Scenes - Scene Setting, the Verdict

26 April 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, the Verdict

Announcement: My novels Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness are about to be published. I write this blog about 2 months prior to its publication. I just heard that the proofs will be here soon--likely before the end of the week. My publisher also wants to put the entire set of novels based on Aegypt on contract--that's 5 more novels for 8 total. They also want to put my other novels on contract. The release schedule should be one novel every 2 months. I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

Now we get the verdict of the trial.  As I noted, yesterday, this is not what Aksinya expected.  She knows she is guilty, but somehow, her guilt has been swept away.  If you note rightly, this is part of the allegory of this novel.  It is a part of the theme.  For the reader, it is enough to note the result of the trial--the result is logical and reasonable.  The result is wholly unexpected.  The demon will not be pleased--Aksinya was supposed to go to prison and to the work house.

The doors behind the large desk opened and the judges stepped to their seats.  The Bailiff stuck his staff against the ground, “Hear ye, hear ye, this Schöffengericht shall pronounce judgment in the name of Emperor Charles the first of Austria and the Republic of German Austria.  May the justice of the Lord God Almighty reign in all the affairs of men.”

Judge Richter didn’t sit.  He shuffled his papers for a moment, “Princess Aksinya Georgovna Holstein-Gottorp-Romanov also known as the Countess Golitsyna, the unanimous verdict of this Schöffengericht is that you are not guilty of any of the charges brought against you in this court.”

Aksinya stared at the Judges.  She turned her head toward Father Dobrushin.  Natalya beamed.  Aksinya asked, “What does it mean?  What is he saying?  Am I not guilty?”

Father Dobrushin whispered, “You are not guilty.”

“But I am guilty of something and especially certain sins.”

“That’s not what this court was to determine.”

Aksinya obviously didn’t understand.

Natalya took Aksinya’s hand, “That is wonderful, Princess.  You shall go free.”

Aksinya swallowed against a lump, “I shall never be free, but I am happy not to go to prison.”

Do you see Aksinya's logic is correct--she shall never be free, but she might not go to prison.  There is still one other point to adjudicate.  We shall see where that goes, tomorrow.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

For more information, you can visit my author sitewww.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

A New Novel, Part 323 The First of Many

23 August 2011, A New Novel, Part 323 The First of Many
For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Dobrushin and Aksinya married.  Aksinya and Dobrushin are in Boston, and Aksinya has come to an Orthodox girl's school looking for a job.  The headmistress recognises Aksinya and embraces her... 

The woman before her gave a cry, “Princess Aksinya.”  She rushed around the desk and embraced her. 

Aksinya couldn’t get her breath she couldn’t speak.  Finally, she threw her arms around the headmistress and exclaimed, “Lady Natalya.”

Natalya buried her face in Aksinya’s thick braided hair and blubbered.  They stood together for a long time without saying anything.  Finally, Natalya spoke, “I thought I would never see you again, Princess.”

Aksinya kissed her cheeks, “Dear Lady Natalya, I would never have guessed I would find you here.  Is Herr von Taaffe with you?”

Natalya gave a laugh, “I am Mrs. Natalya Alexandrovna von Taaffe, though not called a Lady anymore.  And you?”

“Father Dobrushin married me although he is not a priest anymore, and I am no longer a Princess.”

Natalya’s moist eyes held Aksinya’s, “You will always be a Princess.  My lady’s maid told me you were looking for a job.”

“Please, Lady Natalya, I’m certain you would not wish to have me around you all the time.  I know I will bring back terrible memories to you.”

“You don’t understand at all Princess.  You are the reason I am here today.  Wait with me for a while.  Let me hear all that has happened to you since we parted, then we will have luncheon with Sister Margarethe, and we will discuss your teaching work in my school.”

“Sister Margarethe is also here?”

“Herr von Taaffe retained her as our housekeeper.  She converted to Russian Orthodox and entered an order in the United States.  Our school is loosely affiliated with Saint John’s.”  Natalya held Aksinya at arms length and looked her over, “Dear friend, we have so much to talk about and so much to share.  I do love you, Princess.  I want you to remain with us forever.”

“In spite of everything that happened?”

“Because of everything that happened before.  That time marked the end of a horrible and wonderful period, yet redemption came to you, to me.”  She held Aksinya close, “I could not bear to lose you again, Aksinya.  You redeemed me, the first of many.  You shall redeem many more.  God exceeded our expectations in spite of what we had done.”     

- The End -

This novel was all about loss and what people are willing to give up for their own desires.  Aksinya did indeed lose her old life.  She lost her position, her money, her goods, her family, her friends, her sorcery.  She lost literally everything.  She gained salvation, and lost the demon.  We recognise the things she gained and the life she gained in spite of the losses.  I wanted to convey this in this scene.  I gave Aksinya back her two closest friends because I wanted to remind you that this novel was also about salvation.  Aksinya found salvation in spite of the demon and in spite of who she was and what she had done.  She paid a high price for the salvation, but in retrospect it was a lot less than her savior.  I mean that about both her saviors.  Dobrushin became her savior from a physical standpoint.  He saved her from all the harm she had brought upon herself.  Her other savior was Christ.  Even though everything seemed to be contrived against Aksinya, ultimately, Christ provided spiritual salvation and eventually freedom from her demon.

Do you remember that I told you this novel was about the demons we all carry.  Aksinya's demon was just more real than most of ours.  This novel was a novel about redemption on many levels.  The redeemed was the one who seemed the least likely to have any hope, yet she, Aksinya was redeemed--and along the way, she did redeem others.  This is the point I wanted to make in this final chapter.  It does no good if your efforts only benefit yourself--even salvation.  In this way, salvation is both individual and communal.  The salvation of the individual leads to the salvation of the many.

In this piece, we see Natalya.  She is unbroken, but she carries the scars of Aksinya's beating.  Aksinya carries scars as well.  Natalya embraces Aksinya.  They are both overcome by the meeting.  Natalya buries her face in Aksinya's "thick braided hair."  Do you ever think I could let you forget the hair.  This is the symbol for Aksinya's contract with the demon.  Natalya gets to see a whole Aksinya for the first time.  Aksinya's first thought is for her friend: "Is Herr von Taaffe here."  Natalya is not a kept woman, she is a wife with rights.  I let you know that she and Ernst had to give up something--she is not called a Lady anymore.

Then I remind you of a little that Aksinya and Dobrushin have lost.  That's when I get to deliver the clincher.  Aksinya states:  "I’m certain you would not wish to have me around you all the time.  I know I will bring back terrible memories to you.”  Natalya's response: “You don’t understand at all Princess.  You are the reason I am here today."  We discover that Sister Margarethe is also a teacher at the school--do you remember Stacy's tormentor. 

Already Aksinya has a job.  Now we find that some of the damage that was done to Natalya, Ernst, and Sister Margarethe has been blunted.  Nothing can ever return to the way it was, but it can be better.  Not everything is resolved.  Not everything is made right, but in spite of the pain and suffering, as Natalya says: “Because of everything that happened before.  That time marked the end of a horrible and wonderful period, yet redemption came to you, to me.”  She held Aksinya close, “I could not bear to lose you again, Aksinya.  You redeemed me, the first of many.  You shall redeem many more.  God exceeded our expectations in spite of what we had done.”  

This is the message that I wanted to leave you with.  No telling allowed, but if you didn't get it in the rest of the novel, I wanted to make certain you didn't miss it here.  This is the kicker at the end--it should conclude and leave the reader with the theme:  "You shall redeem many more.  God exceeded our expectations in spite of what we had done.”  It is faith based, but hey--how can a novel so deeply involved with the spiritual not be faith based.  I hope you have enjoyed it.  I'll get into the next step details tomorrow.

A New Novel, Part 280 Smile at Every Opportunity

11 July 2011, A New Novel, Part 280 Smile at Every Opportunity

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya was found not guilty and released to the custody of Father Dobrushin.  They say goodbye to Natalya and make their way out of the courtroom...

Natalya hugged Aksinya, “I have to go, Princess, Herr von Taaffe is waiting for me.”

Aksinya took her hand, “I pray this is not the last time I shall see you.”

“If it is the last or not, I will never forget you, Princess.  Go with all the blessings of the earth.”  She moved quickly to where Ernst von Taaffe stood at the side of the room.  He made a slight bow toward Aksinya, but he didn’t smile.

“And all the blessings of the heavens,” Father Dobrushin continued for her.  “Come, Princess, the day is not over and we have work that must be finished before tomorrow.”  He placed his long coat over her shoulders and started for the door.

Aksinya rushed to catch up to him, “What must we do before tomorrow?”

“We will speak about it at dinner.  First, we must negotiate the reporters.  They will take your picture.”

“I look terrible.”

“You won’t look any better if you don’t smile.  I suggest that you hold your shoulders very straight, act like the princess you are, and smile at every opportunity.”

“Yes…yes, I shall.”

“Then come on.”

Aksinya took his arm.  Before they left the Rathaus, Sergeant Nagel brought Aksinya’s blankets and the Greek Bible to them.  Father Dobrushin put them under his arm and carried them for Aksinya.

The trial is at an end, and we think Aksinya has won.  Perhaps in some measure she has.  Could the demon have ever thought that Aksinya could be found not guilty and be released.  She herself seems to realize just how important her freedom is.

Natalya leaves her as both a friend and, to a degree, an equal.  Ernst is waiting for her, and though Ernst can't find it in himself to smile at Aksinya, he does honor her.  Natalya sends Aksinya away with a great blessing.  It is a blessing that Father Dobrushin completes.  Natalya chooses Ernst over Aksinya--this is significant.  We will shortly see someone else who has made such a choice.

Father Dobrushin places his coat over Aksinya and they head for the door--then a foreshadowing:  "...we have work that must be finished before tomorrow.”  Then about the reporters and Aksinya's picture.  Father Dobrushin tells her, they will speak about everything at dinner.  Aksinya is back to herself a little.  She says she looks terrible.  I want to remind you of this.  She doesn't think she is very pleasant to look at already, and she has not bathed or changed her clothing in weeks.  Even in this time, she must present a terrible picture.  Father Dobrushin advises her to smile and continue smiling.  If you look terrible, you might as well try to look the best you can. 

At the end, I don't want you to forget about everything that has gone before.  Everything is not over yet--the blankets and the other things from Aksinya's cell remind you of that.  Plus, Captain Gerber hasn't returned.  Nothing happened to him, but he hasn't found Asmodeus.  Tomorrow, dinner.

A New Novel, Part 279 He Gave Me into Your Custody

10 July 2011, A New Novel, Part 279 He Gave Me into Your Custody

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is on trial in Wien, Austria.  The judge brings up the question of Aksinya's immigration status and international requests to extridite her...

The judge continued to speak.

Aksinya almost clapped her hands together, “Now he will tell me the truth about my guilt.”

Father Dobrushin shushed her.

Judge Richter stated, “Although, this Schöffengericht finds the Princess Aksinya not guilty, the State of Austria has received international letters concerning the Princess.  Both of them request her return to Russia, one for political reasons and the other as extradition for criminal prosecution.  The State of Austria has asked me to make a recommendation and a judgment based on the case at hand.  Since this is not directly related to the charges, only to any potential sentencing, there is no reason for the prosecution to respond.  Defense councilor would you like to make a statement in regard to these requests?”

Father Dobrushin stood, “Yes, Your Honor.  I have reviewed both letters as well as the laws of the State of Austria as it applies to this circumstance.  It is not in the Princess’ best interest to entertain either request from either Russian claim to authority.  She desires to continue as an émigré in Austria and be allowed self-determination in all related issues.  If the court will not grant her this freedom then she is willing to petition the State of Austria for asylum.”

Judge Richter wrote on the paper in front of him, “There will be no need for that, council.  I am granted the authority to reject either or both requests as a recommendation of this court.  It was only in the case of a guilty verdict that the Princess would be extradited to Russia without her consent.  Therefore, by the authority of the State of Austria granted to me, I declare again that you are not guilty of any crime tried in this court and that you are immediately released to the custody of Father Dobrushin Sergeevich Lopuhin.

Aksinya stood and the rest of the court stood.  Aksinya put out her hand, but by the time she could get out a single word, the judges were gone.  She stuttered, “Wait…”

Father Dobrushin asked, “What did you want, Princess?”

“He gave me into your custody—why?”

“I asked for it in the court papers.”

“But why?”

“Because, I want to be the one to help you from now on.  It is official.  You report to me in all issues of your employment, schooling, and living arrangements.”

I continue with Judge Richter from yesterday to move into the piece.  The Court found Aksinya not guilty, but they must also determine her immigration status.  As we see, the White Russians and the Red Russians both want her.  Judge Richter and his court has been asked to make a decision on what to do with Aksinya.  You can guess that if she had been found guilty, she would have been sent back to Russia.  The problem on both sides would likely lead to her death--one would have tried her, the other would have used her as a pawn.

Father Dobrushin cuts off any chance the court might deport Aksinya.  He uses his knowledge of the law to defend and protect her.  The actions of Father Dobrushin are very important as they relate to the Austrian law.

Father Dobrushin's statements lead Judge Richter to repeat his verdict and release Aksinya.  Note, the judge releases Aksinya to the custody of Father Dobrushin.  Now, this is a turn of events, and one that Aksinya doesn't miss at all.  We discover in the ensuing conversation that Father Dobrushin asked for the custody of Aksinya.  This is not that uncommon for women under 21 and indeed could be granted for unmarried women under 30.  You can see that Father Dobrushin has something in mind for Aksinya.  The question is what.  Tomorrow, leave taking.

A New Novel, Part 278 Am I Not Guilty?

9 July 2011, A New Novel, Part 278 Am I Not Guilty?

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is on trial in Wien, Austria.  We discover Natayla is being kept by Ernst.  We also discover that Natalya has been advised by Father Dobrushin.  Aksinya and Natalya may never see one another again...

Natalya laughed, “I have never been taken care of in my life.  I care for others, that is what I am called to do.  That is also what pleases me.”

The doors behind the large desk opened and the judges stepped to their seats.  The Bailiff stuck his staff against the ground, “Hear ye, hear ye, this Schöffengericht shall pronounce judgment in the name of Emperor Charles the first of Austria and the Republic of German Austria.  May the justice of the Lord God Almighty reign in all the affairs of men.”

Judge Richter didn’t sit.  He shuffled his papers for a moment, “Princess Aksinya Georgovna Holstein-Gottorp-Romanov also known as the Countess Golitsyna, the unanimous verdict of this Schöffengericht is that you are not guilty of any of the charges brought against you in this court.”

Aksinya stared at the Judges.  She turned her head toward Father Dobrushin.  Natalya beamed.  Aksinya asked, “What does it mean?  What is he saying?  Am I not guilty?”

Father Dobrushin whispered, “You are not guilty.”

“But I am guilty of something and especially certain sins.”

“That’s not what this court was to determine.”

Aksinya obviously didn’t understand.

Natalya took Aksinya’s hand, “That is wonderful, Princess.  You shall go free.”

Aksinya swallowed against a lump, “I shall never be free, but I am happy not to go to prison.”

The judge continued to speak.

Aksinya almost clapped her hands together, “Now he will tell me the truth about my guilt.”

Father Dobrushin shushed her.

The court returns to session so that the judges may render their verdict.  They find Aksinya not guilty.  We guessed this might be the result.  We hoped for this result, but it wasn't necessarily to be expected.  The demon has perhaps been thwarted, or then again, perhaps not.

Aksinya is surprised by the verdict.  She can't imagine that she is not guilty.  Aksinya thinks in terms of her sin and not in terms of guilt in a court.  We know she understands judicial process, but she is used to noble judgement and a noble court.  Aksinya is expecting more from the judge.  Note the writing techniques I use to show you Aksinya's response without telling you anything.  Tomorrow, more judgement.

A New Novel, Part 277 Are You Jealous?

8 July 2011, A New Novel, Part 277 Are You Jealous?

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is on trial in Wien, Austria.  Natalya told the court the reason Aksinya beat her was that she seduced Ernst.  She followed that with the statement that she never brought any charges against Aksinya in the first place.  This leaves Judge Richter with few options...

Prosecutor Trauen stood and tapped his glasses against his hand, “Your Honor, without any remaining charges, there is no reason to continue this trial.”

“I agree, however, in good order, I wish to confer with the other judges before we pronounce our judgment.  There is another issue in relation to this person that must also be decided.”

Father Dobrushin stood, “Your Honor, I beg you not to make any decision that might affect the freedom of the Princess without conferring first with me.”

Judge Richter nodded.  He stood and led the other judges back through their respective doors.

Natalya moved over to Akisnya’s table and Father Dobrushin gave her his seat.  Aksinya kissed her cheeks again and held her close, “Lady Natalya, I am so sorry for the suffering I caused you.  I do beg your pardon.”

“And, I you,” Natalya laughed, “Tears.  When did you ever shed tears for any reason Princess?  I am afraid that beyond this moment, we will not be able to see one another again.”

“Why is that?”

“You have no household and likely will have none, and I am kept by Herr von Taaffe.”

“And you wish to be with him?”

“I would rather be with you, but Father Dobrushin has recommended against it.”

“Does Herr von Taaffe treat you poorly?”

“No, just the opposite.  He treats me too well.  Almost as well as he treated you before.”

“I see.”

“Are you jealous?”

“I should be, but I am not.  I never loved Herr von Taaffe.  I loved the things he could provide me.  I suspect you never get drunk when you go out with Herr von Taaffe.”

“No, why?”

Aksinya smiled, “What does Herr von Taaffe plan to do since his father has rejected him?”

“He has business ventures of his own.  It is not as great as his family’s, but they are substantial.  He wishes to move away from Wien and pursue this work.”

Aksinya sighed, “So long as you are pleased and taken care of.”

Natalya laughed, “I have never been taken care of in my life.  I care for others, that is what I am called to do.  That is also what pleases me.”

The prosecutor agrees--there is no reason to continue the trial.  Judge Richter declares that he must confer with the other judges and that there may be another issue.  Do you remember, the other issue is that of immigration status.  This could send Aksinya directly into the hands of the red or the white Russians.  This is why Father Dobrushin makes his comment.  He is warning the court that he will not sit still and allow them to deport Aksinya without a fight.

The judges leave and that gives Aksinya time to speak with Natalya.  Aksinya apologizes again to Natalya and Natalya to Aksinya.  Then through the conversation of Natalya, I show you that Aksinya is crying.  I don't tell you--I show you through the conversation.  Then the clincher, Natalya tells Aksinya they shell never see each other again.  We learn that Natalya is being kept by Ernst.  In this culture, to be kept means to be a mistress in the household of.  This is a turn you might not have expected.  It also likely means that Ernst intends to marry Natalya.  Ernst's reputation in Wien and in Austria were destroyed by the revelations of the ecclesiastical court.  His only way to recover some of his honor is to marry Natalya.  The match is good and even with her issues, Natalya is a competent person.

Note that Father Dobrushin has been advising Natalya.  He recommended against returning to Aksinya's household.  You can guess the reasons for this.  The only way for Natalya to redeem herself in the culture is to marry Ernst.  Their marriage will make many things right.  Although Ernst may love Aksinya, and Natalya may love Aksinya, only a match between Ernst and Natalya can clear their social and cultural problem.

Aksinya's next question is how Ernst treats Natalya.  You know if he was cruel or abusive, Aksinya would rescue Natalya.  Natalya tells Aksinya that Ernst treats her almost as well as he treated Aksinya.  This is good and somewhat expected.  Ernst is a gentleman. 

Aksinya is not jealous because she knows she never loved him.  Aksinya has learned about love and she understands herself.  Note the statement about drunkenness.  Natalya was always in control of herself.  Note also that Natalya has been brought into the personal counsels and information of Ernst.

The final part of this is a kicker that characterizes Natalya:  “I have never been taken care of in my life.  I care for others, that is what I am called to do.  That is also what pleases me.”  Natalya is taking care of Ernst.  This is what she means.  She has not changed her love, but she is trying to transfer some of her love toward Ernst.  Tomorrow, the verdict of the court.

A New Novel, Part 276 I Did Not Bring Any Charges Against Her

7 July 2011, A New Novel, Part 276 I Did Not Bring Any Charges Against Her

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is on trial in Wien, Austria.  Natalya is in the witness chair.  She is about to tell the court why Aksinya beat her...

Aksinya stood.  Natalya stood.  Half the courtroom stood.  Aksinya pointed her finger, “Lady Natalya, I forbid you to tell them why I beat you.”

Father Dobrushin pulled Aksinya back into her seat, “The press has already published the reason in the papers.  She announced it during the ecclesiastical trial.  There is no reason for you to stop her testimony.”

Aksinya held her head in her hands, “She shouldn’t have to say it again.”

Natalya sat back down, “The reason the Princess beat me was because I seduced the man she wished to marry.  I seduced Herr von Taaffe.  Because of that, the Princess rightly became enraged.  I deserved to be beaten by her.  I deserved every stroke.  I did not wish to proffer charges against her.  The ecclesiastical court presented them in my name.  I wish for this court to absolve the Princess of every charge related to this.  I know she asked my pardon, and I know from my priest that she has confessed.  I wish to absolutely forgive her and pardon her for this sin against me, because I was the cause of it.  I only wish she could forgive my sin against her.”

Judge Richter pressed his palms against the top of the desk, “Are you certain of what you say Lady Natalya?”

Natalya nodded vigorously.

Aksinya spoke almost automatically, “Lady Natalya, you must speak your response aloud.”

Natalya turned and smiled at Aksinya, “I do mean everything I have said.  I did not bring any charges against her.  I committed a more grave crime than she.  I admit this freely.”

Judge Richter turned to Prosecutor Trauen, “Prosecutor, there are no other charges against the Princess.  Do you have anything else you wish to propose or anything you wish to ask this witness?”

Prosecutor Trauen stood and tapped his glasses against his hand, “Your Honor, without any remaining charges, there is no reason to continue this trial.”

We know already why Aksinya doesn't want Natalya to tell the truth--even though she herself told Natalya to tell the truth, Aksinya wants to be punished.  She doesn't want her friends to be punished in any way.  The demon, Asmodeus, promised to ruin Aksinya's friends--this is what Aksinya wishes to stop, but she can't.  It is too late--the press has already published everything with who knows what gory details.

Then Natalya says the reason--she seduced Ernst, the man Aksinya expected to marry.  This was an enormous cultural, social, and legal problem for the time.  But Natalya goes further, she forgives Aksinya and asks the court to remove the charges.  When the accuser takes back the charges in a court of law and provides a reason like this for the accused, there isn't much the court can do.  It is possible under some legal systems for the state to proffer charges in the name of the injured, but if the injured party absolves the accused of the charges under most legal systems, there isn't much the court can do.  Not only that, in this time and culture, Natalya's actions would be considered deserving of such a beating.  In this case, Aksinya might even be absolved of the murder of Natalya under the laws of the turn of the century.

Thus Judge Richter's response--the injured party is asking that the charges be removed. 

I use the joke about speaking your answers aloud in the court to break the tension and to provide a setup to Natalya's response: “I do mean everything I have said.  I did not bring any charges against her.  I committed a more grave crime than she.  I admit this freely.” 

In this scene we have the absolution of Aksinya and the forgiveness of Natalya.  We know that Aksinya did confess and did repent.  We know that Natalya did repent and was confessed.  We know that all is not right in the world, but between these two people, the world has become whole again.

Thus, the end is the end of the charges against Aksinya.  The judge begins to work the details of this with the prosecutor.  Tomorrow, more problems and more details.

A New Novel, Part 275 I Forbid You to Tell Them Why I Beat You

6 July 2011, A New Novel, Part 275 I Forbid You to Tell Them Why I Beat You

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is on trial in Wien, Austria.  Following lunch, the court reconvenes.  The presiding judge calls Natalya to the witness chair.  Aksinya abjures Natalya to tell the truth...

“Yes, you must testify and ensure you tell the truth, Lady Natalya.”

Natalya nodded and presented a very worried look on her face.

Sergeant Nagel led Natalya to the witness chair. 

Judge Richter put down his handkerchief, “Judges, please don’t let any of the previous conversation or actions cloud your judgment.  I only allowed it because it seemed an appropriate greeting between friends.”  He tried to put on a stern look, “Lady Natalya, please announce your full name to the court.”

Natalya’s voice was soft but clear, “I am the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska.”

“What is your relationship to the Princess Aksinya.”

Natalya put her hands together, “The Count…Princess I mean, rescued me.  No one else in the world would help me, but she did.”

“Rescued you?”

“I was a handmaiden to a noble family in Minsk.  They treated me like a slave.  The Princess rescued me from there and offered me the position of her lady-in-waiting.  She gave me clothing and jewelry.  She cared for me and sent me to school.  She called me her friend and confidant.”

“Can you describe the events of the evening when the Princess beat you?”

“It was the evening that the Princess was supposed to deliver her answer to Herr von Taaffe.”

“Her answer to what?”

“To his proposal of marriage.  Ernst von Taaffe offered to marry her and his father the Graf von Taaffe encouraged the match.  I knew her answer before she gave it.”

“Did she tell you what she would answer the young man?”

“No, Ernst von Taaffe is an honorable man, but he had two very important books that belonged to the Princess.  She wanted them back.  I knew that no matter what happened, her desire for the books would cloud her thinking.”

“What does this have to do with the Princess beating you?”

“This is the reason she beat me.”

“What was the reason?”

Aksinya stood.  Natalya stood.  Half the courtroom stood.  Aksinya pointed her finger, “Lady Natalya, I forbid you to tell them why I beat you.”

Father Dobrushin pulled Aksinya back into her seat, “The press has already published the reason in the papers.  She announced it during the ecclesiastical trial.  There is no reason for you to stop her testimony.”

Yesterday, Aksinya told Natalya to tell the truth.  This worries Natalya.  In any case, the scene is set to hear Natalya's testimony.

Notice how I "show" you the effect of Natalya and Aksinya's reunion on the presiding judge and judges.  I show you that Judge Richter put down his handkerchief.  The implication is that he was affected by their words and actions.  The others were also affected, note the presiding judge instructs the other judges, and he gives Natalya a stern look.

The judge asks Natalya her name and then her relationship with Aksinya.  You would expect Natalya to answer that she was Aksinya's lady-in-waiting etc.  Watch carefully, instead, she tells the court, not her position in Aksinya's household, but rather what Aksinya did for her.  We could have guessed this was the most important issue to Natalya.  Natalya defines herself based on what Aksinya did for her--she worships Aksinya. 

Then we get to the answer the judge expected, but Natalya's answer is still couched in therms of what Aksinya did, listen: "...offered me the position of her lady-in-waiting.  She gave me clothing and jewelry.  She cared for me and sent me to school.  She called me her friend and confidant.”  The judge asked a simple question and received an entire history of Aksinya, so he moves on to the events.

The events of that evening were very critical to the case.  Natalya fills in all the details and becomes more detailed than the judge expected--she mentions the books.  Like real life, we get to the point in a circular manner.  The judge wants to go directly to the point; Natalya wants to tell the truth.  This gets to the reason Aksinya beat Natalya--do you remember, Aksinya would not answer this question--this is the critical question.  Aksinya does not want this answer to come out.  The answer to this question will destroy Natalya and Ernst socially.

This is the reason Aksinya doesn't want anyone to answer the question.  The problem is that the cat is already out of the bag.  Aksinya imagines she can protect her friends--she can't.  As Father Dobrushin knows and pointed out--he will save her.  He might not be able to save the others, but he will save Aksinya from prison and the workhouse--if he can.  Tomorrow, the reason.

A New Novel, Part 274 I Have No Household

5 July 2011, A New Novel, Part 274 I Have No Household

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is on trial in Wien, Austria.  The presiding judge found Aksinya not guilty of the fraud charges against her.  He did so because her debt had already been paid.  The judge released the court for lunch, where Aksinya and Father Dobrushin have an interesting conversation.  Following lunch, the court reconvenes.  Aksinya and Father Dobrushin return to the courtroom...

Just before one o’clock, Sergeant Nagel escorted them back to the courtroom.  They returned to their seats and waited for the rest of the court to gather.

Directly at one, behind the large desk, two judges came through the door at the right and two judges through the door at the left.  The bailiff of the court struck his staff against the floor, “Hear ye, hear ye, this Schöffengericht is reconvened in the name of Emperor Charles the first of Austria and the Republic of German Austria.  I present again The Honorable Gustav Richter, The Honorable Artur Kuester, Lay Judge Albert Vogler, and Lay Judge Oscar Amsel.  May the justice of the Lord God Almighty reign in all the affairs of men.” 

Judge Richter started up immediately, “The focus of this afternoon are the charges of assault and battery against Princess Aksinya.  The first witness whom I wish to call is the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska.  Sergeant Nagel.”

In a couple of minutes, Natalya followed Sergeant Nagel into the courtroom.  She walked with excellent posture, but one of her shoulders drooped a little lower than the other.

Aksinya gave a little cry when she saw Natalya.  Natalya’s eyes lit up.  She ran to Aksinya and curtsied to the floor.  Aksinya took Natalya’s hand and lifted her up.  She stood and embraced Natalya.  Aksinya kissed Natalya’s cheeks.  They were wet with tears.

Judge Richter cleared his throat a couple of times.  He rolled his eyes.  Finally he said something, “Herr Lopuhin, this is highly irregular.”  He paused, “But…yes, I understand.”  He sighed and slumped back into his seat.

Natalya cried, “They wouldn’t let me see you.  I begged and begged, but they said you were in jail.”

Aksinya laughed, “I was in jail.  I will likely go to prison.  I love you so much, and I am so sorry.  I missed you.”

“And I you, mistress.  I wish to join your household again.”

Aksinya looked down, “I have none.”

Father Dobrushin took Aksinya by the arm, “Princess, that is enough.  The Lady Natalya must testify.”

“Yes, you must testify and ensure you tell the truth, Lady Natalya.”

Natalya nodded and presented a very worried look on her face.

Sergeant Nagel led Natalya to the witness chair. 

What kind of reunion did you expect to see with Aksinya and Natalya.  Aksinya loves Natalya.  Natalya worships Aksinya.  Natalya would gladly die for Aksinya--she almost did.  The kind of love and worship Natalya has for Aksinya can't be harmed by any amount of pain and suffering.  The same is true for the Sister Margarethe.  Aksinya's powerful personality gathers followers like a mother hen gathers her chicks. 

Does Aksinya deserve any of this worship.  She saved Natalya more than once.  She was a reluctant actor who acted in every case for Natalya--except once.  This novel is not about those things which are deserved.  This novel is about those things which are entirely undeserved.  Therefore, when Natalya sees Aksinya, she runs to her and curtsies to her and adores her.  Aksinya shows her love too.

Did you notice, Natalya walks with one shoulder lower than the other.  She is permanently crippled from Aksinya's attack.  Natalya didn't deserve this either--or did she.  As I wrote, this isn't a novel about what is deserved, but what is not deserved.

The judge is moved by Natalya and Aksinya's reunion.  Notice, I don't tell you about it--I show it to you.  The judge gives up and lets the ladies greet one another.  That's where I carve out a piece of dialog for you to show you their thoughts--thoughts through dialog.  Did you note, Aksinya said she loves Natalya.  At this point, Aksinya likely understands what love really is.  Natalya wishes to join Aksinya's household again, but Aksinya has none.

Father Dobrushin finally separates them.  Doesn't he chime in at an interesting point in the conversation?  The point about a household.  Listen to Aksinya's order to Natalya: “Yes, you must testify and ensure you tell the truth, Lady Natalya.”  This makes Natalya worried because she does not wish Aksinya to go to prison--you do see that, don't you?  Natalya would do anything for Aksinya including lie.  She was perhaps prepared to lie.  She disobeyed and betrayed her mistress before because of her love.  Tomorrow, Natalya's testimony.

A New Novel, Part 273 Nothing is Certain

4 July 2011, A New Novel, Part 273 Nothing is Certain

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is on trial in Wien, Austria.  The presiding judge found Aksinya not guilty of the fraud charges against her.  He did so because her debt had already been paid.  The judge then released the court for lunch.  Father Dobrushin and Aksinya head for the luncheon room in the Rathaus...

Sergeant Nagel led Aksinya and Father Dobrushin into the private luncheon room within the Rathaus.  They sat at a private table near the back of the chamber.  Aksinya appeared completely out of place there.  Her hair had not been properly brushed in weeks.  Her dress was wrinkled and stained beyond the bloody crosses that marked it.  It had been the dress of a drudge to begin with.  She had not had a bath either—not in a long while.  She glanced at Father Dobrushin in his clean and well pressed suit and stood, “I don’t belong here.”

Father Dobrushin didn’t look at her, “Sit down, now.  Judge Richter sent you here so you would not have to face the reporters yet.”

She sat, “Yet?”

“When you win and are redeemed, you will have to answer some of their questions.  When that happens, I suggest you keep quiet and allow me to speak for you.”

“I will win?  What does that mean?”

“It means that you will be found not guilty and you will be released.”

“This is certain?”

“Nothing is certain.  All I know is that I will do everything I can to save you.”

“Perhaps you are the foolish one.  What do you gain from all this?  I can’t pay your bill.  In fact, who did pay my bills on the remaining claims?”

“I did.”

“You did?  Why would you do that for me?”

“Right now, I want you to eat something nice and have tea the way you like it.”

“I like tea best the way Natalya makes it for me.”

Father Dobrushin smiled, “You act as though nothing happened to estrange you from anyone else in the world.”

“Because I can’t control what anyone else does.  I can only control what I do or think.  I learned that long before I met the demon.  He just reminded me of it.”

Father Dobrushin couldn’t say anything after that.  He ordered then both lunch and tea.

The most revealing conversations are many times those that have little to do with the here and now within a novel.  This little scene in the luncheon room is this type of scene.  You must take into account that this is pure chapter setting and scene setting.  The purpose of this scene is to propel the chapter and to move the theme of the novel.  So let's look at the elements of the scene and the chapter setting.

First, the scene is set by comparison.  I don't need to go into great detail on the scene setting--that is narrative description, because I use a direct comparison between the place and Aksinya herself.  She is the focus of the chapter and the novel.  She gets the billing and she is the comparison here.  I describe her clothing and appearance and that is the comparison.  You can see the room and setting through this.  That is the purpose and it is a dual purpose: first, you see Aksinya and second, you see the scene.  I do give you a third for free--Father Dobrushin's appearance.

Father Dobrushin is all business.  He simply instructs Aksinya to sit and explains why the judge sent her to the luncheon room.  We know there is much more to this, but it does not need to be said.  By the way, you know Aksinya is not grand standing.  She is serious, but Father Dobrushin is too.  Aksinya is just too unsophisticated to understand what is going on.  I also use this to remind you of the reporters and to move to the point I want to make in this scene.  This is the question of Aksinya's redemption.

In this scene, I use very specific vocabulary to make a point about the entire chapter.  The point is that Father Dobrushin is going to save Aksinya.  The bills were paid by Father Dobrushin.  We guessed this--I wanted to make sure it was certain in your mind.  Aksinya has nothing to offer, but still Father Dobrushin has given his wealth, expertise, and...we shall see for Aksinya.

Father Dobrushin deflects Aksinya's question about why he would do these things for her.  His statement: “Right now, I want you to eat something nice and have tea the way you like it.”  Allows me to bring up Natalya.  Natalya is an important question and part of this chapter--remember chapter setting.

Father Dobrushin's question is one of forgiveness and acceptance.  Aksinya has accepted everything in stride.  It is not that she doesn't care about it, the point is that she has accepted her lot and is ready to accept any punishment.  She believes she deserves great punishment and wants to be punished.

Aksinya's response is an important one.  It is absolutely true and a great truth: “Because I can’t control what anyone else does.  I can only control what I do or think.  I learned that long before I met the demon.  He just reminded me of it.”   With this statement, we know Aksinya was wise, but she has reached a point where her wisdom could be a force for goodness instead of evil.  That is the ultimate point--she has been and is about to be redeemed.  Tomorrow, the trial continues.

A New Novel, Part 251 You are Meaningless Now

12 June 2011, A New Novel, Part 251 You are Meaningless Now

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

During the ecclesiastical trial, once the Archinquisitor succeeds in determining there is a witness to Aksinya's sorcery and after Natalya, Ernst, and Sister Margarethe acknowledge Aksinya's sorcery, the Archinquisitor is ready to pronounce judgement...

The Archinquisitor smiled, “I think the guilt of all these individuals can be attributed to the Princess Aksinya.  Therefore, I am ready to pronounce my verdict on all of them.  This verdict shall stand unless revoked by Rome.”  He paused for a moment then continued, “If I had the authority, I would ask that you,” he pointed at Aksinya, “be burned at the stake.  I don’t have that power, therefore, I pronounce the Princess Aksinya guilty of necromancy and sorcery.  She is not Catholic and therefore cannot be excommunicated.  She shall be denied communion and succor from the Holy Catholic Church all her life long.  She is a notorious sinner who has brought many to ruin.  She will not be allowed in any building or property owned by this Church.  She shall not be acknowledged by any leader of the Holy Catholic Church as nobility nor aristocracy.  She is to be shunned by commoner and noble alike until her life ends.  This edict with a similar recommendation shall be sent to the Orthodox Church and to all other official Christian bodies.  They shall judge her themselves.”

Aksinya smiled and nodded.

“As to these others.”

Aksinya growled, “I accept your punishment.  It is just.  Do not judge these others.  I renounce any association with them.”

The Archinquisitor chuckled, “They must answer for their own sins.  It is not up to you to judge, little girl.  Herr von Taaffe, you are allowed communion after proper repentance and penance to be determined by the Cardinal of Wien.  You are accused and guilty of seduction and acquaintance with sorcery.  Repent of this, and you shall be freely given the succor of your Holy Church.  Equally, you, Sister Margarethe, are guilty of acquaintance with sorcery.  You shall not be allowed to teach for the rest of your life.  After proper repentance and penance, you shall be allowed to continue as a novice of your community until such time as your Reverend Mother and Abbot shall accept you into the Holy Orders again.”  He took a deep breath, “You, Lady Natalya are a victim of this woman.  Upon repentance and penance and if you are confirmed within our community, I allow you to join with our Holy Catholic Church.”

Aksinya’s lips turned slightly up.  That quickly became a frown.

The Archinquisitor continued, “Reverend Mother Kluge, you allowed this sorceress to enter Sacré Coeur and bewitch your sisters and your students.  You shall be reduced to a sister of your order and not hold the position of Reverend Mother again.  The Abbot, Father Abend, is equally guilty of this sin and shall also be reduced to a priest without authority until properly elevated.  I pronounce the school, Sacré Coeur, to be closed until a full accounting of the evil that was committed within it is determined and purged.  It shall open again only under these conditions are met.”

The Reverend Mother gave a cry.  The sisters around her held to her.

“The convent shall be under a full review and shall accept penance until the time the Cardinal of Wien shall lift that penance.  No new novices shall be accepted nor sisters elevated until that time.”

Aksinya panted, “You already had planned all this before you heard anything, didn’t you?”

“You, little girl have nothing to say to me.  You are meaningless now.  You will soon face your accusers in another court, a court of secular law, and you should pray they are as lenient as I.”    

Aksinya stood, “I accept the just punishment for my sins.  I admit to them and confess them all to you.”  She dropped to her knees, “I beg your pardon for any and all suffering I have caused.  I have no excuse for my actions.  I only wish I could take your suffering on myself.  Forgive all these.  Please, in the name of God, forgive them and only punish me.”

The Archinquisitor made a dismissive motion with his hand and signaled for the guards, “Your penance and pleas come much too late, little girl.”

So, now we realize the reason for the trial and for the Archinquisitor's actions.  His purpose was not to simply try Aksinya, but rather to determine the quilt of as many other people whose lives Aksinya touched.  You can see this was the demon's purpose as well.  Asmodeus told Aksinya that he would destroy as many of her friends as possible.  The Archinquisitor is simply doing the job of the demon.  He is very effective at it.

The Archinquisitor starts: “I think the guilt of all these individuals can be attributed to the Princess Aksinya.  Therefore, I am ready to pronounce my verdict on all of them."  This is the authority of the Archinquisitor.  He pronounces his judgement.  Notice how detailed his punishment is.  You might think he practiced it--for effect.

Aksinya accepts the punishment--to her this is just.  She wanted to be punished and although she imagines this punishment won't affect her much (it will in the future), she accepts it.  But then the Archinquisitor moves on to "the others."

The Archinquisitor calls Aksinya, "little girl," again.  Remember, this is the exact term the demon used.  The Archinquisitor moves on to Ernst.  Ernst seduced Natalya and acknowledge he had a part in sorcery.  We might imagine these punishments as small and unimportant--the result will be devastating.  The idea at this time in the world for a person to be condemned by the Church has social and cultural repercussions.  The simple point that Ernst was found guilty of seduction will destroy his reputation.  His penance, required by the Church, will destroy his position in the community.
The Archinquisitor doesn't stop with Ernst, the Sister Margarethe falls under his judgement.  Remember that the sister loved to teach.  Her whole life was teaching--that is until she met Aksinya.  Her whole life was the Church and her order.  Everything important in the life of Sister Margarethe has been wiped out in a second.

Natalya gets off easy.  She already confessed to seduction, sexual relations with Ernst, and being an apprentice to a sorceress.  Her life in Wien is ruined.  The reason Aksinya's lips turned up is because she imagines that Natalya will never wish to be a member of the Catholic Church.  On the other hand, there are many reasons Natalya might wish to become a member of the Catholic Church.

The Archinquisitor moves on to the Reverend Mother and the Abbot.  He wipes out their loves and their lives.  He closes Sacré Coeur.  So the Reverend Mother loses both her position and the school she loves.  The same for the Abbot.

The convent doesn't escape the Archinquisitor.

Aksinya tries to stop the Archinquisitor.  She should know be now that she can't stop the evil of the demon.  That evil is expressed at this point by the Archinquisitor.  He reminds her that she will soon face another court.  He is gloating--just as the demon likes to gloat.  Aksinya pushes her last defense: "Forgive all these.  Please, in the name of God, forgive them and only punish me.”  Unfortunately, Aksinya's penance comes too late for the Archinquisitor.  It always is too late.  This is the end of chapter 18.  Tomorrow, we begin chapter 19 with scene and chapter setting.