A New Novel, Part 267 Beyond This Trial, I Have No Purpose at All

28 June 2011, A New Novel, Part 267 Beyond This Trial, I Have No Purpose at All

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is on trial in Wien, Austria.  Aksinya was deposed and the court took a break.  Aksinya and Father Dobrushin discuss the case.  The presiding judge is preparing to call for the first witness....

“In the seminary, like most universities, we study theology.  Post graduate work is in law, theology, or medicine.  I studied law.  One of the reasons the Orthodox Church sent me here was to help in the legal matters for refugees.”

“I see.”

“There is a further problem that will come up in the court.”

“That is?”

“Your immigration status.”

“Am I not legally here in Austria?”

“You are and you are not.  The red Russians sent a letter to the court requesting they extradite you for the murder of your family.  The extradition is not part of this trial, but will become an issue at sentencing or your release.  The white Russians wish you back to help rally the war effort.  The same issue concerns your sentencing or release.”

Aksinya pouted, “I do not wish to return to Russia.” 

“I understand that.  Where do you wish to go?”

“I don’t know.  Beyond this trial, I have no purpose at all—other than to be rid of the demon.”

“Yes, we shall see about that.”

The spectators began to return to the courtroom.  They hurried to their seats.  Right at the specified time, the judges’ doors opened, and the Lay Judges then the Professional Judges entered the courtroom and took their seats.

Judge Richter shuffled his papers for a moment and made a decision, “We shall hear particulars about the theft of the house and goods first.  Call the owner of the house, Herr Tauber as the first witness.”

 Herr Tauber was an elderly and balding man.  He wore a tight black suit with a split white cravat.  He was thin and nervous.  He sat tall with his buttocks perched primly at the front of the witness chair.

Yesterday, we learned more about Father Dobrushin.  He is a lawyer whose job is to aid Russian refugees from the civil war there.  Father Dobrushin brings up an important matter.  Since he is an expert in immigration law, he is obvious privy to the information and knows what it means.  This is a deliberate foreshadowing.  I am introducing the idea to you.  You realize the worst event that could happen to Aksinya is to be returned to Russia.  In the hands of the red Russians, she will be tortured and murdered.  In the hands of the white Russians, she will face eventual defeat and then torture and death at the hands of the red Russians.  The demon couldn't ask for a worse end.

I remind you about the demon and the contract in the comments Aksinya shares with Father Dobrushin.  When the judges return to the courtroom, the judge has decided to hear the case of fraud first.  I define the first witness to you.  Tomorrow, the first witness testifies.

A New Novel, Part 154 You Were Chosen

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Yesterday, I forgot to mention two important points in the conversation.  The first is the comment about the tragic results of Russian stories.  This was a foreshadowing before and a foreshadowing here.  I'm certain you got that.  The second was the Graf's question: "Are you pleased with him?"  This was basically a refined way of saying: "Do you love him?"  Aksinya's answer is not very encouraging: "He is pleasant to me."  I really don't want you to miss this point.  That's why I keep bringing it up (in the novel); does Akinsya appear like a woman in love?  To the Graf, this point isn't really important, he isn't interested in love... 



Aksinya took a small spoonful of the soup, it was a delicate consume of partridge and spices. She sipped her wine again and glanced over her glass at the Graf, “I would not wish Ernst to become dour.”


The Graf smiled, “Dour by working? How should he support a family otherwise?”

“I have spoken to him about this. In Russia, my father was always busy with the affairs of our county. I would expect Ernst to do the same.”

“Well said and good advice to him.” He turned toward Ernst, “Has this wise woman been so candid with you?”

“Yes, father,” Ernst’s voice sounded slightly strained.

“Then you should listen to her, and not become dour. What, dear Countess, do you think a young nobleman should be about? That is, to prepare his way in the world?”

Ernst scowled, “Father, this is much too candid a conversation for the table.”

“What do you think, Countess?”

“What do you wish Ernst to do to prepare himself? He told me he was in the military during the war.”

Graf von Taaffe frowned a little, “He was.”

“Were you not proud of him? I was.”

The Graf’s smile returned, “We have not been a military family for a long while. I was also proud of him, but I feared for his life. I could not stand to think I would lose him too.”

Aksinya’s face displayed her curiosity.

The Graf continued, “I lost his mother, and I do not wish to lose him. To me that is unthinkable.”

“Perhaps a little frivolity is owed to a man who is willing to protect that which he believes is important.”

The Graf puffed out his chest, “Well said, Countess. And well turned.” He raised his glass to Ernst, “Ernst, you have chosen well.”

Aksinya raised her glass and took a sip of wine, “Chosen?”

“Why, he has chosen to court you, Countess. If you are willing to defend and to admonish him, this is a very welcome thing to me. His mother would have done the same.”

Aksinya blushed, “You attribute too much to me, I think.”

The Graf only continued to smile.

The servants brought out the fish course next. Ernst was unusually silent. The main course followed the fish. Then the salad was followed by the cheese. Afterward, the Graf stood, “The gentlemen shall retire to the smoking room, and the ladies may retire to the parlor for dessert.”

Now, the Graf finally begins to get to his real point.  You see this conversation is a very delicate inquiry into the thoughts of Aksinya.  There is a give and take, but mostly gentle probing by the Graf.  Aksinya is a natural at this, but she really doesn't have any agenda, the Graf does. 

As before, Aksinya thinks a little before answering.  The last point the Graf made was this: “Now, Ernst, I simply state the obvious.  Although I understand very well why you might want to spend every evening entertaining the Countess, I do wish you to be as serious as she is about your future.”  The Graf's point is about Ernst's (and Aksinya's) future.  He is trying to get (shame) Ernst to face the future (with Aksinya).  Look at Aksinya's answer, it is so coy and well thought out: “I would not wish Ernst to become dour.”  The point here is that she would not want Ernst to change.  We know why; she wants the luxuria.  There is a second innuendo in her statement.  For Ernst to become dour, the story would have to have a tragic end.  We can guess the answer to that, but it is inconceivable in the current bright environment.

Aksinya's statement gives the Graf the opportunity to bring out the big guns.  This was the point he wanted an opportunity to make since the beginning: “Dour by working? How should he support a family otherwise?”  There it is.  The Graf will refine and make this point more than once, but his point in inviting Aksinya to this party is to get Ernst to become responsible and begin to work so that Ernst can support a family (obviously with Aksinya as his wife). 

Aksinya's response is to the point, but do you get the idea that she hasn't put everything together.  She doesn't seem to get the idea that the Graf means her when it comes to family.  Aksinya's advice is the same as that which she gave Ernst at their first dinner meeting.  The Graf thinks Aksinya is working along with him.  She is simply stating what to her is obvious.  Ernst remembers his and Aksinya's conversation on this subject. 

The Graf complement's Aksinya's statement and makes a nice turn in the conversation.  The implication is that if Ernst accepts his responsibility then he will not become dour (there won't be a tragic ending).  The Graf keeps pushing.  He has enlisted Aksinya as his helper, and believes she will continue to support him.  His question: "What, dear Countess, do you think a young nobleman should be about? That is, to prepare his way in the world?”

This angers Ernst, but the Graf continues.  Aksinya isn't a pawn of anyone.  We are not certain she fully grasps what the Graf is about.  Her response supports Ernst.  Remember back to their first dinner conversation.  Aksinya was impressed with Ernst's participation in protecting his country.  Aksinya was proud of this--we could guess that.  Military service is indeed the major reason for the nobility.  She was proud of him--his father was worried about him.  Aksinya has turned the conversation.  We are not certain if she did it on purpose because she didn't like where the Graf was taking it, or if it was accidental and based on just her peception of the conversation itself. 

The turn brings up Ernst's mother.  Since Aksinya is sitting in the seat reserved for Ernst's dead mother, the irony and depth of this statement can't be ignored.  We learn that the Graf is likely overprotective of his son and that he loved his wife and loves Ernst very much.  Aksinya's next statement is very ironic on many levels: “Perhaps a little frivolity is owed to a man who is willing to protect that which he believes is important.”  Although Ernst participated in the war, he was only partially willing to protect Aksinya and her friends when they were about to be raped.  His lack of action resulted in her making the great enchantment in the street.  He stole her book.  He has not been protecting Aksinya.  We are not certain what is important to Ernst--other than frivolity.  We know what is important to Aksinya and that is akin to frivolity.  Still, the Graf doesn't understand the irony in Aksinya's words.  She didn't say them or understand them to be ironic, we just know they are.

The Graf's response and Aksinya's reaction shows us how clueless Aksinya is.  When the Graf raises his glass to her and Ernst, she thinks it is raised to Ernst alone;  she takes a sip.  She knows Ernst is courting her with the intention of marriage.  That is obviously why he brought her to his father and that his father invited Aksinya to this party.  She was chosen.  Aksinya doesn't get it.  Aksinya has proven to the Graf that she would make a perfect mate for Ernst.  She is bright and polished.  She defended him to his father.  She admonished Ernst and admonished the Graf.  In the eyes of both, Aksinya is perfect.  She is a perfect noblewoman and a perfect choice as the next Gräfin (countess) von Taaffe.  Aksinya kind of begins to understand what the conversation was about--her and Ernst's future.  The Graf made his point, therefore, he smiles.  You might wonder just what the Graf has prepared the atmosphere for.  Tomorrow, dancing together.

A New Novel, Part 63 The Table

The Reverend Mother's introductions complete, the ladies at Aksinya and Natalya's table may now address them.  Notice that correct protocol has not been completed.  The ladies should now appropriately introduce themselves to Aksinya and Natalya.  Aksinya is forgiving, Natalya not so much...

Around Aksinya and Natalya’s table sat seven other young women who were from sixteen to twenty-one years old plus an elderly nun. The sister watched Aksinya and Natalya with as rapped an expression as the girls.


After the soup was served, one of the older girls asked in French, “Are you really a Countess?”

Natalya almost leaped out of her seat, “What do you mean asking such a question? My mistress is the Countess Golitsyna.”

Aksinya pulled Natalya back into her seat, “I am the Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna. You may call me Aksinya if you wish. This is the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska. I insist you address her as the Lady Natalya. She is my friend and confidant. She is also the daughter of a Prince.”

Natalya sucked her lip and stared back at Aksinya, “And the Countess is the daughter of a Princess and a Count. She…she…rescued me.”

“Hush, Lady Natalya.”

Aksinya gave the ladies a second chance to introduce themselves, but they didn't take it.  Aksinya makes her confidence in Natalya very clear--friend and confidant.  She also gives them leave to call her by her first name, a bit of latitude they would never be low enough to take.  She insists they address Natalya as Lady Natalya.  She demands respect for Natalya, but not herself.
 
Notice, that Aksinya then throws down the gauntlet.  She tells them Natalya's rank--she is the daughter of a Prince.  Natalya knew this.  Earlier, the demon led us to believe that Natalya didn't know who her father was--he left the answer ambivalent.  Now we know that she knows this.  We also get a repeat of an important point.  Aksinya is the daughter of a Russian princess.
 
Then the confession: she rescued me.  This is never far from Natalya's mind and should never be far from ours.  I reminded you because I don't want you to forget--it's like Aksinya's hair.
 
Aksinya's response a gentle, hush.  Aksinya realizes what is in Natalya's mind, or she thinks she does.  
 
I just finished writing the pivotal scene in the novel.  It happens in chapter 15.  It is chapter 15.  I've been thinking about this scene and driving toward it for weeks. I have many notes that I must now resolve with it and improve it.  It is specifically the scene that will lead to the resolution of the novel.

A New Novel, Part 47 The School Tour

So we begin the tour of Sacré Coeur with RM Kluge.  We can't forget that Sacré Coeur is a convent and a school.  We learn some more details about it.

The Reverend Mother led them from classroom to classroom. They saw girls of every age from as young as six up to twenty-one. The classrooms were small and comfortable. The classes were rarely larger than ten girls. The teachers were nearly all nuns. The Reverend Mother explained, “Our day begins with chapel. The priest of our church, Sacré Coeur, is Father Abend. The Father also acts as the chaplain for our order and for our school. He officiates on most days and the sisters and students take turns with the details of the service. We have communion every day... ”


Aksinya interjected, “The Lady Natalya and I are Orthodox and not Catholic. We will not be able to commune with you.”

“There is an Orthodox church a couple of blocks from here. They cater already to many Russians who have escaped to the west. You will be allowed to attend there as you desire, but I must insist you be present for our chapel each day.”

“Of course.”

The Reverend Mother smiled, “Good. Our school, a gymnasium, is broken into classes divided by ability and not by age. We teach primary and advanced subjects including philosophy, languages, history, mathematics, art history, religion, science, literature, as well as culture and domestic skills. For those ladies, like the Freifrau Bockmann, our classes prepare them for their future responsibilities among society. For those others who continue on to the university, our classes provide the foundation for excellence and success. Most of the young women accepted into universities in Austria and Germany attended our gymnasium. We also provide a means toward vesture as a nun in our order as well as leadership for other orders in the Catholic church.”

Again, we get details about the school.  The class size and makeup, the teachers, the chapel, the chaplain, the communion... Then the reminder, Aksinya and Natalya can't commune with them.  You can guess that Aksinya will have problems communing at all--we will see this.  Then the information about the Orthodox Church close to Sacré Coeur--this is a deliberate foreshadowing.  The Orthodox Church close to Sacré Coeur is a critical point of the novel.  We see that this Orthodox Church caters to escapees from the Russian civil war.  Then RM Kluge tells them they must attend chapel every day, but they may not commune--this is an important point.
 
Then at the end, we get a repetition of some information we already knew.  The information isn't as important to us as it is to Aksinya.  It repeats the fact that she could go to the university.  This tempts her.  Then the other information lets us see more about the importance of Sacré Coeur, it not only provides training for women going to the university, it provides education for women going on to Catholic orders.

A New Novel, Part 32 Questions and more Arrival at Wien

I haven't answered questions for a while.  Here are some comments from a reader.  I'll include the next installment at the end.  My comments are in italics

Enjoyed your recent installment on Daemon. Though wondered a few QS about the story's timeline, travel to Záhony, dev of 2 women's relationship, and Q's about the demon... lurking in the background: observing, orchestrating, manipulating, etc.


Q's regarding timeline:
Based on your hint,"The old order of White Russia still reigned", and, your winter scenery, I'm wondering about about the story's exact date (month). Is the rail travel to Hungary occurring in late Feb/early March 1917, after February Revolution of 1917, or, 8 months later, after the October 1917 revolution. (Can't remember; maybe you provided clues already.)
I originally set the story in the summer/fall of 1917.  I later moved it to November 1918.  The reason was to put the story in the middle of the Russian civil war and just after WWI.  I didn't want the characters to have to travel during WWI.  Plus, this gives me an opportunity to tell a little more about the Russian civil war--it lasted longer than many think.

Also curious about travel to Zohony? As I recollect, is that the small town in Szabolcs-Szatmár-Bereg county, in north-eastern Hungary, bordering modern Slovakia, Ukraine and Romania...which back in WW1, was bordering the Russian Empire?
Yes, according to my maps and research, it was a major railhead at the time and a natural triple point of the three nations.

I'm guessing it's late Feb/early march 1917; ie, after abdication of Tsar Nicholas II, still in early stages of 1917 progressive collapse of Imperial Russia..ie, pockets of White guard loyal to Tsar N. out in the countryside;Tsarism, yet be replaced by the Russian Provisional Gov under Prince Georgy Lvov, yet to be see political fighting/drama/massive bloodshed in Russia, in October 1917.
A little later--see above.
Regarding train travel:
Enjoyed your descriptions of rail travel westward across part of Russia to Hungary; seemed very authentic. Particularly liked the physical dialogue, and descriptions of rail car & environment.
I had a chance to ride the rails in Europe.  I take my experiences and project them.  The rest is based in research on travel during the time.

Also thought the dialogue/relationship btwn women was very interesting....excellent character & plot development. Liked the underlying tension, with demon lurking in the background; listening, planning, conniving.

Liked the way you employed the 'prayer beads' & old lady prayers, in A's travel disguise, to hint at the power of the spoken prayer, which both girls voiced w/out full comprehension, and the impact on the demon; prayers, which he sought to stifle, silence, etc. But A cleverly described as part of her costume; I suspect, feigning ignorance on the affect it has on the demon.
Thanks for pointing that out, so I didn't have to.  I miss some of the revelations.  I'm glad you pick up on them.  That is a good sign for the basic writing.
Q's regarding Zohony & Hungarian reception of travelers:

You said: "Zάhony was a city being rebuilt. And, indicated the town was war torn and weary. And, said the old order of White Russia still reigned.
This is obviously something I need to clarify.  I meant that the Russian side was where they left the train and went through customs.  Both sides were rebuilding, but the Hungarian side is where the city is.

Is that 1st part, "city being rebuilt", accurate? And, why would the 'old order' of White Russia still reign in Hungarian town? A metaphor for (local Hungarian society) deferring to (old) tradition, ie, Russian aristocracy. Or, does White Russia actually have political/juristicional influence in that railway border town, in Hungary, And, why would they be afforded a reasonably good or safe reception...in consideration of their inbound travel from Russia?
Sorry need to clarify in the writing.  The Russian customs and "White" Russia is on the Russian side.  Russia is in a civil war and neither side is winning--at the moment.

My recollection: after the Austro-Hungarian Compromise of 1867, when the dual Monarchy of Austria–Hungary was in effect, large parts of the backward Hungarian economy (probably including around Zohony) were being rebuilt; maybe extending into early 1910s +/-.

But, than, WW1 comes around. And, the situation changes. Remember, it was with great difficulty, that the Central Powers (German Empire, the Austro-Hungarian Empire, the Ottoman Empire, and the Kingdom of Bulgaria) stopped and repelled the attacks of the Russian Empire.
Now, I'd think that means, that there would be heavy WW1 fighting along the front lines where Hungary bordered Russia; and, especially fighting for control of the rail-lines btwn Russia/Hungary.
Further, my understanding, circa 1917, the Austro-Hungarian Empire was busy withdrawing from all defeated countries; not rebuilding cities, or towns...especially along the Russian border.
So than, if Zohony is indeed a small railroad town right on the border region of Russia (Ukraine), and the characters in the story are arriving there in 1917, near end of WW1, shouldn't it be more impoverished, destroyed; certainly not being rebuilt.
I need to clarify.  This is why I reset the time to November 1918.

And related question, shouldn't we expect to have more tension between the Hungarians soldiers & local citizenry, and arriving travelers (heading westward) from inside the Russian Empire? Whether dressed in disguise as gypsies or poor Russian folks (under spell) or, later, dressed as Russian aristocrats? Pretty clear, they are inbound from Russia. Just curious?
Same as above.

Is it an important or unimportant railway town? A layover, only? Can't recall hint in earlier postings; are you heading towards another Hungarian town, (modern) Romania, or Western Europe...for girls to integrate w/ aristocracy, and practice their sorcery? FYI, I did like the use of 'French' as spoken language, very clever hint of aristocracy, etc..
Thanks.  French was the official language of the Russian aristocracy.  That's why I used it.  One of the characteristics of my writing is to use language as an indicator of culture.
Regarding neighborhood/environment they travel thru:
As previously said, like your descriptions of their travels; but, wondering about the historic authenticity, ie, post WW1, Hungarian town, probably part of the front, in Hungarian fight against Russian Empire. And, are you going to delve further into the circa 1917 historic context (in Hungary, and Russia). ie, era's economic, social, military & empire upheavals? Is that central to the story, or not?
For example, why didn't you have an episode with them directly encountering a revolutionary, or another person on the train? Could have added interesting tension, and plot or character development. Now that they are into Hungarian territory (Central power) will they encounter any retreating Russian White troops along the border? Or, any Austrain-Hungarians, or Germans? Could such an encounter be useful, in developing your storyline, or ancillary?
This is a good point.  I may add this in the next edit.  I really wanted to downplay the travel and give only a taste of it.  The reason was to not detract from the main storyline.  Sorry, because of the time, the war had been over for a few months and longer if you count the Russian pullback.
Regarding dialogue between N & A:
Also, very fascinated by depiction/dialogue highlighting t the 'class' distinction' and evolving relation btwn Natalya & Aksinya...the former, holding Aksinya off (imploringly), and the latter, wanting (demanding) a friendship. Is, or has Aksinya already decided, she needs to confederate w/ Natalya, against the demon...or, just her desire for friendship? Also, looked the way you had Natalya keep her back away from Aksinka, too....to hide the shame of scars from past whippings, etc. Can't figure out yet if Natalya is (truly) beaten down, or playing a role...with ambition of her own.
Finally, Regarding Demon:
Very surprised the Demon hasn't sought to use Natalaya's shame (of her whippings) to directly manipulate her; but, instead is concentrated on working thru/on Aksinya. Any reason why?
Thanks, yes, the demon is slowly playing them because he has no need to press Aksinya yet. Notice, he doesn't go after Natalya directly or obviously. The focus of the demon is Aksinya. We will see how he uses Natalya in the future. I do plan to use the whipping threat, but mostly against Aksinya--she fears the idea of hurting Natalya.  This is an important revelation.


Here is the next bit:
Just as Lady Natalya finished dressing Aksinya, the demon pulled open the door again, “Countess, lady, if you will follow me, I have everything prepared for you.


Aksinya raised her eyebrow, but she stood. She stumbled and Natalya steadied her, “Thank you, Lady Natalya.”

The lady smiled. She placed the wonderful green hat with a slight black veil on Aksinya’s head. It masked her poorly cut hair. Natlaya picked up her sewing and the dress she was working on. Asmodeus reached out to take them both from her. He touched the shoulder of the dress and his expression changed. He almost dropped it.

Aksinya took a startled breath.

Natalya yanked the gown away from the demon’s hand, “Only I handle the countess’ clothing. It is my duty.” She stopped a moment to tuck the dress away with the sewing. The demon grasped the sewing case and it disappeared into his chest.

Aksinya slowly let the air out of her lungs.

Asmodeus turned toward her, “Is there something wrong, countess.”

Aksinya shook her head.

The demon smiled slyly but continued out of the compartment. The ladies followed him.

I thought you would like this short piece where we see Natalya's automatic reaction to her small responsibility being taken by the demon.  Does the demon suspect anything.  I leave it open.

A New Novel, Part 25 Preperations for Travel

The relationship between Aksinya and Asmodeus begins to change.  This is what you should be observing.  Natalya in the mix becomes the major difference.  Note how she reacts and remember, only Aksinya can really hear and fully understand the demon's words--or so the demon tells her.

A solid knock came at the bedroom door and it flew open. Asmodeus strode into the room.

Aksinya didn’t look at him, “You should at least wait until you are invited in.”

“I heard my name mentioned.”

“You were mistaken. Where have you been?”

“Taking care of your business, countess.”

“And that would be?”

“Our travel arrangements.”

“The next time you arrange for my room, ensure there is a sitting room.”

“My choice doesn’t please you?”

“A countess and her lady should have a sitting room. Then you will not be able to burst directly into her boudoir.” Aksinya carefully blanked her mind, “I would also like some things from my baggage.”

“Yes,” the demon’s voice was silky.

“I need my mother’s jewelry box so I may make some choices before I step down to supper.”

“You are not going anywhere for supper.”

Aksinya whirled around with a glare.

“There are Bolsheviks watching this inn. You shall not go down to supper. We shall leave tonight.”

“I wish to look through my mother’s jewelry.”

“You may when the time is right. It is not the right time for such frivolity.”

“There are jewels that I may use for enchantments.”

Asmodeus cocked his head in an attitude of listening, “You are telling the truth.”

“Of course I am telling the truth.”

“I will see what I can do. Is there anything else you wish?”

“I wish my sewing things so the Lady Natalya can begin to fit my mother and sister’s clothing to me.”

“Perhaps I wish you to appear as bedraggled as you first stood before me—or like you did last night.”

“Such dress would tempt no one and only embarrass your vanity.”

Asmodeus’ lip rose, “You unfairly judge your enticements. At the proper time, I will retrieve your sewing things from the baggage.”

“Thank you. You might take on a more civil tone when you speak to me in front of the Lady Natalya. You would not want to shame her or you.”

The demon bowed. “Which gown would you like to wear tonight?”

“My green traveling gown and the green padded boots. What will the Lady Natalya wear?”

Natalya ducked her head, “I repaired the back of my blue dress. That will be sufficient.”

Asmodeus smiled, “I took the Lady Natalya’s clothing from her room in the servant’s quarters. She does not have much.”

Lady Natalya spoke quickly, “I had…, have plenty. Three dresses and five petticoats. They were finely made…”

Aksinya put out her hand, “And hand me downs. When we have an opportunity, I will buy you something new. For now, which would you like to wear?”

“My green dress.” She glanced down, “I shall wear green too.”

Aksinya glanced at the demon, “You have your instructions. Are you happy to not have to draw my bath and serve my meals?”

“Yes,” laughed Asmodeus, “And to not sew your clothing.”

“When will we leave?”

“When the sun is fully down.”

So, are the really ready to travel--the demon has his plans.

A New Novel, Part 21 the Lady Natalya

Aksinya was coerced by the demon to use sorcery to call the girl they observed that evening.  Now Aksinya begins the ceremony, and we learn a little more about the limitations of the demon.

When Aksinya first began this business of sorcery, she had to be so careful, and it took her hours to set up everything for a simple enchantment. Now she knew her business so well, she knew the exact and precise steps to properly make everything happen. From years of practice came such simplicity. At the peak of the ceremony, Aksinya cut a sprig of the herb and whispered the girl’s name into it, “Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska.” It was so much simpler with the whole name. Aksinya placed the bit of herb in her brazier. It flared up and the incense caught it. She heard the name quietly repeated as she censed the five corners of the pentagram. A puff of incense went out calling the girl to come. It called her to come here to Aksinya. With a glassy-eyed smile, Aksinya continued to cense the points of the pentagram. Thought she knew one time was enough, she sent out call after call. When the incense was nearly all gone, she put down the brazier and prepared the second part of her work.


Asmodeus glanced at her, “What are you doing now, countess?”

“You wished a show for her. I will make her a display of power.”

“I asked you what you are doing.”

“Read it from my thoughts, demon.”

Asmodeus stood in silence.

“Yes, it is no secret now, is it? Neither your body nor your mind can cross this magic circle. What other things are impossible for you, demon. I didn’t expect a confession from you, but there is much more you haven’t told me.”

“You can’t remain within that circle forever.”

“No, I cannot, but it is enough to know, isn’t it?”

A noise startled Aksinya. She ducked.

Asmodeus laughed, “What do you fear, countess? You have encountered demons.” Then he raised his head and spoke excitedly, “She comes.”

Aksinya stood straight. She was too embarrassed to speak.

A shadow flitted between the tombstones. It moved closer and closer. It was the girl, the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska. She was dressed in the clothing she had worn earlier. She had a light cloak over it. She moved warily and cognizantly. She made her way to the edge of the pavement and stared in amazement at Aksinya. She studied the magic circle and the pentagram. She gazed at everything on the pavement, but she didn’t step onto the flat stones. Finally, she swallowed, “Did you call me?”

Aksinya smiled a wide smile, “I called you, Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska.”

“How do you know my name?”

“I watched you tonight.”

“What do you wish of me?”

“I think you should run. I think you should go quickly away from here.”

Asmodeus stepped from the shadows. He waved his hand, “You will not go, Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska. If you try to move, you will find you cannot.”

The girl stuck her chin forward, “I don’t wish to leave. I want to know why she called me.”

Aksinya scowled at her, “Why don’t you run? Don’t you see the demon before you?”

Asmodeus grinned, “You are an idiot. She sees me as I wish her to see me.”

Aksinya spoke her Latin words and saw a handsome courtier.

Asmodeus addressed Natalya, “Lady Natalya, let me introduce the Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna. She is the one who called you, and she is a most wonderful and powerful sorceress in this world. She can teach you to be just the same as she. She called you here because she needs a lady-in-waiting and an apprentice. Would you care to join yourself to her? Would you like to become her lady and her apprentice?”

As if Natalya was waiting all her life to hear those specific words, she fell to her knees and cried out. The tears were obvious in her voice, “Dear lady, I would do anything to become your lady-in-waiting and your apprentice. If you would only take me away from this place. Please take me away from here and never bring me back.”

Aksinya frowned, “I don’t want you for my lady-in-waiting or my apprentice.”

It worked.  Aksinya's call worked.  All of her spells work.  I think this is remarkable in a storyline.  In most stories about magic or sorcery that I'm familiar with, the magic is tentative and the magicians incompetent.  You have a few works where the magic is real and actually does what it is supposed to.  You will find that Aksinya is very competent at sorcery.  How else could she call a demon.  This is more important an idea than you might think.  If she wasn't competent, you might imagine that she accidentally called the demon.  The point is that she is competent, and she competently called the demon.  Therefore, she is appropriately guilty for her actions.  If it was an accident, you might forgive her--you cannot.   She also competently called the Lady Natalya.  The point here is that Aksinya then tried to thwart the demon's plans.  You will find that she will be unable to thwart him right now, but she is trying.  I thought it was a fun twist that the Lady Natalya wanted Aksinya to take her away.  We will discover very soon why.

A New Novel, Part 20 The Bookstand

In the previous scene, the demon forced Aksinya to the act of calling the girl they had observed.  Now, Aksinya begins the sorcery that will call the girl to her.  It is an act that the demon claims will show the power of Aksinya and convince the girl to follow her.

Aksinya lowered her head, “I will take it on myself. I will do as you ask.”


The petticoats and dress appeared on her body. Her shoes and stockings were suddenly on her feet and legs. Asmodeus himself laid the thick warm mink coat over her shoulders again, “Call the girl. Call her, and you may dine and sleep and experience your erotic fantasies.”

“Zatknis'! Get me my things.” She stomped to the center of the pavement.

The demon lifted his hands and opened the chest. From inside came Aksinya’s staff and her dagger. Her chalk and her candles settled at her feet. A bundle of fresh herbs and a brazier of incense followed them. One of Aksinya’s heavy books sailed through the air toward her. She caught it midair. Aksinya pulled her coat more closely around her shoulders. She glanced from the side of her eyes at the demon, “I want my bookstand.”

“Which one?”

“The one that I used when I called you.”

“I didn’t bring it.”

Aksinya whirled toward him, “Why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t.”

“What else didn’t you bring from my house?”

Asmodeus didn’t speak.

“I order you to tell me what you didn’t bring from my house.”

“Your request is neither evil nor within my desires.”

“I want a bookstand. Steal one for me.”

“Very well. I am pleased to steal for you and add this sin to your account.”

In an instant, the demon was gone. Aksinya knelt on the freezing pavement and drew a circle and a pentagram. She put up a tallow candle and lit her brazier and incense. She cut the herbs with her dagger and prepared to make a calling for the girl. For this simple spell she wouldn’t need a possession from the girl, she had seen her already. She wouldn’t even need her name. The face was clearly set in Aksinya’s mind.

After half an hour, Asmodeus returned with a fine mahogany bookstand. He laid it before Aksinya outside the circle and pentagram. She watched him carefully. She reached out and picked it up and placed it in front of her. She put her book on it and opened to the right page.

“I know what you are thinking, countess.”

“Perhaps you do and perhaps you do not. You are practiced at lying, demon. I didn’t trust you before, and I trust you even less now. Don’t bother me while I am at this work. Tell me the girl’s name.”

“You don’t need her name to do this.”

Aksinya barked, “But I want to know it, and I want to call her by name. That is a surety in this business.”

“Very well. Her name is the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska.”

Aksinya turned a little toward the demon, “Is she the illegitimate daughter of Prince Aleksander Simonovich Andronikov?”

“Yes, very perceptive of you. How did you know?”

“Her patronymic and her family name. There was a rumor in the court about a Lady Obolenska. Does Lady Natalya know?”

“She is pleasantly unaware but suspicious. She only knows her mother abandoned her, and that she is a servant in the house of Prince Aleksander Simonovich Andronikov. She is a brilliant girl whose intellect is well above those she waits on. She doesn’t yet realize she hates them for this reason.”

“Do you know I am beginning to despise you, demon.”

“Only beginning. I though your hatred would be well grounded by now. Wrath is one of the seven deadly you know.”

Aksinya clenched her fists, “Yes, I know.” She pulled herself up to her full height, “You brought me out here to this place. Light my tallow candle. I can’t light it in this wind.”

“I cannot light anything within the magic circle, and I can’t continue to keep it lit when it is inside.”

Aksinya hid her smile from him, “Then find me something to block the wind.”

Asmodeus opened his chest and pulled out a heavy candle lantern. Aksinya recognized it from the cellar of her house. He placed the lantern outside the circle, and Aksinya retrieved it. She put her candle inside and lit it. When each thing was in its place she began to speak the Latin words.

As I mentioned and as a contributor suggested, objects in the text tie the scenes and tie the ultimate secrets Aksinya discovers about the demon.  The question I want my readers to ask themselves at this point is the same one Aksinya is asking herself--why didn't/couldn't the demon bring her bookstand?

A New Novel, Part 15 The Demon's Observation

One point I want you to note in the writing is a technique I use that you could call constant scene setting.  You can see it very clearly in the last piece, but you can observe it in this piece too.  I constantly remind my readers what the characters are doing and what they look like.  The purpose in this is to help the reader visualize the characters.  I can do this with a simple single statement or a little beat--for example, Asmodeus examined his claws.  This reminds you that he is a demon and has claws instead of finger nails.  When I mention something even as simple as this, you remember the demon and visualize him.  In the last example and this one too, I remind you about the chest.  A simple mention of the large chest reminds you that the demon is walking with the chest on his shoulders--first you visualize it, and second, you realize how odd everything is: a demon and a girl walking the streets of Minsk.  It isn't a joke, but reminding the reader puts everything back into context.  One of the things I hate about some writing and especially poorly executed writing is where the author doesn't set the scene properly or remind you about important characteristics in the scene.  You are going along with the narrative and suddenly a character pulls out something and you wonder--where the heck did that come from.  The author could have given a foreshadowing or at least mentioned the object or the whatever before at some point.  This is another reason for constant scene setting.

Asmodeus woke Aksinya. She lifted her head and stretched. The streetcar was almost empty. They arrived on a quiet street well to the west of the city center. It was a wealthy neighborhood. Aksinya recognized many of the names and coats of arms on the large houses. The demon led again when they exited the streetcar. Aksinya complained, “When are we going to stop. I’m hungry, and I want a bath. I’m sleepy. It’s night. We can’t keep walking forever.”


The demon turned his head to give her a look but didn’t stop.

Aksinya glared at him, “I can’t keep walking forever.”

“I wish to finish this business tonight. I do not want to have to draw your bath or serve your food again.”

“Why does this have to be about what you want? You are my servant.”

“Already, I have shown you the things I can tempt you to do. Don’t you realize yet, you are the mistress of a demon. I tempt humans into sin. I have tempted you into sin after sin. I will continue to do this, and if you don’t grant me this simple desire, it will be more than the grave sin of sorcery and onanism that you will be guilty of. You chose this, I did not.”

“Onanism is not a sin.”

“You believe it is.”

Aksinya struggled to catch up to him. He stopped at a very great house. It was fully lighted with gas lights and some electrical ones. Asmodeus stared at the place for a while then he led Aksinya to an alley at the far side. He put down the chest and sighed, “Now, countess, please wait here a moment while I check on your servant.”

“Please don’t be all night. It is getting colder.”

The demon opened the chest and pulled out a heavy long mink coat that had been Aksinya’s mother’s. Asmodeus put it over her shoulders then he closed the chest, “I will not be long.”

Aksinya watched him move toward the back of the house. When he was out of sight, she sat on the chest. After a bit, she curled up on the top of it and pulled the coat close. Her breath came in white clouds. She closed her eyes.

The next scene we will observe Asmodeus choice of servant for Aksinya.

A New Novel, Part 14 In Minsk

Now you get to see Asmodeus use a new technique to get Aksinya to sin.  Watch closely.  I'll start back with the rest of the paragraph.  As you remember, the demon led her to Minsk and they are now traveling in the city--they are looking for a servant for Aksinya.

The demon smiled and turned. He started out again along the side of the road. Aksinya heard a couple of snide remarks, but no one followed them or threatened her. As they went deeper into the city, Asmodeus led her to a streetcar stop. They waited there for a streetcar. Aksinya gladly sank onto the bench while the demon stood beside her. On the way, he had returned to his normal form, at least in her sight. She could not ever forget that he could change his form and perhaps hers. That made her think. “Demon.”


“Yes, countess.”

“How can I see the form you present whenever I want to?”

“Ah, I’d rather not say.”

“But I want to know. I order you to tell me.”

“There is perhaps a phrase in one of your books that would do quite well.”

Aksinya let a Latin phrase trip off her lips. Immediately she could see the demon in his current guise. “That will do satisfactorily. Thank you, demon.”

“And thank you countess. It is indeed a pleasure to see you accomplish sorcery.”

Aksinya sucked in her breath, “You tricked me.”

“Again, yes. You feel desire again too.”

Aksinya blushed and squirmed in her seat, “Not at all.”

The streetcar came up, and they boarded. Asmodeus paid the fare. They rode the streetcar past the city center and out toward the west side. Aksinya sat and Asmodeus stood. Certainly the world changed to accommodate a nearly seven foot tall demon who carried a gigantic chest on his shoulders. He seemed to fit on the streetcar without trouble. The entire world suddenly seemed less solid to Aksinya than ever before.

The trick in the writing is to constantly try to surprise you just as Aksinya is surprised.  I hope these little events sneak up on you.  Are you watching the demon closely--you know he lies, and you know his purpose is to tempt into sin.  If you keep this clear in your mind, everything he does or doesn't do will become very clear.

A New Novel, Part 12 On the Road to Minsk

The next bit.  So Aksinya has been tempted and forced to go along with the demon.  He packed up the house and packed up Aksinya.  They are on their way to she doesn't know where.  He is taking her to the perfect servant he has found.

Aksinya walked wearily behind the demon. He carried a large banded chest across his wide shoulders. In it, so he said, was all the goods and wealth of her family. It was impossible to imagine that such a small space held everything, but she herself had seen her bed and linens and all her clothing go at the last into that chest. Everything. She knew it was possible and that it might be true. Her sorcery books showed her how to make such places to conceal large parts of the world. She knew how to do it herself, but to see it done on such a scale… It was incredible.


The demon didn’t flag. She did. He had served her a fine dinner laid out on her family’s china. That was a few hours ago. Now, she was ready for supper and for bed, and she had no idea where they would stop for the evening—her family’s estate was well away from any large city or town.

Her shoes meant for Paris street were not designed for travel on frozen dirt roads and the snow covered countryside. Her feet hurt, she was cold, and she was hungry. She wondered more than once why they had not taken the carriage. As she understood it, that was also packed in the wonderful chest.

Unfortunately, the horses had been stolen by the Bolsheviks and were not returned. That’s what the demon told her. She wasn’t sure if she should believe him. She trudged behind him with her eyes on the dark frozen dirt road.

“At least it is not wet,” called Asmodeus back to her.

“I’m ready for supper and an inn.”

“You can’t stay at an inn in this part of the country.”

Aksinya was dismayed, “Then where shall I stay—a farmhouse?”

“Don’t worry, countess. I shall take care of your needs. Your first need is for a servant. I know of a perfect one that will meet your requirements—and mine. That is our first step.”

After a short while the frozen dirt road became surrounded by trees and they walked in a forest. Still, there was almost no traffic on it. The road turned abruptly in to stone paving and they entered a large town. The sky was already turning dark, and Aksinya was very tired. People began to populate the edges of the place. Traffic began to fill the streets.

Aksinya ran to catch up to the demon, “What place is this?”

“We are in Minsk, countess.”

Just a short piece from the beginning of chapter 3 to give the travel of Asmodeus and Aksinya from her estate to Minsk.  More to come... 

A New Novel, Part 10 Sin

Next installment is the result of the demon, Asmodeus' temptation.  This is only the beginning.  The first of many temptations and their outcome.  In this one, Aksinya is fully complacent and guilty.  Yet, she was tempted in every way by the demon.

After he left, Aksinya sipped on the rest of the tea. She finally put everything back on the tray and settled back in her bed. She tried to sleep, but the demon was right. She felt every ache and pain. She couldn’t move without pain and the covers on her only increased her suffering. Her nightgown was warm but too heavy. It pressed against her legs and added to her agony. The tray pushed on the covers and the nightgown and added to it. She couldn’t toss and turn, that was too painful. She didn’t dare touch herself. The demon knew that weakness in her and mocked her. She hurt too much for that to be much comfort anyway. She wanted to settle into the bath again, but she knew he wouldn’t prepare a bath again for her until she did his bidding. After a long while, she thought what was the problem with just looking at her books. They would take her mind off her pain and make her feel the power again.

Aksinya sat up. She tried to move the tray to the side, but she couldn’t lift it. She tossed it to the floor and threw off her covers. She lifted her nightgown off her legs. That felt better, but now she was cold. And this was too tempting for her. She put the nightgown down again, but that made her legs ache. Just to read the books would sooth her mind and take it off of her pain. She took up her staff and scooted off the bed. When she moved, it seemed like the ache in her legs decreased and then she wondered if the demon could make that happen. She wondered if he was manipulating her right now.

She made it to the stack of books and examined them. The book she sought was right on top. That seemed peculiar too. She carried it back to the bed and sat up with it. The moment she began reading it, she felt as though her suffering rolled away. There was nothing so bad in the words. They simply described the proper elements and words to heal. She had read and memorized them before. Every time she read these words, whenever she read her books, they eased her mind and heart. She wasn’t reading about curses only how to cure the body using the power of the world. She knew about that. It was her hobby. It was her expertise. Why shouldn’t she use it. The demon didn’t know everything. He didn’t understand her at all. She could use this power without harm. It would only help. She knew it.

Almost without thinking, Aksinya slid off her bed to the floor. She threw back the oriental rug at the side of her bed. She took her special chalk and drew a circle then a pentagram within it. She lit a single tallow candle. One was sufficient for this. She read the words. She didn’t need to. She knew them by heart. She read them anyway, the heavy feel of the book in her hands gave her comfort. She made the cabalistic signs and the sounds. She did it all until she came to the sacrifice part. This was a little tricky. The best sacrifice was a part of yourself. She took her dagger and held it against her hand. She easily and precisely sliced her finger. She had done this so often it was normal for her. The multiple scars on her left index finger was a mute witness to her expertise. The blood fell to the floor and there was a flash. The slice on her finger was immediately gone. There appeared another light scar. The pain in her legs was gone. She raised her nightgown. The bruises were gone, and she felt fantastic. She blew out the candle and carefully erased the circle and pentagram. She put back the rug and slipped into bed. She felt so good she couldn’t help herself. Her desire was uncontrollable. She touched herself and pleasured herself. Then she slept.

This was the point of the demon's mention of sorcery.  The ploy was to point to a future time of study--that was to wet Aksinya's appetite.  The second mention was direct to influence her to act.  He even told her what he wanted her to do, she still did it.  Further, she tried to hide her actions from him.  The final point is that the result led her to lustful thoughts that she acted out.  Certainly not a sin in itself, but the result of her sin and actions.  In this, I tried to depict the perfect picture of temptation.  Since this is the first of many, it should follow a classic plot.

A New Novel, Part 9 Comments on Temptation plus the Reason

I have included some comments from a reader.  I will address the questions and some of the comments in italics.

From a reader:

You're novel, fascinating & original. Though, was wondering, did you get the idea of demon/human dialogue, from the CS Lewis's Screwtape Letters? Regardless, brilliant, and engaging. Betcha, when completed, and polished, it will become a best seller.  Thanks.  I do like the Screwtape letters.


Have several Q's; unfortunately, will be a few days before I can much detail ('cause, I'm swamped at work).

Though, will quickly make a few points:

1. Really like the way you're weaved the story theme, plot & character development together; especially revealing, with the dialogue between demon & the girl. Thanks!

2. Particularly liked the bath scene; like the (authentic) setting, the description (sets mood), and way the girl (mentally) assessed herself; gives the reader a a good (subtle) sense of her locus of identity, her vulnerability, etc. Precise point and this is something that will potentially be fleshed out more in the final.

3. Very interesting/clever how you discuss her sense of loss of identify, with loss of her hair...the only redeeming characteristic that (she thinks) defined her beauty, given to the demon, as surety for contract. Clear, she's mis-guided, by focusing on the external (hair), whilst the demon is focusing on the internal (acquisition of the soul). The maturity/immaturity of Aksinya is a continuing theme.

4. BTW, I also, like the way you used the 'mirror' to allow her to catch image of herself, and characterize herself. Thanks, excellent observation.

5. Brilliant how you turned the demon into a temporary domesticated helper...getting food, drawing bathwater for her. Almost lulls you into a 'false' sense of sympathy for him, domestically caring for her...though, he makes it clear, what his agenda is, etc.  That's exactly the point--we shall see how this plays out.

Must say, I was very surprised, you (the writer) were so straight forward, in having the demon directly suggest she study sorcery. I understand his motive, why, etc.
But, personally, I thought, it was a waste of a great opportunity, to further highlight the demon's cunning, and plumb the depths of the girl's character, and highlight her 1st futile (misguided, toxic) attempt to regain control her destiny, after death of her family; and horrible contract with the demon.
Kindly suggest, you consider unfolding in a more subtle extended manner; gives you a sense of the demons's cunning; perhaps, a dialogue between the girl & demon...
Say, he at the bedroom side of the door, she in the bathroom. She initiates, and engages, in dialogue with him, while concurrently pondering over her current situation, looking at her physical condition, maybe, in the mirror or bath, seeing her physical vulnerability & bruised condition again, & maybe, have a few fleeting thoughts pass through her head...highlighting her state of mind,and emotional vulnerability...maybe, have the conversation trail off....die down...than resume, different cadence, different length of dialogue,e tc.
This is an excellent observation.  I thought about doing exactly this, and in the next cut, I may put this more into play.  The reason I had the demon suggest sorcery to her is to tempt her to sorcery directly.  This will become clear somewhat in this piece, and definitely in the next.  It could perhaps be more subtle and I agree with the comments.  There is a reason for the demon's suggestion...

The point is, through the dialogue, you (the reader) gets the sense that the demon clearly senses her vulnerability, her desire to control or influence her future...so he begins embarks on a elaborate or scheming dialogue with her which culminates in him (obliquely) suggesting sorcery...not directly upfront...but, rather gets her to crave after it herself....the temptation is planted by him, but, she goes after it....so, it seems like her idea, when really it's an infection from him.. Betcha it would add an interesting dimension, to the character development, and story plot.

6. Liked the way, you had the girl say a prayer, for the food brought....some subtle hint of hope, for redemption of her soul. Yes, maybe the prayer was just an unconscious habit, but, it most certainly was picked up by the demon, irritated him, and he tried to invalidate & smother it with condemnation..gives you a great clue, on the condition of her soul...though not innocent, most certainly redeemable... Again a great observation.

Well, that's a few points of feedback on your latest chapter..

But big picture, probably the two most fascinating themes, I've seen woven into your story, aside from the original 'contract with the demon', was your unfolding of the concept of the 'bounding of the demon', and, your unfolding of the idea of 'choice & consequence' that plays out, with the girl making a deliberate choice of the injury she will gets, through her interaction with the demon....but, she doesn't fully realize the ramifications, of either choice, until afterwards.  We will see the demon has more bounds.

The following dialogue was particularly noteworthy:
"You trusted your body and soul to me—you have aligned yourself to a demon. Your soul was harmed, but not your body. I can protect your body, but I can’t protect your soul. You will heal—that is the way with humans.”

As well as the following:
"It already has marked your soul. Such things become like the lustful desires you already know, they are difficult to purge from your heart and mind once they are experienced.”

Alot of truth, to both; especially the second. Ah, the delights of sin are good for a season, but the consequences, can be fore a lifetime, or eternity.
Reminds me of that verse:
"What does it profit a man, if he gains the whole world, but looses his soul." This in some measure is the theme of the novel.

Here is the next installment.  It doesn't get to the full endpoint of the temptation, but it moves toward it and gets to the next point--the purpose of the demon and the purpose he wishes for her.  Additionally, this tells you why he mentioned sorcery while she was in the bath.
“Now, countess, let us plan what you should do. The first is that you cannot stay here.”

“I have nowhere else to go.”
“Foolish lady, we will soon run out of food to feed you and heat to sustain your puny body.”
“You can provide me all these things…”
“At the expense of your soul.”
“I thought you desired that.”
“And at the expense of my reputation. I told you, I do not wish to become your domestic.”
Aksinya laughed, “You already are.”
“I have pride, that is one of the seven deadly sins, you know.”
“So, if you are my domestic it hurts your pride?” Aksinya continued to chuckle.
“This is not funny. I am Asmodeus. I will not continue this way.”
“What can you do to stop it?”
“I will protect you and I will fulfill our contract, but I can make it exquisitely painful for you to continue in this manner.”
Aksinya’s brow rose, “How could you do that. What suffering could you bring me that I haven’t already experienced?”
“Your people and friends will be pursued by the Bolsheviks. I can bring great suffering to them—that is my purpose.”
Aksinya let her cup fall to the saucer, “You wouldn’t dare. I would simply order you to…”
“I told you. I can’t stop this revolution, and I don’t want to stop it. The lives of your friends and your people are nothing to me. You can order all you wish, but I will protect only you. My purpose, otherwise, is evil. You know this.”
“I understand this,” Aksinya ran her fingers through her short hair. She regretted that as soon as she did it. It reminded her of everything she had done already. Meekly, she whispered, “Then what do you wish me to do.”
“First, I must find you a servant.”
“If so, it must be someone you will not harm.”
Asmodeus grinned, “I have the perfect servant in mind.”
“Then what?”
“I told you, you must continue to study sorcery. To do that, you need a safe place to live and work.”
Aksinya mumbled into her teacup, “Where is such a place?”
“There are many such places. I know your mind so I know you have relatives beyond the boarders of this country. They will be willing to take you in and give you leave to live as you wish.”
“You want me to travel?”
“I wish to travel too. There are many places in the world that need more evil. Let us seek such a place.”
“So you can make it like this one?”
“That would not be so safe for you. I’ll settle for a balance of evil as long as you participate in it.”
“I will not do such a thing.”
“You can’t help yourself.”
“Where do you want to take me?”
“In Austria, you have family and acquaintances who will even accept an ugly countess. They hold the aristocracy in honor there and that can become a place for great evil. There is also Germany, but you don’t have any direct relations, and they don’t speak French.”
“What has that got to do with anything?”
“You speak French very well, countess. I must train you up to be an appropriate vessel for evil. You must be able to speak and interact with the people to gain their trust.”
“So you can enact your evil?”
“And you yours. You can improve your German in Austria. I see great things ahead for you there.”
“When do you plan to take this trip, and how do expect to travel with revolution all around us.”
“I could simply carry you.”
“At the expense of my soul.”
“That hasn’t bothered you much in the past, but I intend you to travel by normal means. There is the problem of the servant and of these domestic, human considerations. I don’t want to bother with all your female issues either. I have only had male masters before. They were never such a trial to me.”
Aksinya sputtered, “What if I refuse to go?”
“I told you. I will cause you suffering beyond that which you can bring to me.”
“I cause you to suffer?”
“Your human issues are painful to me. Plus your simple goodness nauseates me.”
“Do I have simple goodness? Do I have any virtue left?”
“Yes, but I will seek to expunge that from you. In time, I shall.”
“By threats and coercion?”
“You will seek evil on your own. I will simply focus your actions so they may provide the most evil. That is my purpose. Now, you will be able to travel tomorrow.”
“How do you know that?”
“You will attempt some healing sorcery tonight. Since I put the thought in your mind, you have thought continually about it. You are already eyeing your books and wondering how you can accomplish it without my knowing. When the desire and the pain becomes uncontrollable in you, you will do it.”
“I am not in pain right now.”
“You are lying.”
“I am lying.”
“You are holding it back well, but since you are clean and fed and have emptied your bladder, the pain has been growing in your legs and thighs. You wish there were something to take care of that pain. You wish me to bring you wine and drugs.”
“I could order you.”
“I would not help you. It would only deaden the pain. I wish you to suffer. That will bring you to compromise yourself. I protect you, I don’t cater to your every whim. Not if they don’t lead to evil. That’s the point, after all.”
“I’ve heard enough. Leave me.”
“Very well. I shall wait outside your room. If you require my help, just call my name. I can aid your sorcery.”
“Get out.”
The demon bowed. He backed to the door and stepped out.
Aksinya stared to throw her cup at him, then thought better of that and pitched an empty dish at him. It broke against the door with a satisfactory crash.

There is indeed more that can be done with subtlety.  We will find out the demon is both subtle and direct.  This is the point of temptation--it is always subtle and direct.

A New Novel, Part 8 More Temptation

If you haven't figured this out, I am slowly feeding you the first cut of this novel, Daemon (working title).  I'm doing it on a whim because in the future, the writing will improve, and it likely won't be published for a few years anyway.  I thought it would be a great project to actually show you how I write a novel.  This way you will get an inside view to how one author actually writes a novel and you will get to see my creative process at close range.  If this isn't interesting to you, the writing should be.  I aim for fun and exciting novels.  I do hope you will enjoy these postings for one or the other reason.  You also get a free read.  I plan for a 100K word novel, so you will have a lot to sink your teeth into.  Right now, I have the whole novel blocked out in scenes in my mind and my little notebook.  My notes are what I write to.  When I am thinking about the novel, I jot down the ideas for the scenes and pithy pieces of conversation between the characters.  These notes provide a broad outline for the writing of the novel.  I don't detail every bit of every scene, and I don't specify every scene, I just have broad notes to guide the writing.  Many transition scenes must be added into the novel to move to the appropriate large and important scenes, but that doesn't make the transition scenes of any less importance or entertainment value.

To catch you up a little, Aksinya called and contracted the demon Asmodeus.  She did it to save her family from the Bolsheviks during the Russian Revolution.  She was too late and her family was murdered.  She was injured through her interaction with the demon and is demoralized by her failure.  The demon has become her domestic for the moment and drew her a bath.  She has problems walking now because her legs were injured.

Aksinya went to the bath. By the way, the date is November 1918 and the place is a Russian country estate.  They do not have indoor plumbing.  They do have tubs and baths.

The tub was high and filled with hot water. She gazed longingly at it and made her way to the side. She felt it to make certain it wasn’t too hot and with the staff climbed over the side and into the water. This was marvelous. For a moment, she felt better than she had in what seemed a long long time. That’s when hunger began to gnaw at her. She was so upset and uncomfortable before she hadn’t noticed it. Now her hunger took her, and like she usually did when she was uncomfortable, she sought something to take her attention away.


Aksinya examined her body. She was undeveloped. That was so obvious in the bath. Her legs and thighs were still bruised, but they were healing. The black and blue marks on her skin were turning an ugly brown. They were going away. She moved her legs. In the warm water they moved more easily than before. She touched herself. They were still painful, but it was less than before. She moved her hands up her torso. Her breasts were nothing like her mother’s or her sister’s. She lingered there for a moment then moved them more quickly before those thoughts came again and touched her face. It wasn’t beautiful. The demon was right. She wasn’t even pretty. Her mother said in time she would gain a degree of beauty, but Aksinya knew that was pity. She was afraid to look at herself after she had given most of her hair to the demon. It was short now and fell to her ears. It was likely ugly as her face now. It had been her only redeeming characteristic before she cut it off. Now she could feel the uneven ends, and she wondered if it would ever grow out again—she had given it to the demon, after all. Finally, she called out, “Asmodeus.”
His voice came from just outside the door, “Yes, countess.”
“Why do you call me that?”
“Because it is true. Your family is dead, you are the countess now.”
“I don’t like you to call me that.”
“Then I shall continue to use it.”
She gritted her teeth, “Why did my legs become so injured when you took me here?”
“I thought I explained that to you before.”
“I didn’t understand it then. Give the a better explanation.”
“Any explanation or the truth?”
“Tell me the truth you horrible creature.”
Asmodeus laughed, “When you took my hand, you reached out to me. I carried you through stone and earth and then we traveled through the cosmos to arrive at the front of your house. Since you didn’t trust your body and soul to me, your body endured that travel. What did you think would happen if you went through stone and earth and the cosmos?”
“But when you carried me, I wasn’t injured.”
“You trusted your body and soul to me—you have aligned yourself to a demon. Your soul was harmed, but not your body. I can protect your body, but I can’t protect your soul. You will heal—that is the way with humans.”
Aksinya thought a bit more.
Asmodeus voice boomed from behind the door again, “You are hungry. You will not heal or survive long without sustenance.”
“I can’t prepare food for myself. I can barely get around my own room.”
“Then I must prepare it for you. I did not agree to become your domestic. We must fix this situation before we continue too far.”
Aksinya laughed at him, “How do you propose to do that demon?”
“I must find you a servant to take care of your needs. Obviously, you don’t want me to have to dress and undress you. You are as vain as any woman. I grow weary with taking care of these human needs.”
Aksinya laughed again, “For now get me some food and place it in my room.”
Asmodeus growled, but Aksinya heard him move in her room.
In a while, the bath became cool. Aksinya let the water out and picked up her staff. She levered herself out of the deep tub and stood shakily on the cold floor. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and turned her head. She looked pale and her face was pinched. It showed her pain and looked haggard. Her hair was as ugly as everything else.
She toweled herself off as well as she could and wrapped it tightly around her body. Then she unlocked the door and peeked into her room. The demon had not returned yet. She took another nightgown from her wardrobe. This was her winter gown. It was wool. She put it on and though scratchy after the smooth cotton of her other one, she felt much better and finally clean.
She got back into bed and laid the staff next to her.
Asmodeus came through the door with a service in his hands. He put the tray in front of her on the bed. It held a hot pot of tea. He poured it for her and lifted the covers from the dishes. The smell of the food overwhelmed her senses. He had made her an omelet and bread. Everything was fresh. She prayed and crossed herself.
The demon made a depreciating sound, “To bless that which was made with a curse is perhaps the act of a fool.”
Aksinya ignored his comment and began to eat.
She ate almost everything he brought her. Then she settled back on her pillows, “Thank you demon. I feel much better.”
“You needn’t thank me, you gave up part of the virtue of your soul and your life to gain that repast.”
“I understand that, but I needed to eat.”
“These human needs…”
“Don’t you eat?”
“Never. I have no need. I have no human needs and no human desires. My only desire comes from our contract and from my desire to do evil.”
“It is not evil to prepare good food or to take care of my needs.”
“It is evil for you to use your soul and life to get them.”
She looked over her cup, “Perhaps.”
“Now,” Asmodeus sneered, “since your human needs are assuaged, it is time to plan. What do you intend to do?”
“I only thought to save my family. Now, I don’t know what to do. You tell me, you can’t or will not help me fight the Bolsheviks. You tell me, you won’t help me fight this revolution…”
“I like revolutions. The evil it brings to the world is pleasant to me.”
“I have no other plans.”
“You must survive. Whether you accomplish the desires of your heart are beyond my understanding or care, but for our contract, you must survive.”
“The desires of my heart…I had but one desire and that is dust and ashes.”
“Then perhaps you will meet my desires.”
Aksinya’s lip curled up, “Your desires are the least of my concern.”
“But your desires are mine. Especially those that are evil and that continue to abrade your soul.”
Aksinya glowered at him, “What would that be?”
“I wish you to continue with your study of sorcery. That is certainly evil.”
“I have no purpose for it anymore.”
“You put years of study into it, and you are very adept. The fact you called and contracted me are the evidence of that.”
“I did not intend to give it up.”
“I thought so. It already has marked your soul. Such things become like the lustful desires you already know, they are difficult to purge from your heart and mind once they are experienced.”
“Shut up! You may know my mind, but you needn’t say such embarrassing things.”
“It is like all human desires. It is what makes you human,” his lip curled up over his fangs. “Humans are so disgusting.”
Aksinya sipped her tea and ignored him.

So you can see the point of the demon's temptation.  He wishes to encourage her use of sorcery, of magic.  He sees this as a simple means to tempt her.  We shall see that this is his primary means to get her to sin.  If you remember, demons lie, you will be able to gain an understanding of how the demon works his own magic of temptation.  His other powers of persuasion will become evident later.  You may have already noted them.  He is playing good cop/bad cop for here right now.  He provides her needs while encouraging her to his own ends.  Note his desire to plan for her future.  He wishes to plan for the purpose of increasing the evil she will do.  This is very important.  Another point of interest is the purpose of evil.  The demon specifically told her that the evil of the revolution was pleasant to him.  The impression is that there is enough evil to go around in Russia right now.  The demon sees more purpose in Aksinya moving from the evil of Russia to another venue.  Will will soon see where and what that new venue is.

A New Novel, Part 7 Temptation

The demon, Asmodeus and the young woman, now, Countess Aksinya.  They are contracted to one another.  In the last installment, we saw more bounds set on the demon. Primarily, we saw the requirements of the contract and additionally the price that must be paid by Aksinya.  She was injured because she chose one and not the other.  She chose to touch the demon, therefore at injury to her body rather than to allow the demon to touch her at injury to her soul.


Then we also saw the excruciating tragedy of the entire novel--Aksinya called forth a demon to protect her family, but her family was murdered by the Bolsheviks. She traded her soul for dust.
 
The final action in the second scene, Aksinya sent the demon to enact her revenge against those who murdered her family.  She stayed in her bed.  I am not certain if I will include this next scene in the novel.  I want to, but it is a little risque.  The point of the scene is to detail the injury to Aksinya and allow the demon to tempt her to heal herself.  His plan is to embarrass her and to get her to eventually resort to sorcery for healing.  So the next scene--beginning of the second chapter:
 
The Lady, now Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna hobbled toward the outhouse just behind the family quarters. She originally pulled out the chamber pot under her bed, but she realized there was no one to empty it anymore. Disposing of human bodies seemed fitting for the demon—disposing of her own waste was unimaginable to her. Her legs were improving, but they were still bruised. She used her staff. It was a long knurled piece of yew. Unusual because yew usually grew straight. She prepared it herself for the work she found in her books. It was a sufficient tool for that work and for this. She still wore her nightgown. It was frilly and cotton, but not too thin. It was insufficient for the cold house and completely inappropriate for a trek to the outhouse. Cloaks stayed on the wall just outside the door into the enclosed walkway that led to the outhouse, but she didn’t have the energy or the time to don one. She was in such a hurry, she hadn’t put on her shoes and the floor was freezing.

Aksinya was shivering, and she almost reached the outhouse when she heard the door open and shut behind her. Aksinya whirled around and lost her balance. Just before she fell, a black shadow rushed from the door to her. At the last moment, she recognized Asmodeus as he caught her. But it was too late. She couldn’t hold it any more. She sat in his hot, black arms in a now sodden nightgown. She tired to stand and couldn’t. She tried to push him away but couldn’t. Finally, in frustration, she cried, “Let go of me. Look what you made me do.”
“I have done your bidding, mistress. What you do you wish now?”
“I wanted to use the outhouse, but now there is no need.”
“Humanity is disgusting. Well there is nothing else to do.”
He picked her up in spite of her protests and carried her back to her room. When he arrived he asked, “Do you wish me to help you with your clothing?”
“Prepare me a bath.”
“You are freezing.”
“Prepare me a bath.”
“You are an idiot.” The demon yanked the wet nightgown over her head and wrapped a blanket around her.
Aksinya blushed, “Don’t ever do that again.”
“I don’t intend to, but I can’t allow harm come to you. You are making things extremely difficult for me.”
“And you for me.”
“Wait here, and I will prepare your bath. I never expected to become a domestic servant.”
“You wouldn’t if you had come sooner.”
“If you had called me sooner, Countess, for that is what you are. All this misery is your doing and not mine.”
The demon entered the bath and Aksinya glared at him the entire time. After a while, he came back out and stepped to her side. Aksinya moved away from him, “Don’t touch me. Get my staff.”
Asmodeus returned with it. Aksinya still glared at him, “Can you heal my injuries? The ones you caused?”
“I can’t heal. Only that guy can do that.”
“Sorcery can heal.”
Asmodeus smiled, “Perhaps you should try that then.”
Aksinya levered herself up and headed for the bath. Before she took a few steps, she had lost the blanket. She ignored that and continued into the bath. Inside, she closed and locked the door. She just ignored the door on the other side. She didn’t have the strength to hobble over to it and lock it.

So, you see Aksinya's embarrassment and her desire to be uninjured again.  The demon just planted in her mind the idea that she should use sorcery to heal herself.  This will become the motive for every incident the remainder of the novel.  The demon's desire is for Aksinya to sin.  Aksinya's desire is to not continue to sin.  He uses her weaknesses against her to convince her to act as he desires.  Perhaps I gave too much information at the beginning.  I need to work on this scene a little more.  I'll give you the rest of it next time.

A New Novel, Part 2 Answers to Questions

A good friend of this blog and an intellect I really respect put these questions to me based on my "writing about writing" and the new novel I'm writing now and writing about (sorry, run-on).  I'll answer the questions using italics.

"Enjoyed your writing workshop; greatly. Will follow your progress, as you can make time for the story.

Before asking about themes in your new book,I have a few Q's to ask. If you're willing, please explain your primary motive for writing:
1. Desire to explore/record significant event or experience?
2. Desire for sharing experience/in sight with an interested group?
3. Desire for free individual expression which contributes to mental and physical health.
4. Desire for creating a production novel vs a work of art...ie, recognition, fame or fortune?
5. Any combination of above.. which, ranked?
This is a great question and the answer is relatively simple.  The first is I love to write, and I love to tell a good story.  Put the two together and you hopefully get a great novel.  This is obviously too simple an answer because even if you love to tell stories, your motives, as an adult, are much deeper than that.  The longer answer is that I want to entertain and at the same time present material that when the reader gets to the end, they don't say, "That was a great story, but I didn't take anything away intellectually."  I seek to write novels on multiple levels that present information by multiple means.  (The end of this is that I need to spend at least a short series on my motive for writing.)  The direct answer to the question above is 6. To create a piece of art in words.  I want my novels to be enjoyed and enjoyed and enjoyed.  I want the readers to love the story so much that they go back to find all the tiny details I lovingly put within it. 

When starting a new novel: how much time/detail & physical documentation do you put into your story's outline (framework)concerning the story's primary & secondary themes, primary & secondary narratives, plots, main/secondary characters, character's physical vs emotional vs intellectual world. How carefully, and rigorously, do you look at the way reality is (going to be created) in the works of fiction?
I'll answer this by example, and you will see it unfold as I write Daemon (working title).  For this novel, I already have spent at least 3 or 4 years of research.  I'll talk about that a little below.  I chose the period and the country for a couple of reasons.  The first is I know a lot about Russia and the Russian revolution of 1917.  The second is I needed a backdrop for the theme I am creating.  The theme is one of redemption and I needed a plot that supported it.  The events of the Russian Revolution provided that backdrop.  The basis of research for the novel was complete before I had the idea to write it.  I had the idea for the theme first and wrapped it in the plot I started to describe.  Within my imagination, I have been building the details for a few weeks.  Before I set ink to paper (electrons to virtual paper), I already had an idea what the characters looked like and their personalities.  I knew what the world was like because of my reading and research.  The trick from that point was to actually put it to paper.  So the exact answer is there is 3-4 years of research, an idea for a theme, wrapping the theme in a plot, thinking about the plot long enough to generate the characters, notes on the first scenes, and finally, beginning to write.  Since the storyline falls out of the plot which falls out of the theme, the work only needs to be fleshed out.  I do that by scene and I'll give more details as I move forward.  By the way, the details and the secondary characters usually get researched as needed.  For example, I need a name for Aksinya's servant.  I have some sites I have used for other novels about Russian names.  I'll use them to pick an appropriate name. 
Do you give much thought & outline, up front, to primary & secondary character development, ie, the specific characteristics of characters or events that shape them or character studies along the way. Stated another way, do you have a good idea of all their strengths, weaknesses & flaws up front, or does it develop, along the way.
For the primary characters, they must be different than any of my other primary characters.  I think I achieve this as well as any author has.  Each of the characters in my books are significantly different than the others--especially the primary characters.  In general, I develop the theme around that character's differences.  That's the point.  The theme drives the entire work.  The character must fit in the theme, plot, and storyline in their own way, otherwise the writing, but not the novel or work is not different than another you might have written.  So about the primary characters, I know them well before they make it to paper, but on paper, they grow from the incipient ideas that formed them.  The secondary characters are similar, but obviously not as carefully formed.  Generally, they all may be formed but not developed along the way.

Do you have a very general or specific targeted audience in mind when you're writing...ie, demographic, age, education, interest, etc.? Or, do you strive to target two or three overlaid or overlapping audiences...say, like a CS Lewis..Narnia chronicle. Child story, adult story, deep theological examination. etc.
Since my only consideration is the theme, plot, and storyline, I don't want my ideas to interfere with any of them.  I don't write for an audience other than I do write stories for adults.  What I mean by that is I write works that have adult themes and contain adult concepts.  That doesn't mean they are salicious, but it means they are for adults.  In my terms, I create art for adults to appreciate.  A child or young adult can read them, but they might not understand or appreciate them (plus, I've been told my vocabulary is relatively large--kids might have a problem with that).   

Regarding your new novel;you briefly said:
1. Circa 1917, child of aristocracy.
2. Father Russian Count,mother Princess. Young (inexperienced) girl delving into the spiritual world, seeking demon to protect her family...wow!
3. What's your primary focus... desire to examine the turbulence of the era? The Russian aristocracy, or the Feb 1916 Rev from perspective of someone in Russian Aristocracy? Or does it have many layers, say, a historic examination, a character study of the girl & an oblique examination at spiritualism, or more specifically, demonology, or the occult?
The era is simply the best setting for this theme.  I intend to include all the details mentioned above to make the world of the novel real.  I'll talk about the specific theme and plot below.

Or, is the use of a 'supernatural' figure, a literary device? Say, simply intended to confront the main character w/ something beyond her normal, physical control or influence?
The use of the supernatural is to set the theme in motion.  Very similar to Faust, but this isn't Faust.  The plot in Faust has been a mainstay of many works.  This is a radical departure from that plot and potentially a new theme from it.

Or, if the demon isn't simply a literary device, but rather a more detailed study on spiritualism, demonology or the occult, will you present/examine demons from a Christian point of view..ie Orthodox Russian Christian? Or another?
I am not a student of the occult except to understand it.  I am grounded in Frazier's Golden Bough and in P.E.I. Bonewitz as well as many other basic sources of ideas of magic in Western Civ.  I have used these ideas in various ways in my works.  It isn't Harry Potter.  By the way, in this world and novel, the demon is real.  He is a real demon, Asmodeus, with a real pedigree (Tobit in the Apocrypha).

You say:
Aksinya is conjuring a demon to protect her family from the Bolsheviks. She succeeds in calling up the demon Asmodeus and contracting him, but she is too late to save her family.
You didnt' say, she contacted him, you say she 'contracted' him...big difference, spelling error, or the proverbial 'deal' with the devil?
She contracted with him.  That is the problem for her that drives the plot and the theme.

Also, you mention, her Mom is from the House of Romanov..last imperial dynasty over Russia from 1613 until the Feb 1917 Revolution...big hint, there.

Through dialogue w/ her mother, or her exploring her mother's family history, are you going to explore slavic aristocracy & patriotism, cultural revival, and panslavist ideas, or examine the tight commitment to (Russian) orthodox faith that was required of Romanovs..to make them 'more Russian?'
Generally all that will be covered in many ways.  The Orthodox faith of Aksinya and her family is an important part of the plot and theme.  From the beginning, her mother is dead, but I might have a flashback or two to flesh out their relationship.

FYI: Go check the background of the 'Holstein-Gottorp-Romanov dynasty and you'll see the Holstein-Gottorps of Russia retained the Romanov surname, sought to emphasize their matrilineal descent from Peter the Great, through Anna Petrovna (Peter I's elder daughter by his second wife. )

And, what about her father...a Russian Count..hum, alot of potential there. He's obviously titled nobility; was it proprietary (actually based on land ownership?) or titular (endowed with the title)? Presume, the former, if he managed to marry a Rom.

Presume, you know, Romanov hereditary nobility was transferred to wife, children, and further direct legal descendants along the male line. In exceptional cases, the emperor could transfer nobility along indirect or female lines, e.g., to preserve a notable family name.

Personal nobility was transferable only to the wife and was of much lower prestige. Unpropertied nobility was nobility gained by state service, but which was not entitled to land ownership.

In addition, the ancient nobility (Древнее дворянство) was recognized, descendants of historical boyars and knyazes.
Anyway...seems like a fascinating start to the story... alot of directions you could take this novel. Those were just some of the different things that came to my mind; when I read your blog today.
Will be interesting, to see how it unfolds."
Good information.  Much of this has been folded already into the plot as I will reveal in later posts.

Ultimately the theme and plot is driven by the fact that the demon's goal is to tempt Aksinya to do evil (in the most simple terms, to sin) so she will lose her soul.  Aksinya's desire is to break the contract and not lose her soul.  The overall point is that she has contracted with a demon though not for her soul.  I want the theme to be redemptive and successful.  Those are the details I'm working out now.