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Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts

Thursday, May 26, 2011

A New Novel, Part 234 She May Be Dying

26 May 2011, A New Novel, Part 234 She May Be Dying


For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is locked in a cold dark cell under the residence of the Cardinal of Wien.  Aksinya knows Asmodeus will return to torment her.  Unless she can put crosses on her dress and blankets, he will take them from her.  She uses her own blood to draw crosses on them.  Unfortunately, she can't stop the blood once she started it...

Frau Mauer screamed and jumped up.  Aksinya’s eyes closed and she slowly lay on the bench.  The release of the pressure on her vein let the drip become a slow stream.  Frau Mauer screamed again and ran toward the kitchen. 
Frau Mauer grabbed Frau Becker’s arm, “The sorceress has committed suicide.  She is bleeding everywhere.”
Frau Becker’s face clouded and her eye twitched, “Get the Secretary, immediately.”
“What will you do?”
“Just get the secretary.”
Frau Mauer nodded vigorously and ran off. 
Frau Becker grabbed the kitchen axe from the wood pile and ran to the corridor that held Aksinya’s cell.  The guards didn’t attempt to stop her.  She glanced at Aksinya and the growing pool of blood and chopped at the lock on the door.  The old wood splintered satisfactorily under the axe and the door swung open.  Frau Mauer grabbed Aksinya’s wrist and immediately the flow of blood stopped.
Secretary Schwab followed by Otto stopped at the entrance to the cell.  Frau Mauer didn’t wait for them to say anything, she yelled at them, “Get the doctor now.  I’ve stopped the blood, but she may be dying.”
They almost trampled Frau Mauer as she hobbled down the corridor toward them.

This scene is very straightforward.  The results of Aksinya's experiment are not good.  She achieved the markings she wanted, but she couldn't stop the flow of blood.  The demon couldn't imagine this result--could he.  Whether he did or not, the result will be the same.  It appears that Aksinya has tried to commit suicide.  Although Frau Becker stopped the blood, what will the result be for Aksinya.  It seems that she is slowly falling deeper and deeper in to a place that is impossible to recover from.  Sad since she had the spiritual strength to face down the demon and pronounce her freedom from him.  We see that she is not free from the demon.  She has placed her trust in the right place, but Aksinya's problem is like all of ours.  Do you remember Paul's great cry of dismay?  "I do those things I don't wish to do and not those I know I should do."  Still, can there be hope for Aksinya.  If there is hope for her, perhaps there is hope for any of us.  Tomorrow, she wakes. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A New Novel, Part 233 I Might Need Some Help

25 May 2011, A New Novel, Part 233 I Might Need Some Help

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is locked in a cold dark cell under the residence of the Cardinal of Wien.  Last night, Aksinya almost died of exposure because the demon took her dress.  Now, she is back in her cell with warm blankets, but unless she can mark them with crosses, the demon could take them away...

Aksinya sat back and pouted.  She felt much better, but she knew that wouldn’t last long if the demon returned and took her dress and the blankets from her again.  She only knew one way to fight Asmodeus.  She thought for a while about how she might put crosses on her clothing and the wonderfully warm blankets.  After a long time, there was only one thing she thought she could use.  Under the cover of the blankets, she began to prick at her hand with a sharp point of her rosary.  After a few minutes she drew some blood and made a couple of satisfactory crosses on the hem of her dress.  At that point, she couldn’t get much more blood without going deeper into her hand than she wanted to.  She thought for a while then began to prick at the large vein at the side of her wrist. 
She cut through and gave a slight gasp.  She glanced up to see if Frau Mauer heard her.  The old woman didn’t stop sewing.  Aksinya was surprised at the amount of blood the little nick drew.  With blood, she marked the collar and sleeves of her dress.  Then quickly put crosses at the corners of the woolen blankets.  When she was finished, she held the place on her wrist she nicked, but it wouldn’t stop bleeding.  She had nothing to use as a bandage, and she was becoming a little faint.
Since she had marked everything, she thought it was safe to say something to the Frau.  Aksinya cleared her throat and tried to speak.  She couldn’t say anything at first and her sight began to dim.  Finally, she forced out, “Frau Mauer.”
The old woman didn’t turn, “I’ll not give you any thread or a needle.  You needn’t ask again.”
“Frau Mauer, I don’t need them anymore, but I might need some help.”
Frau Mauer leaned over and clucked her tongue.  She turned toward Aksinya.  Aksinya held out her arm.  A bright drip of blood ran down her hand and dropped to the stone floor.  It spattered into a growing puddle of blood on the ground.
Frau Mauer screamed and jumped up.  Aksinya’s eyes closed and she slowly lay on the bench.  The release of the pressure on her vein let the drip become a slow stream.  Frau Mauer screamed again and ran toward the kitchen.

Aksinya moves from one problem to the next.  Do you see how the demon is still driving her even when he isn't present.  There is a great allegory in this.  You do recognize that Aksinya's actions are literally the only thing she can do.  If she does not make crosses, the demon will take her dress again, and she will suffer greatly.  She choses to use her own blood to protect herself.  As a side note, Aksinya is selfish in this, just as all of us are selfish.  She doesn't want pain and suffering.  She doesn't want the demon to take her clothing and blankets.  She doesn't want to be cold.

Unfortunately Aksinya makes a slight error.  In her hurry to find some blood, she pricks too large a vein and she can't stop the flow of blood.  I use some fun advanced writing techniques to show you what is happening.  Plus, I interject a little humor. 

Remember, Aksinya is cold.  She is undernourished.  She has only blankets and thin clothing.  Although she isn't bleeding very much--it is enough to make a difference.  Frau Mauer thinks Aksinya has tried to commit suicide.  Do you imagine this might be part of the demon's plan?  Suicide is an unforgivable sin for the Catholic Church.  Aksinya's actions will appear to be a suicide attempt--or success.  Tomorrow, more help?