My Favorites

Monday, March 5, 2012

Development - Description in Character Revelation

5 March 2012, Development - Description in Character Revelation

Introduction: I realized that I need to introduce this blog a little. I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. The working title was Daemon, and this was my 21st novel. Over the last year, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website and select "production schedule," you will be sent to

I'll say it again and again, you can't tell us what the character of a person is, you must show us their character.  The best place to start is description.  Always describe your primary and secondary characters.  I know some authors who might not describe a primary character for certain reasons--that might be okay.  Beyond that, there is no reason to not describe every primary and secondary character with at least 100 to 300 words.  Here is the description of the demon from the novel, Aksinya:
A great roar filled the cellar, and she almost fell.  She didn’t.  Her voice rang out more clearly.  A hot sulfurous wind rushed through the place and Aksinya smiled.  Then she forced her face back to blandness.  There was a dark flash, a scream like the sound of metal cutting metal, and across the cellar, in the corner suddenly was a shape.
Immediately, Aksinya’s words changed.  They words of enticing and cajoling became those of welcoming and greeting.  They leapt automatically from her lips.  As she spoke, she carefully watched the shape across the room.  It began to move.  At first it slowly rose and fell as though it was just beginning to breathe, and then it began to grow.  It unfolded like a flower, but this flower was like nothing beautiful the earth had ever seen.  It was man-shaped and black.  Its skin and muscles clung to it as though it was only bone and muscle without any fat at all.  When it had unfolded completely, it touched the top of the ceiling, at least seven feet tall.  More than two meters.  Its limbs were long and at the end of its fingers were talons and of its feet were claws.  They were black too.  It’s face was black and handsome.  Fangs jutted out of its lips on the top and the bottom, but the face was aristocratic and fine.  At its head were ears that lifted up points like an animal and horns at either side. 
The creature was naked, and Aksinya’s eyes moved almost without her control downward.  There was nothing there.  It was like an expurgated statue.  There was nothing but a pubic bulge.  Aksinya wasn’t certain whether to be disappointed.  She raised her hands in the final greeting and let them fall.

This is the initial description of the demon, Asmodeus.  This is the picture that was the beginning of the demon in Aksinya.  I didn't build the description until after I designed the character.  In this description, we already see the demon in action.  The character is yet unrevealed, but it is developed and complete.  You, as a reader, just don't know what it is.  I, as the writer, know exactly what and who this demon is.  This is what I revealed in the novel to you.

Asmodeus has the character of a demon--we'll look at that tomorrow.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples:, and the individual novel websites:,,,,, and

No comments:

Post a Comment