Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 320, one more Dragon and Fox Prologue Paragraphs Initial Scene

24 February 2015, Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 320, one more Dragon and Fox Prologue Paragraphs Initial Scene

Announcement: My new novels should be available from any webseller or can be ordered from any brick and mortar bookstore.  Information can be found at www.ancientlight.com.  Check out my novels--I think you'll really enjoy them.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

The four plus one basic rules I employ when writing:

1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

All novels have five discrete parts:
1.  The initial scene (the beginning)
2.  The rising action
3.  The climax
4.  The falling action
5.  The dénouement

The theme statement of my 25th novel, working title, Escape, is this: a girl in a fascist island nation will do anything to escape--a young cargo ferry pilot not following the rules crashes on the island.

I'll make a slight digression because I'm developing advertising and publisher materials for my newest completed novel, Lilly.  Here is the cover proposal for Lilly: Enchantment and the Computer. 

Cover Propsal

The most important scene in any novel is the initial scene.  I'm writing about the initial scene of my newest novel, "Escape."  Escape is the working title.  I'll decide on the proposed title when I finish the novel.  I'm at the eight chapter right now.  That means I've written about 160 pages.

The entertainment (and excitement) should start with the first sentence and paragraph and grow to envelope the first scene.  Let's compare the excitement and entertainment I'm recommending with some of my published novels.  As I grew as a writer, my awareness of the importance of the first paragraph grew.  It's one thing to be taught or realize and another to implement.  Since I started this blog, I've recommended against prologues--I still do.  When I was a younger writer, I placed prologues at the beginning of my science fiction novels.  So let's look at those prologues to see how they might hurt the novels.  Next example, The End of Honor:

Dr. Freisen D. Haupenberg Just What Were the Accords? Interstellar copyright X785 (10,785) ATA (Ancient Terran Accounting) Guidebook to the Human Galactic Empire (4,000 to 7,785 ATA)

      It is appropriate in the year we celebrate the 3,000th anniversary of the end of the Human Galactic Empire that we start our study with an overview of the Noble Accords.  The Noble Accords, the Rules of the Code, or more simply, the Code are all synonyms for the set of written laws that governed the genetic heritage of the Nobility of the Human Galactic Empire.  As you know, the leadership of the Human Galactic Empire was developed through genetic manipulation.  This was necessary to successfully colonize newly discovered planets; however, over time, these leaders took on the political and social aspect of feudal rulers.  A hereditary ruling class overcame and replaced humankind’s most precious democratic ideal.  The Empire was a stable and reasonably just system that ruled longer than any other human authority.  This culture vibrantly colored almost 4,000 Terra standard years of human history.

 

The End of Honor is the first novel of the Chronicles of the Dragon and the Fox.  It is the first novel in the series and the last novel of the series I wrote.  I wrote the novels in opposite order.   

There isn't must more that I can tell you about why not to use prologues.  There is no action, no character development or introduction, no real or direct scene setting.  Perhaps there is a bit of mystery and entertainment, but this is the reason I write historical and science fiction, instead of histories and technical papers--I want to entertain my readers.

I assure you, I don't do prologues anymore.  I'm not sure how I will be able to handle the Ghost Ship Chronicles when they are eventually published.  They are not a set of series novels, but rather a set of five continuing novels.  They can be read separately, but they form an overall story.  I wrote introductions for each of them (after the first) to spin the readers up to the current plot.  I'm not sure how I can fix this without leaving out the introduction or somehow incorporating the previous writing into the text. 

So, about prologues and introductions or any other important writing ahead of the initial paragraph.  
 

More tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:
http://www.ancientlight.com/
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com  

Development - Teaser Example

17 April 2012, Development - Teaser Example

Introduction: I realized that I need to introduce this blog a little. I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. The working title was Daemon, and this was my 21st novel. Over the last year, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

The steps in making and using a character in a novel are as follows:

1. Development of the character (history, description, personality, etc.)
2. Revelation of the character (within the novel, show don't tell)
      a. Description of the character - introduction
      b. Voice of the character
      c. Continuing revelation by showing

In a classical plot (and in most of my novels) you have a protagonist, an antagonist, and a protagonist's helper. If you develop these three characters for a novel, the plot will naturally fall out of the development of the characters.

Let's look at teasers for a minute.  I really can't help you much if you can't write without telling.  You can't write a successful novel by telling, and if you don't know the difference...you're toast.  I can try to help you with examples.  Let's look at one.  This is the official teaser (blurb) for The Fox's Honor.

The fragile peace of the Human Galactic Empire hangs in the balance. Book Two, The Chronicles of the Dragon and the Fox Don't miss Book One, The End of Honor, or Book Three, A Season of Honor By L.D. Alford, the author of the suspense-thriller, Aegypt, Centurion, and The Second Mission It was a time of treachery and vengeance…of nobility and redemption…all because of love. Prince Devon Rathenberg, the Emperor’s Fox and chief of intelligence, has fallen in love with the Lady Tamar Falkeep—the third daughter of the least Duke in the Human Galactic Empire. But custom dictates they can never marry. Then the unthinkable happens. In the insurrection that threatens to tear apart the Human Galactic Empire, Devon designs a plan to reveal the Empire’s internal enemies. It’s a plan of desperation that, by design, will result in the ultimate sacrifice: his own death. But before he dies, Devon is determined to win the heart of Lady Tamar and declare his love.

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Notice the way this teaser is written. I've discussed this before with you.  It is filled with excitement.  There are no "I" (indicative pronoun) statements.  The author doesn't appear.  It is all telling (that's what you do in a teaser).  It tries to get you excited about the characters and the plot.

The first sentence tries to draw you in and gives a setting for the rest of the teaser.  After it provides a context for the novel and for the writing, it drives directly into the teaser.  The body of the teaser begins:  "It was a time of..."  Immediately, the teaser draws you in with the characters.  It gives you names and tries to tug on your emotions and heart strings--love.  At that point we move into the plot.  So first, exciting introduction.  Second, draw in with the characters.  Third, introduce elements of the plot.  The point of the teaser is to get the reader excited about the book.  It must be short, sweet, mention the main characters, introduce the plot, and did I say short.  If your teaser is too long, you will run off your potential readers.

I've been seeing some horrible teasers and blurbs in the indie scene. I'll discuss that tomorrow and get back to introducing the theme in the first scene later.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com/, http://www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, http://www.thefoxshonor.com/, and http://www.aseasonofhonor.com/.

A New Novel, Part 151 Ernst, Introduce Your Friend

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.


Aksinya has come to Ernst Father's estate in the mountains of Austria. Ernst greets the party, but his father quickly follows...


A man who looked like an older copy of Ernst descended the marble steps from the house. He was dressed in very conservative formal tails. His top hat sat jauntily on his head. A great smile filled his features. He laughed, “Ernst, the Freiherr and the Freifrau I know. Please introduce me to your friend.”

Ernst offered his arm to Aksinya and walked her to the gentleman, “Father, this is the Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna. Countess, this is my father, the Graf Franz von Taaffe.”

Aksinya proffered her gloved hand, and The Graf took it and bowed over it. When he raised his head, his eyes twinkled, “Good evening, Countess and welcome to Steinholtz. My son has truly chosen to court a treasure.”

Aksinya blushed at that too.

The Graf reluctantly, Aksinya thought, released her hand and turned toward her aunt and uncle. The Freiherr gave slight bow and the Freifrau a curtsy. Graf von Taaffe grasped the Freiherr’s hand and pumped it up and down. He bowed over Freifrau Bockmann’s hand.

Aksinya reached behind her and pulled Natalya forward. Lady Natalya made a low curtsy. Aksinya put out her hand, “Graf von Taaffe, this is my lady-in-waiting, the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska.”

Graf von Taaffe bowed over Natalya’s hand, “I have heard about your good friend also, Countess Golitsyna. You are also welcome, Lady Obolenska. That is a name of Russian nobility, is it not?”

Aksinya answered for Natalya, “The Lady Natalya is a member of the court.”

Graf von Taaffe turned his smile back to Aksinya, “Is that so? Then we are all well met.”

Aksinya continued, “You may address her as the Lady Natalya.”

Graf von Taaffe grinned at Aksinya, “I do understand the formality of the Russian court, but you may address me as Franz if you wish, Countess.”

“I have not given Ernst the favor of that informality with me, yet, sir. I am a little old fashioned in my thinking. I hope you don’t mind.”

The Graf seemed even more pleased, “I understand completely, Countess. Very well, it is cold outside, and I understand your delicate nature. Please, let us retire to the ballroom. There are refreshments, and I’m certain, my guests would like to make your acquaintance.” The Graf put out his arm toward Aksinya. She took it. Ernst frowned and gave his arm to Natalya. They made their way into the house with the Graf von Taaffe and the Countess Golitsyna in the lead.

So the Graf von Taaffe steps from the house. I give you a description of him. He is much like Ernst, but he is self-controlled and mature. Ernst introduces Akinsya and we see his approval. Ernst's father is suave and well-manured. He is a count in the Germanic nobility. The Graf calls Aksinya a treasure. Aksinya blushes because she doesn't think much of her beauty. This leaves us to wonder about how Aksinya really appears to others--we also wonder if the Graf is simply flattering her.


The Freiherr is obviously a good friend to the Graf. You might wonder that they have business dealings together. I don't tell you. It is really enough to leave the depths of the relationship unsaid. They are friends and this is enough.

I imply again that Natalya is hiding.  Aksinya pulls Natalya forward and introduces her. The Graf show knowledge and consideration beyond the norm. He treats Natalya well for Aksinya's sake. The Graf's simple comment: we are all well met refers to the fact that everyone there is noble. This implies some degree of intimacy and connection. Then the question of the addresses. Aksinya begins by insisting that Natalya be addressed as a noblewoman. The Graf conveys a great boon on Aksinya by asking her to call him Franz--his first name. Aksinya is not scandalized, but this is an informality she will not accept.

The Graf is pleased because Aksinya shows such strong presence of mind, decorum, and will. She did not simply agree to call the Graf Franz. She wasn't afraid to contradict him. She holds to the decorum of the court even when offered the opportunity to be less formal. The Graf obviously knows a lot about Aksinya--he either came to the information from Ernst or some other source. Notice, he is concerned about her delicate nature--that is a reference to the cold, and Aksinya has problems with being cold. Now we head into the mansion to make the acquittance of the Graf's guests. Tomorrow, the interior and the Graf's friends.

A New Novel, Part 131 Introductions and Cloaks

For those who haven't been following this blog, let me introduce it a little.  I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon.  The novel is about Aksinya, a wondrous sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus.  Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Wien, Austria.

Ernst made his way into the house and is greeted by Aksinya.  He brought a red rose.  He prepares to escort Aksinya and Natalya out to dinner...

Ernst stood and put out his arm, “If you please, Countess. My landau awaits you.”


Sister Margarethe loudly cleared her throat behind them.

Aksinya half turned, “Ernst von Taaffe, I am pleased to introduce Sister Margarethe. She looks after the Lady Natalya and me.”

Ernst turned his head only a fraction of an inch, “Will she accompany us?”

Aksinya shook her head, “Not on this occasion. And I can’t forget my best friend and confidant, the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska. She will accompany me.” Aksinya didn’t turn this time, “Sister Margarethe, the Lady Natalya and I will be going out for the evening with Herr von Taaffe. We will return after the ballet. Please bring our cloaks.”

Sister Margarethe curtsied, “I am very pleased to meet you Herr Taaffe. Do not keep my charges out too late. They must both attend chapel and early classes.” She exited the room for a moment and returned with the cloaks.

When Sister Margarethe approached Aksinya, Natalya stopped her, “That is the wrong cloak for the Countess. Please bring the mink one.”

Sister Margarethe pressed her lips together, but she went back for the heavy mink cloak. When Sister Margarethe returned, Natalya took the cloak from her and placed it over Aksinya’s shoulders. She took a deep breath, smiled, and tied the cloak at Aksinya’s neck.

Sister Margarethe placed Natalya’s black woolen cloak over her shoulders. Natalya stepped toward Aksinya before the nun could fasten the cloak. She buried her face in the fabric and slowly tied it at her neck herself.

Aksinya eyed Ernst’s proffered arm dubiously. Then she placed two fingers on his forearm. Ernst covered her fingers and forced her hand against his arm. He smiled at her, “I wouldn’t want you to stumble.” He led her to the door. Sister Margarethe just had time to get to the portal and open it so he and Aksinya could exit into the freezing evening. Natalya nodded as she passed the nun, but she didn’t say a word, and she turned her head away from the sister to hide her smile.

Much is suddenly going on and much is unsaid in the little scene inside the parlor of Aksinya's house.  I promise you will learn the reason for much of it and much much more you might have wondered about, and you will learn it soon.
 
At this moment, you can rest in the gentle arms of the culture.  It is so refined and so much the kind of environment Aksinya and Natalya are used to.  Sister Margarethe makes a noise to remind Aksinya of her manners.  Aksinya was going to treat the Sister like a servant.  I told you before why.  This doesn't bother Sister Margarethe.  Aksinya is not surprised--she did not forget.  The Sister was a little too forward, but that's all right.  Aksinya continues and introduces Natalya.  Note that Aksinya is completely in control at this moment.  She is the consummate Countess and aristocrat. 
 
Sister Margarethe is no fool.  She warns Ernst in more than one way: not too late, chapel, and early classes.  She didn't have to tell Ernst that she is waiting up and watching for the ladies to return.  There are some other things that are immediately clear to the Sister that might not be clear to the reader--they will be very soon.
 
I wanted you to see the control of Natalya too at this moment.  Watch what happens when the Sister brings the wrong cloak.  Do you remember, Aksinya made Natalya her chaimberlin (the steward over her clothing).  Natalya takes this responsiblility very seriously.  She dresses the Countess and she handles her clothing.  She will allow a servant to fetch and carry, but she will ensure the proper clothing and adonrnment.  She sends Sister Margarethe back for the Mink and that irritates the Sister.  We know this is Aksinya's favorite cloak, and we know why.  It was her mothers and held her mother's smell.  Now it holds Aksinya's scent.  Natalya takes it in like a breath of fresh air.
 
Then the Sister puts Natalya's cloak on her.  Natalya prevents the Sister from taking the liberty of sharing her joy in the scent of Aksinya's cloak.  This is a very tense and careful interplay.  It describes the place of servants compared to friends in the household.  It all goes on almost automatically and silently.
 
Now, they are ready to go out.  Ernst offers his arm and Aksinya gives him two fingers--she is polite, but not forward.  Ernst is very forward.  Aksinya's quick exit with Ernst catches the Sister off guard.  Natalya laughs at Sister Margarethe.  Natalya is not mean, but Ernst has forced his way into the house and taken her mistress with him and Natalya is going with Aksinya.  This is her greatest joy and she was invited, not Sister Margarethe.  Tommorrow, more revelations inside the landau.

A New Novel, Part 63 The Table

The Reverend Mother's introductions complete, the ladies at Aksinya and Natalya's table may now address them.  Notice that correct protocol has not been completed.  The ladies should now appropriately introduce themselves to Aksinya and Natalya.  Aksinya is forgiving, Natalya not so much...

Around Aksinya and Natalya’s table sat seven other young women who were from sixteen to twenty-one years old plus an elderly nun. The sister watched Aksinya and Natalya with as rapped an expression as the girls.


After the soup was served, one of the older girls asked in French, “Are you really a Countess?”

Natalya almost leaped out of her seat, “What do you mean asking such a question? My mistress is the Countess Golitsyna.”

Aksinya pulled Natalya back into her seat, “I am the Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna. You may call me Aksinya if you wish. This is the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska. I insist you address her as the Lady Natalya. She is my friend and confidant. She is also the daughter of a Prince.”

Natalya sucked her lip and stared back at Aksinya, “And the Countess is the daughter of a Princess and a Count. She…she…rescued me.”

“Hush, Lady Natalya.”

Aksinya gave the ladies a second chance to introduce themselves, but they didn't take it.  Aksinya makes her confidence in Natalya very clear--friend and confidant.  She also gives them leave to call her by her first name, a bit of latitude they would never be low enough to take.  She insists they address Natalya as Lady Natalya.  She demands respect for Natalya, but not herself.
 
Notice, that Aksinya then throws down the gauntlet.  She tells them Natalya's rank--she is the daughter of a Prince.  Natalya knew this.  Earlier, the demon led us to believe that Natalya didn't know who her father was--he left the answer ambivalent.  Now we know that she knows this.  We also get a repeat of an important point.  Aksinya is the daughter of a Russian princess.
 
Then the confession: she rescued me.  This is never far from Natalya's mind and should never be far from ours.  I reminded you because I don't want you to forget--it's like Aksinya's hair.
 
Aksinya's response a gentle, hush.  Aksinya realizes what is in Natalya's mind, or she thinks she does.  
 
I just finished writing the pivotal scene in the novel.  It happens in chapter 15.  It is chapter 15.  I've been thinking about this scene and driving toward it for weeks. I have many notes that I must now resolve with it and improve it.  It is specifically the scene that will lead to the resolution of the novel.

A New Novel, Part 45 German Introductions and the Demon

The piece today continues from the arrival at Sacré Coeur.  By the way, Sacré Coeur is a real school with a convent and church.  The names of the people have been changed, of course.  The descriptions and the places are fiction.  In my historical fiction, I want the places and in many cases, the descriptions and places to match--we will see this later, but to keep to the fiction world, in some cases we must modify the world a little to achieve the theme--remember, the theme is always the reason and the purpose.  Many modern works go adrift because the author forgets this very important concept. 

The opening of this piece is more about the demon--he doesn't like crosses.  Aksinya has guessed this.  We get more information here.  It confirms more to us, but we still don't have enough information.  I'm saving that for a very pivotal scene.

The Reverend Mother wore a large cross that depended from a silver chain around her neck. The demon eyed it then moved to the far side away from her. The Reverend Mother engulfed Aksinya in her smile, “I understand Countess that you would like to attend Sacré Coeur like your aunt.“


Aksinya nodded.

Aunt Brunhilda interjected, “The Countess believes her German is not very skilled.”

Frau Drescher’s response was slightly tense, “Does she speak any tongue well?”

Freifrau Bockmann raised his eyebrows, “She is a Russian Countess but speaks French, Greek, and her German to my mind is excellent.”

The Reverend Mother bobbed her head, “Frau Drescher takes care of our dormitory and the students. She speaks only German. She is concerned that the Countess might not understand her or our rules well.” She turned to Frau Drescher, “Frau, you should prepare your dormitory for the Countess’ visit. Thank you.”

Frau Drescher’s brow rose, but she nodded and curtsied to Aksinya then left toward the dormitory.

A short piece but very important to tell you about Frau Drescher and RM Kluge.  I intend for Frau Drescher to play a more important role in the future than I have given her yet.  Her introduction is jarring.  She reacts as she does because Aksinya does not speak.  If you are familiar with aristocracy, you would expect Aksinya to act like her aunt.  That is what Frau Drescher expects and when Aksinya doesn't speak, she makes a very rude and terse comment.  This is not out of character in German or Austrian culture, so don't let it bother you.  Notice that RM Kluge covers it up the best she can.  In this exchange, I try to show you the culture of the time.  I also show you the characters of Frau Drescher and RM Kliuge.
 
Additionally, I show you Frau Drescher's job at the school.  Can you see her in your mind?  That is my ultimate goal.  I want you to see Frau Drescher in your mind's eye.  I don't want you to totally dislike her yet, just a little.  Don't you like and trust RM Kluge already?