Scenes - Scene Setting, No Revelation

25 February 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, No Revelation

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

Someone caught wind of the hot news in Wien--Ernst asked Aksinya to marry him.  Note the scene setting in the first sentence for time and place.  The characters come next and are also set.  We have a moving scene with added characters, but ones we have been introduced to before.  The tension and release comes from the response of Aksinya, Nataya, the Sister, and the girls.  Each has a role to play here.

When Aksinya and Natalya entered Sacré Coeur on Monday morning, every eye in the school followed her.  At chapel, the girls and every sister watched her carefully.  Aksinya ignored them all.  She had to leave before communion, but the tea Natalya made for her between chapel and the first class settled her stomach. 

The moment Aksinya and Natalya entered their German classroom, Anna Pfaff followed by the rest of the girls in the class surrounded her, “Countess, we heard that Herr von Taaffe has asked your hand in marriage, is it true?”

Behind them, Sister Margarethe’s face fell.  She mumbled, “I didn’t know.”

Aksinya began to push her way past Fraulein Pfaff to her seat, but she suddenly thought better of that, “Where did you hear such a thing?”

“The rumor is all over the school.  Please tell us.  It is so exciting…”

Aksinya glared, and the girls took a step back.

Anna continued with a trembling stutter, “We are all so happy for you—that is if it is true.”

“I don’t like my personal business shared about, but I will tell you, it is true.  At Graf von Taaffe’s New Year’s party, his son, Ernst, proposed to me.”

Anna put her hands together, “What is your answer to him?”

Aksinya growled, “That is definitely my own business.  I have not made my decision.”

Natalya grimaced, “She is to give her answer to him next Monday.”

Aksinya turned Natalya an angry look, “Lady Natalya, please don’t share such personal information without my approval.”

Natalya cringed, and dropped her eyes.

Anna turned toward Natalya, “Then Lady Natalya, has the Countess shared her decision with you?”

Natalya shook her head.

Sister Margarethe moved a step toward the girls, and stated in a distraught tone, “It is past time to start class.  Please find your seats—immediately.”

The girls slowly broke up and went reluctantly to their desks.

Aksinya stomped to her seat and flopped into it.  She wouldn’t speak to Natalya or to Sister Margarethe the entire class.  

If you look closely, you can see Natalya's change.  She is rebelling against Aksinya.  The reason is Ernst.  Natalya doesn't want Ernst to influence or take Aksinya.  We know to some degree why Natalya has a problem with sex and marriage.  We know she has a problem with Ernst.  The reaction of Sister Margarethe is also interesting.  You note that she doesn't want to loose her Aksinya either.

 

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

A New Novel, Part 164 They Promised to Rescue Me, All They Wanted was My Body

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is drunk.  Natalya is angry.  We learn why Natalya is angry.  While Ernst courted Aksinya everything was well; when he made a claim on her physically, Natalya could not help herself...


Natalya tugged a little harder against Aksinya’s hair.

“Nata, please be more gentle. I’m listening to you. You are only fifteen.”

Natalya’s voice was very hard, “I hate them. They promised to take me away. They promised to rescue me. All they wanted was my body.”

“And you gave it to them?”

Natalya took a deep breath, “To be free from the beatings and hatred, I would give away anything.” She began to brush Aksinya’s hair again, this time much more gently, “You were the only one who would rescue me, Cou…Aksinya. You gave me new life. You don’t know how important that was to me. I would have done anything to be free from what that household did to me. But only you really did anything. The others took me and gave me nothing back.”

“Ernst isn’t like that…”

“They all are like that. He will tire of you, just as they tired of me.”

“They? I am so sorry, Natalya.”

“I am not sorry. I am only sorry that you did not come sooner. I would die for you. I will protect you from this man.”

“But, I’m not sure I want to be protected. I think I might like him. I am tempted by his love.” Aksinya giggled, “And I left the party before midnight.” Her voice trailed off, “Will the new year even come if I’m not there...?”

Natalya continued to brush Aksinya’s hair. She didn’t say anything more that evening.


Finally Natalya left Aksinya alone. With the thought of Ernst’s kisses in her mind, Aksinya tried to pleasure herself, but her body was too drunk to respond properly, and she kept falling asleep.

Natalya confesses that she was abused by the men from her household in Minsk.  We know that Natalya was beaten by the mistress of the house.  She was whipped and forced to serve like a slave.  She wanted to escape.  On the night Aksinya called Natalya, Natalya was beaten until her legs were bloody.  Natalya begged Aksinya to rescue her, to take her away. 
 
We didn't know that Natalya had begged others to take her away too.  She is lucky to be alive.  If her past mistress knew what she was doing, she might have thrown her out or beaten her to death.  The men from Natalya's past told her they would save her.  They told her that they loved her.  She traded her virtue for the hope of freedom and ended up with nothing.  You can see the smart, quiet, usually gentle, beautiful, noble Natalya was under great physical and mental abuse--as Asmodeus stated she was seeking (an understatement).  Natalya was seeking to escape from hell.  Do you remember?  All of Natalya's comments form the past become very clear.  Her statement:  “To be free from the beatings and hatred, I would give away anything.”
 
Now, you can properly evaluate how Natalya views Aksinya, and you can begin to see what Natalya might do.  Aksinya is Natalya's savior.  She is like a god to her.  Natalya worships Aksinya.  Before, in her household in Minsk, Natalya allowed herself to be beaten without much complaint because she has such great control.  With Aksinya, Natalya's power and control is evident.  Natalya would do anything for Aksinya, but Natalya's thoughts and understanding of the world are driven by her past.  Even the words Natalya uses to describe Aksinya are powerful:  "...You gave me new life. You don’t know how important that was to me. I would have done anything to be free from what that household did to me. But only you really did anything. The others took me and gave me nothing back.”  Aksinya did indeed give much to Natalya.  She gave friendship and a kind of love.  She gave Natalya safety.  She gave her a purpose and a place to live and study.  Aksinya blessed Natalya with everything Natalya didn't have before.  We know that Aksinya gave much more for Natalya than Natalya could ever imagine.
 
Aksinya's response to Natalya is naive: “Ernst isn’t like that…”  Aksinya doesn't know much about Ernst at all.  We don't either.  We only know Ernst from his actions, and those aren't very destructive, but they aren't super encouraging either.  Natalya's response only gives us more information.  There was more than one man in her life who promised to take her from the abuse she faced in Minsk.  They all discarded her.  Then Natalya makes a very important promise to Aksinya:  "...I would die for you. I will protect you from this man.”  This is a foreshadowing and important information.  Aksinya should be listening closely, but she is drunk.  It is not certain she will remember this conversation at all.  She is tempted by Ernst's love.  This is something Natalya is completely opposed to.  Aksinya's last words are a kicker--“Will the new year even come if I’m not there...?”  This is also a foreshadowing.  The number of people Aksinya has touched in her short time in this city is astounding.  For Ernst, the Graf, the Freiherr, the Freifrau, the Reverend Mother, Sister Margarethe, the Abbot, the Cardinal, and Natalya, Aksinya is entwined dangerously in their lives.  If she were to suddenly disappear, the New Year for them all might indeed come.  The danger isn't that Aksinya would be gone, but rather that she is here--and the demon.
 
I give you a final glimpse of Aksinya.  The metaphor in her actions and her situation should be evident.  Her descent into luxuria makes her own private perversions impossible.  She hasn't fallen as far as possible yet, but this is an easy sign of where she has come.  This is also the end of chapter 13.  Tomorrow, we begin chapter 14 with scene setting and chapter setting.

A New Novel, Part 163 After They Take You to Bed, All Their Love is Forgotten

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Ernst delivers Aksinya and Natalya to their door.  Aksinya promised to speak to Ernst tomorrow...when she gets up late...with a headache...

Natalya shut the door.

The two maids came to them and immediately began to remove Aksinya’s clothing. Aksinya required the help of all three. They put her into a hot bath. Natalya stood half undressed in the center of the sitting room and directed them. The maids readied the nightclothes Natalya instructed them to get out of the small trunk they had brought on the coupe. The footmen had delivered it to the room earlier. While Aksinya bathed—with the door open, so Natalya could keep an eye on her, Natalya had the maids set out Aksinya’s and her clothing for the morrow. The maids pressed their gowns and hung them. By then, it was time to wrestle Aksinya out of the bath and put her nightgown on her. While Aksinya lay on her bed, the maids helped Natalya out of her clothing and into her nightgown. They had already warmed the beds and checked the coals again.

At the end, Natalya had them lay Aksinya under the covers, but they propped her up on the pillows so Natalya could brush her hair. Natalya finally closed the door on the two of them. Natalya took her brush and sat on the side of the bed. She began to brush Aksinya’s hair. Aksinya’s eyes were closed, but Natalya knew she wasn’t sleeping. Aksinya didn’t open her eyes, she stretched her hands out in front of her. Her voice was only slurred a little, but her accent wasn’t evident because she spoke Russian, “Nata, no man has ever told me that he loves me.”

Natalya gave a fierce tug on Aksinya’s hair.

“What was that for? Be more gentle, Nata.”

“You have a lot to learn mistress.”

“Aksinya. I am Aksinya.”

“Yes, Aksinya. You still have a lot to learn.”

“About what?”

“About men. The first thing they tell is that they love you before…before…”

Aksinya’s head lolled, “Before what?”

“Before they take you to bed—then all their love is forgotten.”

“How do you know?”

“The number of times…”

“Number of times. You haven’t?”

Natalya tugged a little harder against Aksinya’s hair.

“Nata, please be more gentle. I’m listening to you. You are only fifteen.”

If you remember, Natalya is in charge.  Aksinya is drunk and slowly sucumbing to inebriation.  The Graf has assigned two maids to Aksinya and Natalya.  For the times that is very impressive.  Aksinya needs the help of both maids and Natalya.  I give you details of the preparations for bed and the next day.  Natalya keeps the door to the bathroom open so she can ensure the drunk Aksinya will not drown in the tub.  Remember, in this day and time, rooms were always cold in the winter.  That's why the fires, the bed warming, the hot bath before bed. 
 
Natalya had the maids sit Aksinya up in the bed so she can brush her hair and get her ready for bed.  Natalya has been angry all night.  She wants to speak to Aksinya.  Aksinya wants to talk to Natalya.  She begins:  “Nata, no man has ever told me that he loves me.”  Natalya's response is to be rough in brushing Aksinya's hair.  We know this means she is angry and agitated.  Perhaps we will find out why Natalya is angry. 
 
Aksinya isn't very tactful either.  She snips at Natalya.  Natalya tells Aksinya that she has a lot to learn.  The a lot to learn is about men.  We knew that.  Aksinya is clueless about men.  We also knew there was something about Natalya's unusual maturity, knowledge, and comments.  Natalya is going to take this opportunity to teach Aksinya...about men.  We knew Natalya was abused, but this is new.  You might have guessed.  Her advice to Aksinya:  “Before they take you to bed—then all their love is forgotten.”  Natalya's response tells Aksinya and us that many men have told her they love her and have taken her to bed.  Natalya is only fifteen.  She was abused by many men.  We find out why tomorrow.

A New Novel, Part 27 Abuse and Disguise

The last time the demon tempted Aksinya, he used physical discomfort and threats to "win" her over.  If that works, why not use it again.  As I mentioned, the "puppy" method is very effective.  One of my readers noted that the demon and Aksinya have a classical abusive relationship going.  Ah, yes, so it is.  Is temptation any different than such a relationship.  If you think about the similarities, you will see amazing parallels.  There is much more in the writing that I have not revealed to you.  That wasn't intentional or unintentional.  It's just that I am really busy and sometimes I have more and less time to spare on "revelations."  Plus, some of the revelations of the multilevels of the writing should be obvious.

They only had to walk about a block before the railway station came into sight. It was brightly lit and filled with activity. They approached the station from the rail side. At the sides of a set of tracks, the demon stopped suddenly. He laid down the chest and turned, “The trains are especially dangerous for you, countess. They will be equally dangerous for your lady-in-waiting.”


“Then why did you bring us this way, you fool?”

“I brought you this way to give you yet another opportunity.”

Aksinya’s head dropped, “What do you want me to do this time?”

“My request is simple. I wish you to make an enchantment that changes both of your external appearances. This way you may travel in safety and comfort.”

Aksinya put her hand over her eyes, “If I won’t do it?”

“If you don’t make this magic, you could walk all the way to Austria. Or, I could strip you like I did before.” The demon grinned around his fangs, “I could strip your lady in waiting. Perhaps I could tempt you to whip her. That would be something she is very used to.” Asmodeus leaned against the chest, “In any case, if you don’t make an enchantment, a group of young Bolsheviks will soon come along these tracks. They have been drinking since noon. They will rape your lady-in-waiting and attempt to rape you. I will have to step in to protect you and do your bidding. I suspect you will be so mortified you will ask me to kill them. For rape, I can even torture them in front of you before I kill them.”

“You are cruel, demon.”

“I have been called that many, many times, so it must be true. Quickly, what is your decision?”

Aksinya whispered, “I will do as you ask.” She spoke more loudly, “What of Lady Natalya? Didn’t she hear what you said to me? How you threatened me?”

“Only what I allowed her to hear. She will be very pleased to see you make such a great enchantment. And it must be great. You must make it strong enough to last seven days.”

Aksinya spat at the ground, “Get my things and my book. The great brown one.”

Asmodeus obliged. Natalya stared as Aksinya drew a magic circle large enough to encompass them both. Aksinya placed candles at the five corners of the pentagram. She gathered wax and clay then bits of cloth from a box. She shaped them a little with heads and arms and legs then stuck sprigs of an odd herb in them. She lit the candles and a brazier of incense. When she was done with her preparations, she sat in the center of the circle with Natalya beside her and the book on the stolen stand before her. She closed her eyes, “Listen, Lady Natalya, you must not say anything. No matter what you hear or what happens, don’t make a sound from your mouth, from your vocal cords. This is very important. I will be speaking in Latin. The forms and the words are very important. It is like a word and sacrament in the church. The words are those I must say for the enchantment to work and the implements are sacraments. They are the corporal things that will cause the world to change. Remember don’t say a word.”

Natalya nodded.

Aksinya began to speak. The great book was opened to the correct page, but she didn’t need to look at it. She knew the words to say, knew them by heart. This was one of her favorite enchantments. She could make herself look any way she wished for a long time. The enchantment could easily last at least a week if she desired. She had done that before—tweaked her clothing and her face. She once changed the color of her hair for over a month.

Aksinya moved her hands and touched the clay and wax models she had formed. The words she spoke endued them with the clothing and characteristics she wished to place on herself and Natalya. She picked up her dagger and nicked her finger. She let a heavy drop of blood fall onto one of the wax models. Aksinya grabbed Natalya’s hand. Natalya had been holding it out to her, ready. Aksinya cleanly sliced the lady’s index finger and gently milked a drop of blood from it. It fell on the other piece of wax, clay, and cloth. When Aksinya released her hand, Natalya stared in amazement at the newly healed cut.

Aksinya lifted both wax models and placed them in the brazier. Immediately it began to pour out heavy smoke. She censed Natalya then herself. The scent of the incense was thick and cloying. It smelled of cheap perfume and age. It was heavy like the scent of an old woman. Under that was the smell was sweat and dirt. Aksinya repeated the censing and impressed the words on them both. The brazier suddenly stopped and slowly the thick smoke rolled away.

The demon uses threats this time.  He doesn't even have to force her.  Aksinya acquiesces on her own.  This is the primary teaching of resistance training: don't let your antagonizer, your torturer have easy victories.  Aksinya has given the demon an easy victory.  We will see that this a prelude to some of her resistance.  Don't forget the sewing case. 
 
I also hope you like the revelation of the way sorcery works.  This is designed in the classical understanding: words of power and items of sacrament.  In this we have a reference to the Church.  Obviously, what propels the demon and Aksinya is the world with God.  How would the sorcery work, if it was not a rejection and sin against God.  How can there be demons if there isn't God.  This is the obvious logical conclusion--Aksinya even said it once before.  We will continue to see this theme--it is the point after all.