06 November 2026, Writing - part xxxx589 The Novel, Design and Pieces, Style Elements and Concrete Elements, Presentation
Announcement: I
still need a new publisher. However, I’ve taken the step to republish my
previously published novels. I’m starting with Centurion, and
we’ll see from there. Since previously published novels have little
chance of publication in the market (unless they are huge best sellers), I
might as well get those older novels back out. I’m going through Amazon
Publishing, and I’ll pass the information on to you.
Introduction: I wrote the
novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel
and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that
included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other
general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the
metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the
way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire
novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.
I’m using this novel as
an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel
published. I’ll keep you informed along the way.
Today’s Blog: To see the steps in
the publication process, visit my writing websites http://www.sisteroflight.com/.
The four plus two basic
rules I employ when writing:
1. Don’t confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don’t show (or tell) everything.
4a. Show what can be
seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted on the stage of the novel.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.
6. The initial scene is the most important scene.
These are the steps I use to write a novel
including the five discrete parts of a novel:
1. Design the initial scene
2. Develop a theme statement
(initial setting, protagonist, protagonist’s helper or antagonist, action
statement)
a. Research as required
b. Develop the initial
setting
c. Develop the characters
d. Identify the telic flaw
(internal and external)
3. Write the initial scene
(identify the output: implied setting, implied characters, implied action
movement)
4. Write the next scene(s)
to the climax (rising action)
5. Write the climax scene
6. Write the falling action
scene(s)
7. Write the dénouement
scene
I finished writing my 31st novel,
working title, Cassandra, potential title Cassandra:
Enchantment and the Warriors. The theme statement is: Deirdre and
Sorcha are redirected to French finishing school where they discover difficult
mysteries, people, and events.
I finished writing my 34th novel
(actually my 32nd completed novel), Seoirse,
potential title Seoirse: Enchantment and the Assignment. The
theme statement is: Seoirse is assigned to be Rose’s protector and helper at
Monmouth while Rose deals with five goddesses and schoolwork; unfortunately,
Seoirse has fallen in love with Rose.
Here is the cover
proposal for the third edition of Centurion:
|
Cover Proposal |
The most important scene
in any novel is the initial scene, but eventually, you have to move to the
rising action. I am continuing to write on my 30th novel,
working title Red Sonja. I finished my 29th novel,
working title Detective. I finished writing number 31,
working title Cassandra: Enchantment and the Warrior. I just
finished my 32nd novel and 33rd novel: Rose:
Enchantment and the Flower, and Seoirse: Enchantment and the
Assignment.
How to begin a novel. Number one thought,
we need an entertaining idea. I usually encapsulate such an idea with a
theme statement. Since I’m writing a new novel, we need a new theme
statement. Here is an initial cut.
For novel 30: Red Sonja, a Soviet spy,
infiltrates the X-plane programs at Edwards AFB as a test pilot’s
administrative clerk, learns about freedom, and is redeemed.
For Novel 32: Shiggy Tash finds a lost girl
in the isolated Scottish safe house her organization gives her for her latest
assignment: Rose Craigie has nothing, is alone, and needs someone or something
to rescue and acknowledge her as a human being.
For novel 33, Book girl:
Siobhàn Shaw is Morven McLean’s savior—they are both attending Kilgraston
School in Scotland when Morven loses everything, her wealth, position, and
friends, and Siobhàn Shaw is the only one left to befriend and help her
discover the one thing that might save Morven’s family and existence.
For novel 34: Seoirse is assigned to
be Rose’s protector and helper at Monmouth while Rose deals with five goddesses
and schoolwork; unfortunately, Seoirse has fallen in love with Rose.
For novel 35: Eoghan, a Scottish National
Park Authority Ranger, while handing a supernatural problem in Loch Lomond and
The Trossachs National Park discovers the crypt of Aine and accidentally
releases her into the world; Eoghan wants more from the world and Aine desires
a new life and perhaps love.
Here
is the scene development outline:
1.
Scene input (comes from the previous scene output or is an initial scene)
2.
Write the scene setting (place, time, stuff, and characters)
3.
Imagine the output, creative elements, plot, telic flaw resolution (climax) and
develop the tension and release.
4.
Write the scene using the output and creative elements to build the tension.
5.
Write the release
6.
Write the kicker
Today: Let me tell you a little about writing. Writing
isn’t so much a hobby, a career, or a pastime. Writing is a habit and an
obsession. We who love to write love to write.
I want to start with these definitions as
a premise for writing.
1. Write to entertain
2. Write using the
common outline for a novel
3. Develop a telic flaw,
a protagonist, an antagonist, and plan to resolve the telic flaw.
4. Start with an initial
scene.
5. Develop and define a
modern protagonist: you get a telic flaw, a potential protagonist’s helper, and
a potential initial scene from the development.
6. Write to reveal the
protagonist.
And here is the scene:
1. Scene input (comes from the previous
scene output or is an initial scene)
2. Write the scene setting (place, time,
stuff, and characters)
3. Imagine the output, creative elements,
plot, telic flaw resolution (climax) and develop the tension and release.
4. Write the scene using the output and
creative elements to build the tension.
5. Write the release
6. Write the kicker
I finished my latest novel number
33, Book girl: Siobhàn Shaw is Morven McLean’s savior—they
are both attending Kilgraston School in Scotland when Morven loses everything,
her wealth, position, and friends, and Siobhàn Shaw is the only one left to
befriend and help her discover the one thing that might save Morven’s family
and existence.
I basically spurned the idea of the five
elements of writing and provided you my only element of writing. My outline of the elements of writing looks
like this:
1. Protagonist
a. Telic flaw
b. Antagonist
The rest is the scene. I guess I could write the real elements of
writing like this:
1. Protagonist
a. Telic flaw
b. Antagonist
c. Scene
Or perhaps:
1. Protagonist
a. Telic flaw
b. Antagonist
2. Scene
The problem with this is that the scene is
like the so-called elements of fiction.
They really aren’t elements, they are derivatives. The only real element is the protagonist and
everything comes out of the protagonist.
Scenes are indeed elements of fiction, but they are also derivatives of
the fact that fiction is being written.
The only real and specific element is the protagonist. I’ll try to explain this little mental point
with the outline of the scene:
1.
Scene input (comes from the previous scene output or is an initial scene)
2.
Write the scene setting (place, time, stuff, and characters)
3.
Imagine the output, creative elements, plot, telic flaw resolution (climax) and
develop the tension and release.
4.
Write the scene using the output and creative elements to build the tension.
5.
Write the release
6.
Write the kicker
Perhaps this outline doesn’t look like it
resolves the problem of how the protagonist integrates and develops everything
in the novel. Let me show you.
The protagonist defines the telic
flaw. Or a better way of writing this is
to explain that the telic flaw comes with the protagonist. I don’t care what protagonist you a writing
about or thinking about—the telic flaw proceeds from the protagonist. Just look at Pride and Prejudice. The protagonist’s pride causes the entire
incident which is the telic flaw. I’ll
repeat, the telic flaw is not necessarily a flaw in the protagonist. It is a flaw in the world of the protagonist,
but in the case of Pride and Prejudice, the telic flaw is also advanced
as a flaw in the protagonist. That’s
okay and that’s also a type of technique and plot presentation in a novel.
To be clear, I’m not in favor of the
modern idea of presenting the telic flaw as a flaw or an internal problem of
the protagonist. This is the idea that,
for me and many, ruined Harry Potty.
Suddenly, in the midst of the novels, Harry Potty’s problems began to
overbear the evil of Voldermort, and the reader began to wonder who was the
antagonist. I consider this to be a
horrible way of advancing a novel and resolving the telic flaw. It’s completely okay to have the protagonist
question and even cause some of his or her own difficulties—it is a terrible
fault in the writing for the protagonist to begin to become ugly and disliked
in the process.
I’ll look back at the idea of the Romantic
protagonist. I’m not of the complete
opinion that the protagonist necessarily needs to be loved by the reader. You can certainly have an unlovable
protagonist, but in my contemplation of my favorite novels, I’ve discovered
that especially with the Romantic protagonist (modern protagonists), they are
loved and lovable, not necessarily because of who they are, but rather because
of what they do. That is also the
definition of love—what you do, not who you are.
Let me point out that the main
characteristic of the Romantic or modern protagonist is introspection. One of the other required characteristics is
a skill that the protagonist develops outside of normal human expectations. This skill allows them to resolve the telic
flaw. All of these come out of the
protagonist. Why do readers love the
Romantic protagonist so much—it’s because they see in themselves the potential
skill that they might develop under the same circumstances. They might never really achieve like the
protagonist does, but the reader believes in it and they believe in the
protagonist. That’s what they love and
why they love the protagonist. No matter
what the skill is, the effort and dedication to that development results in the
reader’s great admiration (another word for love, ha ha) for the protagonist.
From the scene outline, I can show you how
the protagonist provides all the so-called elements. In other words, again for the scene, the
protagonist provides all the elements and the rest is style. I don’t like really writing much about style,
but I’ll get to the easy stuff and eventually the hard stuff. I’ll try to give examples or mention sources
too.
The scene from the protagonist is next.
Yes, I’m back to scenes. I could start with the initial scene—that is
the most important and the scene that sets the novel (if it doesn’t you have
more problems than just scenes). What I
will do is start with the protagonist and define the scene, and show exactly
what we get from the protagonist. I’ll
also explain how the style of the scene is important, but not completely
related to the scene or novel as much as it is to the protagonist.
Starting with the protagonist. With a protagonist we have this—I repeat:
1.
Protagonist
a. Telic flaw
b. Antagonist
Yes, the protagonist comes with a telic
flaw and the antagonist comes out of the telic flaw. So then the scene:
1.
Scene input (comes from the previous scene output or is an initial scene)
2.
Write the scene setting (place, time, stuff, and characters)
3.
Imagine the output, creative elements, plot, telic flaw resolution (climax) and
develop the tension and release.
4.
Write the scene using the output and creative elements to build the tension.
5.
Write the release
6. Write the kicker
Scenes are the basis for any novel or other
fiction. Scenes define the novel and
they compose the novel. They are the
largest full unit of writing in the composition of the novel. The novel looks like this:
1. The
initial scene
2. The
rising action scenes
3. The
climax scene
4. The
falling action scene(s)
5. The
dénouement scene(s)
There is a single initial scene. This scene starts, defines, and sets up the
entire novel. This is the critical scene. Following the initial scene are the rising
action scenes. These compromise about forty
to sixty or so scenes that drive the novel toward the climax. The climax is a single scene that resolves
the telic flaw of the novel. This is an
important scene but not as important as the initial scene. I’ll eventually get to that. The falling action scenes complete the
novel. I write scenes, but this is
usually a single scene. The final, dénouement
scene wraps up the novel and provides a completion to the whole. Notice the outline for the novel is very
similar in some ways to the scene outline.
Write these scenes, and you have a novel. What makes a novel a novel? Is it the scenes, the characters, the
setting, the plots, the telic flaw, the climax…? What is a novel? My simplistic and basic response, is this,
the novel is the revelation of the protagonist.
Having written that—there are novels with
multiple protagonists. I’m not in favor
of this, but it happens and has been accomplished. This is not a common novel style or
type. I’ve heard, but not read about
novels that are based in the setting.
Actually, I do think I may have read one or two, but usually even a
setting based novel devolves into some character, which then is the
protagonist. There are different styles
of novels, but unless you are a real sadist, a student of literature, or a well
read reader and writer, you may never have encountered them. I’ve gone over the different styles before,
but I won’t do it again. They are
worthless to our discussion because they are not entertaining, to me, nor
exciting, to me. If you are really
interested in these odd novel styles, I encourage you to study and write one—if
not for history, then for your own entertainment. As I wrote, they don’t entertain me and they
don’t excite me. I am a one hundred
percent advocate for all fiction writing to be entertaining and exciting. If it isn’t, it’s not worth my time or
money. This is usually the opinion of
most publishers. Certainly, I want all
publishers to publish fiction that is entertaining and exciting, unfortunately
in this modern world, they publish a lot of drivel not based on entertainment
or excitement, but on their personal and collective opinions of the world. They might even hate the work, but they
insist on foisting it on us. Among the
many landmines of worthless novels, there are a few worth reading. My author friend does just that. I’m not as willing to invest my time in any
potential drivel, so I miss some of the good.
I’m lucky he and my wife do read with frequency many of the works I’d
never pick up. I also end up reading
works they might never read either. Then
what I write are works that I love to read and love to write. To me they are entertaining and
exciting. I write them because many
aren’t doing the same.
I had a publisher who loved my works and I
thought they would publish them all and at least give me a path into more
potential publishing and publishers.
Unfortunately, my publisher went down and with that my future
potential. I’m still looking for a
publisher, but as I noted, publishers, in general aren’t looking for the
entertaining and the exciting—they do want the next bestseller, but I think they
are many times willing to compromise business to achieve monotonous
commonality. You see a spark every now
and then, but with the million books published every year, many are not worth
reading or publishing, but they still are.
This is all to explain that your best
chance of publication is to follow the normal style for novels. I call it the classic style and I gave you
the outline and explanation above. You
can go for a different style, but I don’t find those types of novels worth
reading. Few do, that’s why they are so
uncommon. Most are relegated to the back
shelves and only come out for a very good literature class.
Here is today’s conclusion. First, the novel is the revelation of the
protagonist. I will explain this in
greater detail. Second, the classic
novel is composed of the scenes in the order I outlined: initial, rising
action, climax, falling action, and dénouement.
This is the basis for most all bestsellers and common (normal)
novels. Third, the scene is the base
element of the novel. With that
understood, we can move forward with developing the scene. As I noted, everything comes out of the
protagonist. That’s next.
Look again at the scene outline:
1.
Scene input (comes from the previous scene output or is an initial scene)
2.
Write the scene setting (place, time, stuff, and characters)
3.
Imagine the output, creative elements, plot, telic flaw resolution (climax) and
develop the tension and release.
4.
Write the scene using the output and creative elements to build the tension.
5.
Write the release
6. Write the kicker
Let’s presume we already have a
protagonist. That means we also have a
telic flaw and an antagonist. If you
don’t, you have another problem entirely.
If your protagonist doesn’t come with a telic flaw and an antagonist,
your problem is the protagonist. No
matter what you do, you will not be able to write a novel or anything else with
that kind of protagonist. They are
worthless as a character and the lead for a novel—dump them and write up a
protagonist who can actually be a protagonist.
If you think I’m wrong on this, just try it—I double darn dare you. Now to the easy stuff.
The protagonist has a lot of baggage. All of this is just natural to existence in
the world. For example, the setting of
the novel. What is the setting of the
protagonist? The setting of the
protagonist either historically or immediately is the current setting of the
novel. For example, if your protagonist
is Scottish, the setting is likely Scotland.
As the author, you simply need to define and refine the setting
according to the history of the protagonist.
This is basic and important—it’s just research.
This applies to all the details of the
protagonist. I could give you the list
again, I won’t. In my list, I have all
the details about the protagonist that I want to define before I write. There are even more that I put in my notes,
but the point is to define the protagonist to the point where you, the author
can define the main points of the novel.
As I wrote, the telic flaw and the antagonist come along with the
protagonist. The rest of the stuff does
too.
I mentioned the setting. The setting is always a part of the
protagonist’s life and history. For
example, they might be Scottish from Scotland, but if they traveled to the USA
or to some other nation, the setting will follow and change with them. Personally, I’m not in favor of messing
around with the protagonist too much unless it’s important to the protagonist
and the novel. For example, the skills
and skill sets of the protagonist might be of significance in the novel. If this is true, then movement and a history
of travel and movement might be really important. So, the protagonist might need certain
language skills. If this is true, you
need to give them the life and opportunity to develop those skills. Sometimes these skills can be developed in
their own setting or place. For example,
I have some characters who learned Scottish Gaelic because they were in
Scotland. They also knew English, and
there are other similar languages from ancient Scottland.
There is more to this. I’ll get there.
I wrote already, there are style elements
for writing and there are concrete elements of writing. The style elements are those the author
choses based on how he or she wishes to write.
The concrete elements are those that can never be separated from the
fiction. I’ve given you the concrete
elements over and over. Here there are
again:
1. Protagonist
a. Telic flaw
b. Antagonist
You cannot write a successful piece of
fiction of any kind without the protagonist and the resulting telic flaw and
antagonist. It is impossible. As I also wrote, all the other concrete
elements for the writing comes out of the protagonist. What are these other concrete elements? Most simply they are:
1. Place
2. Time
3. Stuff
4. Characters
This is the setting for the novel and the
scenes specifically. We set scenes. We do not set novels. We write scenes that are brought together cohesively
to form novels. I like and recommend
writing scenes sequentially, but that is another discussion completely and one
we will get to.
I’m really not ready to write about style
elements yet, but I suspect I should mention them and move back to the other
elements that all come from the protagonist.
Never forget, the novel is the revelation of the protagonist.
Style elements are those that are not
necessarily dependent on the protagonist.
They are not concrete elements.
I’ll list them and then explain them:
1. Tense
2. Implied event horizon
3. Person
4. Presentation
5. Point of View (PoV)
6. Literary style
These can make or break a novel, but
generally they will not adversely affect the writing. They can, but the author has great latitude
in choosing and deciding which he or she wants to use in a novel.
The tense is the verb tense. I suggest using the past tense, but people
have written novels in about every tense you can imagine. Normally, the past tense is used with present
tense for dialogue, but you can get away with very different tense usage. Be aware.
The use of anything other than the past tense with present tense for
dialogue is very much an experimental novel—they just aren’t common, so I would
recommend being very careful about expanding too far in tense.
You must be consistent what ever you
do. Lack of consistency in any style
element (or concrete element) has the strong potential to knock your readers
out of the suspension of disbelief which will ruin your writing. In all style elements consistency is king. By the way, we usually want a simple tense
and that’s why the past tense is so useful.
Past tense is one of the least wordy tenses in English. In fact, the use of the perfect tense and the
present participle are both considered wordy and sometimes difficult for
readers to manage. Most authors
recommend only using these when necessary and to move back to past tense as
soon as possible. The reason is
wordiness which tends to confuse and irritate your readers. An irritated reader will fall out of the
suspension of disbelief faster than a humming bird at a feeder. Ha ha, a little metaphor there. That’s a literary style and a recommended
style usage. We’ll get to that, but I’ll
mention the second style element, next.
Implied event horizon means the times your
novel implies based on the setting and the writing. The setting sets the actual event horizon and
is a concrete element in the writing.
For example, if you are writing about the way past, the setting is some
part of the ancient world. If you move
into some portion of the past, you are in a historical setting. When you go to the modern world or the
current world, you have theoretically written a novel in the present. Let me point out a novel written in 1930
about the present is a historical novel today.
Dickens wrote for his present times, mostly, but all of his novels are
historically based novels. This makes
for some interesting literary analysis.
Then we move to the future novels.
We call these science fiction, usually, but they aren’t all science
fiction.
Think about this, 1984 was written
as a science fiction novel or at least a novel about the future. It was written in the past tense, third
person, and narrative action style. The
novel implied and specified the future as it’s setting, but today, we are almost
50 years past that future. What does
this mean? That’s really simple, we have
a future novel that now represents the historical as well as a potential
future. Overcome science fiction is the
stuff of literature and legends. It’s an
interesting conundrum. Then there are
true novels with a future implied event horizon.
Let me explain something every author
needs to understand. The event horizon
is the time of the setting of your novel.
I write some novels with an event horizon in the future. I do so with the express understanding that
the world may be a little different than I express in the novels, but I can
assure you they are close. I also write
many novels in the past that is as either contemporary history or modern
history with the specific understanding of their event horizon. I also write true science fiction. What’s that?
True science fiction is fiction written
using interpolations and extrapolations of technology and potential history
with the expectation that the concepts and the ideas will be part of some
future. Usually, I set my science
fiction far into the future and I do truly make extrapolations of potential
technology. As time passes, we know even
our best attempts at science fiction will be overcome by future events and
history. Science fiction from the
beginning of the 20th Century sure looks quaint to us today. Science fiction from the beginning of the 21st
Century will look just as quaint in time.
However, there are some very interesting novels which have an implied
future event horizon but writing with a present world setting.
Classics in this style are Ayn Rand’s
novels as well as a few contemporary writers.
To be specific, these are novels written mainly in the past tense,
present setting, third person, but implying some future without any real
expression of science fiction expression.
1984 could be classified in this way, but the reason it isn’t is
that it gives the impression of some future time beyond the now. The now was the end of World War Two with the
potential future that upheaval might have eventually caused. The Cold War is represented as well although
it was still on the future event horizon.
What is the point of the implied event
horizon? This is an elective feature of
your novel. The setting is the concrete
element, the implied event horizon is the elective or stylistic element. Usually, we match the setting to the implied
event horizon, but you can write a novel in the present that implies the future
of the past. This also drives another
potential element of style—that is the presentation.
I guess I’m hitting a little of this
early. I’ll just mention it for now and
then get to it later. Presentation is
the way I present the story or telic flaw resolution in the novel. Generally, there is the oldest presentation
style which is journalistic—that is the writer presents the material as if he
or she was keeping a journal or diary of the events. You can see immediately, the journalistic presentation
style is the present implying the past and expressing the past as presented in
the journal. This is just one of the
main styles of presentation. You can see
that the choice of the journalistic presentation style affects the real and
implied event horizon. There is more,
but I’ll stop here and move to the person, next.
Person is a style element—it is not a
concrete element. As an author, we can
choose to write in the first, second, or third person. In my opinion, the person of the writing is
determined in some degree by the protagonist.
I suggest always using the third person past tense for your novels, but
there are potentially certain protagonists who might take a first person past
tense in a novel. I’ll explain the when
and why, but let me address the third person past tense first.
I need to write that the second person is
right out. Using the second person automatically
turns any novel into an experimental text and the chance of publication
basically goes to nearly zero. There are
some novels occasionally published in second person, but they are largely kiddy
books and multi-ending books written for the comic class of readers. You do sometimes see a legitimate novel
written in the second person, but there are no classics and there are no
bestsellers. It’s an experimental class
of novel, and I wouldn’t do it, but that’s just advice.
The third person is the typical type of
writing we see in classics and bestsellers although the first person has come
roaring forward. I’ll compare and
contrast the two and give you enough information to make an informed
choice. For now, just consider the third
person the norm and let’s evaluate when we might consider using the first
person.
In the first place, the first person can
be considered when your protagonist is literally the most important person in
the world of not just the novel, but the extended world of the novel. The reason I write this in this way is that,
of course, the protagonist is the most important person within the context of
the world of the novel, but for the first person to be even part of the
consideration, the protagonist must be the most important being in the extended
universe of the novel. This gets complex. Let me try to
explain. In the age of the Romantic or
modern protagonist, the protagonist is and must be the most
important person in the world of the novel.
The novel revolves around the protagonist and his or her being. They bring the telic flaw and them eventually
resolve the telic flaw and the resolution is completely due to their skills and
abilities. This is good for the third
person and the third person solves some problems for us. The main problem is that the Romantic or
modern protagonist must also be introspective.
Introspective is that we know their mind—however, you can’t tell. Remember, show and don’t tell? As an author, you can’t tell us the mind of
the protagonist, and by the way, writing in the third person helps prevent
telling a lot. On the other hand using
the first person is all about telling.
Here is an example. The novel series I
just finished is called The Ascendence of a Bookworm. It’s a 33 novel series from Japan, and It’s
highly entertaining. I recommend it, not
as a great novel, but as a great story. The
novel was written in the first person from more than one PoV (we haven’t gotten
to PoV yet). I might bring this up in a
little. Now, this novel is really about
a protagonist who is literally the most important being in the universe of the
series. The protagonist starts as a
person of little power but unlimited potential and ends up literally the avatar
of a goddess and the king of the nation.
In this case, the first person can be justified. However, the problem is one of telling. The novel and series is rife with
telling. The author is always, and I
mean always telling you the mind of the protagonist and the current PoV for the
short, scene, or chapter. I find this a lot
of a problem, but the series is a typical YA (Younge Adult) series. YA isn’t written for the most astute or
critically minded. A should point out
that this series is very well done in some ways and in others its missing some
key characteristics of great writing. My
main point is that this is a novel with a legitimate reason for being written
in the first person. I don’t like the telling, but I like the reason for the
first person. I don’t like the PoV
moving from the protagonist to the other characters, and then their
telling. I don’t like telling. Telling ruins a great novel. In fact, the writer of this series even
prepared us with protagonist’s helpers for the novels, but then wasted them
with even more telling.
I must confess that I wrote a novel in the
first person to begin with that moved to the third person as the protagonist
died and the third person as the protagonist died and the novel
continued. Yes, I wrote a somewhat
experimental novel. I will also tell you
it was accepted and published by a regular publisher. The reason I chose for my protagonist and the
novel to start in the first person is because my protagonist literally was the
cause of an intragalactic conflict. She did
and didn’t cause the conflict that engulfed the entire galaxy of the Human
Galactic Empire. That’s why I chose the
first person for her voice. That was the
build up to the climax and telic flaw resolution of The End of Honor. The end character revenged his love Lyral
Neuterra by giving up his honor and losing his position entirely. This way, he prevented the end of the Human
Galactic Empire and protected as many people and planets as possible. There was honor in his actions and that was
the point of the novel. The actions and
the buildup about Lyral Neuterra was the main reason and point of the
novel. That way the reader could see why
her death was so defining and important in being the cause the ultimately the
resolution of the intragalactic war.
That said, I don’t intent to write a novel
in the first person again—not even part of it.
I will explain more about this and many of the problems with the first
person, next.
Yes, Virginia, there are serious problems
with the first person. The first and
least obvious is what I mentioned before.
Most protagonists can’t logically support the first person. The reason for the use of the first person is
that the protagonist is the most important person in the entire universe of the
novel. I think this is harder to justify
than you might imagine. However, look at
Harry Potty or any of the other modern messiah protagonists. The Marvel and DC gods are also this kind of
protagonist, and unfortunately you see them all over Young Adult (YA) and kid’s
literature. All these books about the
gods as protagonists are a bad sign for modern children and humanity. While the average kid can’t real, write, or
figure, they read books about the mystical few who are messiahs and long for
the same. I’m certain they will be
disappointed. That’s the first issue,
but the real problems come with all modern protagonists.
The modern protagonist is the Romantic
protagonist and the Romantic protagonist is all about a couple of basics. Yes, there is an entire list of
characteristics of a really great Romantic protagonist, but you can willow that
list to two primary characteristics: introspection and developed or discovered
skills.
The classical Romantic protagonist has
developed skills while the most recent has discovered skills. I’m not a fan of discovered skills, but it’s
with us. Usually the discovery results
in development which is one of the most powerful points of the Romantic
protagonist. The key area of concern for
the use of the first person is the introspection.
In the past, introspection wasn’t really
much of a thing. Introspection is when
the protagonist or author tells us what is in his or her mind. This was a radical change in writing. In classical writing, the journalistic style
allowed the protagonist to mind barf everything to us. As literature progressed and the style of
writing changed to more narrative and less journalistic, the writers
began to realize that showing and not telling made the best writing. We say show and don’t tell—the reason is
novelists are story showers and not tellers.
Storytellers are greatest when they show the story, that is when they
act it out instead of telling it out.
There is a huge difference between telling and showing. Here’s telling:
Bill and Susan
greeted them with firm handshakes and gentle words.
Here’s showing:
At the corner of the
avenue, Bill and Susan stepped up to Jane and Bob.
Bill waved at them,
“Hullo, well met.” He stuck out his
hand.
Susan put out her
hand to Jane, “Jane, I’m so glad we saw you out this morning.” She gently grasped the younger woman’s
fingers in a tender clasp.
Bod took Bill’s hand
and shook it, “I’d wanted to speak to you both…, and I guess this is an
excellent time.”
Bill didn’t release
his hand right away, “A perfect time, old man.
How about a coffee. We have our
favorite place just down the street.”
And so on.
Notice, storytelling
is short, terse, and doesn’t give you any of the action or the description that
showing does. Plus storyshowing is longer
and more involved. However, I hope you
can see just how great showing is compared to telling. When you find yourself telling, you need to
rewrite to show and not tell. That’s my
recommendation. In fact, extra short
novels are caused by two main problems: not enough description and not enough
showing. That’s a side freebie. Now back to the problems of
telling. Here’s some more telling:
Jack contemplated what he should do. His mind was in a quandary. He thought, should I force Tina to reveal
her sources, or should I just wait for her to betray us?
Mind reading that’s cool right. Usually, we put mindreading or thoughts in
italics to show that the words are not spoken.
This is introspection. This is
also pure telling. Here’s showing:
Jack cupped his chin, “James, what should
I do?”
Jame’s brows rose.
Jack licked his lips, “We both know that
Tina is going to betray us. She knows
too much.”
James sighed, “She may know too much, but
the trick will be getting the information out of her before she can act.”
In this case, we have James as a
sounding-board for Jack. We are still in
the third person. What if we move to the
first person?
I contemplated what I should do. I thought, should I force Tina to reveal
her sources, or should I just wait for her to betray us?
That’s first person. We just changed from third to first person
and the immediacy and the intimacy makes it feel okay, but it’s still
telling. Yes, I can rewrite the rest:
I cupped my chin, “James, what should I
do?”
Jame’s brows rose.
I licked my lips, “We both know that Tina
is going to betray us. She knows too
much.”
James sighed, “She may know too much, but
the trick will be getting the information out of her before she can act.”
This is showing in first person. I’m not totally adverse to the first person,
but first person needs to be tailored to only those protagonists who are of
utmost importance in the universe of your novel. I don’t want those types of
protagonists. And, first person tends to
move quickly to telling and stay there.
Telling ruins a novel, and I just can’t advise it as any kind of
technique. I stay away from the first
person for this reason. I can give many
more examples, but this should be enough.
I want to mention the best character for the Romantic protagonist, the
protagonist’s helper. I’ll go there,
next.
As I wrote, you can use the first person
at the peril of telling. I mean, it is
possible to write in the first person without telling. You can show in the first person, but the
entire point, pretty much, of the first person is to tell. This is bad writing, but people write this
way all the time. Some bestsellers are
all telling. I’d say, it’s a great
technique for YA writing, but not for mature writing and most likely, the
writing won’t last. You don’t find many
first person telling novels as classics.
There are a few, but they are few and far between. The YA novels of today appeal to the less
sophisticated, and that’s okay. Let me
mention again the light novel series I’ve been reading, The Ascendence of a
Bookworm. I highly recommend
it. It won’t be a classic, but it’s
complete and a good if not great read.
It’s YA and translated from Japanese.
The translation is pretty good.
It’s main problems are the PoV, first person, and telling. You don’t just know the minds of the
protagonist. Because of the writing
style with a PoV that roams, you know everyone’s mind. Because of the telling, the novel lacks
strong description. The author is
Japanese, so some great description comes out in the text, but it really isn’t
enough for a great novel. The first
person detracts because it allows so much rampant telling. The moving PoV is interesting, but confusing,
and that’s one of my major rules of writing: don’t confuse your readers. Boy does this series confuse in many
ways. Overall, it’s well done, but
overall, it could have been much better.
The much better might have doubled the word count, but it would have
extended and enlivened the writing to the point of amazement. Plus the style is pretty repetitive, which is
another positive and negative—it just gets tiring especially when there are 33
novels in the basic series. Great job,
it could have been better. It’s YA.
Now, I want to show you a better way. In the first place, the Romantic or modern
protagonist is the most amazing creation of modern literature. I mean all fiction writing when I write
literature. It’s just a good concrete
element or style for the protagonist.
The author of The Ascendence of a Bookworm, develops a very
powerful Romantic protagonist and creates a storyline with a continual and
unresolved telic flaw that lasts 33 novels.
That’s astounding. The telic flaw
of the protagonist is that she wants to create books in a world that has
few. In a world without printing, she
wants libraries. The telic flaw is
continuous, but driven further and further by it’s very nature. The special skills the protagonist has are
her magic, called manna in the novels, and her ability to remember her past
life as a person in Japan. She was a
booky even then, and had a great knowledge of crafts that could be applicable
in the medieval world she found herself in.
The author developed an amazing protagonist, but Japanese authors are
very good at developing these types of Romantic protagonists. It’s almost like a special skill of their own
as a culture. Westerners love their characters
and find them compelling. This might be
worth writing about in some detail again.
In any case, the protagonist of The
Ascendence of a Bookworm is an amazing Romantic protagonist. The author even gives them the most important
side character necessary for a great novel of this type, the protagonist’s
helper. Let’s write about the
protagonist’s helper.
Notice, the Romantic protagonist must show
their innermost thoughts. We write that
we show the mind of the protagonist.
This should be literal showing.
We don’t tell the mind of the protagonist. Telling the mind of the protagonist is the
first person or the third person where the author literally gives the thoughts
of the protagonist. My examples from
before:
I contemplated what I should do. I thought, should I force Tina to reveal
her sources, or should I just wait for her to betray us?
Jack contemplated what he should do. His mind was in a quandary. He thought, should I force Tina to reveal
her sources, or should I just wait for her to betray us?
Hey, you can tell in the first person or
the third person, but as I noted, it sure is easy in the first person. The fix to this is the examples I showed with
these. I won’t repeat them. However, the most important point is that
Jack in both showing examples has James to act as the protagonist’s helper to
him. This is the great secret and the
power of both the Romantic protagonist and the protagonist’s helper.
When I first started writing, I had no
idea about the use of the protagonist’s helper in writing fiction. As I gained more and more knowledge, I
realized two very important things. The
first is the need to be aware of showing the mind of the protagonist and the
second was the compelling nature of the protagonist’s helper. When I write sidekick, perhaps the idea of
the protagonist’s helper becomes more concrete, but what if I write lover,
friend, associate, compatriot, besty, teacher, mentor, and so on. The protagonist’s helper is even more. In a love story, the protagonist’s helper can
be the love interest aligned with the protagonist. The protagonist’s helper can be a leader, a
teacher, a friend. Why is this important
in a novel? If you are showing, who are
you depending on for the protagonist to show.
I want a protagonist’s helper. I
literally want to create a character who is attached hip and knee to the
protagonist who has their best interests at heart and whom they can trust to
show their mind. Don’t you love it when
the protagonist has a besty with whom they can openly share their thoughts and
ideas? In fact, the Japanese have a
saying about their writing that a great story begins with a protagonist, adds a
best friend, and then brings in the plots and peril. I’m paraphrasing, but this is a trop for much
of their writing. The protagonist alone
is a tragedy and horror even if the story has a good end.
Let me delve deeper into the protagonist’s
helper. I find this to be the most
useful character in the pack after the protagonist—that is especially for a
modern novel.
I’m still on person. I’d prefer writers of novels use the third
person except in very specific conditions and for very specific
protagonists. What I’ve been identifying
for you are these conditions. One of
them is not having a Romantic (modern) protagonist.
One of the major elements of the modern
protagonist is that of introspection. We
call this sharing or showing the mind of the protagonist. This sharing or showing is not supposed to be
telling the mind of the protagonist.
Every time I read a novel where the author goes into mind reading mode
and tells me exactly what the protagonist is thinking, I go yuck. Even with novels that are otherwise very fun
to read, I go yuck. It throws me out of
the suspension of disbelief, and I’m stuck in yuck land for a while. Most of these writers can’t help themselves. I think it’s bad training or education in
writing. To be fair, they see this
frequently in modern YA novels, and they think it’s the normal and
sophisticated. It isn’t the normal, and
it isn’t good writing. The question then
is how can we represent the mind of the protagonist without telling or mind
reading. The answer is simple—the
protagonist’s helper.
I have integrated the protagonist’s helper
in all of my latest novels. I find the
combination of a focus, who is the protagonist’s helper, and a protagonist is
the most entertaining way to go. The
protagonist’s helper doesn’t need to be the focus, but it is one way or
building the relationship and the novel.
In my proposed novel, Aine, Aine is the
focus and I want her to be the protagonist’s helper. I also want her to become the mechanism for
Eoghan’s telic flaw resolution (as well as his skills). In my recent novel, Rose, Rose is the
protagonist and Shiggy, her savior and mentor is the protagonist’s helper. In Seoirse, Rose is the protagonist’s helper
and focus while Seoirse is the protagonist.
In my latest completed novel, Anu, Bookgirl is the focus and the
protagonist while Morvan is the protagonist’s helper. Each of these novels has a critical
protagonist’s helper connected to their protagonist. Each is greatly improved by this.
That’s the question then. How does the use of a protagonist’s helper
improve the novel. In addition to the
entire idea of a close friend and confidant, the protagonist’s helper allows
two very powerful developments in a novel.
The first is the initial scene and the protagonist/protagonist’s helper
involvement. I’ll throw out the second
just to put the idea in place. The
second allows the protagonist a sounding-board for all introspection. The protagonist’s helper is the person the
protagonist can go to and express their doubts, problems, proposals, ideas,
plans, and all. The protagonist’s helper
can also become the catalyst for the protagonist to develop his or her ideas.
Back to the first. I’ve written many times that the initial
scene is best and most easily designed with the initial or an initial meeting
of the protagonist and the antagonist or the protagonist’s helper. This has become my setup of choice for my
novels, and specifically, the meeting of the protagonist and the protagonist’s
helper. That’s exactly how I’m setting
up Aine for you already. I plan to have
the initial scene be the release of Aine from her crypt by Eoghan. This immediately brings the protagonist and
the protagonist’s helper into each other’s lives. Eoghan, a silent type character now has a
person to speak with and share his ideas with.
I could have easily, in a less creative and more typical novel made Aine
the antagonist. Do you see how that
might work?
In a typical Marvel or Messiah or god setting
novel (or movie), the protagonist would accidently (or intentionally) release
the antagonist (evil goddess) into the world, and then use his godlike powers
to stop and defeat her. This is somewhat
the setup I did in Aegypt my first Ancient Light novel. The protagonist, Paul Bolang helped the
archeologists release the Goddess of Light.
She became the protagonist’s helper, but the climax, not the initial
scene, was the release of the Goddess of Darkness. That’s a typical modern trope, but I will
claim a nearly completely new idea with the two goddesses and making one the
protagonist’s helper to aid the protagonist in defeating the antagonist.
Back to my point. The idea of bringing the protagonist and the
protagonist’s helper together in the initial scene or as the initial
development of the novel is a great way to visualize and design your initial
scene as well as bring your major characters together. This method guarantees the excitement and
entertainment of the initial scene and hooks your readers. I don’t think there are any limitations, and
it is as varied as the initial meeting of the protagonist with the
antagonist. I’m not opposed to the
design and initial scene being the meeting of the protagonist and the
antagonist, but I think there are better and more entertaining means of
creating a fun novel.
You can review for yourself the many
novels and especially classics to see just how the author designed the initial
scene and if the antagonist or a protagonist’s helper enlivened it and made it
truly powerful as a scene. In my
favorite teaching novels, Dragonsong and Dragonsinger, by Anna
McCaffrey, Dragonsong begins with Menolly, the protagonist, confronting
the antagonist which is her culture, family, and circumstances of birth, most
specifically, her father. The
confrontation is a tiny irritant in the beginning, that grows to a great wound
in the novel. The telic flaw is that
women can’t be harpers (musicians) of equal rank with men in her society. This is actually a miscommunication and a cultural
inaccuracy, but still a good telic flaw.
As I noted the antagonist is the overall culture, which is common in
many modern novels. Eventually Menolly
gets her protagonist’s helpers which are her fire lizards, but that is in the
later stages of the novel. The novel is
actually a great buildup to this point, but the actually climax is related but
not the achievement of the protagonist’s helpers. The acquisition of the fire lizards allows
Menolly’s introspection to improve, plus the novel is well written with some
protagonist telling and mind reading, but still under control. It’s not excessive.
In Dragonsinger, Menolly starts
with her protagonist’s helpers and that spices up the initial scene. The initial scene is the initial meeting of
the protagonist and protagonist’s helpers with the antagonists. The antagonist is again the culture of the place
and times connected and represented by certain masters who are happy with the
idea of a female harper, unhappy with a female harper, and indifferent. The telic flaw is that Menolly must win their
hearts and minds, typical Romantic protagonist fashion, using her skills. This is what makes the novel endearing and
fun to read. It’s a classic Romantic
protagonist with protagonist’s helpers (fire lizards and actually some other
characters). I must write, the climax of
both novels is somewhat unique with non action based climaxes that sill
adequately resolve the telic flaw. They
are great and simple examples. They are
also typical YA, although I put them at a higher class in this regard. I think they have legs similar to many of the
Victorian Era classics that everyone should read.
I’m not certain if there is more I need to
write about the protagonist’s helper and person in writing, but let me think
about it and see if I can move on to presentation from person.
The protagonist’s helper is a critical
character in any modern novel. I would
put them up there next to the antagonist as a necessary element. I’d even go so far to call them a concrete
element for most novels. Many novels
include a protagonist’s helper and the author might not even realize it. At the same time, it is possible to write a
modern novel without a protagonist’s helper.
This is the real problem with Harry Potty. Harry Potty really needs a protagonist’s helper,
but he doesn’t really have one. He has a
couple of friends, but their friendship is somewhat vacuous. They really don’t share much which is the
ultimate cause of Harry’s issues in the middle novels where he becomes a real
jerk. Rowling could have made Ron or
Hermionie the protagonist’s helper or brought in another important character,
but really, Harry is alone with no one to speak to about all the issues in his
brain. Perhaps this is the reason so
many children today seem lost and unconnected to the world, they don’t realize
the importance and the closeness of real friendships. That’s one of the reasons I love to make a
strong protagonist’s helper. The weaker
and quieter the protagonist, the louder and more interactive must be the
protagonist’s helper. In any case, let’s
move from the person which is a style element to presentation which is also a
style element.
The presentation is the way the novel is projected
to the reader. The original presentation
for early novels was the story and the journalistic presentation. Genji is in the story presentation. It projects the tale of Genji as a story told
to a group of ladies. This is a classic
and early mean of presentation. In the
West you see it in Boccaccio’s Decameron and Chaucer’s Canterbury
Tales. These are both collections of
somewhat connected stories, but they present as stories being told in a group
of people, one from the plague and the other on a pilgrimage. The point is that a novel can be presented as
a story being told.
Robinson Caruso and many early novels are
presented in a journalistic style. They
are like journals kept by the author of a real life history and presented to
the reader in just that fashion. These
are both early expressions of the novel, and they are occasionally used
today. As time passed, the novel turned
from these presentation styles to first narrative, then dialog and narrative,
then action and narrative, then dialog, action, and narrative. You can actually further delineate these into
dialog and action.
The narrative style is basically where the
novelist tells the story and interjects some dialog into the narrative. Each of the other styles just vary the
strength of the action, dialog, and narrative.
There are novels which use pure dialog to present. These are usually considered experimental. There are also novels which use action to
present, but they are likewise experimental.
In general, most modern novels are a
balance between action and dialog. Narrative
is usually right out today. We just don’t
write using the narrative style or presentation. Usually modern novels are mostly dialog with
some intermittent action either within the dialog or supporting the
dialog. There used to be a joke about
this in the movies, that is the superheroes who would interject witticisms comic
book style during action scenes—well that’s not too far from the norm in much
of modern writing. It’s not bad, it’s
just dialog.
Since the presentation is a style element,
I don’t really have any complete rule, but I can advise you to leave out
narrative. That doesn’t mean to leave
out description. Yes, description is a
type of narrative, but when I write narrative, I mean telling. Don’t tell any part of your novel ever at
all. Give us descriptions of everything
important, all: characters, things, places, time, and etc. Use the descriptions of action to drive the
action and interject dialog throughout. Dialog
should form most of the novel with description and action filling it out. Is this a type of presentation? I’d call it normal or perhaps dialog and
action. It’s what is normal for today’s
writing.
So, look at your writing. If it is mostly dialog with some description
and action moving it along, that’s the correct presentation. If it is a lot of narrative, that is telling
us about stuff, that’s narrative and you need to fix it. If you are missing out on the description, I’d
throw it in. If the action overbears the
dialog, you need more dialog. Simple
stuff. I’d say I can tell the good stuff
when I see it.
Is that all about presentation? Yeah, that’s about it. I’d say, this is very important for the new
writers. I find that inexperienced
writers fill their writing with narration and action. What most writing needs is description and
dialog. When I’m writing, I carefully
evaluate every opportunity for description and then every opportunity for
dialog. Dialog should be real dialog.
I’ll move on to the next style element,
Point of View (PoV)
There’s more.
I want to write another book based on Rose
and Seoirse, and the topic will be the raising of Ceridwen—at least that’s my
plan. Before I get to that, I want to write another novel about
dependency as a theme. We shall see.
More
tomorrow.
For
more information, you can visit my author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel
websites:
http://www.ancientlight.com/
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com
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