responsible for her debts and her life.  How many people do you think Dobrushin did this for?  How many people were legally placed into his custody?  I likely should have discussed this in more detail in the conversation in the text, but I didn't think it was important enough.  The point is that Dobrushin has taken Aksinya completely into his responsibility and this is a big deal.

Aksinya stood and the rest of the court stood.  Aksinya put out her hand, but by the time she could get out a single word, the judges were gone.  She stuttered, “Wait…”

Father Dobrushin asked, “What did you want, Princess?”

“He gave me into your custody—why?”

“I asked for it in the court papers.”

“But why?”

“Because, I want to be the one to help you from now on.  It is official.  You report to me in all issues of your employment, schooling, and living arrangements.”

Natalya hugged Aksinya, “I have to go, Princess, Herr von Taaffe is waiting for me.”

Aksinya took her hand, “I pray this is not the last time I shall see you.”

“If it is the last or not, I will never forget you, Princess.  Go with all the blessings of the earth.”  She moved quickly to where Ernst von Taaffe stood at the side of the room.  He made a slight bow toward Aksinya, but he didn’t smile.

“And all the blessings of the heavens,” Father Dobrushin continued for her.  “Come, Princess, the day is not over and we have work that must be finished before tomorrow.”  He placed his long coat over her shoulders and started for the door.

Aksinya rushed to catch up to him, “What must we do before tomorrow?”

“We will speak about it at dinner.  First, we must negotiate the reporters.  They will take your picture.”

“I look terrible.”

“You won’t look any better if you don’t smile.  I suggest that you hold your shoulders very straight, act like the princess you are, and smile at every opportunity.”

“Yes…yes, I shall.”

“Then come on.”

Aksinya took his arm.  Before they left the Rathaus, Sergeant Nagel brought Aksinya’s blankets and the Greek Bible to them.  Father Dobrushin put them under his arm and carried them for Aksinya.


The parting with Ernst is especially to note.  In any novel, don't show everything.  There is no real resolution to their relationship or their time together.  I didn't mean for there to be.  In real life, there is not always and many times never any resolution to relationships and times together.  The most powerful resolution is death and death never brings resolution to relationships or time.  Death simply cuts it off--thus, I cut off Aksinya and Ernst's relationship.  It is cut with a bow--that's all that is necessary...at this point.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

For more information, you can visit my author sitewww.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, Asylum

27 April 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, Asylum

Announcement: My novels Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness are about to be published. I write this blog about 2 months prior to its publication. I just heard that the proofs will be here soon--likely before the end of the week. My publisher also wants to put the entire set of novels based on Aegypt on contract--that's 5 more novels for 8 total. They also want to put my other novels on contract. The release schedule should be one novel every 2 months. I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are many approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

I led you to it and even told you before that Aksinya's immigration status would come into play.  This is why Dobrushin's experience as a lawyer was so important in the first place.  The situation is solved in a moment.  This is another means of using tension and release.  The reader imagines that Aksinya's problems are over, then, bang, there is another hiccup that could affect her life and freedom.  Aksinya thinks she will hear about her guilt, but the reader knows that is just her strange way of thinking.  The real situation is her status as a Russian citizen.

The judge continued to speak.

Aksinya almost clapped her hands together, “Now he will tell me the truth about my guilt.”

Father Dobrushin shushed her.

Judge Richter stated, “Although, this Schöffengericht finds the Princess Aksinya not guilty, the State of Austria has received international letters concerning the Princess.  Both of them request her return to Russia, one for political reasons and the other as extradition for criminal prosecution.  The State of Austria has asked me to make a recommendation and a judgment based on the case at hand.  Since this is not directly related to the charges, only to any potential sentencing, there is no reason for the prosecution to respond.  Defense councilor would you like to make a statement in regard to these requests?”

Father Dobrushin stood, “Yes, Your Honor.  I have reviewed both letters as well as the laws of the State of Austria as it applies to this circumstance.  It is not in the Princess’ best interest to entertain either request from either Russian claim to authority.  She desires to continue as an émigré in Austria and be allowed self-determination in all related issues.  If the court will not grant her this freedom then she is willing to petition the State of Austria for asylum.”

Judge Richter wrote on the paper in front of him, “There will be no need for that, council.  I am granted the authority to reject either or both requests as a recommendation of this court.  It was only in the case of a guilty verdict that the Princess would be extradited to Russia without her consent.  Therefore, by the authority of the State of Austria granted to me, I declare again that you are not guilty of any crime tried in this court and that you are immediately released to the custody of Father Dobrushin Sergeevich Lopuhin.
 

The tension is that Aksinya will not go free and will be convicted of something, the release is when Dobrushin argues on her behalf and the judge recognizes that Aksinya could only be remanded to Russia if she were convicted of a crime.  There was no need for Aksinya to apply for asylum.  I didn't discuss asylum in any detail, but you can see the judge didn't want her to apply for it.  There are reasons for this, but I'll not get into the legal details.  Primarily, I want Aksinya and Dobrushin to be able to go to a certain place at the end of the novel.  An asylum request would mess up this possibility.  I should discuss it, but this isn't the time in the novel--don't show everything.
 

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

For more information, you can visit my author sitewww.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, the Verdict

26 April 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, the Verdict

Announcement: My novels Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness are about to be published. I write this blog about 2 months prior to its publication. I just heard that the proofs will be here soon--likely before the end of the week. My publisher also wants to put the entire set of novels based on Aegypt on contract--that's 5 more novels for 8 total. They also want to put my other novels on contract. The release schedule should be one novel every 2 months. I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

Now we get the verdict of the trial.  As I noted, yesterday, this is not what Aksinya expected.  She knows she is guilty, but somehow, her guilt has been swept away.  If you note rightly, this is part of the allegory of this novel.  It is a part of the theme.  For the reader, it is enough to note the result of the trial--the result is logical and reasonable.  The result is wholly unexpected.  The demon will not be pleased--Aksinya was supposed to go to prison and to the work house.

The doors behind the large desk opened and the judges stepped to their seats.  The Bailiff stuck his staff against the ground, “Hear ye, hear ye, this Schöffengericht shall pronounce judgment in the name of Emperor Charles the first of Austria and the Republic of German Austria.  May the justice of the Lord God Almighty reign in all the affairs of men.”

Judge Richter didn’t sit.  He shuffled his papers for a moment, “Princess Aksinya Georgovna Holstein-Gottorp-Romanov also known as the Countess Golitsyna, the unanimous verdict of this Schöffengericht is that you are not guilty of any of the charges brought against you in this court.”

Aksinya stared at the Judges.  She turned her head toward Father Dobrushin.  Natalya beamed.  Aksinya asked, “What does it mean?  What is he saying?  Am I not guilty?”

Father Dobrushin whispered, “You are not guilty.”

“But I am guilty of something and especially certain sins.”

“That’s not what this court was to determine.”

Aksinya obviously didn’t understand.

Natalya took Aksinya’s hand, “That is wonderful, Princess.  You shall go free.”

Aksinya swallowed against a lump, “I shall never be free, but I am happy not to go to prison.”

Do you see Aksinya's logic is correct--she shall never be free, but she might not go to prison.  There is still one other point to adjudicate.  We shall see where that goes, tomorrow.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

For more information, you can visit my author sitewww.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, a Kept Woman

25 April 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, a Kept Woman

Announcement: My novels Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness are about to be published. I write this blog about 2 months prior to its publication. I just heard that the proofs will be here soon--likely before the end of the week. My publisher also wants to put the entire set of novels based on Aegypt on contract--that's 5 more novels for 8 total. They also want to put my other novels on contract. The release schedule should be one novel every 2 months. I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

Judge Richter wishes to confer.  The result of the trial is not so odd, but it requires some adjudication and thought.  The original charge of theft was handled adroitly by Dobrushin.  He paid Aksinya's debts and took care of the charge of breaking a contract.  Natalya took care of the other charge of assault.  By taking away the charges, Aksinya is now absolved of this charge.  Notice, that in no case is she not guilty.  She is guilty of both the charge of theft (in her name) and of assault (she really did assault Natalya--Natalya just remanded the charges).  Aksinya is still guilty, but she has been granted a pardon.  The judge may judge her not guilty of the original charges, but that is the way of a court of man and not a court of God.  This is the theme-point after all.  The theme in this sense is that Aksinya has been pardoned and forgiven for her actions.  Someone else was willing, in both cases, to pay Aksinya's debts--Dobrushin with his money and Natalya with her body and forgiveness.  Natalya and Dobrushin were willing to give up more than this for Aksinya.  Natalya gave her virtue for Aksinya, and Dobrushin... we shall see.

Prosecutor Trauen stood and tapped his glasses against his hand, “Your Honor, without any remaining charges, there is no reason to continue this trial.”

“I agree, however, in good order, I wish to confer with the other judges before we pronounce our judgment.  There is another issue in relation to this person that must also be decided.”

Father Dobrushin stood, “Your Honor, I beg you not to make any decision that might affect the freedom of the Princess without conferring first with me.”

Judge Richter nodded.  He stood and led the other judges back through their respective doors.

Natalya moved over to Akisnya’s table and Father Dobrushin gave her his seat.  Aksinya kissed her cheeks again and held her close, “Lady Natalya, I am so sorry for the suffering I caused you.  I do beg your pardon.”

“And, I you,” Natalya laughed, “Tears.  When did you ever shed tears for any reason Princess?  I am afraid that beyond this moment, we will not be able to see one another again.”

“Why is that?”

“You have no household and likely will have none, and I am kept by Herr von Taaffe.”

“And you wish to be with him?”

“I would rather be with you, but Father Dobrushin has recommended against it.”

“Does Herr von Taaffe treat you poorly?”

“No, just the opposite.  He treats me too well.  Almost as well as he treated you before.”

“I see.”

“Are you jealous?”

“I should be, but I am not.  I never loved Herr von Taaffe.  I loved the things he could provide me.  I suspect you never get drunk when you go out with Herr von Taaffe.”

“No, why?”

Aksinya smiled, “What does Herr von Taaffe plan to do since his father has rejected him?”

“He has business ventures of his own.  It is not as great as his family’s, but they are substantial.  He wishes to move away from Wien and pursue this work.”

Aksinya sighed, “So long as you are pleased and taken care of.”

Natalya laughed, “I have never been taken care of in my life.  I care for others, that is what I am called to do.  That is also what pleases me.”

We kind of guessed what had happened to Natalya, now we know.  Natalya is being kept by Ernst.  In the speak of the times, she is living with him.  This in itself is worthy of a story, but this is also an example of "don't show everything."  Natalya has some kind of relationship with Ernst.  Aksinya did not love Ernst--she simply was doing the will of the demon.  As Aksinya gains some separation from the demon, she is able to exert control over herself and her condition.  She is able to separate her emotions with logic.  Thus, her answer to Natalya about jealous.  She is not jealous because she never loved Ernst. 

There is also the other question at hand--the judges are conferring on it.  Can you determine what it is--I left crumbs and even told you earlier.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.
For more information, you can visit my author sitewww.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, Natalya

24 April 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, Natalya

Announcement: My novels Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness are about to be published. I write this blog about 2 months prior to publication. I just heard that the proofs will be here soon--likely before the end of the week. My publisher also wants to put the entire set of novels based on Aegypt on contract--that's 5 more novels for 8 total. They also want to put my other novels on contract. The release schedule should be one novel every 2 months. I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

The scene is set.  The characters (actors) are in place.  Now is the time to finalize this release.  Notice the use of showing to let the reader know how Judge Richter feels.  I don't tell you he is touched by the greeting of Aksinya and Natalya--I simply show you he puts down his handkerchief, he instructs the other judges, and tries to put on a stern look.  You know he was touched.

Sergeant Nagel led Natalya to the witness chair. 

Judge Richter put down his handkerchief, “Judges, please don’t let any of the previous conversation or actions cloud your judgment.  I only allowed it because it seemed an appropriate greeting between friends.”  He tried to put on a stern look, “Lady Natalya, please announce your full name to the court.”

Natalya’s voice was soft but clear, “I am the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska.”

“What is your relationship to the Princess Aksinya.”

Natalya put her hands together, “The Count…Princess I mean, rescued me.  No one else in the world would help me, but she did.”

“Rescued you?”

“I was a handmaiden to a noble family in Minsk.  They treated me like a slave.  The Princess rescued me from there and offered me the position of her lady-in-waiting.  She gave me clothing and jewelry.  She cared for me and sent me to school.  She called me her friend and confidant.”

“Can you describe the events of the evening when the Princess beat you?”

“It was the evening that the Princess was supposed to deliver her answer to Herr von Taaffe.”

“Her answer to what?”

“To his proposal of marriage.  Ernst von Taaffe offered to marry her and his father the Graf von Taaffe encouraged the match.  I knew her answer before she gave it.”

“Did she tell you what she would answer the young man?”

“No, Ernst von Taaffe is an honorable man, but he had two very important books that belonged to the Princess.  She wanted them back.  I knew that no matter what happened, her desire for the books would cloud her thinking.”

“What does this have to do with the Princess beating you?”

“This is the reason she beat me.”

“What was the reason?”

Aksinya stood.  Natalya stood.  Half the courtroom stood.  Aksinya pointed her finger, “Lady Natalya, I forbid you to tell them why I beat you.”

Father Dobrushin pulled Aksinya back into her seat, “The press has already published the reason in the papers.  She announced it during the ecclesiastical trial.  There is no reason for you to stop her testimony.”

Aksinya held her head in her hands, “She shouldn’t have to say it again.”

Natalya sat back down, “The reason the Princess beat me was because I seduced the man she wished to marry.  I seduced Herr von Taaffe.  Because of that, the Princess rightly became enraged.  I deserved to be beaten by her.  I deserved every stroke.  I did not wish to proffer charges against her.  The ecclesiastical court presented them in my name.  I wish for this court to absolve the Princess of every charge related to this.  I know she asked my pardon, and I know from my priest that she has confessed.  I wish to absolutely forgive her and pardon her for this sin against me, because I was the cause of it.  I only wish she could forgive my sin against her.”

Judge Richter pressed his palms against the top of the desk, “Are you certain of what you say Lady Natalya?”

Natalya nodded vigorously.

Aksinya spoke almost automatically, “Lady Natalya, you must speak your response aloud.”

Natalya turned and smiled at Aksinya, “I do mean everything I have said.  I did not bring any charges against her.  I committed a more grave crime than she.  I admit this freely.”

Judge Richter turned to Prosecutor Trauen, “Prosecutor, there are no other charges against the Princess.  Do you have anything else you wish to propose or anything you wish to ask this witness?”

Prosecutor Trauen stood and tapped his glasses against his hand, “Your Honor, without any remaining charges, there is no reason to continue this trial.”

The tension in this scene is the aftermath of the meeting of Aksinya and Natalya.  What kind of testimony could we expect from Natalya?  I think the astute reader will see immediately, Natalya will always respond within the defined bounds of her personality.  In any novel, only one character should change--the main character of the novel.  Aksinya has changed and is changing.  Natalya is not the main character--she will not change.  Her personality is such that she loves Aksinya to the point that she would go to Hell for her.  She does not see anything wrong with Aksinya.  The response in the trial is exactly what we should expect from her.  The release is hearing the words from her mouth and the Judge's pronouncement.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot. For more information, you can visit my author sitewww.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, another New Scene

23 April 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, another New Scene

Announcement: My novels Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness are about to be published. I write this blog about 2 months prior to publication. I just heard that the proofs will be here soon--likely before the end of the week. My publisher also wants to put the entire set of novels based on Aegypt on contract--that's 5 more novels for 8 total. They also want to put my other novels on contract. The release schedule should be one novel every 2 months. I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

The opening of a new scene.  This is following lunch.  The time is specified and the place.  The place has been described already--there is no need to describe it again.  The entry of the characters is important.  We get the customary introduction of the court.  This is important to repeat to set the scene and the reader's feel of the situation and circumstances.

Just before one o’clock, Sergeant Nagel escorted them back to the courtroom.  They returned to their seats and waited for the rest of the court to gather.

Directly at one, behind the large desk, two judges came through the door at the right and two judges through the door at the left.  The bailiff of the court struck his staff against the floor, “Hear ye, hear ye, this Schöffengericht is reconvened in the name of Emperor Charles the first of Austria and the Republic of German Austria.  I present again The Honorable Gustav Richter, The Honorable Artur Kuester, Lay Judge Albert Vogler, and Lay Judge Oscar Amsel.  May the justice of the Lord God Almighty reign in all the affairs of men.” 

Judge Richter started up immediately, “The focus of this afternoon are the charges of assault and battery against Princess Aksinya.  The first witness whom I wish to call is the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska.  Sergeant Nagel.”

In a couple of minutes, Natalya followed Sergeant Nagel into the courtroom.  She walked with excellent posture, but one of her shoulders drooped a little lower than the other.

Aksinya gave a little cry when she saw Natalya.  Natalya’s eyes lit up.  She ran to Aksinya and curtsied to the floor.  Aksinya took Natalya’s hand and lifted her up.  She stood and embraced Natalya.  Aksinya kissed Natalya’s cheeks.  They were wet with tears.

Judge Richter cleared his throat a couple of times.  He rolled his eyes.  Finally he said something, “Herr Lopuhin, this is highly irregular.”  He paused, “But…yes, I understand.”  He sighed and slumped back into his seat.

Natalya cried, “They wouldn’t let me see you.  I begged and begged, but they said you were in jail.”

Aksinya laughed, “I was in jail.  I will likely go to prison.  I love you so much, and I am so sorry.  I missed you.”

“And I you, mistress.  I wish to join your household again.”

Aksinya looked down, “I have none.”

Father Dobrushin took Aksinya by the arm, “Princess, that is enough.  The Lady Natalya must testify.”

“Yes, you must testify and ensure you tell the truth, Lady Natalya.”

Natalya nodded and presented a very worried look on her face.

Sergeant Nagel led Natalya to the witness chair. 

The focus of this scene is Natalya as well as Aksinya's response to Natalya.  The pathos of the scene is obvious.  The judges response reflects this.  There is obviously the results of Aksinya's violence against Natalya--did you catch it?  I don't tell you anything--I show you that Natalya walks with excellent posture but that one of her shoulders is lower than the other.  She has been injured permanently.  Aksinya may or may not realize this--that is immaterial.  The point is the pathos in the description and the situation.  The characters may not realize what has happened or what is going on.  The description was not for the characters--the description was for the readers. 

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot. For more information, you can visit my author sitewww.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.