10 December 2015, Writing Ideas
- New Novel, part 608, Rage Examples of Tone Q and A
Announcement: Delay, my new novels can be seen on the internet, but the publisher
has delayed all their fiction output due to the economy. I'll keep you
informed. More information can be found at www.ancientlight.com. Check out my novels--I think you'll really enjoy
them.
Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon.
This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in
installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in
addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel
was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and
tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this
blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.
I'm using this novel as an example
of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll
keep you informed along the way.
Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my
writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production
schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.
The four plus one basic rules I
employ when writing:
1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the
writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of
your writing.
All novels have five discrete parts:
1. The initial scene (the
beginning)
2. The rising action
3. The climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement
The theme statement
of my 26th novel, working title, Shape, is
this: Mrs. Lyons captures a shape-shifting girl in her pantry
and rehabilitates her.
Here is the cover proposal for Escape
from Freedom. Escape is my 25th novel.
The most important scene in any
novel is the initial scene, but eventually, you have to move to the rising
action. I'm on my first editing run-through of Shape.
I'm
an advocate of using the/a scene input/output method to drive the rising
action--in fact, to write any novel.
Scene development:
1. Scene input (easy)
2. Scene output (a little
harder)
3. Scene setting (basic stuff)
4. Creativity (creative
elements of the scene)
5. Tension (development of
creative elements to build excitement)
6. Release (climax of creative
elements)
I can immediately discern three ways
to invoke creativity:
1. Historical extrapolation
2. Technological extrapolation
3. Intellectual
extrapolation
Creativity is like
an extrapolation of what has been. It is a reflection of something
new created with ties to the history, science, and logic (the
intellect). Creativity requires consuming, thinking, and producing.
One of my blog readers posed these
questions. I'll use the next few weeks to answer them.
13. Tone - how tone is created
through diction, rhythm, sentence construction, sound effects, images created
by similes, syntax/re-arrangement of words in sentence, the inflections of the
silent or spoken voice, etc.
14. Mannerism suggested by
speech
15. Style
16. Distinct manner of writing
or speaking you employ, and why (like Pinter's style includes gaps, silences,
non-sequitors, and fragments while Chekhov's includes 'apparent'
inconclusiveness).
Moving on to 13. 13.
Tone - how tone is created through diction, rhythm, sentence construction,
sound effects, images created by similes, syntax/re-arrangement of words in
sentence, the inflections of the silent or spoken voice, etc.
I'm writing from Florida--thought you should know.
If tone is the feel of the writing,
the author must start first with what tone he wants to convey.
Aksinya is a great example of tone
in a novel. The novel moves from horror
and murder to blissful elegance and high society. The tone of the scenes range from love to
hate and from great happiness to despair.
The peaks of human emotion and human suffering are found in Aksinya—the tone
of the novel must therefore fit the scenes.
This is part of the theme climax of the novel. I already revealed the tone to you—it is love
turned to rage.
Monday after school, Aksinya and Natalya
awaited in the parlor for Herr von Taaffe’s arrival. A wood and coal fire warmed the room. Natalya sewed and Aksinya read a Russian
novel. Sister Margarethe sat in a
servant’s chair at the side of the room near the door to the hall. Aksinya kept glancing up from her book. She hadn’t turned a single page in an hour.
When
they heard hooves outside, Sister Margarethe
stood. The two novice nuns must have
waited just outside the door, they rushed into the parlor.
Aksinya
smiled. Her face filled with joy.
Natalya
glanced at Aksinya then bent more diligently over her sewing.
When
the bell rang, Sister Margarethe
and the novice nuns ran into the foyer.
Aksinya heard the door open and Sister
Margarethe greet Ernst. She heard
the rustle of Ernst’s great coat as they took it from him. In a few moments, Sister Margarethe led Herr Ernst von Taaffe into the room. Aksinya rose to greet him, and she almost
fell backwards into her chair. Just
behind Ernst stepped Asmodeus. The demon
grinned at her, but he didn’t say anything.
A whiff of sulfur followed him into the room. Natalya glanced up at Ernst and the
demon. She colored, but immediately
lowered her eyes back to her sewing.
Ernst’s
face was radiant. He stepped to Aksinya
and embraced her. His lips touched hers
in a light but fervent caress. Aksinya
returned his kiss for a moment, then thought better of her response and pushed
him slightly away. Ernst didn’t seem put
off at all. Sister Margarethe took a step forward as though she was about to
intervene, but then she stepped back again.
Natalya
stiffened.
Ernst
pulled Aksinya closer, “Dearest Aksinya, I know your answer before you speak
it, and I’m here to take you home with me.”
Sister Margarethe gave a gasp. The novice nuns gasped.
Aksinya
pushed him back again, “My answer? You
know it before I even speak it? You are
a bit too forward and presumptuous, sir.”
“Today,
I received your letter in response to mine, and the joy of my heart knows no
bounds. But your attentions the other
evening spoke more strongly than any letter or any words you might say.”
Aksinya’s
voice raised, “My attentions?”
Ernst
stared at her with a puzzled look, “Yes, your attentions.”
Asmodeus
grinned.
Aksinya
stepped back and almost tripped over her chair, “I don’t have any idea what you
are talking about, Ernst von Taaffe.”
Ernst
continued to stare possessively at Aksinya.
His eyes swept up and down her body in a very intimate glance.
Aksinya
was suddenly filled with desire. She
immediately pushed any such thoughts out of her mind. She glanced at the demon, then back at
Ernst. Only she seemed to realize
Asmodeus was in the room with them at all.
Aksinya’s voice turned suddenly hard, “Sister Margarethe, leave us.
Take the novices with you. I need
to speak to Ernst privately.”
Natalya
began to rise.
Aksinya
didn’t turn, “Lady Natalya, you may remain.
I am in great need of a chaperone.”
Ernst
laughed, “In need of a chaperone? I
think not, but dear lady, I will accede to your will.”
Sister Margarethe and the novice nuns
reluctantly departed the room. Sister Margarethe halted a moment
beside the door.
Aksinya
raised her head, “Please close the door to the parlor, Sister Margarethe.”
Sister Margarethe nodded and slowly
pulled it shut.
Aksinya
stepped over to the door and made certain it was fully closed then she turned
back toward Ernst, “What do you mean, sir by your statements? I did not send you a letter, and I did not
attend you the other night.”
Ernst’s
face fell for a moment, but he reached into his coat and pulled out a
letter. He shook it open and handed it to
Aksinya, “You sent this to me.”
Aksinya
reached out and carefully took the letter without touching Ernst’s
fingers. She scanned the letter. Then
read it again, carefully.
Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna
Sacré
Coeur Straße
Wien, Austria
8 January 1919
My Dearest Ernst
I hope I proved my love
to you Wednesday night. I couldn’t
imagine a more suitable man to take into my arms and reveal my every desire and
delight. My answer to you on Monday is
yes and yes and yes. I am already
yours. You have my heart and soul and
body. Please don’t be late because my
love for you only exceeds my desire.
I
love you with my body and soul,
Aksinya
Aksinya
was suddenly breathing hard, “I did not write this letter. After the opera, I did not spend Wednesday
night with you.”
Asmodeus
laughter filled the parlor.
Aksinya
stared at him, “What do you have to say about this demon?”
Asmodeus’
lips rose over his fangs, “Ask your handmaiden where she was on Wednesday
night.”
Aksinya’s
voice rose in volume, “Natalya, what do you know about this?”
Natalya
cringed. Then she raised her eyes and
met Aksinya’s angry glance, “I could not give you to this man. He would take away your virtue and your
sorcery. So I gave him mine.”
Aksinya
rushed forward and threw the letter at her, “Did you write this?”
Natalya
jerked her head to the side and shook her head.
Asmodeus
laughed again, “I wrote it. I wrote it
in answer to the impassioned missive from this stupid young man.” He glared at Aksinya, “It is all true.”
Aksinya
pressed her hands over her ears, “It is not true. None of it is true.”
Asmodeus
wrinkled his nose at her, “This evening, you were about to answer Herr von
Taaffe that you would wed him. You were
planning to give up your virtue to him.
You would have gladly lain in his arms and moaned out your every
desire. You would have pleasured him
already if you had the courage. You
would have loved him just as he foolishly loves you. Do you think I could allow that?”
“Don’t
you want me to sin?”
“I
want you to do evil. That is your
purpose and my purpose, and the evil you created in your wake is truly
breathtaking. Can you not appreciate
it? I would help you bed him now, but
you realize he has already been taken.”
“What
do you mean?”
“Didn’t
you hear your lady-in-waiting? Ask her
again. She already told you.”
Aksinya’s
hand slipped to the side of her face, “Natalya, what did you do?”
Natalya
wailed, “I could not let you do this thing.
So I did it for you.”
Aksinya
spat at her, “You did what for me?”
“I
seduced him for you and gave him myself in your place.”
Ernst
stepped beside Aksinya and grasped her arm, “What does she mean? I slept with you, Aksinya. I did not sleep with her. I saw your face. I touched your body. I heard your voice.”
Asmodeus
cackled, “The Countess herself made the Lady Natalya appear like her. While she was in a drunken stupor, the
Countess made her favorite enchantment.
She made the Lady Natalya appear exactly like her and befuddled the Sister Margarethe’s thoughts. I sent the Lady Natalya to your bed. You did not sleep with the Countess.” He crossed his arms, “You had her maid.”
Aksinya
shook off Ernst’s hand. She moved away
from him—toward the demon, “You did this horrible thing?”
The
demon sneered, “I didn’t do it—you did.”
Ernst
pleaded, “I love you, Aksinya. I don’t
love anyone else.”
“But
you slept with her,” Aksinya thrust her finger at Natalya.
Ernst
put his hands over his face, “I thought it was you. I only wanted you…”
Aksinya
pushed him away, “You defiled her, and you defiled yourself. Do you think I would have slept so easily
with you?”
Asmodeus
voice was droll, “She would have.”
Aksinya
barked at him, “Shut up, demon.” She
whirled toward Ernst, “Get out, Herr von Taaffe. I don’t wish to see you again. I am not damaged goods, and I will not accept
damaged goods.”
Asmodeus
laughed again.
Aksinya
ignored the demon. She scowled at Ernst,
“Leave my house. You stain my honor by
remaining here.”
Ernst
ducked his head, “But, I didn’t know. I
still love you. I want to marry you.”
“Do
you think I could love you now? Do you
think that after you took the virtue of my servant I could ever think of
marrying you? I am not so low. You may have had her, but you will never have
me now.”
Asmodeus
gave a yawn, “The Lady Natalya had no virtue remaining to give. Others took it from her long before Herr von
Taaffe. He was just one of many.”
Natalya
bowed her head a little lower.
Aksinya
stared at Natalya then jerked her eyes back to Ernst. She didn’t look in his eyes, “Herr von
Taaffe, you disgrace my house. I already
told you to leave.” She motioned
violently toward him.
Ernst
ducked his head and bowed, “I am sorry.
I will leave. May I contact you
later?”
Aksinya
screamed at him, “Do not try to speak to me again. I will not entertain your letters or abide
your presence again.”
“Very
well. I do still love you. I am sorry.”
He dropped to one knee.
Aksinya
kicked at him and missed, “Take your apology and get out. Now!”
She pulled back her hand and this time connected with the side of his
face.
Ernst
stood wide-eyed. He took one other
glance at Aksinya then backed out of the door into the foyer. They heard the outer door open and
close. The fire rose and fell among the
coals.
Asmodeus
inspected his claws, “He got off easy.
If he had taken you, he would be dead.
There is still the problem of your handmaiden.”
Aksinya
whirled around. She stared at Natalya as
though seeing her for the very first time.
Natalya was so beautiful. She was
so much more beautiful than Aksinya.
Aksinya wondered why she hadn’t noticed before. No wonder Ernst or any man would choose
Natalya over her. Aksinya moved slowly
toward her lady-in-waiting, “Natalya, you took him from me. You took away the only man who ever loved
me.”
Natalya
crumpled in on herself, “I did it for you, mistress.”
Aksinya’s
voice rose to a scream, “For me? For
me? How could you do such an evil a
thing for me?”
Asmodeus
smacked his lips, “Actually, it was my idea.”
Natalya
cried, “I didn’t want you to lose it.”
Aksinya’s
voice rose again nearly inarticulate, “Lose what?”
“Your
sorcery.”
Asmodeus
smirked, “I told her that if a man took your virtue, you would lose your power
to accomplish sorcery. The Lady Natalya
knows how important that is to you.”
“But
that was all a lie. I could have loved
him.” Aksinya’s furious features were distraught.
Natalya
raised her eyes, “But not any more. Now,
you can do what you love the most. You
can have what you love forever. I love
you, mistress. I could not see you hurt
like that.”
“Hurt? Hurt?” Aksinya’s eyes were wild she sought
anything around her that she could take into her hand. She ran to the side of the fireplace and
removed the poker from the implements there, “I will let you know how much this
has hurt me.”
Aksinya
struck Natalya’s side, and she fell to the floor on her face. Natalya put her hands over her head and
Aksinya struck her shoulders again and again with the poker. Aksinya’s blows were so wild half of them hit
the floor. Curses and cries flowed from
Aksinya’s lips, and bright blood suddenly appeared on Natalya’s dress. At each blow, a breath burst from Natalya’s
lips. Dark red stains drenched Natalya’s
back, but the girl didn’t make any other sound.
While Aksinya raised feral and shrill screams, blood began to streak the
floor. Sister Margarethe rushed through the door. She grabbed Aksinya’s arms and wrestled the
poker from her. Aksinya fell back. She cursed the nun with her remaining
breath. After that Aksinya’s mouth only
opened and close without a sound.
Sister Margarethe knelt beside
Natalya and hesitantly touched her. She
glanced up at Aksinya, “What have you done?
What have you done, Countess?” Tears streaked Sister Margarethe’s
face. She cried out again, “Sister
Rita.” She screamed, “Sister Rita,
Sister Tria, come help me.” The novice
sisters ran to the room and halted in the opening of the parlor. They glanced at Aksinya and at Natalya’s
silent body beside Sister Margarethe. Their eyes widened, and they trembled. Aksinya, still filled with rage, rushed at
them, and they scattered screaming.
Aksinya
ran into the foyer and to the outer door.
She tugged at the handle. It
wouldn’t open at first. She screamed and
ripped it open. She ran out into the
freezing night. Behind her, she heard
nothing but sobs. She knew nothing but
cries, but these were no longer hers.
They were the cries of the nuns who knelt beside the broken and bleeding
Lady Natalya.
I hope you are beginning to see how tone works in a
novel. I’ll give you a hint and then
begin to piece out the answer. Look back
at the beginnings of each of the scenes—or at least the beginnings I showed
you. If you go back and review the
entire novel, you will see the whole of my point about tone. Right now, I want you to get the feel of tone—later
we will look at the how of the tone.
More tomorrow.For more information, you can visit my author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:
http://www.ancientlight.com/
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com
fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline,
character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing,
information, study, marketing, tension, release, creative, idea, logic
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com
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