Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 358, Information Transition to the Rising Action

3 April 2015, Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 358, Information Transition to the Rising Action

Announcement: Delay, my new novels can be seen on the internet, but the publisher has delayed all their fiction output due to the economy.  I'll keep you informed.  More information can be found at www.ancientlight.com.  Check out my novels--I think you'll really enjoy them.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

The four plus one basic rules I employ when writing:

1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

All novels have five discrete parts:
1.  The initial scene (the beginning)
2.  The rising action
3.  The climax
4.  The falling action
5.  The dénouement

The theme statement of my 25th novel, working title, Escape, is this: a girl in a fascist island nation will do anything to escape--a young cargo shuttle pilot not following the rules crashes on the island.

Here is the cover proposal for Lilly: Enchantment and the Computer.  Lilly is my 24th novel.

Cover Proposal

The most important scene in any novel is the initial scene, but eventually, you have to move to the rising action.  I'm writing about the transition from the initial scene to the rising action of my newest novel, "Escape."  Escape is the working title.  I'll decide on the actual proposed title when I finish the novel.  I'm at the nineteenth chapter right now.  That means I've written about 380 pages.  I've just finished writing the climax.

Let's review my guidelines for conversation.

1.  Cultural norms (greeting, introduction, small talk, big talk)
2.  Logical response (characters must respond to each other in the conversation)
3.  ID the speaker
4.  Show us the picture of the conversation
5.  Use contractions (most of the time)
6.  What are you trying to say?
7.  What is unsaid in the conversation?
8.  Build the tone of the conversation.
9.  Show don't tell.
10.  Keep proper names to a minimum.

I'm an advocate of using the/a scene input/output method to drive the rising action--in fact, to write any novel.  I'll describe this technique (and style) again if you are new to my blog or you missed it before. 

In the novel, Scott wants as much information as possible about Freedom.  His purpose is to escape Freedom.  The reader wants to know just as much, if not more, than Scott--that's entertainment. 

I love these kinds of novels--both to read and to write.  In the writing, I am creating a new world where all the parts connect through logic and human norms.  The world that is created my not look exactly like any place in the human domains, but it must fit together logically and reasonably.  The enjoyable part is the revelation of this world to the reader--in every sense.

Therefore, we need to find ways to inform Scott and the readers about this world.  The first and most powerful is showing--actually living in the world.  I cut off much of the description from the second scene of Escape.  I think I'll give you a little of it--a taste of the showing.  The second and much more powerful means is conversation.  This is initially Reb and Scott.  Scott has questions, and the reader has questions too.  Reb can answer many, but not all of his questions.  I think you can see, other conversations are then important to answer questions that Reb cannot.  Further, another part of showing is exploration.  Scott will explore the world of Freedom.  This excites him and the reader.  Here is more showing--its about the food the Citizens of Freedom eat.

 

Scott looked at the food in front of him.  There were no utensils or plates.  The food was entirely self-contained.  The tray was made of a light grey synthetic material.  He examined each piece of food.  The closest to any food he was used to was a piece of something like bread.  It was soft and light brown but didn’t crumble at all.  He tasted it.  It had something close to a flavor like bread and nuts.  It tasted fresh and was fluffy.  The second piece was like a small torte.  There was a light brown crust with a yellow brown filling.  He picked it up and bit into it.  The flavor was similar to eggs and cheese.  The crust was flaky, but didn’t crumble.  Everything stuck together so nothing was lost or wasted—no trash, no mess.  The third piece of food was an elongated sphere.  It had a slightly elastic skin.  Scott bit into it.  The consistency was like fruit and it was somewhat sweet and juicy, but the juice didn’t drip from the pulp.  He guessed it was artificial or synthetic—just like the others foods.  The final large piece was a container filled with liquid.  The container had an attached straw.  The liquid was a little fizzy like a soft drink.  It had a slightly citrus flavor. 

Scott remembered, Reb also was issued another piece of food and a small lump that looked like candy.  He had a piece of candy too.  It was a small hard light green colored sphere.  Her extra piece had been a caramel colored square.  He had eaten and drank everything else.  It was sufficient, but not enough to completely fill him.  He popped the candy into his mouth.  It had a slightly acrid and drug-like flavor at first.  He wondered that he didn’t spit it out.  He experienced a sudden burst of euphoria.  He realized then that it was a drug.  The flavor was like a cross between chocolate and mint—there was a creaminess to it.  The euphoria lasted as long as the hard candy lasted.

His thinking was slightly befuddled because of the candy, but he began looking around at the posters and their slogans.  The closest to him stated: Working is Freedom.  He tried to get his slightly drugged mind around that—working is freedom.  Another said: Property is Poverty, and another: Property is Captivity.  Still another read: Life is Greater than Food and Wealth.  There were more, but his mind had slowed to the point it was difficult for him to contemplate them.  He sat in a daze until the lump of candy in his mouth was gone.  Almost immediately, his head cleared.  For a moment, all he could think about was another piece of candy.  He glanced over at Reb.  She was just popping the second piece of candy in her mouth—the square one.  Her eyes went immediately blank.  The other women at the table held similar expressions.  They sat there for a few moments—their lips and mouths moved sucking every bit of drug and savor from the candy.  Then one by one, as the candy disappeared, their faces returned to normal.  Slowly, all the people were finishing their meals and leaving the place. 

Synthetic food and drugs--this is what the Citizens of Freedom eat.  In the novel, I describe once each of the three meals the Citizens eat.  Later, I contrast this with the wonderful "real" food the Party Members eat.  The Citizens have no idea how lavish the food of the Party Members is.  It's just like our food.

The drugs are also part of dinner for each Citizen.  Scott sees two drugs in action.  There are more types of drugs that are used for different Citizens.  To learn about the drugs, Scott needs to hear from someone else.  Although Reb is an expert on chemicals, she is not savvy to the effects of the drugs on humans.  In Freedom, only the doctors are knowledgeable about the human effects of drugs.  As we saw yesterday, Reb has no idea about drugs in terms of human effects--her knowledge was specifically limited to chemicals.  She does understand how chemicals can effect smells, tastes, vision, and to a degree, the human body.  She doesn't understand "drug" effects or the point of drugs to control humans.   

More tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:

http://www.ancientlight.com/
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com  

fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline, character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing, information, study, marketing,

Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 357, Conversation Scenes Transition to the Rising Action

2 April 2015, Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 357, Conversation Scenes Transition to the Rising Action

Announcement: Delay, my new novels can be seen on the internet, but the publisher has delayed all their fiction output due to the economy.  I'll keep you informed.  More information can be found at www.ancientlight.com.  Check out my novels--I think you'll really enjoy them.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

The four plus one basic rules I employ when writing:

1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

All novels have five discrete parts:
1.  The initial scene (the beginning)
2.  The rising action
3.  The climax
4.  The falling action
5.  The dénouement

The theme statement of my 25th novel, working title, Escape, is this: a girl in a fascist island nation will do anything to escape--a young cargo shuttle pilot not following the rules crashes on the island.

Here is the cover proposal for Lilly: Enchantment and the Computer.  Lilly is my 24th novel.

Cover Proposal

The most important scene in any novel is the initial scene, but eventually, you have to move to the rising action.  I'm writing about the transition from the initial scene to the rising action of my newest novel, "Escape."  Escape is the working title.  I'll decide on the actual proposed title when I finish the novel.  I'm at the nineteenth chapter right now.  That means I've written about 380 pages.  I've just finished writing the climax.

Let's review my guidelines for conversation.

1.  Cultural norms (greeting, introduction, small talk, big talk)
2.  Logical response (characters must respond to each other in the conversation)
3.  ID the speaker
4.  Show us the picture of the conversation
5.  Use contractions (most of the time)
6.  What are you trying to say?
7.  What is unsaid in the conversation?
8.  Build the tone of the conversation.
9.  Show don't tell.
10.  Keep proper names to a minimum.

I'm an advocate of using the/a scene input/output method to drive the rising action--in fact, to write any novel.  I'll describe this technique (and style) again if you are new to my blog or you missed it before. 

I gave you part of the second scene in the novel Escape.  I usually don't give much more than the first chapter, but I'd like you to see how I move the rising action to conversation.  What you missed was: Reb took Scott back to the community by the back way.  She had him bathe in the shared facility, and gave him a clothing issue.  They went to her private room and stowed way his clothing and equipment.  They went to dinner.  At each step, I showed the reader more and more of the world of Freedom (the country).  Finally, Scott and Reb return to her room where Scott wants to know about everything...

Reb soundly shut the door behind them.  She took a deep breath.  The soft lights came on in the room.

Scott crossed his arms, “Now I want you to tell me everything about this place.”

She shushed him, “Not so loud.  The walls are synthetic concrete, but the vents can convey conversation well.  Is that knowledge really necessary for you to escape?”

He nodded.

She pulled her footlocker to the side of the bed and pointed toward it.  Scott sat on the footlocker, and she sat on the bed.  First Scott bent his head toward hers and grabbed her left arm.  She gave a low squawk and pulled away for a moment, but he didn’t let go.  Scott pulled up her sleeve to reveal a tattoo.  He examined it.  The tattoo was her name with a barcode underneath it.  It literally said V10+S10 537 Rebecka.  There was a strange space before the five.  He guessed the barcode repeated the character.  He asked, “What is this exactly?”

She looked up at his eyes then down at the tattoo, “This is my life mark.  I was very surprised to see that you didn’t have one anywhere on your body.”

“What does it mean?”

Reb gave a haughty smile, “It says that I am a visual acuity level ten plus and a scent acuity level ten.  My personal number is 537 of all those who are coded V or S.  My series name is Rebecka…”

“Series name?”

“It is the name people usually call me.  It indicates my birth year and special sequence and allows others to address me.”

“My name is Scott Phillips.  I guess in your understanding, Phillips Scott.  You can call me Scott.”

“We had a Scott series once,” she added ominously, “but I think he went to the hospital—and didn’t return.”

“Is there more than one series name?”

Not usually more than one under a single code, but it’s not unheard of.  There are only so many names to go around—the computer has trouble sometimes inventing new series.  Usually the judgment and categorization willows out many of the repeated names.”

“Judgment and categorization…what’s that?”

“Each of us has our special place here.  It is a place we were bred to fill.  I am a special of category VS that is also my code.  VS means that I have a highly acute and accurate sense of sight and smell…”

“How acute and accurate?”

“We measure things using a very scientific standard here, but both my acuity and accuracy in vision is more than ten times greater than a normal citizen.  My sense of smell is likewise ten time greater than the average citizen.”

“That’s why the smell of the sewage pond bothered you so much.  You were bred that way?”

She nodded.

“For what purpose?”

She grinned proudly, “I develop scents and colors for our nation, Freedom.”

“Scents and colors?  How are they used?”

She cocked her head, “I developed the colors for the foods you ate today.  I also helped make the scents of some of them.  Ruth is our scent team leader, but I helped with many of them and especially the candy.”

“Drug—you mean.”

“Drug?”

“Yes, the candy at dinner—it’s a drug.”

“A drug?”

He shook his head, “Why don’t you know about drugs?  A drug is something you ingest that causes a reaction in the body or mind.”

She shrugged, “In that case everything we ingest is a drug of some kind.  We design it all.  Everything comes from basic molecular compounds.  We mix the compounds for taste, texture, sight, and smell to make them most pleasant for each citizen…”

“What about the effect of the drug in that candy?”

“I don’t understand what you mean by effect.”

“When you begin to eat it, you get an initial acrid taste—that’s the drug.  It very quickly changes to a completely different taste and gives you a feeling of euphoria.  It is a very powerful hallucinogenic drug that seems to have almost no lasting effect—or at least any noticeable lasting effect.”

Reb pulled on her bottom lip, “It does have lasting effects…”

“They are?”

“I have no idea—that is classified.”  Her smile returned, “I worked on the scent and colors.  We have always had a problem with the initial taste—the moment the chemicals begin to act, you no longer taste them.  Isn’t it wonderful?”

“It’s a drug—all right, a chemical.  What about the extra food you had?”

“That was extra protein and a chemical enhancement.”

“Enhancement?”

She tapped her lips, “It improves our acuity.”

“It also appeared to have the same euphoric effects.”

“It does make you feel good,” she sighed at the thought.

“So what does the euphoria hide?”

“Hide?”

Scott had a frown on his face, “I’m not an expert on drugs, but in my land, you put in flavors and anesthetics, euphorics, to mask the effects of more powerful drugs.”

She stared at him, “Is that true…?”

“It is true.”

“I need to think on this very carefully…”

Scott rubbed his chin, “I need to know more about your island…”

“It is called Freedom…”

“Freedom.  You work with many scents and colors—what does your nation, Freedom do with them all?”

“Do with them?”

Scott leaned back, “How many colors and scents do you develop over a year?”

She smiled, “Perhaps one color and one scent a week.  Usually, I design a series of colors and work on a series of scents.  Many times they are matched to one another…”

“Then how are they used?”

“Used?”

“Look for all the colors and scents you developed, we saw two examples, both drugs.  Where is the rest of your work?”

“There is another edible chemical I worked on, but I hadn’t thought about that before—I have no idea what they do with the rest of my…our work.”

 

There you go--I didn't give you everything, just a taste.  Note the conversation flows following the guidelines I gave you above.  At this point, there are likely many things Reb is hiding from Scott and Scott from Reb--or not.  She is really artless about some things but has been taught by her culture to hide everything of note--she doesn't even know what she is hiding.  She doesn't really have the words to express anything of importance--to Scott. 

Likewise, Scott has much to hide--the biggest secret is that he is using Reb to help him and has no intention of letting her come with him.  On the other hand, Reb will do anything to escape--anything.  These are powerful secrets that are revealed through showing and some individual contemplation. 

The transition to the rising action from the initial scene involves action and finally conversation.  Indeed, my goal in this novel and any novel I write is to let the reader see (action and description) followed by conversation that touches on or details the action and description.  This is especially true in a discovery novel like this.  This is a discovery novel.  The revelation is, of course, the main characters, but also the plot revelation includes the culture of Freedom.  I know my readers what to know as much as Freedom as Scott does.  For Scott, it is life or death.  For the reader, it is entertainment.  To facilitate knowledge about Freedom, Scott needs to explore and more information.    
More tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:

http://www.ancientlight.com/
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com  

fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline, character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing, information, study, marketing,

Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 354, more Transition to the Rising Action

30 March 2015, Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 354, more Transition to the Rising Action

Announcement: My new novels should be available from any webseller or can be ordered from any brick and mortar bookstore.  Information can be found at www.ancientlight.com.  Check out my novels--I think you'll really enjoy them.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

The four plus one basic rules I employ when writing:

1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

All novels have five discrete parts:
1.  The initial scene (the beginning)
2.  The rising action
3.  The climax
4.  The falling action
5.  The dénouement

The theme statement of my 25th novel, working title, Escape, is this: a girl in a fascist island nation will do anything to escape--a young cargo shuttle pilot not following the rules crashes on the island.

Here is the cover proposal for Lilly: Enchantment and the Computer.  Lilly is my 24th novel.

Cover Proposal

The most important scene in any novel is the initial scene, but eventually, you have to move to the rising action.  I'm writing about the transition from the initial scene to the rising action of my newest novel, "Escape."  Escape is the working title.  I'll decide on the actual proposed title when I finish the novel.  I'm at the eighteenth chapter right now.  That means I've written about 360 pages.

Let's review my guidelines for conversation.

1.  Cultural norms (greeting, introduction, small talk, big talk)
2.  Logical response (characters must respond to each other in the conversation)
3.  ID the speaker
4.  Show us the picture of the conversation
5.  Use contractions (most of the time)
6.  What are you trying to say?
7.  What is unsaid in the conversation?
8.  Build the tone of the conversation.
9.  Show don't tell.
10.  Keep proper names to a minimum.

I'm an advocate of using the/a scene input/output method to drive the rising action--in fact, to write any novel.  I'll describe this technique (and style) again if you are new to my blog or you missed it before. 

Every scene has an input and an output.  The input of the initial scene is not material to understanding the scene.  In other words, the author begins writing without a previous input to the scene.  The presumed input is everything that happened prior to the scene.  For example, and this is a very specific example, in Escape, the presumed input is that Reb (the protagonist) was born, raised, and lived as a Citizen on the island of Freedom.  Also, Scott was born, raised, and lived as a citizen of New Greece and flies shuttles.  She (Reb) is walking home, and Scott is flying over Reb's island.  This is all input, and only a tiny piece of the input.  The novel begins with this presumed input.

In the initial scene, we get scene setting for Reb and scene setting for Scott.  Reb is walking home, and Scott is flying a cargo shuttle over Freedom.  She is watching the shuttle.  The engine fails, and Scott makes an emergency landing on Freedom.  Reb happens to be there.  She agrees to help him if he will help her escape Freedom.  The output of the scene is that Reb leads Scott away from his shuttle to safety.  Now, this must be very clear--the author does not provide much of (if any) of the presumed input to the initial scene.  Any previous information is part of the revelation of the characters in the novel.  However, from now on, the author's job is to show the revelation of the plot and the characters.  This is the main job of the author.  So, with the output that Reb is leading Scott away from the cargo shuttle and the people of Freedom who might hurt or help him, we advance the plot to the next scene.

The input for the next scene is Reb leading Scott away to a place of safety.             

More tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:

http://www.ancientlight.com/
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com  

fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline, character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing, information, study, marketing,

Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 353, Transition to the Rising Action

29 March 2015, Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 353, Transition to the Rising Action

Announcement: My new novels should be available from any webseller or can be ordered from any brick and mortar bookstore.  Information can be found at www.ancientlight.com.  Check out my novels--I think you'll really enjoy them.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

The four plus one basic rules I employ when writing:

1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

All novels have five discrete parts:
1.  The initial scene (the beginning)
2.  The rising action
3.  The climax
4.  The falling action
5.  The dénouement

The theme statement of my 25th novel, working title, Escape, is this: a girl in a fascist island nation will do anything to escape--a young cargo shuttle pilot not following the rules crashes on the island.

Here is the cover proposal for Lilly: Enchantment and the Computer.  Lilly is my 24th novel.

Cover Proposal

The most important scene in any novel is the initial scene, but eventually, you have to move to the rising action.  I'm writing about the transition from the initial scene to the rising action of my newest novel, "Escape."  Escape is the working title.  I'll decide on the proposed title when I finish the novel.  I'm at the eighteenth chapter right now.  That means I've written about 360 pages.

Let's review my guidelines for conversation.

1.  Cultural norms (greeting, introduction, small talk, big talk)
2.  Logical response (characters must respond to each other in the conversation)
3.  ID the speaker
4.  Show us the picture of the conversation
5.  Use contractions (most of the time)
6.  What are you trying to say?
7.  What is unsaid in the conversation?
8.  Build the tone of the conversation.
9.  Show don't tell.
10.  Keep proper names to a minimum.

I left up the rules for writing good conversation just as a reminder, but I'm moving on to the transition from the initial scene to the rising action.  Most of any novel is in the rising action.  Although the initial scene gets my blood moving, the rising action is the part of the novel I absolutely love.  The initial scene just is, the climax is the culmination of everything, but the rising action is the setup for the climax.  The rising action is where the author places the puzzle pieces that at the climax form the Davinci.  The rising action is where the reader gets to know and love the protagonist and the protagonist's helper.  The rising action is where the reader feels the pain, suffering, and success of the characters.  The rising action is the journey while the climax is the end of the journey.

A journey implies you have a destination (the climax), a beginning (the initial scene), and a plan to get from the beginning to the destination.  Since I write in scenes, my plan is to write scenes that move my characters from the initial scene to the climax.  I directly manage this through scene input to scene output.  My plans are very general.  Let's specifically discuss Escape.  The initial scene is the force landing on the island and the meeting of Rebeca and Scott Phillips.  The climax is their escape (or grand failure).  At the climax, they could both escape, both die trying, one or the other die, or be captured and tortured by the Party.  There are many options.  The point is to move the ball from the initial scene to the climax.         

More tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:

http://www.ancientlight.com/
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com  

fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline, character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing, information, study, marketing,

A New Novel, Part 183 Who's There?

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.



Aksinya learned Natalya had slept with Ernst.  She forced Ernst out of her house and she beat Natalya with a poker until she was bloody.  That was the climax of the novel.  Now, the aftermath...

Sister Margarethe knelt beside Natalya and hesitantly touched her. She glanced up at Aksinya, “What have you done? What have you done, Countess?” Tears streaked Sister Margarethe’s face. She cried out again, “Sister Rita.” She screamed, “Sister Rita, Sister Tria, come help me.” The novice sisters ran to the room, and halted in the opening of the parlor. They glanced at Aksinya and at Natalya’s silent body beside Sister Margarethe. Their eyes widened, and they trembled. Aksinya, still filled with rage, rushed at them, and they scattered screaming.

Aksinya ran into the foyer and to the outer door. She tugged at the handle. It wouldn’t open at first. She screamed and ripped it open. She ran out into the freezing night. Behind her, she heard nothing but sobs. She knew nothing but cries, but these were no longer hers. They were the cries of the nuns who knelt beside the broken and bleeding Lady Natalya.

In the street, the cheerful sounds of the Golden Adler Gasthaus came to Aksinya and mocked her. She ran in the opposite direction. She ran, and she ran as though the devils of hell pursued her. She had every reason to believe they did.

After a while, Aksinya slowed and stumbled on the cobblestones. A carriage rushed by and almost struck her. She fell to the side and cowered against the wall of a building. She pressed her burning body against the cold stone, and crept along beside it. After a few steps, Aksinya began to run again and fell. The cobbles bruised her hands. When she raised them in the circle of gaslight near her, they were covered with blood, but she couldn’t tell if the blood was hers or Natalya’s. Aksinya let out another anguished cry and pressed against the wall. She stood and ran again. She ran until her breath was gone. She ran until she could not run any further. Her throat was hoarse. Her body ached. She couldn’t think at all. She had just seen everything in her life, every thing that loved her and that she might have loved melt away to nothingness. She had discarded Ernst. She had killed Natalya. She had threatened and cursed Sister Margarethe. She had thrown away God. There was nothing for her now. She had nothing at all now.

The darkness enveloped her and she fell again. The cold ground was hard against her burning cheeks. She lay there panting for a long time. Then before her, a door creaked open. Light streamed through the opening. Aksinya raised her face from the cobbles. A voice called out in the darkness, “Who’s there? Who is it?”

None of this should be a real surprise although I hope it surprises you.  I hope it caught you off guard, but then afterward you could tell yourself--ah, I saw this coming.  I hope with Aksinya's actions and reactions, you had an ah ha moment, an epiphany just like Aksinya should soon have.  It is the realization that in an instant Aksinya herself threw away everything that was important in her life.  We will find she has lost much more than we or she can imagine.  I've already placed all the clues, and that is the point of this commentary now.  If you look back at the buildup to this point (the rising action), none of what happened should be a great surprise.  The foreshadowing, the analogies, the metaphors, the words of the characters themselves led us here.  That is why I say, the story, plot, and theme all come together at the climax.  This is where the intersecting elements of all the previous scenes, all the previous plot (the scenes together), and the theme (overarching point and idea in the novel) all led us--there wasn't any other place they could lead us.
 
Is Natalya dead?  She certainly appears dead.  Aksinya thinks only of escape.  In a rational moment, she should know there is no escape for her.  She can't escape the demon and she can't escape the results of her actions.  Still, she scatters the novice nuns, and she rushes to the door.  She is like an animal.  She has fought and only seeks now to flee.  Rage drives her.  Rage and something else.  You can guess what it is.  I don't hold you in suspense long.
 
Aksinya rushes into the freezing night.  Behind her are cries of anguish, but not from the lips of Natalya.  Is Natalya dead--that is the implied question in the next reminder.
 
In the street to the right, remember, is the Golden Adler Gasthaus.  That was the scene of the attempted rape of Sister Margarethe and Natalya.  I must remind you of that with the name of the place.  Aksinya remembers that incident and turns the opposite direction.  She runs as though pursued by the devils of hell.  An apt description at this point. 
 
I give some descriptive details about her run.  This is to make it seem as long to the reader as it does to Aksinya.  All the description is intended to make you feel what she feels: shame, anger, rage, cold, fear.  She is running for her life away from all the pain and suffering she caused--yet, she can't run away from what she is or what she did.  The blood on her hands reminds you and her of that.  Then I do make the point.  I let you into Aksinya's thoughts using a writing technique.  I don't actually tell you what she is thinking.  Look at the method: Her throat was hoarse. Her body ached. She couldn’t think at all. She had just seen everything in her life, every thing that loved her and that she might have loved melt away to nothingness. She had discarded Ernst. She had killed Natalya. She had threatened and cursed Sister Margarethe. She had thrown away God. There was nothing for her now. She had nothing at all now.
 
In this short description, I add a conclusion I don't want you to miss.  I give it, not as her thoughts, but rather as a synopsis of what happened at the house.  I let you infer that it is what Aksinya is thinking.  Then, more metaphor to drive the point home: The darkness enveloped her and she fell again.  The darkness has enveloped Aksinya.  She has literally and figuratively reached the end of her rope.  Asmodeus tempted Aksinya and her closest friends to cause them to betray her and her to betray them.  What will she do and what will happen to her.  The end of this piece: Then before her, a door creaked open. Light streamed through the opening. Aksinya raised her face from the cobbles. A voice called out in the darkness, “Who’s there? Who is it?”
 
If you go back to the previous scenes in the novel, you can almost guess where she is.  I used much description and much foreshadowing to tell you what lies down the road from Aksinya's house.  This is not a deus ex machina, and I will have much to comment on tomorrow to show you how you set up such scenes to make the end of such a climax fit within the story, plot, and theme.  Also, I want to point out that this novel of all mine has the longest falling action to lead to the dénouement.  This novel calls for this early climax.  This point leads directly to the falling action.  You might guess what will happen next--then again, I hope you are somewhat surprised.