Scenes - Scene Setting, Revelation

7 April 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, Revelation

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

Revelations come in all kinds of varieties.  In this case, it is a small revelation for the theme and for the plot.  It is about "love."

Father Dobrushin smiled, “In spite of that, I shall always honor you, Princess.”

“You are very kind to me, thank you.  Please sit, as I have no other defenders.  I’m glad Matushka Ekaterina chose not to come.”

“She would have come except Father Makar would not permit it.”

“Have I caused another problem?”

“It is not you…”

“Then the demon?”

“Father Makar has not been happy with you since you escaped to the Ecclesia.”

“He believes I am insane.”

Father Dobrushin’s brow creased.

Aksinya lowered her eyes, “I overheard…”

“So I guessed.”  Father Dobrushin pulled a stack of papers out of his briefcase, “Princess Aksinya, I intend to defend you to the best of my ability.  I don’t wish you to go to prison or the workhouse.”

She crossed her arms, “I asked before, why would you care?”

He folded his hands, “Because you think the way you do, that is difficult to explain in a way you might understand.  A normal person would not ask why, they would simply be grateful for the assistance.”

“Do you think I am insane?”

Father Dobrushin took her hands, “Look at me, Aksinya.”

She raised her eyes to his.

“I do not think you are insane.”

“Then would you tell me why you are helping me?”

He laughed, “You are a Russian Princess.  That should be enough for any honest Russian.”

“Father Makar doesn’t think so.  Does that mean he is not an honest Russian?”

Father Dobrushin drew in a deep breath, “Father Makar is an honest Russian, but he thinks your problems are all mental.”

“If they are all mental, doesn’t that mean he should show me even greater sympathy?”

Father Dobrushin smiled, “Sometimes you astound me.”

“Is that good?  Is that why you are helping me?”

He cleared his throat, “I am helping you because you are a Russian and a refugee.”

“I know you have helped many refugees, Ekaterina told me, but is that the only reason?”

“You confessed to Christ through me.  Since that time I have been determined to help you.”

Aksinya smiled, “You are my priest and confessor.  I am glad you haven’t given up on me.”  She glanced away, “Ekaterina has also been a great help to me,” she finished quickly, “but I am glad she is not here to see my shame.”  She brought her eyes back to Father Dobrushin, “Do you love me like she loves me?  Do you think she loves me like a friend now?  Is that why you are helping me?”

“About that, you’ll have to ask the Matushka.  She does love you, and I love you.  I’m not certain I am your friend, but I would like to be.”

“Because I astound you?”

“That and many other things.”  Father Dobrushin pulled out a fountain pen and began to organize his papers. 

Aksinya is very bright.  She is not so good with people or social interactions.  She is ignorant of them. She asks a question that is very important to her--it is probably less important to the readers and likely of great important to Dobrushin, but which he doesn't want to address.  The question is simple: why are you defending me?  The answer is not so simple and Aksinya wants an answer--sh demands an answer.  The answer is not given completely because Dobrushin doesn't really want to touch it.  I really wanted the readers to get this point--it has been on going since Aksinya was in the Ekklesia.  The question is about love.  Aksinya doesn't really understand love.  Ekatrina tried to tell her about one type of love, but there are many types of love.  Aksinya knows this and is seeking this in a larger sense.  Dobrushin basically tells her he is defending her because he loves her, but the reader catches the conotation--like Ekatrina loves Aksinya.  The question is still on the table: why is Dobrushin defending Aksinya?  We still don't know the degree of suffering Dobrushin has gone through to defend her.  We will eventually find out.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

For more information, you can visit my author site at www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, a Drunken Dance

21 February 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, a Drunken Dance

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

There is an aftermath to everything.  The confession leads to a kiss.  The kiss leads to Natalya's anger.  They all result in Aksinya getting drunk.  This has been her response to tension.  It is certainly not an appropriate response, but it is typical.  Aksinya is both happy and sad and her response is based on this.  Her words to the Graf express this.

They both returned to the ballroom.  Until they entered the rooms Graf von Taaffe’s servants provided them, Natalya did not speak to Aksinya again that evening.  She stuck close to Aksinya for the rest of the event.  After Ernst rejoined the party, he did not let Aksinya out of his sight.  Natalya watched Ernst with frosty eyes. 

Aksinya sat beside the large fireplace closest to the dining room and outside the draft that blew constantly through the long room.  She drank and stewed.  She would not engage anyone in conversation for very long, but that didn’t matter, the party was winding down and the couples were primarily interested in dancing. 

Near midnight, Graf von Taaffe stepped to Aksinya’s side, “Countess, would you honor me with this dance?”

“Why not?” Aksinya’s words were only a little slurred.  Her Russian accent cut through the German.  Aksinya had feigned weariness to fend off the other invitations she received that evening.  She wished Ernst would ask her to dance again.  She knew she could not beg off this offer from her host.  She stood a little shakily.

The Graf took her hand in his and placed his arm around her back.  He led her into the waltz, “I didn’t notice your Russian accent before, Countess.”

Aksinya tried unsuccessfully to pronounce her German words as she usually did, “I was not drunk before.”

“Drunk?  You seem very steady on your feet for being drunk.”

“I’m used to it.  I’m sorry, I should have said, I had drunk too much wine before and not that I was drunk.”

The Graf smiled, “I have happy news for you.  I hoped you had as happy news for me.”

“I’m drunk.”

His smile slipped a little, “Yes, I understand.  I didn’t see the ring on your finger.  Then your answer to my son was not an affirmative?”

“I have not given him my answer yet.”

Graf von Taaffe’s smile widened again, “He told me he would begin to train to take over the business.  I think he is completely serious about you.”

“He said as much.  He said he loves me.”

“Indeed, he has never, to my knowledge, told a woman that before.”

“That makes me happy.  I would have liked to have kissed him a little longer.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Aksinya made a face and an unmistakable gesture of her head toward Natalya.

“Your chaperone.  I understand.  I would very much like you to accept my son as your husband.  You would be very good for him.”

Aksinya raised her eyes to the Graf’s and cocked her head.

“We don’t have many young women, even in the aristocracy, whose presence brightens a room like yours.  You are an absolute treasure to the nobility.”

Aksinya smirked.

“You may laugh at me, but you move and act like a princess, and I have seen many princesses.  Most of them couldn’t hold a candle to you.”

Aksinya snickered.

“You laugh again?”

“Sir, my face is plain and my body is boyish.  I indulge too much, and I…” She continued in a mumble, “I have other faults not so visible.”

“Yet, by walking into a room you captivate it.  By simply existing, you capture the attention of everyone around you.”

“If I were not a Countess, I would be nothing.”

The Graf raised her hand to his lips, “If you were a washerwoman, I believe you might have captivated my Ernst.  Whatever you did, it ensorcelled his heart, and I can easily see why he is fascinated by you.”

Aksinya pushed back from him, “Temptation.  I am a temptation.”

“Yes, you are, and I’m glad your eyes are at least on my Ernst.”  The Graf let go of her hand and stepped back.  The music ended, “Thank you for the dance, Countess.  Even drunk, you are a wonderful partner.”  He bowed.

Aksinya gave a slight curtsy, “Now, Franz, you may not leave me here.”

“Why not, Countess?”

“I will be unable to make it back to my seat without your help.”

The Graf von Taaffe turned a trifle to the side and signaled Ernst.  Ernst rushed to them.  The Graf took Aksinya’s hand and put it in Ernst’s, “Please Ernst, escort the Countess and her lady-in-waiting to their rooms.  The Countess might stumble.”  He winked at his son.

This scene is filled with Victorian power.  If you understand the times, you will get much of what is going on.  You can still understand the basics even if you don't know much about the culture.  There are significant cultural markers in the text so a complete understanding isn't necessary.  I show you the culture and allow you to understand it from within.  That's the point of any good historical fiction.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, A Kiss

19 February 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, A Kiss

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

Now the anticipation developed through the last couple of chapters of the novel has a release, and we start a new buildup of tension.  Actually, tension and release are not simple and singular.  There should be levels of tension and release and overlapping tension and release in any complex novel.  There are many tension builders in these scenes, but at this point, we focus primarily on this one--the love interest of Ernst.

Ernst glanced at her.  He hesitated a moment, “Very well.”  He led Aksinya to where Natalya sat.  Aksinya made a sign to Natalya.  Ernst held to Aksinya’s fingers on his arm and took her back toward the parlor.  He led her through the room and to the entrance to a smaller sunroom on the other side.  The music from the ballroom still sifted to them.  He touched the back of a chair and glanced at Natalya, “I wish to speak privately with the Countess.  Would you sit here by the door?  You can still observe us though the opening.”

Natalya glanced at Aksinya.  Aksinya nodded to her.  Natalya sat in the chair, and Ernst led Aksinya to the end of the sunroom.  The small room was like an enclosed balcony.  The outer wall was glass and overlooked a courtyard within the interior of the building.  A low stone wall stood at the end as though the balcony had once been open, but the glass had been added later.  He rested against the edge and held Aksinya’s hands.  She pulled her hands from his and leaned on the top of the wall.  The top was unfinished stone with some crumbling mortar in between.  She picked at the loose pieces of it, “What did you wish to say to me that you couldn’t say in the ballroom?”

“The reason I am so interested in you.”

Aksinya toyed with the mortar, “I was about to tell you… you are interested only because of the sorcery.  I understand that.”

He stared out at the darkened courtyard, “It isn’t the sorcery.”

Aksinya picked at the mortar a little more fiercely, “It has always been about the sorcery.”

“Why are you trying to tell me how I feel about you?”

“It is obvious.  It is because of the sorcery.  Isn’t that what you told me before?”

Ernst grabbed her hands and made her look at him, “It is obvious that I love you.”

Aksinya tried to pull her hands out of his and turned her face away, “It is obvious because of the sorcery.  Don’t bring in such ideas as love.”

“I’m telling you, Aksinya.  It isn’t the sorcery.  I love you.”

“You…you used my name.”

“Sorry, I’m telling you, it isn’t the sorcery.  It never was the sorcery.  That was just an excuse I used to get close to you.”

“You said you were trying to accomplish sorcery, and you wanted me to teach you.”

“I lied.”

“You said my courtier told you about me.”

“I heard about you from your uncle.  He pointed me to your courtier.  I don’t know why the subject of sorcery came up with him.  I have been studying it.  I have been completely unsuccessful.  I know I can’t really do it.  It requires a faith in the world I don’t have.”

“So you took my book just to get me to go to the ballet with you.”

“Your courtier said there was no other way to convince you.  I wanted to get to know you.  You are an astonishing person.  In my mind, you are a perfect woman.”

Aksinya mumbled, “Ha, you know nothing about me.”

“But I do know a lot about you now.  Everything I know, I love.”  Ernst pulled Aksinya closer to him, “Listen to me Aksinya.  I want you to be mine.”

She trembled and tried to pull away, “What do you mean by that?”

“I want you to marry me.”  He pulled her close again and put his lips on hers.  Aksinya allowed him to kiss her.  She sunk into his embrace.  They stood there for what seemed like to Aksinya for a long time.  Slowly he let her go, and she settled back with her feet solidly on the ground.
 

There we have a release.  First a love confession followed by a kiss.  This is a release of tension in the novel.  The anticipation was that the reader expected something like this.  Part of the excitement and entertainment was that perhaps the reader didn't expect exactly this reaction or action from Ernst.  The point is to have a character act true to form, but in ways the reader anticipates but doesn't fully expect.  This is a complex balance in writing.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

A New Novel, Part 317 I Like to be in Control

17 August 2011, A New Novel, Part 317 I Like to be in Control

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Dobrushin and Aksinya married.  They consummated their marriage and are speaking together... 

“You were much more passionate before.”

“Shall I be passionate again?”

“Yes,” she trembled as she stroked his face, “But I have an important request.”

He tried to make out her face in the dim light, “A request.”

“It’s wet and sticky over here.  Can I sleep on your side of the bed?”

Dobrushin let out a great laugh, “It’s a little damp over here too.”

Aksinya scowled, “What did you do to me?”

“Didn’t you like it?  Wasn’t it what you always desired?”

“Yes, but I didn’t think it would be so messy.”  She pressed herself very close to him, “I want to be on top this time.”

He smiled again and tried not to laugh, “Why?”

“I like to be in control, and the wet place will be on your side and not mine.”  She placed her lips on his and did not remove them.

Aksinya had him twice more and both times she was on top.  They slept very late into the next day.                     

I always wanted to use this kind of scene and event as a kicker.  The point is to show love between married people.  Too often the only passionate lovemaking between people is illicit.  I wanted to show a married couple who were delighted with one another.  I've done this with my other novels to one degree or another, but this novel, because of it's tie to marriage, I wanted to be a little more detailed and intimate. 

The scene at the end is one that plays out often in real life, but I wanted to make the joke stick and drive the point of Aksinya's personality home.  It is a fun end and a gentle conclusion to a novel that has been very tense throughout.  The novel could end here, but I had a much better idea.  I wanted to resolve it a little more tightly, so I have a secondary dénouement.  It's really an epilogue, but I don't like epilogues, so I'll just tie it to the end of this chapter and tomorrow we will see what happens.

A New Novel, Part 315 Love Me

15 August 2011, A New Novel, Part 315 Love Me

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Dobrushin and Aksinya married.  They came to the room Dobrushin took in the hotel near the center of Wien.  The demon, Asmodeus, appeared and attacked Dobrushin but mortally injured Aksinya. The angel Raphael bound the demon and turned back the harm done to Aksinya... 

Raphael smiled, “Until you are one, there is no marriage in the eyes of God.”  With a flash and a low gonglike sound, the angel was gone.

Dobrushin lifted Aksinya in his arms.  She was chilled.  He laid her in the bed and undressed.  Then he gently tugged the ruined dress off her body.  His heart caught in his throat.  She was slim and wonderfully made, not the full curves of a woman, but the slight form of a dancer.  The crucifix lay between her small breasts and the burn scars caused by it permanently marked her chest.  Dobrushin slipped into the bed and pulled the covers over them.  Dobrushin held her left hand.  Scars covered it.  He kissed each one.  He held her cool body close to his and kissed her forehead then eyelids.  He felt her body begin to warm next to him.  She gave a start, and her eyes flashed open, “Where is the angel?”

“He has gone.”

She felt her body, “And I am whole… and naked.”  She turned toward Dobrushin and touched him, “And you are also naked.  Her breath caught, “Still, that is bad because I had more questions for him, but it is good, because I want you to love me.  Now is the time for you to truly marry me.  Kiss me, Dobrushka.”

He kissed her.

“Touch me here and here.  And kiss me there,” she moaned.  After a while she reached for him, “Can you tell.  I am ready for you.”  She lay back and her arms slipped around him.   He reached around her shoulders.

Dobrushin whispered, “I am as new to this as you.  I can’t find the right place, help me.”

Aksinya laughed, and moved her hands downward.  He pressed forward, and with a mutual gasp, they came together.  Aksinya wrapped her body around his and cried out with amazement.  She trembled over and over and then relaxed.  His body shuddered once then again and again.  Finally he lay still.  Aksinya held on to him and wouldn’t let him move.  She kissed him and kissed him again.  Finally, she let him roll to the side, but she still clasped him possessively.

From the beginning, you might never have guessed this could be a resolution.  In this scene, I produced a second climax to resolve the problem of the demon, and I gave the appropriate solution to Aksinya's desire.  Aksinya lost everything, but she gained Dobrushin.  She gained love and salvation. 

I also wanted to give you a scene that is unusual in literature--simply a scene of lovemaking between a husband and wife.  The novel appropriately resolves on many levels here.  Aksinya and Dobrushin's interaction is both moral and logical.  I also wanted you to see the innocence of their love.  My publisher might not let it stand, but here it is in this cut of the novel. 

In the first part of the scene, the description allows you to see Aksinya through Dobrushin's eyes.  Did you wonder?  He loves her.  She is not build like a model, but rather like a dancer.  I also wanted you to see the permanent marks on her body.  She paid the price for each one.  Dobrushin realizes this.  He honors her for her suffering, but also for her persistence and power.  Dobrushin was allowed to see the spiritual through Aksinya.

Aksinya's first thought is for the angel.  She wanted to speak to it.  I build the tension through Aksinya's conversation.  I show you their lovemaking through Aksinya's words.  She calls Dobrushin by a diminutive.  Almost the entire scene here is conversation, yet it conveys the most intimate of human action.  This is the use of advanced writing techniques to show and not tell.  Tomorrow, plans.

A New Novel, Part 312 Not Innocent, Only Forgiven

12 August 2011, A New Novel, Part 312 Not Innocent, Only Forgiven

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Dobrushin and Aksinya married.  They came to the room Dobrushin took in the hotel near the center of Wien.  The demon, Asmodeus, has appeared... 

The demon took a sniff.  He glanced around, “Your surety.”  He stared at the heart-shaped necklace in the incense and his eye twitched.  Already the flames licked around it.  Already it blackened and glowed.  Aksinya could detect a smell unlike the frankincense.  It was a smell like fresh caviar, but sweeter.  It was the sweetest scent Aksinya had ever known.

Asmodeus cried out, “I haven’t much time.”  He snarled again and took a step toward Dobrushin, “You, man, shall die.”  He raised his arm and rushed at Dobrushin.  Dobrushin stuck out his arms to protect himself.

At the last moment, Aksinya grabbed for the demon.  She jumped forward and interposed her body between the demon and the man.  Asmodeus claws bit deeply into her.  They cut across her thin body and through her dress, through her skin, through her bones.

A veil of blood rose in the air between the demon and the girl.  Aksinya gave a single gurgling scream and collapsed to the floor.  The demon cringed back.  He leapt again to the side of the fireplace.

Dobrushin cried out.  He knelt beside Aksinya and lifted her head and shoulders in his arms.

Her lips trembled.  Her face contorted in pain, “There, demon, you are in default.  You cannot harm me, yet you have murdered me.”

Asmodeus brought his hands to his face.  His features displayed an appearance that had never been there before.  He glanced all around.

Aksinya’s breath came in whispers, “You must return my surety.  You must release me.  I am truly God’s now and not yours.”

The demon shrieked and was suddenly gone.  The incense sputtered then flared up.  The charm within it fell to ashes.  Aksinya’s hair suddenly became a single long braid down her back.

Dobrushin clasped her in his arms.

Aksinya weakly lifted her hand to the side of his face, “You need not shed tears for me, my beloved, because you released me from the demon.”

Dobrushin held her more tightly, “I can’t let you go so easily.”

“Don’t let go of me, just hold me until I breathe my last.  I’m cold already.”

Dobrushin put his face next to hers and sobbed into her hair, “Please God, don’t take this wonderful woman from me yet.  She is the only one of her kind on your earth.  She was innocent and betrayed by a creature of darkness.”

“Not innocent,” Aksinya coughed, “Only forgiven.”  Blood trickled from her lips down the side of her face.

“Please, dear God, she was forgiven.  She is your child.”

Many pieces in the novel suddenly come together in this part of this scene.  The surety is about to be devoured by the incense.  This is the means to force the demon away Dobrushin determined from his understanding of Aksinya's situation and the Book of Tobit.  The demon does seem to be affected by the destruction of the surety.  He sees it is burning and states: “I haven’t much time.”  Then he attacks Dobrushin.  The point is that Dobrushin was right, the destruction of the surety could force the demon away.  The problem is that the surety has not been consumed entirely yet.

The demon attacks Dobrushin, but Aksinya gets in the way.  In this moment, we see the resolution of one of the subthemes in the novel.  Do you remember that Aksinya was unwilling to give her life for her family.  She couldn't give her life for her friends.  The demon taunted her with this more than once and more than once, Aksinya acknowledged that she couldn't give her life for her friends or family.  In this moment, Aksinya offered her life for Dobrushin's.  She did gain the courage to put her own life on the line for another.  It is significant that he is her husband in name, but not in reality.  They are but friends and she offers herself for him. 

There is much more to this event.  The demon harmed Aksinya.  We saw before that he could torment her, but he could not let her come to harm--that was in the contract.  That was why he was so careful before.  He could not let her die or kill her.  He was very careful each time.  This time, the demon launched a killing blow against Dobrushin and hit Aksinya.  He has murdered her.  This was a direct breach of the contract--thus his reaction.

Aksinya realizes this herself and responds:  “There, demon, you are in default.  You cannot harm me, yet you have murdered me.”  Again, the demon reacts.  He realizes he has made a great mistake.  The moment Aksinya makes her claims, her surety falls to dust and the demon is gone. 

Her hair returns to her head.  This is the main evidence of the contract being broken that could be given.  I don't need to tell you what happened--I showed you what happened.  The contract is obviously at this point void and everything is back to the way it was at the beginning of the book--wait, nothing is the way it was.  The demon carved a great path through the lives of many many people.  He did it because Aksinya called him and because she was tempted.  She lies dying even now.  She will shortly breath her last.  This is the just punishment for her actions.

Note, I show you that Dobrushin is crying, but I don't tell you he is crying (advanced writing technique).  Dobrushin's response is a poignant prayer.  Can't you imagine the power of his prayer.  He now knows the truth that Aksinya gifted him.  He has seen a demon, therefore there must be a God.  Also, Aksinya's acknowledgement: “You need not shed tears for me, my beloved, because you released me from the demon.”

Them I give you the reconciliation of another subtheme in the novel.  Dobrushin cries: "She was innocent and betrayed by a creature of darkness.”  Aksinya's response: “Not innocent,” Aksinya coughed, “Only forgiven.”  That is an ultimate point.  No one is innocent or perfect--they can only be forgiven.  Thus with the threat of Aksinya's death, we have to wait until tomorrow to see what happens to her.

A New Novel, Part 308 This is My Wife

8 August 2011, A New Novel, Part 308 This is My Wife

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Dobrushin and Aksinya married--this is part of the plan Dobrushin believes will rid Aksinya of the demon.  For better or worse, they are bound together in this.  We are not sure of the outcome.  The beginning of every scene and chapter is first scene and chapter setting... 

      Aksinya and Dobrushin rode in the carriage to a hotel near the center of Wien.  It was almost midnight, and she couldn’t read the name.  Aksinya trembled with chill and anticipation.  Within the carriage, she sat close to Dobrushin.  The warmth of his body came to her through her new coat and her woolen dress.  They didn’t speak the entire time.  When they arrived, Dobrushin let her down from the carriage and gave her his arm.  He didn’t have to, Aksinya took it automatically.  She held him tightly as if she never wanted to let him go.

They entered the hotel, and he spoke to her, “Princess, I have arranged a room here.”

The lobby was dark with only a single gas lamp over the reception desk.  From what Aksinya could see, the hotel was a fine but not luxurious place.  Is smelled a little of age and was a bit stuffy, but that description could fit most buildings in Wien.  The sleepy desk clerk sat up straighter.  Dobrushin came to the desk and asked for his key.  He introduced Aksinya, “This is my wife.”

Aksinya gave a broad smile.  The word, wife, from Dobrushin’s lips were very pleasant to her.  She held his arm more tightly. 

Dobrushin led her to the left and up the stairs.  Half the gas lamps had been extinguished and the rest were turned low.  In spite of that, the hall seemed bright since the light wooden walls reflected the lamps’ gentle glow.  Dobrushin stopped before an inner door and unlocked it.  The gas lamp directly inside the door had been lit, but it was adjusted to its lowest setting.  They entered the room, and Dobrushin turned it up bright.  He closed the door behind them.  He gently disengaged Aksinya’s arm from his and removed her coat.  He hung it on the hook by the door.  Then he removed his overcoat and hung it beside hers.  With the taper left in the gas lamp fixture for that purpose, he crossed the room and lit the other two gas lamps.  Aksinya stood before the door unsure what to do.  She glanced around the room.  It wasn’t large.  It had a coal fireplace at one side that was lit with a meager fire.  Extra coal sat in a scuttle at the left side.  The ash pot and implements were on the other side of the opening.  Before the fireplace were two chairs and a low tea table.  Beyond them, a wide window sat in the far wall.  Below the window was a wooden table and four chairs.  At the left was a bed and a desk.  The other two gas lamps were on that wall.  Fine oriental rugs covered the area of the fireplace, the table, and beside the bed and the desk.

I very quickly paint the scene for you with the carriage ride.  It is late and dark and I use an advanced technique by letting you know that she can't read the name.  That means the sign isn't lighted, that it is dark, and indicates it's likely a quiet and congenial hotel.  Aksinya trembles--she's cold and she is anticipating--what else could this girl anticipate on her honeymoon.  We know Aksinya and her desires well.  I build this tension with the description in the carriage.  We note that Dobrushin is a little tense--they don't speak.

When they arrive, Dobrushin is a gentleman and Aksinya is still clingy.  She desires him--she is finally free to have someone.  Dobrushin's words are almost unnecessary, but he speaks them.  I give you a description through Aksinya's eyes.  The clerk likely doesn't care if Dobrushin is bringing in his wife or a prostitute, but Dobrushin is nervous and inexperienced enough to say it.  That is a pleasure to Aksinya.

I show you some history with the details on the lamps.  This is the way it was done at the time.  The chambermaid for the room would light the door lamp and leave a taper.  I show you the process of lighting the lamps and this gives me the opportunity to have Aksinya look at the room.  The details of the room are important.  We shall see more tomorrow.

A New Novel, Part 287 I Will Trade My Virtue to You

18 July 2011, A New Novel, Part 287 I Will Trade My Virtue to You

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Father Dobrushin took Aksinya to dinner.  He told her he is willing to marry her to help her be rid of the demon.  They have reached the end of their discussion--now is the time for Aksinya to decide...

Aksinya sighed, “Your words confuse me, but I am always very simple and direct.  I shall marry you.  I shall do as you ask and require.  I shall pray with you and for you.  All of this to be rid of this demon that eats away at my life and my soul.  It is a fair bargain to trade my virtue to you for all you have done for me.”

“There you are wrong, Princess.  You can desire without sin when the object of desire is appropriate.  You would not give your virtue to me and I would not give my virtue to you.  We would rather retain that virtue together in our mutual desire as husband and wife.”

Aksinya turned a gentle smile to him, “I see.  Sister Margarethe taught me you can love without lust.  Do you intend to teach me that I can love God and still possess desire?”

“I would teach you that you can still love and have desire.”  He smiled, “But you are only allowed desire for me.”

“I see.”

“We should accomplish this soon before the demon can work anymore mischief in your life.  The first step is marriage.” 

“Will Father Makar marry us?”

“I don’t know.” Father Dobrushin lowered his eyes.

“What are you not telling me?”

“It is nothing.  We will ask him tonight.  Perhaps he will do as I ask.”

They quickly finished their dinner and Father Dobrushin hired a carriage to take them to the Ecclesia.

Father Dobrushin told Aksinya that he wanted to see this whole great problem of the demon through because in it he could know the truth of spiritual things.  It made God real to him.  This is one of the subthemes of the novel.  Few patently disbelieve there is some spiritual reality.  Thoughts, emotions, the unexplained are seen to exist in the world of the spiritual.  Most of us seek the truth and reality of the spiritual world.  Because our lives are bound in thought and emotion, we recognize that inexplicable place is real, but we wish proof.  For Father Dobrushin, Aksinya is that proof.  Thus, his words confuse her--she sees them as real, he seeks their reality.  This was the metaphor in the trials.  This was the metaphor in the idea that Aksinya was not sane.  We accepted her sanity as a postulate of the novel.  We ourselves fell for the assumption of a spiritual reality based on the demon.  This is the reality Father Dobrushin wants to experience first hand through Aksinya.  He is willing to give up everything for this.

Aksinya doesn't fully understand, but she is willing to give herself to be rid of the demon.  Listen to her words, she is still in the mindset of a contract:  "It is a fair bargain to trade my virtue to you for all you have done for me.”

And here comes another subtheme explained by Father Dobrushin.  Do you remember Sister Margarethe told Aksinya she could love without desire.  Of course Ekaterina showed Aksinya about the different types of love.  Aksinya has been acting on the preface that to desire is not to really love.  Father Dobrushin is about to teach her about Greek eros.  I don't use the word in the novel because it it so misunderstood in English.  Greek eros is romantic love.  In the Christian worldview that Father Dobrushin represents, marriage is the proper place for eros, phileo, agape, and pathos (sexual love).  A husband and wife don't give up their virtue to each other, they share these loves and retain their virtue.

Father Dobrushin does love Aksinya--he is just a little embarrassed to say it.  This is cultural for the times and place.  He makes a possessive statement to her:“But you are only allowed desire for me.”

There is an element of time here.  They must hurry to see this through.  The demon still prowls the earth and he owns Aksinya through a contract.  They would enact another contract--a contract of marriage.  Of course in the old world and in ancient thought a marriage is not consummated without sex.  That is the point in Tobit.

The large question is where they will be married by contract.  This is normative for their culture and their beliefs.  They must be married in the church (it is a sacrament) before they can consummate it.  The only place they could be married is the Orthodox Church.  Remember, they are not Catholic and the Catholic Church has excluded Aksinya.  They could not excommunicate her--she was not in communion with them.

Then we begin to see there is a problem.  I foreshadowed this problem back at the secular trial.  You know there is a problem in this and Father Dobrushin has not told all.  He doesn't here either.  Soon we will see what this problem is.  Tomorrow, will Father Makar marry them?

A New Novel, Part 284 I Have the Surety the Demon Gave You

15 July 2011, A New Novel, Part 284 I Have the Surety the Demon Gave You

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Father Dobrushin took Aksinya to dinner.  He told her he is willing to marry her to help her be rid of the demon.  Aksinya is speaking...

“If I marry you, I just want one thing.”

“What is that?” 

“You know how I desire.  You must swear to give me all the physical attention I want.”

He shook his head, “Is that all you really wish from me?”

“I always wanted to be held by my mother, she did not hold her children.  My adopted father was affectionate but my mother disapproved.  I have never had enough attention from anyone.”

“That’s all you want—attention.  Doesn’t love concern you at all?”

Aksinya lowered her eyes, “I know you have agape love for me or you wouldn’t have spent so much effort to help me. Ekaterina told me that the love of friends can grow by getting to know and spending time with each other.  I’m not certain we are friends yet either, but I would like to be your friend.”

“We are already friends.”

“Do you realize what could happen to you if what you propose doesn’t work?”

“I do realize the danger.”

She gave him a sly look, “How will you chase off the demon?  Do you have the special parts of a fish?”

“I have this,” Father Dobrushin stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a heart shaped necklace.  “Is this the surety the demon gave you?”

Aksinya’s mouth fell open.  She squeaked, “That is it.  Where did you find it?”

“It was inside your jewelry box just as you described it.”

“You bought it back?”

“I did indeed.  All the merchants to whom your goods were sold were listed in the court documents.  When I paid off the claims against you, I found the jeweler who bought your jewelry.  If you notice…” Father Dobrushin scooted his chair closer to her and Aksinya leaned her head toward his, “If you notice, there is the design of a fish on the pendant.”

My daughter tells me I shouldn't write so much about aggressive women characters.  I tell her I am writing about the unique and there really are people with personalities like Aksinya's.  Aksinya is a young woman who is driven by desire.  This isn't so unusual.  What is unusual is for a person to be so forthright in their desires--especially in this culture and time.

The reason Father Dobrushin knows about Aksinya's desires is because he was her confessor.  He is surprised that this is all she asks of him.  Aksinya then explains more about her life and what she wants.  We could have guessed this from her past. 

Father Dobrushin asks a question that is very important to him.  He obviously wishes Aksinya to love him.  He is more concerned with love than she is.  Her explanation is simple and very specific.  She is willing to get to know him.  Listen to his immediate response: “We are already friends.”  Aksinya is willing to be his wife and lover with the hope they will be friends.  Father Dobrushin wants her to love him.  He doesn't tell her, but isn't it obvious that he loves her.

The part about loving her is wrapped in the next few statements.  Aksinya asks: “Do you realize what could happen to you if what you propose doesn’t work?”  The answer is that the demon could kill him.  This was the danger for Ernst that Asmodeus explicitly told Aksinya at the climax of the novel.  The man who weds and tries to bed Aksinya will die.  The only reason Tobias was not murdered by Asmodeus was he had the help of an Angel who gave him part of a fish to burn in the marriage chamber.

Father Dobrushin has the surety the demon gave Aksinya.  It has on it (from the beginning of the novel) a fish.  Then we see another proof that Father Dobrushin loves her.  We know he paid off the merchants for her.  In addition, be bought back her surety.  We get the details about how he could find the necklace and the merchants.  Tomorrow, there is more to this very important conversation.