17 November 2017, Writing
- part x315, Novel Form, Example of Scene Release
Announcement: Delay, my new novels can be seen on the internet, but the publisher
has delayed all their fiction output due to the economy. I'll keep you
informed. More information can be found at www.ancientlight.com. Check out my novels--I think you'll really enjoy
them.
Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon.
This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in
installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in
addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel
was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and
tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this
blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.
I'm using this novel as an example
of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll
keep you informed along the way.
Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my
writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production
schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.
The four plus one basic rules I
employ when writing:
1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the
writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
4a. Show what can be seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted on the stage
of the novel.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.
These are the steps I use to write a
novel including the five discrete parts of a novel:
1.
Design the initial scene
2.
Develop a theme statement (initial
setting, protagonist, protagonist’s helper or antagonist, action statement)
a.
Research as required
b.
Develop the initial setting
c.
Develop the characters
d.
Identify the telic flaw (internal
and external)
3.
Write the initial scene (identify
the output: implied setting, implied characters, implied action movement)
4.
Write the next scene(s) to the
climax (rising action)
5.
Write the climax scene
6.
Write the falling action scene(s)
7.
Write the dénouement scene
I
finished writing my 28th novel, working title, School, potential
title Deirdre: Enchantment and the School. The theme statement is: Sorcha, the abandoned
child of an Unseelie and a human, secretly attends Wycombe Abbey girls’ school
where she meets the problem child Deirdre and is redeemed.
Here is the cover proposal for Deirdre:
Enchantment and the School.
|
|
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Cover
Proposal
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The most important scene in any
novel is the initial scene, but eventually, you have to move to the rising
action. I continued writing my 29th novel, working title Red Sonja. I finished my 28th novel, working
title School. If you noticed, I started on number 28, but
finished number 29 (in the starting sequence—it’s actually higher than
that). I adjusted the numbering. I do keep everything clear in my
records.
How to begin a novel. Number one thought, we need an entertaining
idea. I usually encapsulate such an idea
with a theme statement. Since I’m
writing a new novel, we need a new theme statement. Here is an initial cut.
For novel 29: Red Sonja, a Soviet spy, infiltrates the
X-plane programs at Edwards AFB as a test pilot’s administrative clerk, learns
about freedom, and is redeemed.
For novel 30: TBD
This
is the classical form for writing a successful novel:
1.
Design the initial scene
2.
Develop a theme statement (initial
setting, protagonist, protagonist’s helper or antagonist, action statement)
a.
Research as required
b.
Develop the initial setting
c.
Develop the characters (protagonist,
antagonist, and optionally the protagonist’s helper)
d.
Identify the telic flaw of the
protagonist (internal and external)
3.
Write the initial scene (identify
the output: implied setting, implied characters, implied action movement)
4.
Write the next scene(s) to the
climax (rising action)
5.
Write the climax scene
6.
Write the falling action scene(s)
7.
Write the dénouement scene
The
protagonist and the telic flaw are tied permanently together. The novel plot is completely dependent on the
protagonist and the protagonist’s telic flaw.
They are inseparable. This is
likely the most critical concept about any normal (classical) form novel.
Here
are the parts of a normal (classical) novel:
1.
The Initial scene (identify the
output: implied setting, implied characters, implied action movement)
2.
The Rising action scenes
3.
The Climax scene
4.
The Falling action scene(s)
5.
The Dénouement scene
So,
how do you write a rich and powerful initial scene? Let’s start from a theme statement. Here is an example from my latest novel:
The
theme statement for Deirdre: Enchantment
and the School is: Sorcha, the abandoned child of an Unseelie and a human,
secretly attends Wycombe Abbey girls’ school where she meets the problem child
Deirdre and is redeemed.
Here
is the scene development outline:
1.
Scene input (comes from the previous scene output or is an initial scene)
2.
Write the scene setting (place, time, stuff, and characters)
3.
Imagine the output, creative elements, plot, telic flaw resolution (climax) and
develop the tension and release.
4.
Write the scene using the output and creative elements to build the tension.
5.
Write the release
6.
Write the kicker
I’m
in Bahrain today writing from the Marriot.
If
you have the characters (protagonist, protagonist’s helper, and antagonist),
the initial setting, the telic flaw (from the protagonist), a plot idea, the
theme action, then you are ready to write the initial scene. I would state that since you have a
protagonist, the telic flaw, a plot idea, and the theme action, you have about
everything—what you might be lacking is the tension and release cycle in your scenes.
The
release part of the scene development cycle is similar to a punchline. This is the point at which the tension of the
scene is released. The complete tension
is never released until the climax of the novel, but the tension of the scene
is released to some degree at this point.
Yesterday,
I described the concept of a scene with the tension and release. Today, the best I can do is give you the
scene. I’ve shown you this scene
before. I think it is a great example of
many different writing techniques and concepts.
Primarily, I’m looking at the release, but don’t neglect to look at the
tension development.
This
scene is from my yet unpublished novel, Valeska:
Enchantment and the Vampire.
At 1900 on Friday, 12 December George and Heidi
stood in front of the Lyons House. Two
rather new looking stone lions sat at either side of the very large oak
door. The house the door fronted looked
large and beautiful. Its facing was
stone and brick in the emperor style. It
appeared very old. George wore a suit
and an inexpensive Christmas tie. Heidi
wore a very frilly white dress with red and green panels on the skirt and the
top. She wore a jaunty beret made of the
same white lace, red, and green material as the dress. It was a warm enough evening that they didn’t
require their coats. The ground was wet,
but the rain stopped earlier in the afternoon.
A young looking butler opened the door to them,
“Good evening. I’m Harold, the
butler. May I announce you?”
George proffered his invitation, “George
Mardling and my niece Heidi Mardling.”
The butler smiled, “The receiving line just
ended. Please follow me.”
They stepped through the door, and the butler
closed it after them. Harold stepped
ahead of them. Heidi whispered to
George, “Did you time our arrival to intentionally miss the receiving line?”
George grinned behind his hand, “I don’t have
to give up all my trade secrets to you, do I?”
The butler led them down the hallway off the
foyer. It opened into a classical large
ballroom with twin staircases at the back.
Dark and ancient wood paneled the interior. The rugs were Turkish and slightly
ragged. Heidi cocked her head, “A very
wealthy and old family.”
George smiled back, “Perhaps.”
The room was not crowded with people, but at
least fifteen couples stood in the space.
Buffet tables filled with food and drink were stationed under the
stairs. A quartet at the left side
played Christmas music intermixed with classics. Harold, the butler, led Heidi and George
toward a handsome middle-aged couple at the side. The man was medium height and shorter than
George. His hair was light brown and his
features were fine but nondescript. He
possessed a very pleasant face with a few wrinkles--most seemed to grace his
eyes and lips as though he was used to smiling.
The woman looked slight, petite and exquisitely
beautiful. Her skin was the color of
cappuccino. Her hair was black, long,
and silky. Her eyes seemed more
appropriate on an Egyptian tomb painting and were large and brown and
exotic. She possessed an almost timeless
appearance, but slight wrinkles marked her eyes and lips in almost the same
measure as the man—as though they had known many of the same joys and sorrows.
The butler stepped to the side, “Mr. and Mrs.
Daniel Long, may I present Mr. George Mardling and his niece Ms. Heidi
Mardling.”
Mrs. Long immediately stepped forward and put
her hand out to Heidi. She maintained a
very bright smile on her face. She took
Heidi’s hand in hers and her eyes went wide.
Heidi instantly released Mrs. Long’s hand. Mrs. Long became breathless. She stammered a little, “Good evening. I’m Sveta Long.” [Tension]
Heidi made a deep curtsy, “Thank you very much,
Mrs. Long for inviting us to your party.”
Sveta reached out to Heidi again. Heidi stepped back, but Sveta connected with
Heidi’s shoulder. Sveta froze, and her
head came up. She frowned and stammered
again, “You’re very welcome. Make
yourself comfortable in our home,” but her face clearly said exactly the
opposite. [Tension]
Heidi glanced in Sveta’s eyes, then quickly
turned her head away, “What I really need is a glass of sweet wine.” [Release]
Sveta looked as if she was about to say
something, but she lowered her head and stepped back.
Heidi sighed.
Daniel’s lips twitched, “I’m not sure what is
going on, exactly.” He grabbed George’s
hand and shook it, “Good to see you back in England, George.”
George forced a smile, “I’m glad to be
back. I’m looking for a new assignment
as soon as possible.” [Tension]
Daniel clapped George on the shoulder, “I
really hoped to keep you here in London for a while. I have some new recruits and training for you
to supervise.”
George grimaced, “Sounds long term. I guess we’ll make do.”
“We’ll?”
“Heidi and I.”
Daniel frowned and put his head back, “Don’t
tell me you are sharing your flat with this young woman.” [Tension]
Heidi blinked, “I am happy to have a place to
stay while I’m visiting in London.”
Sveta stepped forward, “No, you should stay
here. As I understand, the single flats
the organization is assigning now are barely suitable for one—I can’t imagine a
young woman having to put up with such close quarters…” [Tension]
Heidi glared at Sveta, “I would feel completely
out of place anywhere else.”
Sveta glared back, “I insist.” [Tension]
“I equally insist and respectfully decline—Mr.
Mardling is my guardian in London. It
would be unthinkable for me to stay anywhere else.”
Sveta narrowed her eyes at Heidi and Heidi
squinted back at Sveta. [Tension]
Daniel stepped between them, “Sveta, dear, I’m
certain I can assign George a larger flat.” [Release]
Sveta let out her breath. She visibly calmed, “Yes… I’m sure we can
work things out. Are you certain, Heidi,
you don’t want to spend your time here until we can get George a larger place.”
[Release]
Heidi didn’t back down. She made a slicing motion with her hand, “I
will not.” [Tension]
Sveta forced a smile, “Very well. But, I do think you are a bit young to drink
wine.” [Release and Tension]
At that moment, a maid carrying a platter of
filled wine glasses walked by. Heidi
gracefully plucked a glass off the platter.
She downed the whole glass in a swallow and turned Sveta a deep frown,
“I do not like dry white wines. Do you
have something more acceptable to my palate?” [Release and Tension]
Sveta’s eyes bulged. She took a step toward Heidi and appeared
like she was about to leap. Heidi
crouched slightly. [Tension]
Daniel grasped Sveta’s arm, and she came to
herself. [Release]
George raised his hands, “Heidi is much older
than she looks. We just came from Poland
where there are no age limits for drinking alcohol. She usually has a glass or two every
evening.” [Release]
Sveta narrowed her eyes again, “I see. Heidi,” she almost spat the name, “You may
drink as much as you desire in my house.
Harold, please bring up a sweet German Riesling for Ms. Mardling.” [Release]
Heidi raised her head high, “An auslese, if you
have it.”
Harold, the butler, bowed, “Yes, ma’am.”
Heidi glanced at Sveta from the sides of her
eyes, “Thank you again for your hospitality.” [Release]
Daniel pulled Sveta back a step. Heidi grasped George by the hand and led him
toward the buffet tables.
When they moved out of earshot, George leaned
over and whispered, “What was that all about?”
Heidi didn’t look at him, “I think she realizes
what I am.” [Tension]
“What?
Are you kidding?”
“I am completely serious. I think she would have attacked me right
there if she could. I am in serious
danger here—in this house—and in this city.”
George turned and glanced back. Daniel and Sveta engaged in a heated
conversation. Sveta did not look at
them. She pointed back toward them. [Tension]
Heidi moved to the buffet and picked up a
plate.
George whispered, “Why did you have to
antagonize her so much. She is my boss’
wife, shouldn’t you try to gain her as an ally?” [Tension]
Heidi glared at him, “She antagonized me
first. Does a wolf try to ally itself
with the hunter? Or the sheep with the
wolf? Right now, I wish to eat her
food. It surely isn’t poisoned—not if
she fed it to her friends. I also wish
to remain in the crowd where she can’t find me alone. When we return to your apartment, I will go
on foot.”
George caught her arm, “You sound like you have
been through this before.” [Tension]
“Never before, but I have not lived this long
without learning some degree of caution.”
“I find that hard to believe—you were not
living very well when I discovered you.” [Tension]
Heidi raised her voice, “Your life-blood was
eking out of your body when I found you.”
George whispered forcefully, “Sveta is my boss’
wife. She runs an office in the
organization. You need to mollify her
and not antagonize her.” [Tension]
Heidi stared at him, “You choose her over
me?” Her eye twitched. [Tension]
“I didn’t choose her at all. I just want to keep my job. Where do you think this clothing comes from?”
Heidi threw down her plate, “If that’s the way
it is, you may have it back right now.”
She began to unbutton her dress. [Release]
George grabbed her hands, “Stop that. I didn’t mean it that way.” He continued lamely, “I need this work.” [Release]
She stopped, “I understand. I’m just not happy about it.”
George buttoned her dress, “Everyone is
staring.” [Release]
She lowered her head, “I’m sorry, Mr.
Mardling.” She kept her head down and
glanced up at him with her eyes alone. [Release]
“Pick up your plate. You’re lucky it didn’t break.”
She knelt very primly. Harold came up behind her and slipped the
plate out of her hands. He placed a
glass of wine in it, “I’ll get you a new plate.
This one is soiled.” [Release]
“Thank you,” she mumbled. She took a sip of the wine, and her face
brightened. [Release]
Harold came beside her, “What may I select for
you from the buffet.”
Heidi answered very sweetly, “Some of the
partridge, a bit of cheese, bread, and pudding.”
Harold carried the plate for her. Already the attention began to draw away from
her and from George. A few watched her
as an apparent fifteen year old sipped on a glass of wine. When the glass became empty, Harold replaced
it with a full one.
Heidi found a seat at the back of the
room. She sat quietly with a very
attentive look. No one approached
her. George didn’t let Heidi out of his
sight. He took a plate of food and a mug
of dark beer and sulked.
A few people greeted George. Tim and his wife came by. They spoke of trivialities. As the evening progressed, George tried to
keep count of the number of glasses Heidi downed. He lost track, but he thought she only drank
three. He thought about leaving early.
Daniel Long sauntered over. Sveta wasn’t in view. Daniel took a quick glance at Heidi then
addressed George, “George, do you know what set off your niece?” [Release]
“Not a clue,” George lied.
“Sveta was also very agitated, but she wouldn’t
tell me what was going on. Sveta thought
that she was acting unsocial. She’s
trying to make it up to you both.”
“I’m afraid my niece is drinking herself to
oblivion.”
“Sorry about that…”
“I didn’t handle it well at all. She was narked at me too.”
Daniel stepped closer, “George, are you certain
you don’t know why they leapt at each other’s throats?”
“Opposing personalities?”
Daniel shook his head and took a sip of his
drink, “I’ve come to trust Sveta’s intuition about our business and many other
things…”
“I can understand that.”
“I know this isn’t the best time to discuss
things, George. Perhaps you can come
visit me on Monday.”
George grimaced, “Yes. I’ll come by.”
“Maybe we can discuss getting a larger flat for
you and…what was her name, Heidi.”
“Yes, Heidi.”
Daniel nodded apologetically, “Glad you could
come to the party. It’s not been as
pleasant for you as I’d like—sorry about that.”
“It’s all right.”
Daniel moved on to the next couple.
When George turned around to check on Heidi,
she was gone. [Tension]
Heidi held a glass of wine in her hand and
followed Harold. Harold stopped at a
closed door, “Ms. Mardling, this is the sunroom. Mrs. Long is waiting for you within.” Harold opened the door for her and bowed.
Heidi didn’t stagger too much when she stepped
through the door. It shut behind her.
The room was very brightly lit. Sveta sat in a padded chair next to the
center of the room. In front of her
stood a love seat, and on the other side, a matching padded chair. In between the seats sat a tea table.
Sveta stood.
She didn’t move an inch toward Heidi, “Thank you very much for being
willing to meet with me. I’m afraid we
got off on the wrong foot…”
Heidi curtsied.
She didn’t lower her eyes, and she didn’t dare take her eyes off Sveta.
Sveta stretched out her hand, “Would you please
take a seat. I have tea.”
Heidi pursed her lips tightly together. She stepped deliberately to the other padded
chair and stood behind it.
Sveta nodded her head, “You see, there is a
table between us. I won’t try to touch
you again.” Sveta sat down and put out
her hand.
Heidi sat quickly. She set her wine glass on the table.
“May I serve you tea?”
Heidi nodded.
Sveta poured the tea and pushed the cup and
saucer toward Heidi. After Sveta pulled
her hand completely back, Heidi with her eyes on Sveta, reached forward and
took the cup and saucer. She held her
cup and waited.
Sveta poured her tea. No one moved for a while. Finally, flustered, Sveta took a sip of
tea. Heidi kept her eyes on Sveta—she
took a quick sip.
Sveta sat back a little, “Ah, I see…” She steepled her hands, “Your dress is
lovely. You have very good taste.”
Heidi sipped her tea again, “Taste slightly out
of time…”
“Yes, slightly out of time. I really do not desire to antagonize
you. I wonder exactly why…”
“You wonder why my presence unnerves you…”
“Yes, I wonder very much…and I would like to
know why. What is it about you…?”
Heidi frowned, “It might be better for both of
us if you do not know…”
“That thought never crossed my mind…”
“It has not left my thoughts since we were
first introduced…”
Sveta sighed, “Listen, Ms. Mardling, let me lay
my cards on the table.”
Heidi nodded, but didn’t lower her eyes.
“I recognize you are a being of spiritual
dimensions. I myself am such a being.”
“I know.
Does Mr. Long realize—that is about you?”
“Yes.
Does George realize about you?”
“I should lie and say no, but I will say
this…officially, Mr. Mardling doesn’t know anything about it at all…”
“Then he does know… but I am not to tell my
husband about it. I understand. I will not say anything to him.”
“Never…”
“I will not tell anyone…I am very good at
keeping secrets.”
Heidi scowled, “You are not very discreet at
hiding your emotions…”
Sveta put up her hands, “I understand. I was just surprised. The last thing I expected to find was a being
like you at my Christmas party.”
Heidi took a deep breath, “I admit, I was not
at my best. I upset Mr. Mardling and
your guests. Additionally, I acted
petulantly. I apologize. You were very tolerant of my behavior when I
was childish.”
“You are not a child. I realize that.”
“I am not a child.”
Sveta sucked in another deep breath, “Can you
tell me who you are?”
“Your cards are on the table—not mine.”
“I understand.”
She sighed, “Then I will tell you who I am. I am an unbound goddess. I lead the Stele branch of ‘the
organization’.”
Heidi stared, “You…you are a goddess? I should ask for proof, but the fact that you
recognized me…,” she gave a half smile, “…and I you, might be proof
enough. What exactly does this Stele
office do?”
“Chiefly, we use spiritual means to protect
Britain.”
Heidi visibly relaxed.
Sveta put her hands up, “I only wish to know
more about you, but there is a scent.”
Heidi’s eye twitched, “The scent of blood and
the grave?”
“Yes...”
Heidi folded her arms.
“Will you please tell me what kind of being you
are?”
“No.”
“I see.
If you are worried, we follow the One
named יהוה.” The sound reverberated
like a rushing wind about the room.
Heidi covered her ears. Her eyes flashed, “Why did you have to say
that Name?”
“I won’t say it again. You have not bowed your neck to Him?”
“I was already broken by that Guy.”
Sveta’s brow creased, “I…I don’t
understand. I have never heard of such a
thing. Please tell me who you are. I’d be happy to help any way I can.”
Heidi’s voice rose, “You can’t help me. No one can help me.”
“I don’t believe that is true.”
“Then you don’t know everything do
you…goddess?”
Sveta was getting a little hot, “If you tell me
who you are, we can move forward from there.
If you simply bow your neck to Him, we can work together.”
“I lay with my face on the ground broken by Him
and without any hope of redemption…”
“I know that is not true…”
Heidi rose to her feet, “It is truth.”
“If you know about Him and you are convinced,
you must have hope…I believe this is truth.”
Heidi stood, “I believe we have nothing else to
speak about…”
Sveta held out her hands, “Please, Ms.
Mardling…don’t go. I promise, as long as
you don’t oppose us, we will help you…”
“You don’t understand…”
Sveta took a deep breath, “I want to
understand. Please tell me who you are…”
“I will not… if I do…if I do,” Heidi’s chest
heaved.
“Please…, I know someone you will want to talk
to.”
Heidi backed around the chair. She kept Sveta at her front.
Sveta sighed, “You don’t need to fear me. I promise—I’ll not attack you. I think we can still work together to the
same ends.”
Heidi perked up, “Do you truly promise?”
“I do… I do promise, by the last and all.” The air crackled in the room.
Heidi smiled, “You may regret that you ever
made such a promise, but I do accept it.
I can’t handle anything more tonight.
I thank you for your hospitality.”
She backed to the door. When
Heidi touched the door handle, Harold opened the door from the other side. Heidi curtsied and ran through the opening.
I
marked some points of tension and release in the scene above. I’ve written about this before. Complex scenes are about waves of tension and
release. If you notice the break –these are
technically two separate scenes. The
second scene is a release of tension and more tension development from the
first scene. You can see that the
tension developed in the first scene is not completely resolved by the second
scene.
The
really big secret that drives all the tension in these scenes is that Heidi is
a vampire. This is what motivates Sveta
and Heidi. This motivates George. Everything in the scenes revolves around this
secret. There are other pieces of
information, but this secret drives the tension and release cycle of the
scenes. In fact, this secret drives the
tension and release cycle for the entire novel.
By the end, a few more people know Heidi’s secret, but not that many
more. This secret drives the tension and
release through the entire novel.
This
idea of secrets or really unrevealed information is a concept I can’t push any
harder. I’ve written over and over about
this idea. Perhaps as an author, you
imagine that only mystery and crime novels work with secrets…or some other
specialty novel. All novels are driven
by secrets. Think of Pride and Prejudice—this
novel is completely driven by secrets.
The unrevealed thoughts and positions of the protagonist and the
antagonist are known to the reader, but not to either character. The resolution of the novel occurs when the protagonist
and the antagonist realize their thoughts and motivations and communicate them
together. The classic irony and beauty
of the novel is that the readers knows and wonders when and how the characters
shall be resolved.
Think
about any novel, at least any great novel.
Thing about the unrevealed or secretive knowledge in them. In some cases, the knowledge is withheld from
the readers and the characters.
Sometimes the characters know and the readers do not. In some cases, the readers know but the
characters don’t. Each circumstance creates
a different type of irony. So to begin a
novel and to propel tension and release, you really need secrets.
More
tomorrow.
For more information, you can visit my
author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:
http://www.ancientlight.com/
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com
fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline,
character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing,
information, study, marketing, tension, release, creative, idea, logic
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com
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