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Thursday, May 12, 2011

A New Novel, Part 220 She is Well

12 May 2011, A New Novel, Part 220 She is Well

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

The Catholic Church inquisitors have arrested Aksinya.  The Reverend Mother and Sister Margarethe greet Aksinya on the street before Sacré Coeur...

Archinquisitor Gallo took a deep breath, “Reverend Mother, do not show any respect to this woman.  She is accused of sorcery along with much more evil.  She shall be tried for these crimes.”
Sister Margarethe put her arms around Aksinya and held her close.  She turned her head toward the Reverend Mother, “The girl is freezing.  Do you have a coat for her, Father?”
“I am an archinquisitor, Sister.  Unhand the woman, we are taking her to the Cardinal’s residence.”
Aksinya whispered, “Where is the Lady Natalya?”
Archinquisitor Gallo grabbed Sister Margarethe’s arm, “Let go of her or you will incriminate yourself, Sister.”
The Reverend Mother took a step backward toward the doors of Sacré Coeur.
Sister Margarethe held more tightly to Aksinya.  She turned her head toward the Archinquisitor, “She is just a girl—not more than a child.”
Aksinya whispered again, “Where is the Lady Natalya?”
Sister Margarethe put her lips close to Aksinya’s ear, “I will tell you later.”
Aksinya wailed, “There will be no later for us to speak—tell me.”
Archinquisitor Gallo tugged at Sister Margarethe, “She is right she will be held in isolation for everyone’s protection.”
Sister Margarethe’s voice trembled, “She is with Herr von Taaffe.”
“Is she well?”
Sister Margarethe grasped Aksinya more tightly, “She is well.”
      As though Aksinya waited only for those words, she relaxed in Inquisitor Esposito’s grasp.  He almost let go.  Only Sister Margarethe’s embrace prevented her from pitching forward to the cobblestones that were nearly as cold as she was.

The Archinquisitor warns the Reverend Mother not to show respect to Aksinya.  In spite of this warning, the Sister Margarethe embraces Aksinya.  Remember how much she loves Aksinya.  She only has concern for Aksinya's needs.  Then through the dialog, I tell you more about what will happen.  They are taking Aksinya to the Cardinal's residence.

Aksinya takes this moment to ask the question most important to her: “Where is the Lady Natalya?”  The Archinquisitor then tells us more about how things will go--let go of Aksinya or you will incriminate yourself.  I'm sorry, I can't write about good inquisitors--there is no such thing.  This warning frightens the Reverend Mother, but not Sister Margarethe.  While the Reverend Mother backs off, Sister Margarethe holds more tightly.  She even defends Aksinya.  This is the epitome of showing and not telling.

Aksinya won't be put off.  She is facing her punishment, but she wants to know the answer to her important question: “Where is the Lady Natalya?”  Watch how I build the tension.  Sister Margarethe says she will tell her later.  Aksinya understands how these things work--there will be no later.  Through this I get to show you more about what will happen to Aksinya.  The Archinquisitor tells us:  “She is right she will be held in isolation for everyone’s protection.” 

Sister Margarethe answers Aksinya's question.  Where is Natalya: “She is with Herr von Taaffe.”  Notice, the Sister's voice trembles (why would that be).  Aksinya wants to know more: “Is she well?”  Then we find some part of the answer: “She is well.”

Okay, I don't intend the next event to be a cliche.  Aksinya is cold, she hasn't eaten, she has faced double arrest, and she just heard her friend she thought was dead is well.  She conks out.  I think this fits.  It think it makes a great transition too.  Tomorrow, you will see to what.

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