Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 308, Entertainment Initial Scene

12 February 2015, Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 308, Entertainment Initial Scene

Announcement: My new novels should be available from any webseller or can be ordered from any brick and mortar bookstore.  Information can be found at www.ancientlight.com.  Check out my novels--I think you'll really enjoy them.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

The four plus one basic rules I employ when writing:

1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

All novels have five discrete parts:
1.  The initial scene (the beginning)
2.  The rising action
3.  The climax
4.  The falling action
5.  The dénouement

The theme statement of my 25th novel, working title, Escape, is this: a girl in a fascist island nation will do anything to escape--a young cargo ferry pilot not following the rules crashes on the island.

I'll make a slight digression because I'm developing advertising and publisher materials for my newest completed novel, Lilly.  Here is the cover proposal for Lilly: Enchantment and the Computer. 

Cover Propsal

The most important scene in any novel is the initial scene.  I'm writing about the initial scene of my newest novel, "Escape."  Escape is the working title.  I'll decide on the proposed title when I finish the novel.  I'm at the eight chapter right now.  That means I've written about 160 pages.

The entertainment (and excitement) should start with the first sentence and paragraph and grow to envelope the first scene.  Here is the first paragraph from Escape (working title).

V10+S10537 Rebecka trudged home alone from the Development Center.  She took the shortcut across the headlands instead of the main road—that way she wouldn’t have to see the pictures of the supreme leader or read the current slogans posted along the way.  She was a sensitivity level ten plus for visual and a sensitivity level ten for smell.  The colors of the posters always upset her and the smell of the processing facility made her nauseous.  Usually Racheal, Robin, and Ruth walked home with her this way, but they had not been released from their shift right away and Rebecka was hungry plus her head hurt.  She always finished her quota early and usually, Robin released her from their shift on time.

Description, description, description--that is the beginning of any novel (scene setting).  Notice, there is little scene setting and lots of character description.  The little scene setting is hidden in the narrative--the posters and the supreme leader--not to mention the processing facility.  This is a first cut for the first paragraph--it could be stronger, but the point is to draw you into the story.  Would this make you publish my novel?  Would this make you want to read it?  This is the question you must as yourself.  Like I said, this is a first cut--I haven't been through the novel twice--I haven't finished it.  Already, however, I'm thinking--how can I make it marketable as a novel.   

More tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com

Writing Ideas - Vampire Novel, part 144, Revelation Writing skills how to develop Storyline, Entertaining, Rising Action

1 September 2014, Writing Ideas - Vampire Novel, part 144, Revelation Writing skills how to develop Storyline, Entertaining, Rising Action

Announcement: We are in the countdown phase for the publication of my new novels.  The date on the internet is 1 September.  We will see how close we come, or if the publishers meet the deadline.  My Aegypt novels will be titled Ancient Light, and the next two books will be called Sister of Light  and  Sister of Darkness.  These were the original titles.  They will be released individually and as a 3 in 1 volume.  The proposed cover and info can be found at www.ancientlight.com.  I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

The four plus one basic rules I employ when writing:

1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

All novels have five discrete parts:
1.  The initial scene (the beginning)
2.  The rising action
3.  The climax
4.  The falling action
5.  The dénouement

The theme statement of my newest novel, Valeska, is this: An agent of the organization becomes involved with a vampire girl during a mission, she becomes dependent on the agent, and she is redeemed.

Here is my proposed cover for Valeska:

I decided on a white cover style.  You can see more at www.GoddessofDarkness.com.

In modern writing, we set the scene and then we use the conversation and narrative to reveal details about the characters and the place.  The point is first to set the scene.  Your readers can't stare at a blank stage for very long before they dup your book.  Set the stage immediately for every scene.  Start with the place (that is the stage).  Add in the details.  Give the time (time, date, year, etc.).  As the characters come on the stage, describe them.  Like I have written before, a novel is like a play.  Imagine a play presented while you are wearing a blindfold.  That is a novel without sufficient description.  At least give your readers as much as they would see--that is showing.  I always worry about writers who do not give sufficient description.  What then is their writing about?

Set the stage in time, place, and character description.  You don't need Victorian levels of detail, because if you are writing well, you can use the conversation and narration to give us more details.  For example, if I describe a park with a path, I can further describe the path as pebbled through either a character's remark, a narrative description that adds to the path description, or an action narrative.  Here are some examples:
 
     A fine path meandered through the low trees and short grass.

    Jane stumbled as she stepped onto the path, "I hate pebbles."

    Jane lit her cigarette.  The path was pebbled and tugged at her light shoes.

    Jane stepped onto the pebbled path.

If you want to add to the description to enhance and expand the scene setting, these are some ways to do it.

More tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com

Writing Ideas - Vampire Novel, part 143, more action Writing skills how to develop Storyline, Entertaining, Rising Action

31 August 2014, Writing Ideas - Vampire Novel, part 143, more action Writing skills how to develop Storyline, Entertaining, Rising Action

Announcement: We are in the countdown phase for the publication of my new novels.  The date on the internet is 1 September.  We will see how close we come, or if the publishers meet the deadline.  My Aegypt novels will be titled Ancient Light, and the next two books will be called Sister of Light  and  Sister of Darkness.  These were the original titles.  They will be released individually and as a 3 in 1 volume.  The proposed cover and info can be found at www.ancientlight.com.  I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

The four plus one basic rules I employ when writing:

1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

All novels have five discrete parts:
1.  The initial scene (the beginning)
2.  The rising action
3.  The climax
4.  The falling action
5.  The dénouement

The theme statement of my newest novel, Valeska, is this: An agent of the organization becomes involved with a vampire girl during a mission, she becomes dependent on the agent, and she is redeemed.

Here is my proposed cover for Valeska:

I decided on a white cover style.  You can see more at www.GoddessofDarkness.com.

Description can also be incorporated into conversation and action narration.  In fact, a perfect balance in modern writing is to deviate from early writing in this regard.  In the past, writers many times would write extensive passages of description and scene setting.  They generally placed these long passages at the beginning of the scene--they were excellent settings, but too much.  A perfect example of this can be found on Mill on the Floss. The author goes on and on in description to build the world of the place.  This might have appealed during the high days of Dickens, but it won't cut it today.  Unfortunately, today, authors seem to have lost the fine sense of scene development and dig immediately into the action.

If you see novel writing as character revelation, you should be able to realize both the problem with Dickens' era over description, and modern lack of description.  In the early days of the novel, you can cut the writers some slack for overusing the omniscient and narrative voice.  They were developing the art of the novel.  Today, you have too many good examples to not understand.  If you take my rules of thumb, developed from Arlo Guthrie's Field Guide to Writing and use at least 300 words for your major characters and 100 words for minor characters.  For a scene setting, use at least 300 words.  These are minimums, but the will give you a good basis for descriptions.

Now, realize that all the other stuff the Victorian Era writers were trying to put in their descriptions must come with character and place revelation.

More tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com

Writing Ideas - Writing Science Fiction, part 18 more Science Fiction Characters

18 August 2013, Writing Ideas - Writing Science Fiction, part 18 more Science Fiction Characters

Announcement: My novels Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness are about to be published. I write this blog about 2 months prior to its publication. I just heard that the proofs will be here soon--likely before the end of the week. My publisher also wants to put the entire set of novels based on Aegypt on contract--that's 5 more novels for 8 total. They also want to put my other novels on contract. The release schedule should be one novel every 2 months. I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

The four plus one basic rules I employ when writing:

1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

The first point about characters is that you must have a physical description.  This description needs to be at least 100 to 300 words long.  Within physical description: what does the character look like.  Their facial features, their height, weight, their demeanortheir hair and eye color are basic physical description.  Secondary physical description is their clothing, tattoos, hair style, shoes.  You can show your readers quite a lot through this basic description.  Here is the initial description of Sir Devon de Tieg (secretly Devon Rathenberg) from The Fox's Honor. 

This young man was arrayed in colloquial finery. An officer’s uniform, yes, but the style and the natural materials left little doubt that it and its owner obviously came from a culturally deprived planet.  The gentleman’s boots were real leather; they creaked. His pants bloused over his boot tops, and as he walked they swaggered like a Cossack dance.

The seneschal announced the young officer: “Sir Devon de Tieg, Knight of the Red Cross.” A small number of the Duke’s less cautious guests let loose a traveling titter that lost its momentum in a few muffled guffaws.

The knight said nothing. Those who recognized the order of a Knight of the Red Cross instantly sobered, and the Duke made a second appraisal of the man.

The knight’s eye glinted with his bold smile, and he strode across the broad floor of the ballroom. His ceremonial dagger clinked against his left leg, balanced by an oddly shaped cylinder on his right, and his knight’s spurs jingled with each step. He stopped with a flourish and a low bow before the Duke. “My lord Falkeep, will you grant me the privilege of a dance with your daughter, the Lady Tamar?”

There are a couple of big points I want to make with this description.  The first is this--note how much I show you about the knight with just description.  I don't need to tell you anything about some of the things I describe--you realize their importance right away.  All of this description is about the secondary characteristics.

The second point in this description is that it is wholly science fiction.  There are elements that could be from a historical setting, but the description punches the points about a culturally deprived planet, his real leather boots (compared to those that are more modern), and to the odd weapons at his belt. 

In science fiction, try to make your descriptions sing science fiction.  That's the point of writing science fiction, after all.  If your characters can be found around the corner, you might be setting your novel in the wrong century. 

Note the character has a name--names are the next point.  I'll get to the other attributes later.

Remember, I'm trying to show you and give you examples of how to write a science fiction theme statement and turn it into a plot.

For more information, you can visit my author site www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

Writing Ideas - How I Start a Novel Part 4, Scene Building

8 July 2013, Writing Ideas - How I Start a Novel Part 4, Scene Building

Announcement: My novels Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness are about to be published. I write this blog about 2 months prior to its publication. I just heard that the proofs will be here soon--likely before the end of the week. My publisher also wants to put the entire set of novels based on Aegypt on contract--that's 5 more novels for 8 total. They also want to put my other novels on contract. The release schedule should be one novel every 2 months. I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

Why and what: you need to begin scene writing with the input and a "what." The "what" is something that will be entertaining to your readers. Let's continue with the example of Dana-ana. The main character has been accused of stealing lunches in school and is about to be beaten for it. The tension in the scene is obvious. The excitement in the scene builds through the description and conversation. Description is the critical ingredient in building the scene. You have to set the scene for your readers. I follow Arlo Guthrie's advice and use description in many ways to tell the reader when, where, and who. Without description the reader isn't anywhere. You have to establish the reader in the world you are building in the scene. I do this early on. Let's look at the first few paragraphs of Dana-ana:

     The yells of students burst from the halls and classrooms and pressed into the yard. Byron Macintyre was carried along with the crowd. He just wanted to get to lunch. He rolled his eyes and kept up with the moving mob. The halls of their old school building were not very wide, and the lockers on either side made them smaller. The high school didn’t have that many students, but when they were all out of class and moving in one direction, it was nearly impossible to travel anywhere else. Byron figured he would just wait until he could get outside the doors, then he could duck back to his locker, the cafeteria, and then the library.

Byron was tall, but he still couldn’t see what was going on ahead. Out of exasperation, he yelled over the noise of the crowd, “What’s going on?”
From beside him, one of the sophomore girls laughed, “It’s that girl Diana. The stinky skank, who wears crappy clothes.”
Yeah, Byron knew about Diana. Everyone knew about Diana. She was never very far from trouble with teachers, students, or parents. She didn’t have any friends, but she usually kept a low profile.

In these few paragraphs, I establish for the reader the place (a High School with some info about the school), the time (it's lunch, modern world is kind of obvious too), Byron, and the main character, Dana (Diana). This, in my mind, is necessary. You have to establish the reader solidly in the scene, then you can let them go to experience the rest of the action. Note, the action moves even in this descriptive portion. You can't let your readers loose by simply stating a description. You need to keep your readers involved throughout. Once you establish the basics of where, when, and who for a scene, you can continue to build with description in the conversation and narrative.

One more point about scenes: show don't tell. Don't tell us motivations. Don't reveal everything. Show us what is going on in the scene and let it play out like in real life. You don't know motivations in the real world. You don't know what others are thinking. You don't know even that much about yourself--sometimes. Reality becomes real in a scene when the reader can see the entire situation, but doesn't know the internal motivations of the actors. This is the way of the real world. This is what builds tension in the real world--and this is what drives the power of a scene. Tomorrow, I'll delve deeper into moving the scene through conversation and narrative. You can read the rest of the chapter at www.Dana-ana.com

See more writing secrets at www.ldalford.com.

For more information, you can visit my author site www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

Writing Ideas - Description 101

3 July 2013, Writing Ideas - Description 101

Announcement: My novels Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness are about to be published. I write this blog about 2 months prior to its publication. I just heard that the proofs will be here soon--likely before the end of the week. My publisher also wants to put the entire set of novels based on Aegypt on contract--that's 5 more novels for 8 total. They also want to put my other novels on contract. The release schedule should be one novel every 2 months. I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

Description is a necessary part of writing. I return to Arlo Guthrie Jr.'s advice that whenever you introduce a character you must provide a 100 to 300 word description that defines the physical characteristics, not necessarily internal characteristics of the character. Internal characteristics must be developed through showing us the character--don't even think about telling us what they think. Tell us what they look like--you can skillfully slip into this description something about the person's character. Telling is necessary in setting the scene and then letting the character loose in the novel. This is not a break from the rule of showing and not telling. This is setting the scene.

Character description example from Aegypt www.AegyptNovel.com:

Mr. Audrey.” Paul clasped the Englishman’s hand as he dismounted.

Lionel Audrey was a medium-height man with thinning brown hair. He wore a heavy wool suit, but he had removed the coat. Perspiration salted his brow and made his face glisten. Audrey
looked young, but his eyes were surrounded by wrinkles. He squinted out from under his thick glasses as if the glass wasn’t the right prescription, or as if he sought to penetrate further than just the surface. In spite of this impression, Audrey’s attitude was breezy and facile. He didn’t speak; he lectured in an arrogant Oxford accent.

You can see how this gives life to the character and sets him apart from everyone else in the novel. When Audrey is reintroduced and mentioned, there are many characteristics that can be used to refer to him that brings the character back into the minds of the reader.

Likewise, you must set the scene. Tell us about the weather, the environment, the feel of the place, and what it looks like.

Scene setting from Aegypt www.AegyptNovel.com (place description):

The sun rose like a flame. The horizon boiled with the vigor of the lifting sun, and across the scorched rock and sand, the wind sang along with the moving light. Shadows moved in its wake
across the already hot plain. Paul already felt the sweat on his back and neck. The still air in the fort left the perspiration warm and heavy under his clothes, and he longed for the morning wind to make its way to him.

Without warning, a swirl of air touched him, but it wasn’t any relief. The breeze was hot and filled with the acrid dust of the Chott Djerid depression. He could feel it in his lungs, and he lit another cigarette to wipe the vile taste away. Below him, the wind-born dust swirled in tiny dust-devils around the diggings. The desert itself seemed to be trying to cover over the
gaping wound there.

The Tunisian workers were already stirring, ready to enter the cooler depths of the pit, ready to dig for the gold they hoped to pilfer under the noses of the archeologists, and they would. Paul had seen it happen too many times before. Their culture was different. The Englishmen wouldn’t or couldn’t understand that.

Paul took a long drag on his cigarette, nearly burning it back to his fingers. The sun stood like a flaming ball precariously balanced on the horizon for a moment, and Paul wondered briefly whether it would go forward or fall back.

He looked down at the diggings. The shadows wavered crookedly across the dark opening. Paul fancied he could see the essence of the ages spilling out of that black hole. It lingered in the waste as if the ancient plain were as timeless as the secrets hidden under that dull and
shifting surface.

This tells us a lot about the time, day, weather, and scene. This allows the reader to fall into the narrative and see what is happening. We also discover something about what is going on without telling the reader--we show the reader. We pull it from the knowledge of the main character without telling.

See more writing secrets at www.ldalford.com.

For more information, you can visit my author site www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, Complete Example

11 January 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, Complete Example

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. This is another example of a simple scene setting. This setting is complete.  Although this scene follows within the same chapter, it is a complete setting that doesn't depend much on the scene before.  There is no setting in absolute time, but there is in relative time.  The absolute time comes from the context in the novel. 

Aksinya’s uncle and aunt took them to an Orthodox church on Sunday morning.  It was the Orthodox Ecclesia close to Sacré Coeur and her house.  The Ecclesia was in an old building that had not begun as a church at all.  The exterior was dark aged stone.  It was a low building with a roof that shot upwards in a graceful arch that lifted to a high Saxon styled point near the back.  The interior was very luxurious but filled with items that were obviously not part of the original building or of the same style.  The pieces appeared as though they had come from many different places, but they were all beautiful.  The font was silver and the communion patens and cups gold.  The large cross at the back was a wonderful sculpture with gold and silver highlights.  The icons were the most perfect ones Aksinya had ever seen, and she had seen many.  Natalya stared in awe.  They were a little late and sat at the back.  An older priest, a young priest, and a deacon took care of the very long communion service.  It was in Greek and Russian and exactly what Aksinya and Natalya were used to. 
 

The focus of this scene setting is the Ecclesia in Wien.  The description of the place is necessary and critical to the plot and the theme of the novel.  If you read the novel, you know that Father Dobrushin is one of the priests.  He is willing to give up everything for Aksinya, and he is ultimately the  reason for her redemption.  This is an example of how the setting is both important in the here and now of the novel and for future events.  This is why for places, you should give 100 to 300 words of description--just like people.

My Notes: once you have a theme, you need to begin to visualize your plot, focus your theme, and define your characters. More tomorrow.I'll move on to basic writing exercises and creativity in the near future.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. Just a thought. Take care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, http://www.thefoxshonor, http://www.aseasonofhonor.com/.

Scenes - Scene Setting, Who, Examples

29 November 2012, Scenes - Scene Setting, Who, Examples

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

I told you I would show you some examples.  These are from the novel, Aksinya.  First we have the beginning of the novel.  This includes some very important scene and novel setting.  Within this first part is the description of Aksinya.  The description is wound up with the place setting.  This is one method to set a scene and integrate the character description into it. 

      The dank stone room was filled with shadows.  Every corner oozed darkness.  Within a pentagram that was encompassed by a circle stood a slight young woman.  Fat yellow beef-tallow candles marked the points of the pentagram and weakly illuminated only the area around her.  A brazier of incense filled the room with the scent of myrrh along with an underlying smell that was indeterminate, but left a taste of blood in the mouth.  The woman was dressed in a black gown that was much too large for her.  Beautiful hand made lace cascaded down the front of the dress and decorated the sleeves.  Thick velvet competed with black satin to form a perfect attire to greet a Tsar, but certainly not a commissar.  The gown fell loosely away from the woman’s thin chest and small breasts.  It looked odd draped on her body, like a girl playing dress-up from her mother’s closet.  But this gown obviously came from the closet of a princess.

Aksinya, the woman within the pentagram, squinted across the dark cellar.  She was barely eighteen and much too thin for her age.  She was petit; that was a polite way of saying small.  And underdeveloped, that was a polite way of saying she didn’t yet appear much like a woman.  Aksinya’s hair was dark brown and silky and beautiful, bound up in a long braid, but her face was plain and Russian, so Russian.  Her voice was soft and sometimes too shrill.  When she was excited it rose in strength and pitch, so she never sounded very mature or well mannered. 

Aksinya stood in the middle of the pentagram.  She held a book in one hand, and the bodice of the dress in the other.  It kept falling away from her chest and although there was no one to see, she felt uncomfortable and underdressed when it did.  She squinted across the cellar again and focused back on the book.  She knew the words and the pictures in the book by heart.  She had memorized them long ago, but still she sought them like an anchor against the storm she was about to release.  In the dark—she hadn’t thought about how dark it would be, she could barely read the text.  Finally, she took up an extra taper from the floor and lit it from the closest candle.  She had to hold the taper in one hand and the book in the other, which almost completely revealed her chest, but that couldn’t be helped now.

This initial description of Aksinya is about 420 words long.  There is more to her description that is included in the first scene.  You should read it again to get the full effect of the narrative and description.

The next description is that of the demon.  This description is also intermeshed in the rest of the description and action in the scene.  The demon gets over 300 words.

A great roar filled the cellar, and she almost dropped.  She didn’t.  Her voice rang out more clearly.  A hot sulfurous wind rushed through the place and Aksinya smiled.  Then she forced her face back to blandness.  There was a dark flash, a scream like the sound of metal cutting metal, and across the cellar, in the corner suddenly was a shape.

Immediately, Aksinya’s words changed.  They words of enticing and cajoling became those of welcoming and greeting.  They leapt automatically from her lips.  As she spoke, she carefully watched the shape across the room.  It began to move.  At first it slowly rose and fell as though it was just beginning to breathe, and then it began to grow.  It unfolded like a flower, but this flower was like nothing beautiful the earth had ever seen.  It was man-shaped and black.  Its skin and muscles clung to it as though it was only bone and muscle without any fat at all.  When it had unfolded completely, it touched the top of the ceiling, at least seven feet tall.  More than two meters.  Its limbs were long and at the end of its fingers were talons and of its feet were claws.  They were black too.  It’s face was black and handsome.  Fangs jutted out of its lips on the top and the bottom, but the face was aristocratic and fine.  At its head were ears that lifted up points like an animal and horns at either side. 

The creature was naked, and Aksinya’s eyes moved almost without her control downward.  There was nothing there.  It was like an expurgated statue.  There was nothing but a pubic bulge.  Aksinya wasn’t certain whether to be disappointed.  She raised her hands in the final greeting and let them fall.

Next, we have the initial description of Natalya.  Natalya is the girl whom the demon forces Aksinya to accept as her lady-in-waiting.  We get more about Natalya later, but this is the initial description.

“Your estate now…” the demon purred.  He continued, “They are an aristocratic family, a royal family.  They have a servant who takes care of their daughters and waits on the Prince’s wife.  She is a lady-in-waiting, and here she is.  Near the head of the table, the door opened.  It wasn’t a door for a servant since the top was rounded.  The girl who came in was petite and beautiful.  Her hair was dark and silky.  Her eyes were luminous.  Her skin was pale and smooth.  In all, she appeared very aristocratic and refined.  Her clothing, likewise, though not as expensive as the gowns of the ladies around the table, fit her perfectly and brought out the best in her figure and features.  It was not unusual that when she entered, the eye of every man and every woman turned toward her.  She whispered to one of the older women at the table and sat against the wall behind her.

When you introduce a character, spend at least 100 to 300 words introducing them to us.  That introduction is a description of their features, movements, and clothing.  I'll give you more examples, tomorrow.
My Notes: once you have a theme, you need to begin to visualize your plot, focus your theme, and define your characters. More tomorrow.

I'll move on to basic writing exercises and creativity in the near future.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: Please elaborate on scene, theme, plot, character development in a new novel creation....ie, the framework, the development, order if operation, the level of detail, guidelines, rule of thumb, tricks, traps and techniques.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovelthesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, http://www.thefoxshonor, http://www.aseasonofhonor.com/.

Development - Terrible Teasers

14 April 2012, Development - Terrible Teasers

Introduction: I realized that I need to introduce this blog a little. I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. The working title was Daemon, and this was my 21st novel. Over the last year, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

The steps in making and using a character in a novel are as follows:

1. Development of the character (history, description, personality, etc.)
2. Revelation of the character (within the novel, show don't tell)
      a. Description of the character - introduction
      b. Voice of the character
      c. Continuing revelation by showing

In a classical plot (and in most of my novels) you have a protagonist, an antagonist, and a protagonist's helper. If you develop these three characters for a novel, the plot will naturally fall out of the development of the characters.

I want to talk about teasers and sale's blurbs for books.  I'm not certain how long this will take, but the world needs to hear it. 

I've been increasingly disturbed by teasers and book blurbs that will never sell a book.  How do I know?  I read them all the time on Amazon.  If they excite my interest, I go check out the book.  Let's talk about teasers and blurbs for a little.  First, the point of a teaser or a blurb is to interest a reader in your book.  Second, if the reader is interested, they will then go to your book site or to a bookseller and review your book--perhaps read the first chapter or whatever is in the "Look Inside" feature.  Third, if they like what they see, they will hopefully purchase a copy.  Fourth, they will read your book and like it therefore propelling your book to the bestseller lists.

Notice, if you don't get past step 1, you won't sell a book.  I have to tell you, the latest indie teasers I've read have been not just terrible, they have been monumentally terrible.  How bad are they?  I already told you, I will check out any book whose teaser interests me.  I promise.  Most of the time, I find the first chapter doesn't propel the work, but hey, that's en entirely (well not entirely entirely) different problem.

I've been seeing some horrible teasers and blurbs in the indie scene. I'll discuss that tomorrow and get back to introducing the theme in the first scene later.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com/, http://www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, http://www.thefoxshonor.com/, and http://www.aseasonofhonor.com/.

Development - Scene Setting in the Picture of the Creative Process

7 March 2012, Development - Scene Setting in the Picture of the Creative Process

Introduction: I realized that I need to introduce this blog a little. I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. The working title was Daemon, and this was my 21st novel. Over the last year, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

We have an initial description of Aksinya, the main character, and of Asmodeus, the demon.  We know about their backgrounds and history.  We have the setting in time and space.  The final element is the setting for the first scene.  With that last piece, we will have enough of the creative process complete to set the entire novel in motion.  Remember, I keep advising you as a writer to physically describe your characters and physically describe the scene setting.  I showed you examples for Aksinya and the demon.  Here is the initial scene setting from the novel Aksinya:

     The dank stone room was filled with shadows.  Every corner oozed darkness.  Within a pentagram that was encompassed by a circle stood a slight young woman.  Fat yellow beef-tallow candles marked the points of the pentagram and weakly illuminated only the area around her.  A brazier of incense filled the room with the scent of myrrh along with an underlying smell that was indeterminate, but left a taste of blood in the mouth...
      Aksinya stood in the middle of the pentagram.  She held a book in one hand, and the bodice of the dress in the other.  It kept falling away from her chest and although there was no one to see, she felt uncomfortable and underdressed when it did.  She squinted across the cellar again and focused back on the book.  She knew the words and the pictures in the book by heart.  She had memorized them long ago, but still she sought them like an anchor against the storm she was about to release.  In the dark—she hadn’t thought about how dark it would be, she could barely read the text.  Finally, she took up an extra taper from the floor and lit it from the closest candle.  She had to hold the taper in one hand and the book in the other, which almost completely revealed her chest, but that couldn’t be helped now.

Aksinya read from the book.  The words weren’t Russian, her mother tongue, and they weren’t the French of the

Russian Court

.  They weren’t the Greek their priest pounded daily into her head.  The language was Latin.  She had studied it secretly for years.  She had memorized all the Latin books she had found hidden in the unused guesthouse at the back of the estate.  With nothing else to do, she had spent every free moment teasing out the secrets of these books for just this moment.  Aksinya was tired of being nothing and being helpless.  She intended from this moment forward to never be helpless again.

     She read the ponderous Latin from her book.  The cover was black, and a pentagram was worked into the ancient leather.  The book was old, ancient.  The pages were yellowed with age.  In spite of that, the pictures and words were perfectly preserved as if time inside it had been slowed to a stop.  The words of the book were dark and evil.  Aksinya knew them well.  She knew their meanings.  She forced her lips to form them, but this wasn’t the first time she had forced her lips to make these dark words.  For years and years she spoke them.  She manipulated the world through them.  She made the world obey her with these ancient words.  She let her mind flow to the word—sorcery.  Aksinya made magic.  She had taught herself from the dark books she found, and here and now, she made the most horrible of magic.

There is more than simple description in this description.  Part of it is about Aksinya and part of it is about the times and the place (all scene setting).  This is a style and a technique for description.  This is an especially good way to integrate description in an action scene.  You get a revelation of the scene along with the action in the scene.  This is also a method to build tension.

We'll look more at the creative process in Aksinya tomorrow.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com/, http://www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, http://www.thefoxshonor.com/, and http://www.aseasonofhonor.com/.

A New Novel, Part 318 I am Mrs. Aksinya Andreiovna Lopuhin

18 August 2011, A New Novel, Part 318 I am Mrs. Aksinya Andreiovna Lopuhin

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Dobrushin and Aksinya married.  The last we knew, they were contemplating travelling to Boston in the United States... 

Aksinya swung off the streetcar and skipped down the Union Park in Boston.  She wore a tweed dress and a jaunty tweed cap.  She carried a leather briefcase her Dobrushushka had given her at her graduation only a month before.  It reminded her of the briefcase she owned when she attended Sacré Coeur, but she never remembered carrying that one herself.  She was very proud of this briefcase—it held her diploma in linguistics and teaching from Radcliffe College.  Radcliffe was one of the few woman’s college she could attend since all the Catholic ones excluded her.  She had mostly escaped notoriety, but still she and Dobrushushka attended a very small Russian Orthodox Church near his office. 

Aksinya spotted Saint John the Baptizer Greek Orthodox Church across the street and started counting the buildings down from it.

She and Dobrushin had been in Boston for a little over four years.  They were delightful years.  She already wondered what she would do to seduce him tonight—it had been two days already since the last time.  He was already a partner at the law firm.  Everyone in the firm knew he was married, but Aksinya rarely showed her face there.  Dobrushushka begged off officially because of her schooling.  That was a good thing, she didn’t need notoriety.  She didn’t want her Dobrushushka to lose this job.

Aksinya halted when her counting reached the correct house number and glanced at the building.  She stopped skipping and walked carefully up the stairs in front.  The sign was right beside the door: Sacred Heart of Christ, Russian Orthodox Seminary for Young Women and Girls.”

Aksinya smiled.  That sounded like just the place for her.  All the other schools where she applied to teach mistook her for a student.  None of them had called her back.  She luckily heard about this place from a friend at their Ecclesia.

Aksinya pulled the bell.  After a couple of minutes a matronly woman dressed as a chamber maid answered the door.  She was pleasant looking.  Aksinya smiled and announced in English, “I am Mrs. Aksinya Andreiovna Lopuhin.”

This is an entirely new scene and location.  First, I set the scene.  I do this by showing you Aksinya's actions.  She swings off a streetcar and skips down Union Park (that's a street).  I give you a description of her clothing.  Do you remember the type of clothing she wore once before--it was silk and satin.  In the beginning of the novel, she was dressed in a dress fit for a princess--that didn't fit her well.  Now, she is dressed like a Kelly Girl.  She has on wool--it is nice clothing, but not very fine.

I give you another past reminder and some information.  She carries a briefcase that was a gift from Dobrushin at her graduation only a month before.  This tells you that she went to school.  I also tie the briefcase to Sacré Coeur and to Natalya (Aksinya never carried her old briefcase).  I use the briefcase as a tool to tell you her degree and her college.  Then I remind you that she couldn't attend any Catholic colleges. 

I give you more information: they attend a small Ecclesia and near Dobrushin's office.  Do you see how I am bringing you up to date about Aksinya and Dobrushin just using description.  I really haven't told you anything.

Then more of the setting.  The church on Union Park and Aksinya counts the buildings to find the proper address.  More information--they have been in Boston more than four years.  This is mixed with a little of Aksinya's thoughts--to tell you how precious Dobrushin is to her, and how they keep her nobility a secret.  Again, mixed with this is information that Dobrushin is a partner in the firm.  The reminder here is that Aksinya's notoriety could lose Dobrushin his job.

So, Aksinya arrives at her destination.  She stops skipping.  Did you get that before?  Aksinya is so happy, she skips.  She stops intentionally to not give the wring impression.  The name of the school is another connection with the past.  Sacré Coeur means Sacred Heart in French.  The sign is in English (I don't have to tell you).  The name is why it is just the right place for her.  

Then I give you some information--Aksinya's appearance is young and small.  The schools where she applied mistook her for a student, and they didn't call her back.  We also find that Aksinya heard about this school from a friend in the Russian Ecclesia.  This is an important connection. 

At the end of this piece, Aksinya announces herself to the maid.  A maid answering the door indicates the wealth and status of the school.  Tomorrow, the school.

A New Novel, Part 315 Love Me

15 August 2011, A New Novel, Part 315 Love Me

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Dobrushin and Aksinya married.  They came to the room Dobrushin took in the hotel near the center of Wien.  The demon, Asmodeus, appeared and attacked Dobrushin but mortally injured Aksinya. The angel Raphael bound the demon and turned back the harm done to Aksinya... 

Raphael smiled, “Until you are one, there is no marriage in the eyes of God.”  With a flash and a low gonglike sound, the angel was gone.

Dobrushin lifted Aksinya in his arms.  She was chilled.  He laid her in the bed and undressed.  Then he gently tugged the ruined dress off her body.  His heart caught in his throat.  She was slim and wonderfully made, not the full curves of a woman, but the slight form of a dancer.  The crucifix lay between her small breasts and the burn scars caused by it permanently marked her chest.  Dobrushin slipped into the bed and pulled the covers over them.  Dobrushin held her left hand.  Scars covered it.  He kissed each one.  He held her cool body close to his and kissed her forehead then eyelids.  He felt her body begin to warm next to him.  She gave a start, and her eyes flashed open, “Where is the angel?”

“He has gone.”

She felt her body, “And I am whole… and naked.”  She turned toward Dobrushin and touched him, “And you are also naked.  Her breath caught, “Still, that is bad because I had more questions for him, but it is good, because I want you to love me.  Now is the time for you to truly marry me.  Kiss me, Dobrushka.”

He kissed her.

“Touch me here and here.  And kiss me there,” she moaned.  After a while she reached for him, “Can you tell.  I am ready for you.”  She lay back and her arms slipped around him.   He reached around her shoulders.

Dobrushin whispered, “I am as new to this as you.  I can’t find the right place, help me.”

Aksinya laughed, and moved her hands downward.  He pressed forward, and with a mutual gasp, they came together.  Aksinya wrapped her body around his and cried out with amazement.  She trembled over and over and then relaxed.  His body shuddered once then again and again.  Finally he lay still.  Aksinya held on to him and wouldn’t let him move.  She kissed him and kissed him again.  Finally, she let him roll to the side, but she still clasped him possessively.

From the beginning, you might never have guessed this could be a resolution.  In this scene, I produced a second climax to resolve the problem of the demon, and I gave the appropriate solution to Aksinya's desire.  Aksinya lost everything, but she gained Dobrushin.  She gained love and salvation. 

I also wanted to give you a scene that is unusual in literature--simply a scene of lovemaking between a husband and wife.  The novel appropriately resolves on many levels here.  Aksinya and Dobrushin's interaction is both moral and logical.  I also wanted you to see the innocence of their love.  My publisher might not let it stand, but here it is in this cut of the novel. 

In the first part of the scene, the description allows you to see Aksinya through Dobrushin's eyes.  Did you wonder?  He loves her.  She is not build like a model, but rather like a dancer.  I also wanted you to see the permanent marks on her body.  She paid the price for each one.  Dobrushin realizes this.  He honors her for her suffering, but also for her persistence and power.  Dobrushin was allowed to see the spiritual through Aksinya.

Aksinya's first thought is for the angel.  She wanted to speak to it.  I build the tension through Aksinya's conversation.  I show you their lovemaking through Aksinya's words.  She calls Dobrushin by a diminutive.  Almost the entire scene here is conversation, yet it conveys the most intimate of human action.  This is the use of advanced writing techniques to show and not tell.  Tomorrow, plans.

A New Novel, Part 85 Physical Description

I built the setting for chapter 8, so we should expect the focii to be sorcery, the Bockmanns, and German class.  Indeed they shall.  Right now, I use the writing technique of description through another's eyes.  I like to interject this in my novels especially for the main characters.  Unlike many authors, I know what my characters look like, and I have not written a novel where I intentionally made a generic character.  A generic character is one that the reader can directly connect with.  Such a character is intentionally not described well so the reader can associate themself better with them.  On the other hand, my characters are specifically created not to be generic.  I try to draw them crisply.  The reasons for this are first, each character must be unique.  My themes demand this, and I don't want the ERB (Edgar Rice Burroughs) effect where a reader can't tell one of my characters from another.  I write each of my characters in every novel to be their own person, so different from one another that there is no way to mistake them.  Second, the characters make the novel.  If the characters are generic or if they blend, then there is no way I can design a powerful theme.  So, I like to remind you of the characters salient physical descriptions and I especially like to do this thorugh the eyes of another character.  In this case, Freifrau Bockmann.

Freifrau Bockmann gazed at her two charges. The one had a boyish figure and a sharp face. It was so typically Russian it almost hurt to look at her. Her features were not very lovely, but her clothing fit her perfectly and she was dressed exquisitely. Her hair was arranged with a touch of genius. The Lady Natalya had made the most of so little although Freifrau Bockmann thought she could see evidence that it was finally growing out. The young countess before her might not be very lovely to look at but her manner and manners were perfect. She sat and stood and walked exactly as you would expect from a countess or even a princess. Yes, she had the perfect demeanor of a princess. Plus that look in her eyes. The Countess Aksinya’s eyes gave an impression of majesty, strength, and power. That seemed very odd to the Freifrau Bockmann.


The Lady Natalya, on the other hand, was a perfect opposite to her countess. Her face was lovely. Her figure was like an opening bloom. Her proportions were exact and perfect. She looked like the picture plates you found in novels about the royalty. Her appearance seemed like a perfect reproduction in life of one of those still portraits. She didn’t show the exact and perfect decorum the Countess did—her face and actions were much more lively. She seemed the exact counterpoint to the Countess, and the Freifrau Bockmann knew, they were both very intelligent.

There is much more behind this description that simple description.  See Aksinya, boyish figure, sharp face.  If you haven't seen a Russian woman with these types of features, I suggest you take a look at Russian nobility.  Many times, their features are so Russian, they are difficult to look at.  Ugly is not a proper word for such features, but they are exaggerated. Note, the beauty of Aksinya is in her deportment and manners--in this regard, she is perfect.  The Lady Natalya draws out the most from Aksinya's meager endowments.  This is that Lady's gifts.  The Freifrau observes that Aksinya's hair is growing out--do I need to explain why this is important?  Look at the description of Aksinya's deportment--like a princess.  The repetition is intended to seal this idea in your mind.  This is a foreshadowing that won't see fruition until chapter 17, but you've had this foreshadowing before.  The Freifrau also notes the odd look in Aksinya's eyes.  Remember, Aksinya appears young though she is nineteen (changed from the original age of 17) at this time.  The Freifrau notices her maturity, but we knew that. 
 
Natalya appears physically like a perfect noble lady.  So perfect, the Freifrau compares her to a portrait.  Natalya is much younger.  I'm not certain I told her age, but I intended her to be fifteen.  She and Aksinya are comparable, nonetheless.  Comparable because Natalya appears more mature physically and Aksinya appears less mature physically.  Aksinya's age also indicates she likely won't grow much more.  If you think about this very deeply, you will realize a painful truth for her--she will not change much.  She has reached the peak of her physical beautify and yet, she is not beautiful.  Tomorrow, school from the impression of Aksinya and Natalya.