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Sunday, July 17, 2011

A New Novel, Part 286 I Am Willing to Give Up Everything

17 July 2011, A New Novel, Part 286 I Am Willing to Give Up Everything

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Father Dobrushin took Aksinya to dinner.  He told her he is willing to marry her to help her be rid of the demon.  They are discussing why Father Dobrushin is willing to risk his life to marry her...

He took her hands in his, “Yet I do gain something very important.  I wish to see this demon.  As you said, if you have seen a demon, then there must be God.  And I gain a person in my life who has truly touched spiritual things.”
“Tainted by spiritual things.”
“In the church we promote the physical representation of heavenly things.  Each item, the icons, the cross and crucifix, the banners, the baptistery, the altar, the church itself stand in place of their spiritual realities.  The incense represents the smells, the metaepithumia, before the altar in heaven.  The feel of the water is the spirit of God.  The taste of the communion is the flavor of salvation.  These things are only shadows of their reality, but you, you alone of all the people I have ever met, claim, and indeed show proof of not just the symbols of heavenly things, but the reality of spiritual things.”
“This is important to you?”
“The most important thing to me.  Perhaps, it is due to my lack of faith.  You asked me in the past if I believed in God.  No one ever asked me that before.  When you sought solace from the God you knew existed but could not reach, I sought to see God within you.”
“And you think you found Him?”
“I did find Him.  Before, I believed, now I know.  It is as simple as that.  If you imagine that I found an icon in you, an icon that is both a physical and a spiritual manifestation of reality, then that is why I desire you enough to face a demon in order to marry you.”
“Perhaps you were sent to me for this purpose.”
“Perhaps everything in your life has pointed to this purpose.  Dear God, Princess, you know.  You know the Lord God almighty exists.  You know the spiritual world is real.  Not only have you seen it, you have manipulated it.”  He released her right hand and pulled her left hand into his.  He stroked the many scars on it.  “When I saw these marks, I knew what you had been.  When I heard your confession, I knew what you could become.  I am willing to give up everything because of this.”
“For me?”
“For the purpose within you.”

Theme time.  One of the primary reasons I wrote this novel is encapsulated in this section.  Father Dobrushin is seeking in a way Aksinya is not seeking.  Aksinya knows there is a God, she just can't trust him.  Father Dobrushin desires to know God more fully.  He wishes not just to believe but to know.  Aksinya is a person who has literally touched the spiritual world.  The world she touched was the dark side, but it was the spiritual world.  She knows there is a God.

Most people are like Father Dobrushin, they seek God--they seek to know.  Many are content with faith, but most seek something more.  Father Dobrushin's own words explain his thoughts.  I won't repeat them, but I'll draw your attention to them.  Note, his expose on the church and on the representation of spiritual things.  The knowledge of the spiritual is the most important thing to Father Dobrushin.  This is the reason he was attracted to Aksinya.  This is the reason he is willing to die for her.  This is the reason he is willing to give up everything for her.  We will truly discover what he has given up later.

To Father Dobrushin, Aksinya represents the one worth saving.  She is the pearl of great price.  She is the sheep worth seeking.  He says: "I sought to see God within you.”  Now you know the reason Father Dobrushin is willing to marry Aksinya.  Now you know why he has done what he did.  He is of a philosophical bent, but wasn't he always--this is his nature.

I don't just let the characters act out this conversation for you with just words.  Watch Father Dobrushin.  He takes Aksinya's hands, then he left hand and strokes the scars on it.  Could you imagine such badges of infamy could become beautiful as stigmata for the actions in the spiritual realm?  Father Dobrushin sums up his thoughts: “When I saw these marks, I knew what you had been.  When I heard your confession, I knew what you could become.  I am willing to give up everything because of this.”

He is willing to give up everything for the purpose within her.  If this is not a declaration of love--then what is?  Still we haven't use the love words.  There is no need.  These are two people who are entirely dependent on one another.  We knew Aksinya was dependent on Father Dobrushin, but now we see he has placed all his faith in her.  That is, in her purpose.  Tomorrow, the agreement.

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