For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.
Aksinya, Natalya, and the Bockmanns have arrived at Ernst Father's estate. The immediate greetings are complete. Now, the Graf leads them into the house...
The Graf seemed even more pleased, “I understand completely, Countess. Very well, it is cold outside, and I understand your delicate nature. Please, let us retire to the ballroom. There are refreshments, and I’m certain, my guests would like to make your acquaintance.” The Graf extended his arm toward Aksinya. She took it. Ernst frowned and gave his arm to Natalya. They made their way into the house with the Graf von Taaffe and the Countess Golitsyna in the lead.
The interior of the mansion was similar to the outside. The floor was set stone, and very old. Martial emblems and weapons decorated the walls. The foyer was large and the walls were very thick. Heavy tapestries attempted to contain the chill from the outside, but they only helped increase the temperature a little. Inside, with the Graf’s help, a footman took Aksinya’s cloak. They made their way up a long stone staircase to the next floor. That opened to a long room which ran over half the length of the front of the house. At the far end of the ballroom, a string quartet played gentle waltz music. Against the inside wall were two large fireplaces filled with roaring wood fires. The floors here were also stone, but thick oriental rugs covered them. The temperature was also much more to Aksinya’s liking, but a persistent draft touched the room with a slight chill.
Five other very well dressed couples conversed in the room. When the new arrivals entered, they all turned toward the Graf and his visitors. Graf von Taaffe pulled Aksinya gently ahead of him, “Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you, the Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna.” Everyone made a deep bow or curtsy. The Graf continued, “My son, Ernst is courting the Countess."
A quiet mummer ran through the ballroom.
Graf von Taaffe smiled, “I will introduce the Countess to each of you when it is convenient for her.”
Aksinya blushed again, “Please continue, I will be pleased to make your acquaintance.”
The entire room made an obeisance to her again.
The Graf laughed and gestured Ernst forward. He placed Aksinya’s hand on Ernst’s arm and announced to the group, “Accompanying the Countess is her aunt and uncle, my friends, the Freiherr and Freifrau Bockmann. You all are acquainted with them already. And also, the Countess’s lady-in-waiting, a member of the Russian court, the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska.”
The group bowed to the Freiherr, Freifrau, and Natalya.
The Graf nodded to Ernst, “Come Ernst let us introduce the Countess.” With Natalya directly behind them, the Graf led Aksinya around to each of his friends and holders. They were mostly lower nobility and some politicians from the local area. None were as high as a Freiherr in rank.
When the introductions were finished, Aksinya had only a few moments to stand at one of the fireplaces beside Ernst while he engaged in conversation with his father’s guests. Aksinya didn’t speak much to them. She didn’t have time to become comfortable before a house servant came around to announce that dinner was served.
I left out an important observation yesterday. I'm certain you saw it, but just to make sure. When Ernst's father offers his arm to Aksinya, this is most proper--the Count should escort the Countess. Anything else is really unthinkable in the society, but Ernst frowns when he gives his arm to Natalya. Everything is proper, but you should wonder, why did Ernst frown. The first reason is the most obvious, he wanted to escort Aksinya, the Countess, and not Natalya. The second, if the Graf allowed Ernst to escort Aksinya, the Countess, that would be a direct indicator of his father's pleasure and certainty that Ernst is ready to assume the duties as Graf. Ernst wants this approval very much, especially in front of Aksinya. We will see very soon how this all plays out.
The scene setting continues inside the house. As I've mentioned before, my point is to provide enough description to spark your own imagination. I agree with Arlo Guthrie and Ernest Hemingway on this that too much description makes a book like a movie or a screenplay. You don't want to give so much to your readers that they are locked in the view only the author or producer imagined. You want to give scope to the reader's imagination to fill out a scene in the boundary of their own imagination. The author must put enough into the description to bound the scene for the reader and install inside it the props necessary for the story, plot, and theme. Too much is a burden on the reader and too little an equal burden.
So the description...I already told you the house looked like a castle and gave some details that focused (bound) your mind in a certain way. The interior just confirms to you the way you knew it had to be. The important point is the temperature. Anyone who has been inside a real castle knows they are impossible to heat. It is the middle of winter. The contrast is the warm welcome of the family and later the guests and the cold thick stone.
Remember the three floors I mentioned before? The ballroom is on the second floor (the floor with the medium sized windows). A string quartet plays a waltz, and the two fireplaces are blazing. The room's still cold. There is a persistent chill through the room--just scene setting here.
We see five couples--so this is a small party, only 16 people total. You can guess they were all hand-picked by the Graf. The reason for this will become obvious later. The Graf introduces Aksinya to the group. This is proper, but even more proper is an individual introduction especially to royalty. I mentioned this before too. The Graf tells them Ernst is courting Aksinya. There is some excitement at the announcement, but they likely already know this juicy tidbit of gossip. The Graf wants everyone to know--especially Aksinya, that he accepts her and accepts his sons decision. Look at the etiquette of the group. It is perfect--they are hand-picked. Aksinya's reply is perfect too.
The Graf places Aksinya's hand on Ernst arm. In this group and at this time, he is willing to hand over the countess to his son. The precedence of rank is obvious here. He has announced that they are courting, this is indeed the right thing to do, but he still stays close--he is not willing to give the appearance that he is handing anything else over to his son.The Graf then introduces the rest of the newcomers. Note, the Bockmanns know these people. Surely, at a party so far out of Wein, there might be a single person the Bockmanns might not know. No, the Graf wants this to be a perfect party and evening. He has picked the people for their decorum and rank. They all know the Bockmanns--there will be no surprises tonight. That is the obvious intention of the Graf. The Graf laughed for pleasure. He is happy everything is working out just as he planned it.
The Graf with Ernst then takes Aksinya (and Ernst) around the room to make private introductions. You can guess what these are like--I don't need to tell you. Natalya follows obediently along. We find that these people are all holders to the Graf in one way or another.
Aksinya is chilled and uncomfortable. She knew what this party would be like from the beginning--she knows all about parties. Isn't she the one who ended up a wallflower at the Advent party? Finally, it is time for dinner--that's a bit of luxuria Aksinya can delve into. Tomorrow, dinner at Steinholtz.
Showing posts with label Bockmann. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bockmann. Show all posts
Friday, March 4, 2011
Sunday, November 7, 2010
A New Novel, Part 35 Freiherr and Freifrau Bockmann
I know I have been remiss at revealing everything in the book--I hope you caught it. I don't think I will have the opportunity to revisit anything unless there are specific questions. In this installment, I will show you extensive scene setting in the narrative. First, I will show you enough description of the interior of the house to allow your own imagination to take over the rest. There is a critical balance in not showing too much--that overburdens the reader and chokes the storyline. And too little--that leaves the reader adrift without an appropriately set scene. Note, the characters too. Here I introduce two important secondary characters. They must have their own descriptions.
They made their way up the marble steps up to the large front door. The servant opened the great oaken portal and let them in.
They entered a wonderful and huge marble and statue lined entry that overlooked an enormous open ballroom. They stood in an unenclosed foyer bordered before them by a wide set of stairs that led down to the floor of the ballroom. On the other side of the ballroom, twin wooden stairways led to the second floor. The stairways climbed into each other and joined then separated again and continued to the upper floor.
When Aksinya, Natalya, Asmodeus, and the servant entered, a host of maids descended on them. They took Aksinya’s coat and Natalya’s cloak. Aksinya then spotted a very well dressed man and a woman who had descended, unnoticed, to the center of the house’s converging stairways. Asmodeus stepped forward and called in a loud voice, “May I announce, the Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna and her lady-in-waiting, the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska.”
The man and woman made their way slowly down the steps. The moment Aksinya’s coat had come off, she began to shiver. She had not eaten, and she was cold. She wondered automatically if the demon had anything to do with her sudden discomfort. He turned to her that moment and grinned. Aksinya scowled back at him. She impatiently watched her uncle and aunt make their way to them. She certainly would not move. She was too cold, and she knew how these things worked. She had lived in this type of society all her life. It was a painful reminder of the life she left when her family died.
Her uncle and aunt finally made their way to the ballroom floor and stepped slowly across the ballroom. They made their way to the wide foyer steps and then up them. Her uncle stood before her and grasped her hand. His face was thin and well lined. Still, it seemed as jovial as Aksinya remembered it. She always thought he endeavored to convey a haughty appearance of aristocracy, but that attempt was constantly overwhelmed by his gentle features. He sported a wide mustache and a pointed beard. He put the unnecessary monocle in his left eye this time. He routinely forgot which eye was supposed to require it. This evening, he wore a fine woolen suit with coat and tails. He went to his left knee and touched her white-gloved hand with his lips. He spoke in German, “Countess, I am your uncle, Freiherr Herman Bockmann, and this is your aunt, the Freifrau Brunhilda Bockmann. I hope you remember us. I welcome you to our home.” He stood and Aksinya’s aunt stepped forward. Aksinya had remembered her name was Brunhilda. She always thought that was so funny when she was a child. Freifrau Bockmann was tall and stout. She had a well endowed bosom and clothing that was just a little too small for her. Aksinya remembered her mother’s words about Aunt Brunhilda, “That her sister-in-law was always one season and one size out of style.” Aksinya couldn’t help but smile at the remembrance. Indeed, Aunt Brunhilda wore a silk dress of a bright summer hue. Yet, she wore it with grace. Aunt Brunhilda looked well in anything.
Aunt Brunhilda took her hand and curtsied to the floor, “Welcome, Countess.” She glanced up and smiled, “I am so glad you came to us.”
Did you notice the revelation (or perhaps a remembrance) of some of Aksinya's past. This little revelation ties Aksinya into the scene and bridges the relationship with her aunt and uncle.
Next the description of the Bockmanns. I give you a little paradox in each. First, I introduce Freiherr Bockman. He is not a caricature of an Austrian Nobleman. I tell you he is a Freiherr (not a Baron), that puts your thinking outside the normal box. Next, he is described as attempting to be the caricature of an Austrian Nobleman--we knew that from before in the dialog of the demon. Second, Freifrau Bockmann is described as wearing too tight clothing that is out of style, but still she appears elegant. These small paradoxes force you to see the characters as more than simply stereotyped nobles. They also force you to think about the characters. This locks them in your brain. I can then remind you in later scenes and reset your thinking to let you see them as the characters they are.
Next, did you notice how the demon is manipulating Aksinya. He brought her in an open carriage (likely from manipulation of her uncle or a suggestion in the telegram--why let out all the demon's secrets at once). She has not eaten. The maids too her coat. She is wearing the dress he chose--it is lace and thin. She is freezing. We feel her impatience in the slow walk of her aunt and uncle to greet her. We will see how this fits in the next installment.
Finally, I reminded you of the relationship between Aksinya and her uncle and aunt--this is new information. It ties Aksinya to these people through her mother and gives you a hint about her mother.
You can see there is a lot in each tiny piece of a scene. I should get to this detail in every "revelation" to you, but I usually don't have time. This is Sunday and I am drinking a caupachino, a martini with olives and avocado, and smoking a great cigar. In a moment, I will be adding to chapter 11. Happy reading.
They made their way up the marble steps up to the large front door. The servant opened the great oaken portal and let them in.
They entered a wonderful and huge marble and statue lined entry that overlooked an enormous open ballroom. They stood in an unenclosed foyer bordered before them by a wide set of stairs that led down to the floor of the ballroom. On the other side of the ballroom, twin wooden stairways led to the second floor. The stairways climbed into each other and joined then separated again and continued to the upper floor.
When Aksinya, Natalya, Asmodeus, and the servant entered, a host of maids descended on them. They took Aksinya’s coat and Natalya’s cloak. Aksinya then spotted a very well dressed man and a woman who had descended, unnoticed, to the center of the house’s converging stairways. Asmodeus stepped forward and called in a loud voice, “May I announce, the Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna and her lady-in-waiting, the Lady Natalya Alexandrovna Obolenska.”
The man and woman made their way slowly down the steps. The moment Aksinya’s coat had come off, she began to shiver. She had not eaten, and she was cold. She wondered automatically if the demon had anything to do with her sudden discomfort. He turned to her that moment and grinned. Aksinya scowled back at him. She impatiently watched her uncle and aunt make their way to them. She certainly would not move. She was too cold, and she knew how these things worked. She had lived in this type of society all her life. It was a painful reminder of the life she left when her family died.
Her uncle and aunt finally made their way to the ballroom floor and stepped slowly across the ballroom. They made their way to the wide foyer steps and then up them. Her uncle stood before her and grasped her hand. His face was thin and well lined. Still, it seemed as jovial as Aksinya remembered it. She always thought he endeavored to convey a haughty appearance of aristocracy, but that attempt was constantly overwhelmed by his gentle features. He sported a wide mustache and a pointed beard. He put the unnecessary monocle in his left eye this time. He routinely forgot which eye was supposed to require it. This evening, he wore a fine woolen suit with coat and tails. He went to his left knee and touched her white-gloved hand with his lips. He spoke in German, “Countess, I am your uncle, Freiherr Herman Bockmann, and this is your aunt, the Freifrau Brunhilda Bockmann. I hope you remember us. I welcome you to our home.” He stood and Aksinya’s aunt stepped forward. Aksinya had remembered her name was Brunhilda. She always thought that was so funny when she was a child. Freifrau Bockmann was tall and stout. She had a well endowed bosom and clothing that was just a little too small for her. Aksinya remembered her mother’s words about Aunt Brunhilda, “That her sister-in-law was always one season and one size out of style.” Aksinya couldn’t help but smile at the remembrance. Indeed, Aunt Brunhilda wore a silk dress of a bright summer hue. Yet, she wore it with grace. Aunt Brunhilda looked well in anything.
Aunt Brunhilda took her hand and curtsied to the floor, “Welcome, Countess.” She glanced up and smiled, “I am so glad you came to us.”
Did you notice the revelation (or perhaps a remembrance) of some of Aksinya's past. This little revelation ties Aksinya into the scene and bridges the relationship with her aunt and uncle.
Next the description of the Bockmanns. I give you a little paradox in each. First, I introduce Freiherr Bockman. He is not a caricature of an Austrian Nobleman. I tell you he is a Freiherr (not a Baron), that puts your thinking outside the normal box. Next, he is described as attempting to be the caricature of an Austrian Nobleman--we knew that from before in the dialog of the demon. Second, Freifrau Bockmann is described as wearing too tight clothing that is out of style, but still she appears elegant. These small paradoxes force you to see the characters as more than simply stereotyped nobles. They also force you to think about the characters. This locks them in your brain. I can then remind you in later scenes and reset your thinking to let you see them as the characters they are.
Next, did you notice how the demon is manipulating Aksinya. He brought her in an open carriage (likely from manipulation of her uncle or a suggestion in the telegram--why let out all the demon's secrets at once). She has not eaten. The maids too her coat. She is wearing the dress he chose--it is lace and thin. She is freezing. We feel her impatience in the slow walk of her aunt and uncle to greet her. We will see how this fits in the next installment.
Finally, I reminded you of the relationship between Aksinya and her uncle and aunt--this is new information. It ties Aksinya to these people through her mother and gives you a hint about her mother.
You can see there is a lot in each tiny piece of a scene. I should get to this detail in every "revelation" to you, but I usually don't have time. This is Sunday and I am drinking a caupachino, a martini with olives and avocado, and smoking a great cigar. In a moment, I will be adding to chapter 11. Happy reading.
Friday, November 5, 2010
A New Novel, Part 33 Uncle Bockmann plus threats
The arrival in Wein. We see the initial interaction between Aksinya and Asmodeus. The purpose for their coming to Wien isn't clear. Let me explain it to you. The demon wishes to degrade Aksinya as completely as possible. In Russia, he can only see her death. The Bolsheviks murder the aristocrats. In the west much more effective means of degradation are possible. We will see examples very quickly. You can begin to imagine yourself. In Russia, we would get a show trial, some torture, and death. In the west, there are excruciatingly long term means of causing suffering. The courts with a accusation. Ecclesiastical courts with their taint of true evil. Just keep in mind that the purpose of the demon is to do evil--to and for Aksinya.
They exited the train near the locomotive and immediately a carriage with a pair of white horses pulled up to the platform. Natalya laid Aksinya’s heavy mink coat over her shoulders. Aksinya pulled it close, and Natalya tied the clasp under Aksinya’s chin. Natalya pulled her own black woolen cloak over her shoulders. She buried her nose in the thick fabric for a moment, smiled in a very reassured way then tied the clasp.
Asmodeus pointed with his open hand. The carriage driver was overdressed in fine aristocratic livery. He helped Aksinya then Natalya up into the carriage. He put out his hand to Asmodeus, but Asmodeus instead made a gesture toward the driver’s seat. The driver climbed up to his seat and the demon took a place across from the ladies. He faced the rear.
When the driver was in his place, Asmodeus put up his hand and spoke in perfect German, “Proceed driver.”
The driver responded, also in German, “Yes, sir.”
After they exited the station, they were quickly surrounded by tall buildings. When they were well away from the station, Aksinya asked, “Where are we going, demon?”
“You should be able to guess, countess.”
Aksinya glared at him, “You planned this trip. I had no part in it.”
“The answer should be simple, especially for you. I told you, you could not remain in Russia. There was too much danger for you. I also told you I would convey you to a safe place where you could find relatives who would take you in.”
“So where are we going?”
“You don’t remember?”
“This isn’t a game.”
“But it is, countess. It is a great game.” The demon leaned closer to her, “We are enroute to your Uncle’s house. He is a Freiherr of the Austrian realm… and within the aristocracy of not much account. A Freiherr is a baron in Russian.
Aksinya crossed her arms and replied in German, “I understand very well what a Freiherr is.”
The demon continued without a pause, “His name is Freiherr Herman Bockmann. He is your father’s brother.”
Aksinya’s response was tart, “I know who he is.”
“So everything comes back to you now.”
Aksinya glared, “I understood from the beginning.”
“I know you did. Your uncle will love to take care of you. He will be pleased to invite a real Russian countess into his home and society.”
“I don’t like him, and I will not do as you ask.”
“Why don’t you like him? He is upright in his life and his business. Too upright for my tastes, but he is driven by the idea of nobility and aristocracy. He is tempted to it in much the same way you are tempted to touch yourself.”
Aksinya glanced at the lady at her side, “Shut up, idiot demon. Natalya…”
“The Lady Natalya hears what I wish her to hear.”
Aksinya leaned back and put her hand under her chin. She looked out the side of the carriage.
“Listen very carefully to me, Countess.”
Aksinya scowled.
“Whatever your Uncle proposes, you will accept it.”
“And if I don’t?”
“You have already faced that before,” the demon smiled.
“I doubt you will take my clothing off of me in front of my uncle. I don’t think you will harm my servant before him. What do I have to fear from you?”
“If you use your mind, I believe you can imagine many ways that I might make your life miserable. Chiefly, your Uncle thinks of himself as moving in the highest strata of culture, society, and nobility. He is absorbed by it. He celebrates within the church because it separates the common from their betters. What if his niece were reveled as an ugly and common girl who is involved in sorcery? What do you think would happen to his place in society? A countess from Russian is one thing. A countess can be a pathetic being, deserving of pity and love. This specific countess who was chased from her home and lands by the communists and Bolsheviks is especially deserving of pity. Her family was murdered as she watched. On the other hand, an ugly girl who practices sorcery and might have used her curses to escape while she left her family alone to die, is one deserving of only rebuke and punishment.”
“You would reveal yourself…”
“Perhaps, but I am a demon. My position in society is meaningless. To your uncle, his position is everything. The shock might kill him. It would certainly ruin him…and you.”
Aksinya wouldn’t look at the demon, “I won’t promise you anything.”
The demon smiled, “…but you will do as I ask. That’s the answer I wanted from you…”
The demon again gets Aksinya's acquiescence without anything but a threat. He will increase his attacks, but as long as Aksinya doesn't fight back, he will dominate her. If she fights back, she will gain little relief.
They exited the train near the locomotive and immediately a carriage with a pair of white horses pulled up to the platform. Natalya laid Aksinya’s heavy mink coat over her shoulders. Aksinya pulled it close, and Natalya tied the clasp under Aksinya’s chin. Natalya pulled her own black woolen cloak over her shoulders. She buried her nose in the thick fabric for a moment, smiled in a very reassured way then tied the clasp.
Asmodeus pointed with his open hand. The carriage driver was overdressed in fine aristocratic livery. He helped Aksinya then Natalya up into the carriage. He put out his hand to Asmodeus, but Asmodeus instead made a gesture toward the driver’s seat. The driver climbed up to his seat and the demon took a place across from the ladies. He faced the rear.
When the driver was in his place, Asmodeus put up his hand and spoke in perfect German, “Proceed driver.”
The driver responded, also in German, “Yes, sir.”
After they exited the station, they were quickly surrounded by tall buildings. When they were well away from the station, Aksinya asked, “Where are we going, demon?”
“You should be able to guess, countess.”
Aksinya glared at him, “You planned this trip. I had no part in it.”
“The answer should be simple, especially for you. I told you, you could not remain in Russia. There was too much danger for you. I also told you I would convey you to a safe place where you could find relatives who would take you in.”
“So where are we going?”
“You don’t remember?”
“This isn’t a game.”
“But it is, countess. It is a great game.” The demon leaned closer to her, “We are enroute to your Uncle’s house. He is a Freiherr of the Austrian realm… and within the aristocracy of not much account. A Freiherr is a baron in Russian.
Aksinya crossed her arms and replied in German, “I understand very well what a Freiherr is.”
The demon continued without a pause, “His name is Freiherr Herman Bockmann. He is your father’s brother.”
Aksinya’s response was tart, “I know who he is.”
“So everything comes back to you now.”
Aksinya glared, “I understood from the beginning.”
“I know you did. Your uncle will love to take care of you. He will be pleased to invite a real Russian countess into his home and society.”
“I don’t like him, and I will not do as you ask.”
“Why don’t you like him? He is upright in his life and his business. Too upright for my tastes, but he is driven by the idea of nobility and aristocracy. He is tempted to it in much the same way you are tempted to touch yourself.”
Aksinya glanced at the lady at her side, “Shut up, idiot demon. Natalya…”
“The Lady Natalya hears what I wish her to hear.”
Aksinya leaned back and put her hand under her chin. She looked out the side of the carriage.
“Listen very carefully to me, Countess.”
Aksinya scowled.
“Whatever your Uncle proposes, you will accept it.”
“And if I don’t?”
“You have already faced that before,” the demon smiled.
“I doubt you will take my clothing off of me in front of my uncle. I don’t think you will harm my servant before him. What do I have to fear from you?”
“If you use your mind, I believe you can imagine many ways that I might make your life miserable. Chiefly, your Uncle thinks of himself as moving in the highest strata of culture, society, and nobility. He is absorbed by it. He celebrates within the church because it separates the common from their betters. What if his niece were reveled as an ugly and common girl who is involved in sorcery? What do you think would happen to his place in society? A countess from Russian is one thing. A countess can be a pathetic being, deserving of pity and love. This specific countess who was chased from her home and lands by the communists and Bolsheviks is especially deserving of pity. Her family was murdered as she watched. On the other hand, an ugly girl who practices sorcery and might have used her curses to escape while she left her family alone to die, is one deserving of only rebuke and punishment.”
“You would reveal yourself…”
“Perhaps, but I am a demon. My position in society is meaningless. To your uncle, his position is everything. The shock might kill him. It would certainly ruin him…and you.”
Aksinya wouldn’t look at the demon, “I won’t promise you anything.”
The demon smiled, “…but you will do as I ask. That’s the answer I wanted from you…”
The demon again gets Aksinya's acquiescence without anything but a threat. He will increase his attacks, but as long as Aksinya doesn't fight back, he will dominate her. If she fights back, she will gain little relief.
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