16 September 2024, Writing - part xxx809 My Novels, Initial Scenes, Athelstan Cying
Announcement: I
still need a new publisher. However, I’ve taken the step to republish my
previously published novels. I’m starting with Centurion, and
we’ll see from there. Since previously published novels have little
chance of publication in the market (unless they are huge best sellers), I
might as well get those older novels back out. I’m going through Amazon
Publishing, and I’ll pass the information on to you.
Introduction: I wrote the
novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel
and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that
included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other
general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the
metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the
way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire
novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.
I’m using this novel as
an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel
published. I’ll keep you informed along the way.
Today’s Blog: To see the steps in
the publication process, visit my writing websites http://www.sisteroflight.com/.
The four plus two basic
rules I employ when writing:
1. Don’t confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don’t show (or tell) everything.
4a. Show what can be
seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted on the stage of the novel.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.
6. The initial scene is the most important scene.
These are the steps I use to write a novel
including the five discrete parts of a novel:
1. Design the initial scene
2. Develop a theme statement
(initial setting, protagonist, protagonist’s helper or antagonist, action
statement)
a. Research as required
b. Develop the initial
setting
c. Develop the characters
d. Identify the telic flaw
(internal and external)
3. Write the initial scene
(identify the output: implied setting, implied characters, implied action
movement)
4. Write the next scene(s)
to the climax (rising action)
5. Write the climax scene
6. Write the falling action
scene(s)
7. Write the dénouement
scene
I finished writing my 31st novel,
working title, Cassandra, potential title Cassandra:
Enchantment and the Warriors. The theme statement is: Deirdre and
Sorcha are redirected to French finishing school where they discover difficult
mysteries, people, and events.
I finished writing my 34th novel
(actually my 32nd completed novel), Seoirse,
potential title Seoirse: Enchantment and the Assignment. The
theme statement is: Seoirse is assigned to be Rose’s protector and helper at
Monmouth while Rose deals with five goddesses and schoolwork; unfortunately,
Seoirse has fallen in love with Rose.
Here is the cover
proposal for the third edition of Centurion:
|
Cover Proposal |
The most important scene
in any novel is the initial scene, but eventually, you have to move to the
rising action. I am continuing to write on my 30th novel,
working title Red Sonja. I finished my 29th novel,
working title Detective. I finished writing number 31,
working title Cassandra: Enchantment and the Warrior. I just
finished my 32nd novel and 33rd novel: Rose:
Enchantment and the Flower, and Seoirse: Enchantment and the
Assignment.
How to begin a novel. Number one thought,
we need an entertaining idea. I usually encapsulate such an idea with a
theme statement. Since I’m writing a new novel, we need a new theme
statement. Here is an initial cut.
For novel 30: Red Sonja, a Soviet spy,
infiltrates the X-plane programs at Edwards AFB as a test pilot’s
administrative clerk, learns about freedom, and is redeemed.
For Novel 32: Shiggy Tash finds a lost girl
in the isolated Scottish safe house her organization gives her for her latest
assignment: Rose Craigie has nothing, is alone, and needs someone or something
to rescue and acknowledge her as a human being.
For novel 33, Book girl:
Siobhàn Shaw is Morven McLean’s savior—they are both attending Kilgraston
School in Scotland when Morven loses everything, her wealth, position, and
friends, and Siobhàn Shaw is the only one left to befriend and help her
discover the one thing that might save Morven’s family and existence.
For novel 34: Seoirse is assigned to
be Rose’s protector and helper at Monmouth while Rose deals with five goddesses
and schoolwork; unfortunately, Seoirse has fallen in love with Rose.
For novel 35: Eoghan, a Scottish National
Park Authority Ranger, while handing a supernatural problem in Loch Lomond and
The Trossachs National Park discovers the crypt of Aine and accidentally
releases her into the world; Eoghan wants more from the world and Aine desires
a new life and perhaps love.
Here
is the scene development outline:
1.
Scene input (comes from the previous scene output or is an initial scene)
2.
Write the scene setting (place, time, stuff, and characters)
3.
Imagine the output, creative elements, plot, telic flaw resolution (climax) and
develop the tension and release.
4.
Write the scene using the output and creative elements to build the tension.
5.
Write the release
6.
Write the kicker
Today: Let me tell you a little about writing. Writing
isn’t so much a hobby, a career, or a pastime. Writing is a habit and an
obsession. We who love to write love to write.
If
you love to write, the problem is gaining the skills to write well. We
want to write well enough to have others enjoy our writing. This is
important. No one writes just for themselves the idea is absolutely
irrational and silly. I can prove why.
In
the first place, the purpose of writing is communication—that’s the only
purpose. Writing is the abstract communication of the mind through
symbols. As time goes by, we as writers gain more and better tools and
our readers gain more and better appreciation for those tools and skills—even
if they have no idea what they are.
We
are in the modern era. In this time, the action and dialog style along
with the push of technology forced novels into the form of third person, past
tense, action and dialog style, implying the future. This is the modern
style of the novel. I also showed how the end of literature created the
reflected worldview. We have three possible worldviews for a novel: the
real, the reflected, and the created. I choose to work in the reflected
worldview.
Why
don’t we go back to the basics and just writing a novel? I can tell you
what I do, and show you how I go about putting a novel together. We can
start with developing an idea then move into the details of the writing.
Ideas. We need ideas. Ideas allow us
to figure out the protagonist and the telic flaw. Ideas don’t come fully
armed from the mind of Zeus. We need to cultivate ideas.
1. Read novels.
2. Fill your mind with good
stuff—basically the stuff you want to write about.
3. Figure out what will
build ideas in your mind and what will kill ideas in your mind.
4. Study.
5. Teach.
6. Make the catharsis.
7. Write.
The development of ideas is based on study and
research, but it is also based on creativity. Creativity is the
extrapolation of older ideas to form new ones or to present old ideas in a new
form. It is a reflection of something new created with ties to the
history, science, and logic (the intellect). Creativity requires
consuming, thinking, and producing.
If we have filled our mind with all kinds of
information and ideas, we are ready to become creative. Creativity means
the extrapolation of older ideas to form new ones or to present old ideas in a
new form. Literally, we are seeing the world in a new way, or actually,
we are seeing some part of the world in a new way.
The beginning of creativity is study and
effort. We can use this to extrapolate to creativity. In addition,
we need to look at recording ideas and working with ideas.
With that said, where should we go? Should
I delve into ideas and creativity again, or should we just move into the novel
again? Should I develop a new protagonist, which, we know, will result in
a new novel. I’ve got an idea, but it went stale. Let’s look at the
outline for a novel again:
1. The initial scene
2. The rising action scenes
3. The climax scene
4. The falling action
scene(s)
5. The dénouement scene(s)
The initial scene is the most important scene and
part of any novel. To get to the initial scene, you don’t need a plot,
you need a protagonist.
My main focus, at the moment, is marketing my
novels. That specifically means submissions. I’m aiming for agents
because if I can get an agent, I think that might give me more contacts with
publishers plus a let up in the business. I would like to write another
novel, but I’m holding off and editing one of my older novels Shadow of
Darkness. I thought that novel would have fit perfectly with one
potential agent who said they were looking for Jewish based and non-Western
mythology in fantasy. That’s exactly what Shadow of
Darkness is, but they passed on it. In any case, I’m looking for
an agent who will fall in love with my writing and then promote it to
publishers. That’s the goal.
So, perhaps I should look
at the form of the novel and the reflected worldview. I’ll start simply
with some advice. Here is the form of the standard novel:
1. The initial scene
2. The rising action scenes
3. The climax scene
4. The falling action
scene(s)
5. The dénouement scene(s)
I went through the steps in writing the initial
scene, and along with that some of the development of the scene. What I didn’t go through is how we imagine
the initial scene.
This is really the key to the novel and the
initial scene itself. This basically
creates the novel. There are a few ways
we can approach the full on development of the initial scene. Let’s look at these and see if we can
generate some ideas and perhaps an initial scene.
I led you through the concept of the initial
scene as the initial meeting of the protagonist and the antagonist or the
protagonist’s helper. I already wrote
this, but to be clear, this implies you have developed an protagonist, an
antagonist, and/or a protagonist’s helper.
I have literally written novels from a
protagonist. The development of a
protagonist lends itself to the development of an initial scene. Perhaps I should run through this exercise
again, but before we go there, let’s look at the other means to create ideas
for the initial scene.
I’ve never tried to develop an initial scene or a
novel based on an antagonist, but I suspect that might be possible too. The problem is that a good antagonist has a
great potential to become a redeemable or redeemed protagonist. The same is true of the protagonist’s helper
although the focus of a novel is a great means of developing an initial scene
and a novel.
I suspect the development of an antagonist is
similar to the development of a protagonist.
I’d go through the same steps, but as I noted, the chance that the
antagonist would become a great protagonist is high. I might try to develop an antagonist as an
exercise. The development of the focus who
turns into a protagonist or a protagonist’s helper is also a very good way to
develop a novel. This is basically what
I did with Aine.
With Aine, I did start with the protagonist
Eoghan, but I could have started with Aine.
In general, this is how I wrote Hestia. The focus of the novel is Hestia, a Greek
goddess. With her as the focus, the
initial scene became the incarnation or invocation of Hestia. I should have brought in the protagonist as
the main part of the initial scene, but having one of the less trained and less
knowledgeable member of the crew as the invoker was just too delicious. That’s the way the scene came about.
I had one of the four members of my archeological
dig just translate and recite an invocation to Hestia at an important
hearth-site. This was fun and funny
because the character had no idea his invocation would work and the
results. He didn’t believe in God or the
gods or the supernatural. The fact he brought
a goddess back into the world from her place in eternity is kind of funny. The result was even funnier. I’ll continue about the initial scene and
ideas for the initial scene, next.
So, here is a short list of ways to develop the
idea for an initial scene:
1. Protagonist
2. Focus
3. Event
4. Setting
5. Other
character (antagonist or protagonist’s helper)
I’m going to look a the initial scenes from each
of my novels to see how I wrote the novel and started the novel. I’ll apply the criteria above and see how it
fits in the context of the writing and the novel.
The Second Mission (399 to 400 BC) - The initial
scene starts with the protagonist being pulled back into the setting, back in
time to 400 BC. The scene was developed
about the event, but the event of the initial scene included the protagonist
and the setting. In addition, the scene
continues with the protagonist meeting the protagonist’s helper.
This is a pretty obvious initial scene that is,
if you write a novel about time travel, the best and obvious initial scene is
of the protagonist or the focus moving through time into the setting of the time.
There are other ways to write this type of novel,
but as I noted, the meeting of the protagonist and the protagonist helper (or
the antagonist) is a great start for this type of novel. I’m not intentionally repeating myself, I’m
just pointing out that for a time travel novel, the most obvious exciting and
entertaining point to start this type of novel is at the time travel. This also provides the opportunity to engage
the setting which is also on the list.
The event and the setting are perfect places to develop the initial
scene. It follows that the protagonist
is the actor engaged in the scene. This
isn’t an afterthought, but a feature of the novel and the initial scene.
I’ll will point this out, the addition to the initial
scene of the protagonist’s helper is a new and different idea that really
brings great excitement to the scene. Right
at the beginning of the novel, you have the revelation of a mystery—that is you
have a time traveler meeting the protagonist and reveling the time and place as
well as some of the details of the times.
In addition, in history, an unprepared time traveler would likely meet a
quick end without proper training and knowledge.
You can see that accidentally, I wrote this early
novel with a great initial scene. I
think it’s a really fun and interesting novel that has some important points
about both history and truth.
Centurion (6 BC to 33 AD) – this is my problem
child for an initial scene, but my most popular published novel. In retrospect, I’m not certain there is a
better way to write this initial scene or to start this novel. Let me explain and let me describe how it
starts.
This novel begins with setting and an event. It is the meeting of the mothers of Abenadar,
the protagonist of the novel and of Yeshua, the focus of the novel. They meet at the well in Nazareth. Naomi is the mother of Abenadar and a
disgraced woman because she spent the last ten years as the concubine for a
Roman official. Myrim, the mother of
Yeshua, is a disgraced youth because she is pregnant and the father is unknown,
but she has still been accepted into the household of her husband Yosef. These two women converse together at the well
and strike up a friendship based on their mutual circumstances. The point is to provide Abenadar and Yeshua a
connection in life and childhood. That
connection is a foreshadowing to the future.
According to my list for developing the initial
scene, it covers the last three elements.
It doesn’t include the protagonist, the antagonist, or the protagonist’s
helper. In fact, Abenadar has a couple
of protagonist’s helpers through the novel, but really doesn’t meet the main
protagonist’s helper, Ruth, until halfway through the novel.
This isn’t an unusual novel for the novel about a
person from pre-birth to later life.
This is similar to Oliver Twist, Pip, or David Copperfield. Not so unusual for the past, but not so
common for modern novels.
Here is my recommendation. This type of initial scene can be very useful
and good to use. I’d recommend reading
the novel, you can buy it in all kinds of forms. It’s being republished by me to get it back
in the marketplace. My publisher went
out of business. I do recommend this
type of initial scene for this type of novel, but I do admit, it is an odd
novel in today’s world and very different from many other novels you might
read.
Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon 1917 – 1918
(1920) – Now we are talking. This is one
of my newerish novels, so I figured out how to write a great novel by this
time. This novel begins with an initial
scene that meets my criteria and is filled with energy, entertainment, and
excitement. This initial scene is the
meeting of the protagonist and the antagonist.
The protagonist is Aksinya and the antagonist is the demon, Asmodeus.
The initial setting for the novel is the estate
of Aksinya’s adopted father, a Count. Aksinya
is in the guest house and the specific setting is Russia in 1917 during the
Bolshevik revolution. The event is when
Aksinya calls the demon Asmodeus to save her family from the Bolsheviks, but
she is too late. They are already dead.
This is a great beginning for this type of novel
and for this novel. It follows all the
recommendations I’ve passed to you. As I
wrote, as I became a better and more proficient author, I figured out exactly
how a novel should be constructed.
Aksinya is constructed exactly how I think a great novel should be. I’m still looking for a publisher. I think this would be a potential bestseller,
but it needs a publisher.
Aegypt 1926 – This is one of my first published
novel. It is the first of a series of
seven novels that cascade from Aegypt.
The initial scene is a description of Paul Bolang’s trek back to Fort
Saint. My mentor liked this initial
scene and advised I put more and more information about Paul in the
writing. In general, this scene is
basically a series of flashbacks to Paul’s life and the most recent battle he
led against a local warlord in Tunisia.
This initial scene is all about the protagonist. It includes the setting, and is an event
sequel, in the language of modern scenecraft.
Problems with this initial scene is that it isn’t the meeting of the
protagonist with the protagonist’s helper or the antagonist. It isn’t a strong action scene although it
does include exciting flashbacks. I had
a great mentor, but my mentor was pretty old school and old school wasn’t as
aware of the initial scene as I think we as modern writers should be.
Part of the problem with this novel is that the
protagonist’s helper and the antagonist are mysteries and secrets at the
beginning of the novel. They can’t be
included in the initial scene because of this, so we are left with providing
background and buildup.
Now that I’m more aware of writing and novels, I
should have begun Aegypt with either the battle Paul Bolang thinks about
in the return to Fort Saint, or perhaps at some other point. However, for this novel, this scene fits well
and works well—it just isn’t as exciting and entertaining as I would like. I could have chosen a better event to bring
in the novel and protagonist. The initial
scene is adequate and does properly convey the novel into the world and
place. As I noted, it includes the
protagonist, the setting, and introduces the situation, the telic flaw of the
novel—the archeological dig, or more precisely, the Egyptian temple foundation
in the middle of Tunisa.
Sister of Light 1926 – 1934 – This novel starts
with the protagonist, Leora Bolang.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t up to my knowledge and understanding of the
initial scene when I wrote it. The novel
was still placed on contract for publishing and was about to be published in a
trilogy and individually when my publisher went bankrupt, so I’d say the scene
was okay.
The scene begins with Paul leaving Leora to get
his orders while she sits at a Paris café and thinks about the past. That sets the scene, the novel, and provides
the events that then move into the novel.
I should have set the initial scene with something else, but this
initial scene, though adequate, isn’t what I would recommend today.
Would I rewrite it? Nah.
Although the scene could be better, it still fits the novel and is a
good beginning. It does give us
excitement and entertainment. It could
be set at a more significant event, but still, it does it’s job, and as I
noted, the novel was on contract—my publisher and the editor found it
compelling enough to accept it and want to publish it. I might independently publish this
novel. We shall see.
Sister of Darkness 1939 – 1945 – This novel
starts with a dream scene that includes the initial meeting of the protagonist,
Leroa Bolang, the protagonist’s helper, Lumiere, and the antagonist,
Liela. In the scene, Lumiere is
experiencing a dream from her mother, Leora’s past where Liela tried to choak
her to death while she was sleeping. The
scene is quite intricate and exciting.
The end result is the power Liela is expressing in the world.
This scene precedes World War Two and the escape
of the Bolang family to England. The
initial scene connects the entire novel and the main characters.
I’m not certain I had figured out the way to
write a great novel at the time I wrote this novel. The initial scene was an accident of
perfection. This is the type of initial
scene I’d recommend for any novel. It
includes all the features, I’d recommend, and that I described before.
Shadow of Darkness 1945 – 1953 – This novel’s
initial scene is perfect from a novel development standpoint. It begins with Lumiere’s and Oba’s escape
from the German Neues Museum in 1945 war worn Berlin. The Germans and Russians are fighting for the
city of Berlin and the protagonist and her servant are caught up in the middle
of it.
This initial scene is filled with excitement,
action, and adventure—plus, you can add to it, mystery. In this initial scene Lumiere is almost
killed by a German panzerfaust and rescued by two journalists with the Russian
Fifth Shock Army.
At the beginning of the novel, our protagonist
almost loses her life and does lose her memories. She becomes a disabled child haunted by the
past and eventually, the memories become dreams in her life and threaten to
overwhelm her.
This initial scene is perfect for this novel and
perfect from my standpoint for any novel.
It isn’t the initial meeting of the protagonist with the protagonist’s
helper or the antagonist, but it’s a great way to start a novel.
Shadow of Light 1953 – 1956 – When I wrote this
novel, I was beginning to understand the method and means to write a great
novel. I was putting together the major
ideas on the initial scene at the time. In
any case, this initial scene isn’t as filled with excitement as I’d like. The scene includes the protagonist, Lumiere
and her sister, Marie. Lumiere is
depressed and contemplating what she will do in the future. That’s the scene. I wanted to set the novel with this scene,
but it’s a pretty underpowered scene. That’s
bad.
I would likely rewrite it if I rewrote the novel,
but I won’t. The initial scene doesn’t
meet the quality and type of initial scene I recommend today, but the scene
doesn’t detract from the novel, it just doesn’t set it off as well as it could.
There isn’t enough action and excitement in the
scene; however, the entertainment in the scene isn’t bad. It just isn’t action filled.
Antebellum 1965 (1860 to 1865) – This was one of
my first novels, but it also has a perfect initial scene. The initial scene is a dreamlike
transformation of the Plantation House Belle Fleur where Heather steps into the
world of 1860 and meets the antagonist, Syble, her namesake.
In this scene, Heather explores and sees the
kitchen with Syble and her house slave Majorie preparing breakfast for the
family. You get pieces of the outside
world and the inside of Belle Fleur. The
scene is filled with subtle action and real entertainment. It provides the protagonist, Heather, the
antagonist, Syble, the setting, Belle Fleur, and the telic flaw which is the
house itself and the history around it.
This novel has a perfect initial scene, and I got
to it accidentally and exactly while writing one of my earliest novels. I guess I had something right although I
didn’t fully realize it at the time—it just felt like the correct way to write
the novel.
Children of Light and Darkness 1970 – 1971 – I
really like this initial scene even though it doesn’t follow all my
recommendations. In this scene, Kathrin
and James are going on one of their usual forays to look for Lumiere and
Alexandre who have been missing for years.
The Organization wants them back and the political environment of Burma
has made investigation possible near the Chinese border.
Katrin and James are an operative and an agent
for the Organization and MI6. James is a
share. The initial scene describes the
initial setting of the area of Burma they are in, introduces the protagonist,
Kathrin, introduces the protagonist’s helper, James, and gives some strong
hints to the telic flaw of the novel.
The actual telic flaw is very complex and not at all what the reader
thinks until we get deep into the novel itself.
In this initial scene James and Kathrin engage in
a village festival for the worship of twin goddesses, light and dark. These goddesses turn out to be Egyptian
looking girls who Kathrin and James guess are Lumiere and Alexandre’s
children. That’s the beginning and I
think it’s a great start for this novel.
Warrior of Light 1974 – 1976 – this novel begins
with an introduction of the protagonist.
It’s not an action packed beginning, but it brings in Danny Long, the
protagonist and introduces him to the protagonists’ helpers, Klava and Sveta.
Klava and Sveta were the focuses of the previous
novel in the series. In this novel,
Sveta becomes the protagonist’s helper to Danny. This is a self-discovery bordering on coming
of age novel.
I really don’t write novels for the young adult
crowd, but my novels are good reading for mature youth. They are intended to be adult novels with
adult subjects—I don’t mean from an explicit, but a maturity idea.
This initial scene depicts Danny Long going to
meet his neighbors, Sveta and Klava, their adopted mother, Kathrin, and the
other children in the family. Sveta and
Klava see great potential in Danny, not just as a friend, but as a potential
warrior. The problem is one of training
and experience. Sveta claims Danny as
her own—the Goddess of Light seeks a man of action for her warrior, while the
Goddess of Darkness seeks a scholar.
Danny is both, but Sveta wants him and Klava bows out of the
competition. She has other things to
do.
I should mention, this is a very compelling and
interesting novel that describes the growth and training of the protagonist and
the focuses.
Warrior of Darkness 1980 – 1981 – This novel
definitely meets my qualifications and recommendations for the initial
scene. In this scene Klava, the
protagonist, is protecting the people of a pub in Belfast from a bomb set by
the PIRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army) and their magic user. This is a meeting between the protagonist and
the antagonist. Klava prevents the bomb
from harming any of the people and sends the blast against the PIRA and their
operatives. The end result is positive,
but Klava has her own issues.
The novel is all about Klava and her issues. These are writ large over the Irish problems
and troubles of the times. She is
working for the Organization and the Crown.
As I wrote, this initial scene fits my
recommendations perfectly and sets the novel exactly as I like. It is filled with action, adventure, and
excitement.
Deirdre: Enchantment and the School 1992 – 1993 –
this novel starts with a gentle bang, and that’s the way I planned it. This initial scene is a little more sedate
than I recommend, but it’s exactly what this novel needed.
In the initial scene, we meet the protagonist,
Deirdre, and the protagonist’s helper, Sorcha.
We get the initial setting, which is the setting for most of the
novel. We also get the telic flaw.
In the initial scene, Deirdre meets Sorcha, a
half Fae girl who is secretly attending Wycombe Abby in full sight. Sorcha uses her Fae power to hide both making
her clothing look correct and her presence seem proper. Sorcha attacks Deirdre to protect her
identity, but Deirdre is used to brawling and beats Sorcha. All this puts negative attention on Deirdre
and threatens to do the same for Sorcha.
This initial scene starts easily and ends with a
bang. This is exactly the kind of scene
for this type of novel and includes all the aspects I recommend. I had gained a strong understanding of the
initial scene by the time I wrote this novel.
Cassandra: Enchantment and the Warriors 1993 –
1994 – This novel, is a follow-on to Deirdre: Enchantment and the School,
and has a similar initial scene.
Actually, it has an initial scene with more psychological and mental
excitement than action and adventure.
The novel and the scene is based on my increased
knowledge about writing novels and the initial scene. In the initial scene, we meet the
protagonist, Sorcha, and the protagonist’s helper, Deirdre when they learn the
very bad news that instead of going to Cranwell to become aviation cadets, they
are going to Saint Malo to be finished.
This was a directive from their mother and non-negotiable because their
current mentor and sponsor General Bolang is being deployed to the Middle East
and Africa.
I’ll just mention that Sorcha and Deirdra are
about to face a dangerous and important assignment for Britain and the
Organization, and they are about to meet some very unusual beings and people.
Although this initial scene isn’t filled with
adventure and action, the excitement and mystery of it drives the scene, plus
it’s a follow-on and fits the previous novel.
Hestia: Enchantment of the Hearth 2000 – 2001 –
This is a little unusual novel. It
begins with the focus and one of the main characters. The focus is Hestia and the protagonist is
Angela. The novel begins with one of the
minor characters reciting and translating an ancient Greek incantation. The recitation of the Greek document calls
Hestia, and in the initial scene Hestia puts some strong magic on this
character. This is a subtle but exciting
and action packed scene.
The scene starts subtly, then moves to greater
and greater excitement and action. This
is a great beginning for the novel. We
don’t get to see Angela, the protagonist until the next scene and the morning.
This is a great scene and beginning for the
novel, however it doesn’t meet my recommendations of the meeting of the
antagonist or the protagonist’s helper and the protagonist. It’s a meeting of a minor character and the
invocation of the focus. That’s an odd
beginning, but this is an early novel.
Essie: Enchantment and the Aos Si 2002 – 2005 –
This novel starts with a bang. This has
a great initial scene. In fact, this is
one of the novels I wrote just from the initial scene.
In this scene, Mrs. Lyons, the protagonist’s
helper, finds Essie, the protagonist in her pantry and captures her. It’s all accidental, but Mrs. Lyons decides
to keep Essie and reform her.
This scene is filled with action, adventure, and
excitement. It shows the initial meeting
of the protagonist and the protagonist’s helper and introduces the initial
setting as well as the telic flaw of the novel.
This is a great beginning for a great novel, and a very fun one too.
Khione: Enchantment and the Fox 2003 – 2004 -
This is also one of my later novels with a great initial scene. In this scene Peirce and his friend chase
down the naked girl who catches cats and squirrels around the campus of Boston
University. While chasing Khione, she is
hit by a bus and Pierce takes her to his apartment on campus.
This scene is filled with excitement and action
and is all about the meeting of the protagonist, Pierce, and the protagonist’s
helper, Khione. Khione is also the focus
of the novel.
We are introduced to the initial setting and to
the telic flaw. Pierce’s telic flaw is
basically Khione and Khione’s problems.
Basically, Khione has been a slave for her entire life as a
demigod. She was lately released by
Hestia and Angela in the novel, Hestia: Enchantment and the Hearth. However, Khione was cursed by Hestia in the
way past, and she is still affected by it now.
This is Khione’s problem that becomes Peirce’s problem as well.
Blue Rose: Enchantment and the Detective 2008 –
2009 – This novel starts with a subtle meeting scene where the protagonist,
Azure Rose meets her New Scotland Yard contacts. They aren’t really the protagonist’s helper,
but they are in need of Azure’s help.
Azure (Blue) Rose wants to be a supernatural
detective. She actually is a
supernatural detective, but Rose wants to be paid for her work, and there are
many reasons for this. Mainly, Rose
wants the return of her estate.
The novel begins with New Scotland Yard seeking
Rose’s help with an apparent supernatural crime. They meet at a tea shop near the financial
center of London. The actual initial
scene involves the police in the special detective office meeting Rose for the
first time. This provides the
excitement, action, and entertainment in the scene.
This immediately moves to the scene of the crime
and Rose’s resolution of the crime—it’s not supernatural at all.
Dana-ana: Enchantment and the Maiden 2009 – 2010
– this initial scene and novel fits exactly what I recommend and advise for the
first scene. In this scene, the protagonist’s
helper Byron meets the protagonist and focus, Dana-ana. She is being bullied at school. The students accuse her of stealing
lunches. Byron defuses the situation and
takes the unconscious Dana-ana to the school nurse.
This scene is filled with action and
adventure. It introduces the characters,
protagonist and protagonist’s helper, and brings into focus the telic flaw and
initial scene.
As I wrote, this is the type of initial scene
that is perfect for a novel and for this novel.
This is the best way to start a novel, and notice, it meets all my
recommendations for starting a novel.
Valeska: Enchantment and the Vampire 2014 – 2015
– Oh yeah, I figured it out by this novel as well. This initial scene is filled with action,
adventure, and excitement. George, the
protagonist, is on an international mission for the Polish government. He’s a British intelligence asset, but being
shared for Polish ops. His supposedly
safe mission goes badly, and he is shot by the contact. That’s when he meets Valeska. Valeska is the protagonist’s helper and a
vampire. She’s hunting too, and she’s
pissed that George scared away her prey.
She asks to dine on his blood.
George doesn’t believe in vampires, and he doesn’t care what happens to
his blood since he thinks he’s dying.
And he is. Valeska shares part of
her vitality with George. It doesn’t
make him a vampire, but it makes him heal.
Action, adventure, sense of death, and meeting a
vampire. The connections and the actions
will lead into this novel about George, Valeska, and Stela. Stela is the British intelligence
organization that protects Britain from the supernatural.
Lilly: Enchantment and the Computer 2014 – 2015 –
This novel also starts with a bang. I’ve
been trying to identify the novels I wrote early and late to show how as I
matured as a writer, and especially how I learned to write a great initial
scene.
In Lilly, the initial scene shows Lilly
caught by a customer at a convenience store when she uses their password to get
FastBucks credit to buy bread. Dane, the
protagonist of the novel saves her and begins his friendship with her. Lilly is the focus and the protagonist’s
helper of the novel.
The novel starts with a big fight where Lilly and
Dane run. Lilly is an expert computer
hacker, programmer, and inventor. Dane
sees immediately that she is an amazing person, but Lilly is intentionally
living on the streets and eating from garbage cans. Dane basically saves Lilly from the streets
and other dangers. She latches on to him
and the initial scene propels this into the novel.
This is the kind of initial scene I recommend and
advise.
September 2022 – death of Elizabeth
Sorcha: Enchantment and the Curse 2025 – 2026 –
again, this novel shows that I learned well in my experience of writing over 30
novels. This one starts at a boil with
Shiggy waking up bound to a medical examination table. She can’t remember how she got there, but she
does remember screwing up a hostage rescue training mission by accidentally
shooting one of the hostages—it was all simulated. She remembers even more about her very sad
and poor career in British intelligence—then she decides to make her own wishes
known, and we get a full blown confrontation with her mistress, Sorcha.
This scene is filled with action and
entertainment, and we get a recap of Shiggy’s life since graduating. She’s really screwed the pooch wherever she’s
been assigned to train, and I mean screwed the pooch. Because of modern ideas on washing people out
plus security, Shiggy’s been passed on and on in the system until she arrived
at Sorcha’s door. Shiggy is just the
kind of person Sorcha has been looking for. It’s not a good thing.
In any case, Shiggy is my protagonist in this
novel, and Sorcha is the protagonist’s helper.
Their initial scene is their meeting, and the fireworks plus slow burn
begin.
2026 death of Mrs. Calloway
Rose: Enchantment and the Flower January to April
2028 – This is another great example of a proper initial scene. By the way, I’m not really writing science
fiction in these novels, I’m using my characters and the time of my novels just
ran ahead of the real world by a little.
In this initial scene, Shiggy, the protagonist’s
helper of this novel, goes to her safe house in Rousay in the Orkney Islands
and finds Rose. The scene is filled with
mystery action and excitement, because Shiggy, as an agent for Stela and the
Organization must capture and investigate Rose.
The capture and investigation provides a entertaining as well as
exciting beginning. It throws the reader
directly into the mystery of who is Rose and what will happen to her. That’s the telic flaw in a nutshell as
well—although there is a little more to this.
Seoirse: Enchantment and the Assignment August to
November 2028 – okay, although this is my latest novel, it doesn’t start
exactly as I recommend. The beginning is
the meeting, and initial meeting, of the protagonist, Seoirse and the
protagonist’s helper, Rose. That’s one
of my recommendations and my main advise for the initial scene. Unfortunately, this scene is more of a
briefing and introduction. There is
action, but that action is mostly dialog.
There is excitement, but that excitement is mostly dialog. All in all, this initial scene fits this
novel and properly starts it, but it really wasn’t the scene I wanted for the
novel.
I really wanted to begin the novel with the scene
where Rose confronts the five goddesses and has a really big fight. That scene makes the novel move with great
power to toward the climax and telic flaw resolution, but I just couldn’t make
it work.
The novel required more information, setting, and
setup prior to that scene. It couldn’t
be the initial scene, but it becomes a pivotal scene in the novel. All in all, this is a very fun and exciting
novel, but it does start with a little less action than I like. The real action comes just a little
later. I’m sill happy with it.
science fiction
Escape from Freedom – I really had this one down
before I wrote it. I designed the
initial scene first and then developed the characters to match what I
wanted. By the time I wrote the initial
scene, it was fully developed and filled with action, adventure, and
entertainment.
In this scene, Reb, the protagonist’s helper is
walking home from her job in her community on Freedom, when Scott’s suborbital
shuttle makes an emergency landing right in front of her. Scott is illegally crossing through Freedom’s
airspace to save time on his shuttle route.
He has an engine failure and must land on the island nation of
Freedom.
Reb is a worker with very high abilities. She has
been bred for visual, smell, and mental acuity and she invents new scents and
chemicals for the nation of Freedom. If
you didn’t figure out already, Freedom is not a place of freedom at all. All the people of freedom are either
citizens, armed citizens, or party members.
The citizens have no freedom at all, while the party members live in
great comfort. I’ll go further, although
it's not in the initial scene. The
citizens eat engineered food with drugs to keep them under control while the
party members get real food and abuse the citizens as they desire.
This novel has an awesome initial scene.
The End of Honor – this novel is one of my
early ones. I didn’t know how to write a
novel at the time. I was staggering
through, and by the way, no one in a school or university can teach you how to
write a novel or even how to write good fiction. That’s because to produce and teach good
fiction, you have to write good fiction.
The only measure of good fiction is traditional publication. Most professors, educators, and teachers are
not published professionally. This means
they have no clue about how to write.
As I wrote, The End of Honor was one of my
early novels. It starts with the protagonist’s
helper being executed. The protagonist
is no where to be found, yet. This is
actually a great beginning for this kind of novel. I accidentally chose the seminal moment for
the novel to begin. This event, the
execution of Lyral Neuterra is the pivotal event in the novel that causes the
great war and conflict within the Human Galactic Empire and with the
Emperor. This is actually a great
beginning for the novel. I accidentally
hit on it, and it worked. My traditional
publisher liked it.
There are other problems with my early novels
that I know better about now. One of
these is the prologue. I’ll discuss this
about these novels.
The Fox’s Honor – this novel begins with a
gentle initial scene that quickly accelerates into a full blown action and excitement
filled catastrophe—at least for the protagonist and the protagonist’s
helper. The initial scene is a meeting
of the protagonist and the protagonist’s helper. The antagonist comes along a little later in
the scene. In any case, this novel has a
good initial scene that sets the novel and launches us into the terrible war started
in The End of Honor.
Now, I want to mention something about these
three Chronicles of the Dragon and the Fox novels. Each has a funny prologue at the beginning
that sets the times and the history of the Human Galactic Empire. I was copying one of my favorite authors,
Jack Vance, when I included these prologues.
I realize today that prologues are worthless. I would still leave them into these novels
because my traditional publisher liked them and didn’t recommend pulling them
out, but with experience and time, I’ve come to realize just how worthless
prologues are. Literally, if it isn’t
worth putting into the text of the main novel, it isn’t worth writing (or
reading). Now, a prologue in a science fiction
novel may have more worth and give more to the readers than in any other type
of novel, but from the experience of others, I found (and they found) that
prologues are generally a bump in the road of publication and for readers. As I think I wrote already, the reader usually
skips the prologue or just rips through it—all the work you put into it just
went to dross. Publishers skip the
prologue entirely—they see it as a worthless part of the writing—they realize
that most readers will skip it. If that’s
true, then why write it? A famous (or
not so famous) bestseller wrote once that when she excluded the prologue, she
finally got published—go figure.
A Season of Honor – This was my first
novel and perhaps the least effective initial scene. I had very little idea when I started writing
how to put a novel together. I’d read
thousands of novels, but that really doesn’t prepare you for writing one—it’s
the beginning, but the skills for writing are different than the skills for
reading.
This novel starts with the protagonist, Shaun du
Locke in a meeting with Ian Acier. The
meeting comes around to the focus of the novel, Elina Acier, and Ian enlists
Shaun to take Elina to her betrothed on the Imperial Capital of Arienth. This is an initial scene missing excitement
and action. It’s really not a great
initial scene for any novel. My
publisher still liked it, and I’m not certain how I could fix it in the context
of the novel.
I thought about making the next scene the initial
scene—the next scene is the scene where Shaun, the protagonist, meeting Elina,
the protagonist’s helper and focus. This
would have made a cleaner beginning, but it would have also reduced the tension
and release in the second scene. That’s
why I didn’t do anything to fix the novel, and my readers haven’t
complained. I think it is an unusual and
action packed novel already, and the initial scene doesn’t hurt the novel—it just
makes it have less market appeal for someone who isn’t familiar with my writing—oh
well. I can use the example to help you,
and it’s a traditionally published novel.
Athelstan Cying – even though this was
one of my early novels, it has a very well crafted initial scene. In this scene, we meet the protagonist, the
protagonist’s helper, see the initial setting, and get the telic flaw with
action, excitement, and entertainment.
In this initial scene, the Family Trader
spaceship, Twilight Lamb has encountered the interstellar yacht, Athelstan
Cying. On the Athelstan Cying is the
soul of one of the crew, an escapee from a prison who was a psionic master. On the Twilight Lamb, we meet the Captain’s
son, Den Protania, a neerdowell who with the soul will become the
protagonist. Also on the Twilight Lamb,
we meet the young astrogator Natana Kern who once loved Den, but hates him
now. We see Den and Natana as they are
mustering to their positions in their work.
We see the soul on the Athelstan Cying protecting the Twilight Lamb, and
then trying to protect Den when he breaks protocol and the rule of
engagement.
This is a great scene for this novel and the
series of novels based on it.
Twilight Lamb
Regia Anglorum
Shadowed Vale
Ddraig Goch – not completed
I want to write another book based on Rose and
Seoirse, and the topic will be the raising of Ceridwen—at least that’s my
plan. Before I get to that, I want to write another novel about
dependency as a theme. We shall see.
More
tomorrow.
For more information, you can visit my author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel
websites:
http://www.ancientlight.com/
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com
