Writing Ideas - Writing Historical Fiction, part 11 more Examples

29 July 2013, Writing Ideas - Writing Historical Fiction, part 11 more Examples

Announcement: My novels Sister of Light and Sister of Darkness are about to be published. I write this blog about 2 months prior to its publication. I just heard that the proofs will be here soon--likely before the end of the week. My publisher also wants to put the entire set of novels based on Aegypt on contract--that's 5 more novels for 8 total. They also want to put my other novels on contract. The release schedule should be one novel every 2 months. I'll keep you updated.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

The four basic rules I employ when writing:

1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

Applicable to all writing, I offer my five basic rules again, and I will show you some examples of how to immerse your readers in your writing.

5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing - colliery: immerse your readers in the world of your writing.
If you noticed, I added a colliery. The point here and the point of the question I answered yesterday was: how do you immerse your readers in a completely different world than their own?  I have a foot up because one of my day jobs is to teach people, and in those classes, I try to get them to experience the cultures we are talking about. Writing however is very different than technical writing or teaching. You can't immerse your readers by suddenly giving them a treatise on a culture or history. So I'll provide some examples from my writing.

The first example is description from the novel Aegypt, http://www.aegyptnovel.com/:
"Paul signaled his men to remount. His horse, l’Orage, was skittish and danced back a step as Paul hauled his aching frame into the saddle. Her muscles rippled like silk under her black coat, and Paul touched her gently to soothe her. l’Orage had been his steed for nearly three years, almost half the time he had been in Tunisia.

He had bought her from a Berber’s market on the coast. She was the most beautiful horse he had ever seen. Feral and full of fire, she was uncontrollable in the hands of her merchant owners and stood blindfolded and hobbled in the market horse pen. A demon in the guise of a horse, she was black as charcoal without a trace of lighter markings. Paul knew she was stolen the minute his eyes lit upon her.

He paid in cash—francs, and few of those, because of her temperament. When he entered the pen to claim her, Berbers, Arabs, and Tunisians lined the enclosure to watch the black fiend trample the foolish Lieutenant. Paul walked quietly up to her, and when the laughing merchant stripped off the blindfold and hobbles, Paul spoke a single word. l’Orage calmed immediately and let him stroke her face.

Contemptuously, he led her on a light field-lead out of the marketsquare. The marketplace had turned into a frenzy of babbling men, women, and children. The native peoples sidled out of Paul’s way as if he were himself a demon from the pit. At the edge of the market, to the amazement of the spectators, Paul leapt upon l’Orage bareback and rode off at a gallop. He laughed all the way back to the garrison.

l’Orage was a horse trained for war. She was an Arabian, bred and drilled to the battlefield. She was trained to kill and to the tactics of combat. She was a European’s horse. Paul could tell by her carriage and by the saddle scars on her flanks. Only one type of European warrior had found his way into the wilds of Tunisia: l’Orage had to be a Frenchman’s horse. Paul guessed that, but his confirmation came when he first stood before her, wondering himself if she would strike him before he could speak. His single word was French, and with that single word, he knew she answered to only one tongue—French. Not to the Tunisian or Berber or Arabic her previous masters unsuccessfully tried, only to French. In combat after combat, she proved herself to be, by far, one of the finest horses in the Legion stables."

Right from the beginning of the novel, you have a very short description of how Lt. Bolang bought his horse l'Orage. The description itself tells you a lot about the times, place, and people. It gives you a small window into the character of Lt. Bolang and tells you about the languages and the problem of language in Tunisia. It lets you know the feeling of the people for the Foreign Legion and the fact that horses are still used in warfare at this time and in this place. This is a method of using description to immerse the reader into the times and place and to let them taste the culture and society. By the way, l'Orage means tempest or thunderstorm in French and the description takes place right after a thunderstorm in the desert and a tempest-like attack on Tunisian bandits.

Now an example of using conversation to immerse your reader in the times and place. This is from Centurion, http://www.centurionnovel.com/.

“Where are you from, youngster?” Portius asked Abenadar.
“I came from Natzeret in the Galil.”
“From Natzeret?” said Euodus. “Is the Primus now accepting trash from the provinces?” Euodus was as fancy a man as Abenadar had ever seen. His short hair was carefully shaped to form oiled ringlets in the style of a Persian warrior. His face was angular but well made. He wore a colorful tunic with pins and decorations all over it.
“No, I’m a Roman citizen,” answered Abenadar.
Euodus smiled. “Another bastard child of Rome. You are well placed in this century. We are all bastards of one type or another.”
Portius laughed out loud, but Lupus protested, “I, for one, have a family in Italia.”
“Yes, but does your family claim you?” riposted Euodus.
“They will welcome me back when I am released from service.”
“If your throat is not cut first by these rebels, you may see Italia again.”
Lupus rubbed his throat and made a face. “I wish you wouldn’t put it like that, Euobus.”
“Don’t get carried away, Lupus,” said Portius. “The people fear us.”
“Yes, they fear our blood will splatter their clothing when they slit our throats.”
“Shut up, Euobus,” said Portius. “Come, Abenadar. Don’t listen to his rambling. It is meaningless. As long as we stay together, we are in little danger, and we’re always safe while in camp.”
Without waiting for Abenadar, Portius walked out the door. Abenadar quickly followed behind him. As Portius exited the barracks, Abenadar hurried to catch up. “The camp is huge. How many legions does it hold?”
Portius chuckled. “It doesn’t hold even one.”
Abenadar was shocked.
Portius noted Abenadar’s look and laughed again. “That’s right. This camp holds only two cohorts: the I Cohort, Primus and the X Cohort, Decimus—the first and the last in the III Gallica. Admittedly, the Primus Cohort is the largest and best, but the Decimus isn’t a training cohort. It isn’t made up of inexperienced recruits.” Portius glanced at Abenadar. “You excepted. You will get along well if you can translate in the marketplace, especially if you can speak with the barmaids and whores. I predict you will be a very popular man in the Decimus Cohort.”
“How many men are in our cohort?” asked Abenadar.
“During your training, you will learn how the legion is organized, but I guess I can start your education early. The Decimus Cohort is formed of six centuries. They are called the Pilus Prior, the Pilus Posterior, the Princeps Prior, the Princeps Posterior, the Hastatus Prior, and the Hastatus Posterior. We are part of the Hastatus Posterior, the Lion Century. Each century contains about 80 men. The men are organized into 10 columns of eight each. All the other cohorts from the second to the tenth are put together the same way, but the Primus Cohort is different.”

Here you can see in conversation, I give you many details about the place, times, people, and the Roman Legion. In conversation, Portius goes on to give Abenadar a host of information about the Legions that the reader likely doesn't know and that Abenadar doesn't know. The character and the reader both learn from the experience and the tones and conversation tells you a lot about the fears of the Roman soldiers and their concerns.

Tomorrow, I'll conclude this series on writing Historical Fiction and move to science fiction.

For more information, you can visit my author site www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

Marketing Materials - A Marketing Website, Button One

27 September 2011, Marketing Materials - A Marketing Website, Button One

Introduction: I realized that I need to introduce this blog a little.  I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon.  The working title was Daemon, and this was my 21st novel.  Over the last year, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing.  In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes.  You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published.  I'll keep you informed along the way.  At this moment, I'm showing you the marketing material I put together for a novel.

Today's Blog:  For unpublished novels, there are two other buttons you will want to include, and for published novels four other buttons.  Those buttons are, first, one that brings up an example of your novel.  Usually, this is the first chapter.  Most readers and publishers can tell if they are interested in your novel by reading the first few pages.  If your readers or prospective publishers aren't interested in your novel by reading the first few pages, you have a serious problem.  This is one of the reasons I don't recommend anything that looks like a prologue.  I will admit, I did include prologues in my published science fiction novels, but they are supposed to be humorous and interest the reader in the writing.  Their purpose is to drive the reader into the text.  I haven't heard any negatives about them from any sources, so I think they accomplish their purpose.

You can give an example of your first chapter by formatting it properly (see the post on formatting) and saving it as a pdf.  Most modern versions of word will save the document to a pdf--you just have to tell it.  You usually don't want to put the document out as a word document--they are too easy to change.

Save the document to your folder for documents on your website and make a link button to it.  This is really easy to do in most html editors.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see examples:   http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites:  http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com/, http://www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, http://www.thefoxshonor.com/, and http://www.aseasonofhonor.com/. 

I'll write about button two link tomorrow.

A New Novel, Part 242 You are to Sit There, Child

3 June 2011, A New Novel, Part 242 You are to Sit There, Child

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

The day of Aksinya's ecclesiastical trial has arrived...

In the morning, Frau Becker dressed Aksinya in her thin black dress and brought her breakfast in the room where she had been convalescing.  Just before nine, she led Aksinya to the chapel within the Cardinal’s house.  Aksinya heard the sounds of a crowd outside the building.  She caught a glimpse of men with cameras and writing pads through the windows.  Guards stood at the inner doors.  Inside the chapel was an altar on a slightly raised platform.  Just ahead of the altar sat a bishop’s chair on the platform.  A second smaller chair sat below the platform and about ten feet from the edge of it.  The other seats for spectators where arranged behind this.  They were already filled with many officials of the church.  Aksinya could tell by their robes.  Aksinya recognized the Reverend Mother, the Abbot, and Sister Margarethe near the middle of the crowd.  Some of the higher ranking sisters from the convent, Sacré Coeur, were also there.  Aksinya remembered them from her classes.  A few secular spectators were seated at the back.  Aksinya could tell since they were the only ones without ecclesiastical robes.

Frau Becker led Aksinya to the smaller chair and pointed toward it, “You are to sit there, child.”

As she sat, Aksinya grasped Frau Becker’s hand, “Thank you for your kindness to me.  I shall not forget it.”  She smiled.

Frau Becker covered her face with her free hand, “You are welcome.  I’ve been instructed to help you as you have need.  I’ll sit just behind you.”

“Thank you.”

Frau Becker reluctantly let go of Aksinya’s hand and moved behind her.

We have a transition with scene setting.  First, we dress Aksinya.  She is still wearing her shabby black dress--it is all she has.  Then we set the physical scene.  I let you know, through Frau Becker about the press.  Now, I show them to you.  I give you the time, but not the day.  The description is of the Chapel--that is the location of the trial.  That is where all the action will take place.

Then we see that the Reverend Mother, the Abbot, and Sister Margarethe are all at the trial.  Did you expect to not see them?  They will face another type of trial. 

Frau Becker takes Aksinya to her chair.  She is right at the front below the altar.  Aksinya at the end is kind to Frau Becker.  The Frau has been assigned to look after Aksinya during the trial.  Aksinya is having an affect on some of the people she meets.  Will this do her any good?  Tomorrow, the trial begins.

A New Novel, Part 241 Let Me Testify in Her Favor

2 June 2011, A New Novel, Part 241 Let Me Testify in Her Favor

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is a captive in the residence of the Cardinal of Wien awaiting an ecclesiastical trial for sorcery.  The Inquisitor Esposito came to speak to her about her defense.  Frau Becker follows the inquisitor out of the room...

The Priest went to the door.  Frau Becker pursued him through the opening.  In the hall outside, she called to him, “Inquisitor Esposito.”

The priest turned, “Yes, Frau.”

“You know this girl is not fully sane.  No one can really do sorcery.  No one can do the things this child has been accused of.”

“She has confessed to them, and I don’t see much that I can defend.”

“Listen to me, Father.  For the love of God, you must not allow them to harm her.  Since she has been here, I have not seen anything in her but an honest and contrite woman.  I hear the papers are following everything.  I know there are reporters outside the gates every day.  This trial will ruin her and many others.  It will not help the Church.  It will not lead to anything good.”

“The Pope himself sent us to seek out a resolution to this matter.  It is not in our hands.  It is in the hands of God.  For better or worst, the result will be what it is.  Additionally, Archinquisitor Gallo is a driven man.  He will not let this go until it reaches the bitter end.  The scourging and discipline of the Church and its members is a critical function that we provide.”

“But this will not scourge and discipline.  It will lead to much harm.”

“So you say,” he frowned down on Frau Becker.

“Let me testify in her favor.  I am a member of the Church and can speak to her sanity and her goodness.”

“That will not be allowed.  You are not a witness to any of the charges to which she has been accused.”      

The inquisitor turned on his heel and left Frau Becker standing with her mouth hanging open.

Frau Becker wishes to help Aksinya.  She has been an angel for Aksinya in the house of the Cardinal.  She speaks what any sane person should know: Aksinya can't be guilty because there is no such thing as a demon or sorcery.  Listen to the inquisitor's response: “She has confessed to them, and I don’t see much that I can defend.”  He will determine her guilt on her own confession.  This is patently not allowed in the Church.  Frau Becker understands this, so she begs for them to show mercy to Aksinya. 

From Frau Becker, we also learn what the demon has done--the press is involved.  Whatever comes out in the trial will come out in the papers.  It will indeed ruin everyone involved.  Do you remember how incendiary the events are around Aksinya.  If you have forgotten, the climax of all the events came on the night Aksinya was to give her answer to Ernst's proposition of marriage.  We discovered that Natalya, with the help of Asmodeus, and by Aksinya's own hand, had seduced Ernst.  In today's world this would be nothing--in the world of Austria right after WWI, this is a feature story.  The nobility has not been ended, yet.  The people are looking for respite from the war and a scandal is the perfect thing to take their minds off their own suffering.  A nobleman who stoops to take the lady-in-waiting of a countess to his bed is an affront to Austria and the nobility.  There are two noble families involved in this mess.  There is a Catholic school and a Catholic church.

Frau Becker is right: "This trial will ruin her and many others.  It will not help the Church.  It will not lead to anything good.”

The inquisitor states his position also--he is there to resolve the issue of Aksinya.  There is a parallel here.  We learn about the main inquisitor, Archinqusitor Gallo.  The inquisitor threatens Frau Becker, but she will not back down.  She volunteers to testify in Aksinya's favor.  She is flatly refused.  Aksinya is guilty, and she will stay guilty no matter anything on heaven or earth.  Tomorrow, the trial begins.

A New Novel, Part 240 I am Guilty

1 June 2011, A New Novel, Part 240 I am Guilty

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is a captive in the residence of the Cardinal of Wien awaiting an ecclesiastical trial for sorcery.  The Inquisitor Esposito came to speak to her about her defense...

“You called this demon into the house of the Cardinal?”

“I did not call him here.  I can’t be rid of him.  He comes and goes as he wills, but I am guilty for bringing him back to the world where he can tempt and harm others.”

“You also tried to kill yourself.  That is a very grievous crime as well.”

“I did not try to kill myself.”  Aksinya’s voice was low, “I tried to protect myself from the demon.”

“Yes.  This will be very difficult to defend Fraulein.”  The Inquisitor placed his papers and pen back into his briefcase.

“I have no intention of defending myself at the trial.”

“Yes.  I see.  I am still called to defend you.”

“I will not hold it against you because you will fail.  I am guilty.”

“I see.”  The inquisitor stood.  He started for the door.  He stopped and called over his shoulder, “We expect the trial to begin tomorrow.  Do you have anyone who might speak in your favor?”

“My priest, Father Dobrushin, Father Makar, the Matushka Ekaterina.  They might speak in my favor.”

“They are Orthodox.  They will not be allowed to testify.”

“Then there is no one who will speak for me.  But it doesn’t matter because I am guilty.”

      The Priest went to the door.  Frau Becker pursued him through the opening.

Inquisitor Esposito is not a very excitable man.  He isn't really interested in defending Aksinya.  He seems more interested in declaring her guilt.

The demon, Asmodeus, is a side story in the mind of the inquisitor.  We might also ask if he really believes Aksinya at all.  He has never seen a sorceress before.  The inquisitor shows more excitement at the idea that Aksinya attempted suicide.  He doesn't even work with her on a defense, but that is good, Aksinya doesn't intend to defend herself.  The inquisitor simply states the charges, then puts away his notes and leaves.  He acts as though Aksinya were not able to be defended or that she is not worth defending.

Listen to how Aksinya lets this terrible priest out of his guilt.  She tells him that she will not hold it against him when he fails.  She is too kind, but she also thinks she is guilty.

When the inquisitor asks if anyone will speak in Aksinya's favor, we see a glimmer of hope, but the inquisitor shoots that down: “They are Orthodox.  They will not be allowed to testify.”  Of course they will not be allowed to testify.  No one will be allowed to testify who might aid in Aksinya's defense.

Aksinya is not to be defended.  She is not to be found not guilty.  This is the work of the demon--Aksinya is to be found guilty and also... I will not say.  We will have to see.  Tomorrow, Frau Becker speaks to the inquisitor.

A New Novel, Part 235 Does It Have Crosses?

27 May 2011, A New Novel, Part 235 Does It Have Crosses?


For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is in the residence of the Cardinal of Wien awaiting an ecclesiastical trial for sorcery.  To prevent Asmodeus from tormenting her, she drew crosses on her clothing and blankets with her own blood.  Once she started the flow of blood, she couldn't stop it.  Frau Becker saved her again...

Aksinya awoke in a bed.  It was warm and comfortable, but she felt light headed.  Someone held her hand.  She turned her head and expected to see the Lady Natalya or at least Sister Margarethe.  She tried to focus on the face near hers.

A weary voice spoke before Aksinya could identify the person, “Why did you try to kill yourself?”

Aksinya still couldn’t focus, “I didn’t try to kill myself.”

“But your wrist…”

“I had to put crosses on my things so he couldn’t take them again.”

“So who couldn’t take them again?”

“The demon…”

Frau Mauer’s voice came from the side, “You see, Frau Becker, I told you that’s what she said.  She begged my thread and a needle to make crosses on her dress and the blankets.”

Frau Becker’s voice hardened, “And you wouldn’t lend them to her?”

Aksinya still could not focus her eyes well, “Frau Becker was the kind woman who gave me the blankets.  I marked them well.”

“You almost bled to death.”

“Still, now the demon can’t take them from me.”  Aksinya moved her free hand around under the covers.  Frau Becker stroked her other hand.  It felt numb and heavy.  Aksinya gave a worried cry, “My dress and my blankets.”

Frau Becker’s voice was soothing beside her, “I dressed you in a nightgown.”

“Does it have crosses?”

“Yes,” Frau Becker lied.

“My blankets…?”

“Are you warm enough now?”

“Yes, thank you.”

There was a slight choke in Frau Becker’s voice, “Before you return to the cell, you will have your blankets.”

“The ones with the crosses.”

“Yes, the ones with the crosses.”

“Thank you.  I feel very sleepy.  As long as there are crosses, I will be safe.”

“Yes, you will be safe.  I’ll sit right here with you.”

“Thank you, Frau Becker.  I am gratefu…” Aksinya’s eyes closed.

“Frau Mauer,” Frau Becker hissed softy, “Sew crosses on her nightgown.”

“But.”

“No buts, do it.  Do it now and don’t wake her.”

“But she’s crazy…”

“I don’t care how crazy she is.  She is in the Archbishop’s charge.  Sew the crosses on her nightgown.”

     “Yes, ma’am.”  Frau Mauer gently pulled the edge of the nightgown from under the covers and carefully embroidered four crosses evenly spaced around the hem.  Then she sewed them on the sleeves.  By the time she was done, Aksinya was stirring and Frau Becker sent Frau Mauer down to the kitchen for food and tea.

I'll give you the revelation that I hope you already saw.  If you didn't see it yourself, once I mention it to you, you will know its truth.  I asked yesterday what could help Aksinya.  She declared her true allegiance and the demon punished her.  She is in dire straights: held for ecclesiastical trial, in a cold prison, her friends have appeared to desert her (do you remember what she said to Natalya: "everyone will betray or desert me."), she is trying to do the best she can by herself.  There are no miracles here for Aksinya--or are there.  In real life there are few miracles, but we see a small one before us. 

Frau Becker has been a miracle for Aksinya.  She rescued Aksinya twice.  She did this even though she believes Aksinya to be insane.  This is the revelation--it doesn't seem like much. It isn't a miracle at all, but it is real for Aksinya.  It makes a difference for Aksinya.

In this scene, we see the initial scene setting.  At first, I don't want you to know any more than Aksinya.  You experience her waking in a bed.  You wonder with her exactly where she is.  She is light headed from blood loss.  I don't need to tell you the reason, just the results.  She imagines that she is back under the care of her friends, Natalya and Margarethe.  We know that can't be.  The first question is the one we dreaded: “Why did you try to kill yourself?” In the Catholic Church at the time, this was an important question.  Aksinya is ambivalent.  Aksinya is self destructive, but she has never thought about killing herself.  She answers directly--she can't do otherwise. 

That's when the full ramifications of Aksinya's apparent insanity strikes Frau Becker.  Listen to Frau Becker's response.  She isn't mad at Aksinya, whom she imagines to be insane.  She is mad at Frau Mauer because the Frau wouldn't loan a needle and thread to a poor, insane, girl who was imprisoned for sorcery. 

Don't you love Frau Becker?  She is the kind of absolute pragmatist that puts real action to what she knows is right.  She doesn't care about the accusations against Aksinya, she cares about Aksinya.  This is the kind of reaction that is a firm contrast between the truth (we understand in the world of the novel) and the truth of the real world (represented by Frau Becker).  Frau Becker's response to Aksinya is very different than Faru Mauer or the inquisitors.  It is more akin to Father Dobrushin or Ekaterina.  Yet, where Father Dobrushin and Ekaterina seem to believe Aksinya to a degree, Frau Becker does not.  It is enough for Frau Becker to simply help someone she believes is helpless.  I set up this character to show this for just this reason.  Just as I gave you Father Makar to show you one who doesn't believe Aksinya, but who's compassion is stifled because he can't be compassionate for Aksinya, I wanted you to see someone who could have simple compassion for a person, not because of who they were, but because of their need.

Frau Becker doesn't care if Aksinya is insane--she berates Frau Mauer because she wouldn't help.  This is a result of Frau Becker's pragmatism.  That's the point of the entire conversation.  This is the point all the way to the white lie Frau Becker tells to the insane girl to comfort her.  I hope you like this lie because it does no harm, and immediately, Frau Becker acts to repair it.  She orders Frau Mauer to sew crosses on the nightgown.  Such a simple action that has such important meaning for a single pathetic girl.  This is the true meaning of compassion, and do you see the extent of the revelation?  Although Aksinya faced the torment of the demon.  Although he own actions led to more problems.  Still, she was saved, and she was provided a savior, a help if you like.  Frau Becker was the one who helped.  Tomorrow we shall see that she is even more help although she can't stop the freight train that is approaching. 

A New Novel, Part 231 Something Worse Will Happen

23 May 2011, A New Novel, Part 231 Something Worse Will Happen


For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is locked in a cold dark cell under the residence of the Cardinal of Wien.  Frau Becker is helping Aksinya to recover from exposure.  She learns that Aksinya is to be tried for sorcery...

Very quickly Otto returned with a tray that contained wheat mush, cheese, bread, and tea.  Frau Becker placed it on the bench.  Aksinya’s eyes were closed.  Frau Becker tried to hand Aksinya a spoon to eat the wheat mush.  Aksinya couldn’t hold it, so the frau fed her and held the tea for her.  After a while, Aksinya was able to hold the spoon on her own.  She had to grasp it in her fist, but she could get it to her mouth.  She ate everything on the tray.

Frau Becker collected everything and returned it to the tray.  Aksinya had already pulled out her rosary.  She began to pray the decades.  Frau Becker stared at her.  Aksinya glanced up in embarrassment, “I did not pray before I ate.  I couldn’t finish my prayers last night.  Thank you very much for taking care of me.”

Frau Becker stepped out of the cell.  She was the last one to leave.  Secretary Schwab locked the door and pocketed the key.

Before Frau Becker departed, she gave the secretary a stern look, “Anyone who would try this girl is insane.  Keep her warm and feed her or this will happen again.  Keep the men away from her, or something worse will happen.” 

Otto returns with food for Aksinya.  Eats with Frau Becker's help then she begins to pray her rosary.  Do you see how out of character this is for a sorceress.  Still, at the end, they lock Aksinya back in her cell.  We see that Aksinya has won a friend.  She didn't try to, but her new persona, and her natural strength make Frau Becker feel pity for Aksinya.  The Frau gives a final warning.  This is the kicker for the end of chapter 17.  Tomorrow, the beginning of chapter 18 and scene setting.

A New Novel, Part 230 I am Perhaps not Sane

22 May 2011, A New Novel, Part 230 I am Perhaps not Sane

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is locked in a cold dark cell under the residence of the Cardinal of Wien.  Asmodeus visited Aksinya in the depths of the night and took her dress.  In the morning, the woman guard finds Aksinya unresponsive... 

Otto returned with four hot water bottles and two blankets.  The woman wrapped the blankets around Aksinya and put the hot water bottles in the layers.  She put the warmers under the blankets but where they wouldn’t touch and burn Aksinya’s skin.  She and Frau Mauer rubbed Aksinya’s chilled hands and feet.

Aksinya gave a moan and tried to sit up.  The woman’s voice was very kind, “Don’t get up.  Don’t move for a little.”

Aksinya whimpered, “It hurts.”

“Aye, it does hurt.”

Aksinya squeezed her eyes shut then opened them wide, “Who are you?” 

The woman smiled, “I’m Frau Becker.”

Aksinya moaned again and began to shiver, “It really hurts.”

“Why did you take off your dress?”

Aksinya groaned, “I didn’t take it off.”

“Were you molested?”

Aksinya didn’t reply.

Frau Becker turned toward Secretary Schwab, “You need to question the guards.  The girl was attacked in the Archbishop’s own home.”

Aksinya gritted her teeth, “They didn’t molest me.”

“…But your dress.”

Aksinya let out her breath, “You would not believe me anyway.  I am here to be tried.  No one molested me.”

“Tried, surely you aren’t the one.”

“I am the one.”

Frau Becker stared at Secretary Schwab, “This isn’t a joke is it, Schwab?  I’ve heard the rumors.  This girl is to be tried as a sorceress?”

Secretary Schwab shrugged.

Aksinya was shivering a little less, “I am a sorceress.  That is why they locked me up.”

Frau Becker’s gentle hands didn’t stop rubbing Aksinya’s.  She mumbled, “Then you are not fully sane.  They put a poor crazy girl in a cell and are going to try her for sorcery.  Does the Archbishop think this is the Fifteenth Century?”

Aksinya tried to smile, “I am perhaps not sane, but I am a sorceress.”

Frau Becker gave Aksinya a very sad look then she turned to the secretary’s servant, “Get some food and hot tea.  Bring sugar and milk.”

Frau Becker is doing her best to help Aksinya.  Aksinya finally wakes.  Frau Becker and Frau Mauer are rubbing Aksinya's hands and feet to help the circulation return.  Frau Becker is very kind.  Aksinya is in pain.

Frau Becker wants to know why Aksinya took off her dress.  What she really wants to know is whether Aksinya was molested.  Aksinya knows she can't tell the truth--no one would believe her.  So she says nothing.  That's when Frau Becker learns that Aksinya is "the one." 

Everyone has heard rumors in the Cardinal's house, but Frau Becker didn't expect to come face to face with the prisoner.  Then we see Frau Becker's conclusion--this is everyone's conclusion: Aksinya isn't sane.  How will Aksinya fair in a trial?  How will she get through the next night?  Tomorrow, at least she gets breakfast.

A New Novel, Part 216 They Told You to Watch for Me?

8 May 2011, A New Novel, Part 216 They Told You to Watch for Me?

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya is in the street before her house speaking with a man who is removing all her families goods from her house.  The bills haven't been paid and her creditors have required recompense...

The man did smile at that, “You? Who are you?”


Aksinya lowered her head. Her voice was very low, “I am the Countess Golitsyna.”

The man’s laughter filled the street, “I find that hard to believe, but we were told to watch for a young woman who came to the house and claimed to be a countess.”

She raised her head, “They told you to watch for me?”

The man shut his mouth. He shrugged and shoved the paper back into his coat. After a moment, he announced a little too loudly, “When she is found, the alleged Countess will be in debtor’s prison for a long time. It serves her right for trying to fool everyone.”

“I…I didn’t.” The sound of heavy hooves and wooden wheels come from behind Aksinya. She turned around. A large carriage moved up the street behind her. It stopped quickly and a couple of men in priestly robes stepped from it into the street. Their eyes swept over Aksinya and the large man behind her. They ignored her and stepped toward the entrance of the school. The doors had not been opened yet that morning. The taller priest struck the door with his staff. Aksinya stood frozen in place. She was suddenly very cold. She had no coat and had not eaten anything since last evening. The day was above freezing, but not much.

The priests stood at the doors to Sacré Coeur. The taller priest paced in front of the large doors. The shorter tapped his staff impatiently against the ground. There was a long moment until the door opened. Before Aksinya could note what went on at the doorway, she heard another coach approach from the other side of the dray. She wondered with apprehension how all this would end up. The dray blocked the street so either of the carriages would have problems if they tried to maneuver around it. The coaches might be too large to pass each other comfortably too.

Aksinya thought she had problems before--now she has real problems.  Do you remember, Father Dobrushin told her not to leave the Ecclesia, but Aksinya felt that she had too.  She believes she must face the just punishment for her wrongdoing.
 
Helmut tells Aksinya he and Willi were told to watch for her.  One guess where Willi went.  Helmut goes on to tell Aksinya that she will be going to debtor's prison for a long time. Before Willi returns, a carriage comes up the street behind Aksinya.
 
Two priests get out of the carriage.  Aksinya appears like a cleaning woman to them, they ignore her at first.  I remind you that she hasn't eaten, and she is cold. 
 
The priests received some kind of summons or message--they are looking for something at the school.  What do you think it is.  While the priests are trying to get into the school, another carriage comes down the street on the other side of the dray.  Now, who could that be?  The moment Aksinya gets out of the safety of the Ecclesia and her friends there, she falls under immediate problems.  Tomorrow, more difficulties.

A New Novel, Part 215 The Bills Must all Be Paid

7 May 2011, A New Novel, Part 215 The Bills Must all Be Paid

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya ran away from the Ecclesia. Two men are taking the furniture out of her house.  She is speaking to them.  One of them has gone to check on the horses...

Helmut’s lips rose over his teeth again. It wasn’t a smile.


Aksinya reached for the paper.

Helmut pulled it back. His frown deepened, “Please don’t touch it. It is an official document.”

Aksinya moved a little closer to the paper. Under her breath, she read the document, “There is a list of litigants and claimants.” Her voice filled with dismay, “The list is very long. It says, that because the alleged Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna is in arrears for…,” she gasped.

“Is there something wrong?”

“The amount is so large.”

The man made a loud huff under his breath, “That is why the directive tells us to take everything from the house. It still won’t be enough to pay for it all.”

Aksinya wailed, “You will take everything I own, and it still won’t be enough.”

Helmut’s nose twitched, “It won’t be enough at all.”

“What about my jewelry?”

“We haven’t seen any jewelry. Perhaps the previous repossessors removed it.”

Aksinya’s eyes widened, “But my father’s money.”

The man’s face twitched again, “I heard it was all Russian. It isn’t worth the paper it is printed on any more.”

“But I have nothing else.”

“I understand there were loans too. They must all be paid.”

“What will I do?”

The man did smile at that, “You? Who are you?”

Aksinya is speaking with Helmut one of the men moving the furniture from her house.  Helmut shows Aksinya a directive that gives him authority to remove the furniture.  Aksinya reads the paper and discovers that it claims she owes a very large amount.  Helmut tells her all the furniture in the house won't be enough to pay the bills.  Aksinya's cry: “You will take everything I own, and it still won’t be enough.”  For a person who was driven by luxuria, this is an exquisite torture.  Aksinya will have nothing left at all.  Aksinya asks about her jewelry, and her father's money--it is all gone.  Aksinya has nothing left and yet, the man tells her there will be more to pay. 

At the end, the man asks who she is.  He guesses, but do you remember what Aksinya appears like?  She looks like a cleaning woman.  Tomorrow, who are you?

A New Novel, Part 212 Leaving the Ecclesia

4 May 2011, A New Novel, Part 212 Leaving the Ecclesia

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya heard and understood well that she must face punishment for her actions.  Repentance isn't enough; she must pay restitution for her evil, she must atone for her sin.  Only then can things be made right--perhaps, but how can you pay restitution for murder or sorcery…?

Aksinya woke very early the next morning. She stood in the darkness and folded her blanket. She straightened her dress. She hadn’t bathed much since she came here. She was certain she smelled, but that couldn’t be helped. She tried to smooth her hair. That was impossible. Ekaterina usually brushed it in the morning for her. It was not long enough to braid properly, but it wasn’t short enough to not be a problem. It just touched her shoulders. She had no mirror and was glad of it. She couldn’t stand to look at herself. It was too dark anyway. She brought out her rosary and quickly said the first decade and the last prayer. She would complete them later. She crossed herself then lovingly drew her hand over the leather cover of the Greek Bible. She wanted to take it with her, but she knew she couldn’t. It wasn’t really hers. She had memorized most of the Gospels and Acts. She wanted to begin to memorize Paul’s letters next.


Aksinya turned abruptly and stepped to the door of her room. Although nothing changed, the room seemed to darken. She felt for the handle and pulled the door open. Her hand stretched out to the wall at her right. With her right hand trailing against the wood, she followed the hall to the back of the rectory. The outside door only halted her for a moment—it was bolted but not locked. She went out through it to the small backyard where she and Ekaterina hung the wash every Wednesday. In the predawn night, the low clouds reflected enough light for her to see. Aksinya’s eyes were so accustomed to the dark, it seemed almost bright to her. The thin gate that led outside the yard had a simple wooden latch. She opened it and in the predawn, exited into the street outside the rectory.

Okay, watch how I set the scene for you.  The following is entirely in narrative, but using showing and with very little telling.  The very small areas where I tell you information adds to the scene development--I'll point it out.  

First the when: she woke very early the next morning.  You know she is in her room in the Ecclesia.  I use some showing to give you a mental image of the place and her actions--she folds the blanket.  The telling is interspersed in the text.  I could have had her smell herself, but you can't really smell yourself.  I handled this by telling you, then I show you that Aksinya tries to smooth her hair.  Then lots of information about the hair.  I can't let you forget about the hair.  All this scene setting puts you into the story.  Watch how Aksinya touches the Greek Bible.  Notice, I brought every sense into this description and this scene.  I want to activate every sense of the readers.  Look at the information I give you that completes the previous scenes.  We knew Aksinya was memorizing the Bible, just as she memorized the books of sorcery.  In this narrative, I show you that she has memorized the Gospels and she wants to memorize the rest.  She says her prayers but doesn't complete them because she is in a hurry.

Now do you realize what her decision was.  She steps to the door, and I give you a premonition--the room seemed to darken.  I show you the darkness of the place.  I give you pieces of her life with Ekaterina.  Aksinya makes her way out of the rectory and the Ecclesia.  Tomorrow, Aksinya is on a mission.

A New Novel, Part 211 She Must Face Punishment

3 May 2011, A New Novel, Part 211 She Must Face Punishment

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

The priests and Ekaterina are discussing Aksinya and Natalya in the kitchen of the rectory. They have no idea that Aksinya is listening in the darkness by the door…

Ekaterina’s voice was soft, “Hush Makaruska, have you thought, that perhaps we are the only ones who might care for her. She is not like most people. She is a little strange, but she has no place else to go and no one else to turn to.”


“I don’t like having her here. I have a bad feeling about everything connected to her. Her preoccupation with the idea of a demon or with sorcery is just laughable. I think she should be under lock and key in an insane asylum, but Father Dobrushin won’t let me report her.”

Ekaterina’s voice was hard, “I would stop you too.”

“She claimed to kill her lady-in-waiting. Doesn’t that mean something to you? What if she tries to kill someone else?”

“We have yet to determine if what she said was true. We can’t find any evidence that the Lady Natalya was hurt much less killed.”

“If what the Countess said is true, she is a murderer. If what she said is not true, she is insane, but you two still want to keep her in an Ecclesia. If she really is a sorceress and called a demon, she is the most dangerous person to have within these walls.”

Ekaterina’s voice rose, “But she confessed. She has been a great help to me.”

“She confessed to murder. She may be forgiven by God, but she has yet to face the true punishment for her crimes.”

Father Dobrushin opened his hands, “Everything you say Makar is true. I just know there is more to her and this whole thing than we know. She is forgiven, but we will not allow her to escape the just punishment for her crimes. Even she should understand this.”

“She doesn’t know this Dobrushin—she is insane.”

“I hear you, brother. Let’s sleep on it. She hasn’t caused us harm. We can keep her here a little longer. Check with the police again tomorrow.”

Father Makar mumbled.

“I, for one, need to get to bed.”

Ekaterina was dismayed, “What about me. You had me send my helper away, and now I have the entire kitchen to clean. Father Makar and Father Dobrushin stood. Both their voices came at almost the same time, “I’ll help.”

Aksinya crept down the short corridor to her room. She didn’t relight the taper. She didn’t read her book. She lay on her cot under the woolen blanket and thought about everything she heard. Finally, she made up her mind and fell into a fitful sleep.

Now it comes.  I give you the last paragraph from yesterday.  Aksinya has no one else to turn to.  We will shortly find out...well, we shall find out.

Then Father Makar begins his argument.  He speaks his mind because he doesn't know Aksinya is listening.  He thinks she is insane--indeed, in the minds of any reasonable person, Aksinya is insane.  Father Dobrushin doesn't have any power in the Ecclesia, but Father Makar is compassionate--he has not turned Aksinya in to the authorities because Dobrushin has asked him not to.  Ekaterina has her say as well.

Father Makar continues his argument.  Aksinya claimed to have murdered--what if she tries to kill again?  His argument is well made: if what Aksinya said was true, she is a murderer; if what she said was not true, she is insane.  If Aksinya is really a sorceress and called a demon, she is very dangerous.  Ekaterina's response is weak--we can hear how weak (I don't need to elaborate).  Then, the clincher from Father Makar--Aksinya may be forgiven by God, but she still has to face the punishment for her crimes.  This is absolute truth.  Forgiveness doesn't equal pardon--each person must face the judicial punishment for their actions.  Father Dobrushin agrees--this is truth.

Father Makar then makes his ultimate point--Aksinya is insane, she can't know that she must also face punishment.  Do you see the other side of this?  If Aksinya is sane, she would seek the just punishment for her sin.  This is Socrates' answer too.  A man who is sane and realizes his transgression of the law, will seek the just punishment for breaking the law.  This was how Socrates justified dying himself.

Father Dobrushin suggests they take their time and wait and see what happens.  Remember also, he told Aksinya to stay in the Ecclesia to protect her.  Then I give you a little levity.  Ekaterina sent away her helper and the kitchen still needs to be cleaned.

The end is a kicker.  Aksinya heard everything.  She thinks about what was said.  You can guess her thoughts.  She can prove her sanity by seeking just punishment.  She is a danger to the Ecclesia.  She doesn't wish to be a burden.  She is not wanted and even Father Dobrushin agreed with Father Makar.  What other decision could she make?  This is the end of chapter 16.  Tomorrow, scene and chapter setting for chapter 17.

A New Novel, Part 210 Even They Aren’t Looking

2 May 2011, A New Novel, Part 210 Even They Aren’t Looking

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

The priests and Ekaterina are discussing Aksinya and Natalya in the kitchen of the rectory.  They have no idea that Aksinya is listening in the darkness by the door…

Father Dobrushin continued, “Whether she is insane or not, is not the main question to my mind. What I want to know is does the Cardinal seek her, and what happened to the Lady Natalya?”


Father Makar hunched over the table, “The Lady Natalya is certainly not dead.”

Father Dobrushin and Matushka Ekaterina stared at him.

Father Makar shrugged, “I went to every funeral in this city since the Countess came to us. I saw the dead. The Lady Natalya was not among them. Unless the Catholics are hiding something more sinister than a lady-in-waiting, I am certain, she isn’t dead.”

“Then where is she?”

Father Makar shrugged again, “If I knew, I would tell you. I honestly don’t know. I’ve checked with anyone who was close to the two of them.”

Ekaterina asked, “What about Ernst von Taaffe?”

“To tell you the truth, I have not been able to approach him. He is in seclusion. From what the Countess told us, I’m sure he would have nothing to do with the Lady Natalya. I was shocked myself when I heard what happened. The poor boy was embarrassed and certainly stripped of his honor.”

“You checked at her house.”

“I check every day. No one answers. No one is there.”

“But no one is looking for her?”

“Not as far as I can tell.”

Father Dobrushin clasped his hands on the top of the table, “I just can’t believe it. Surely her aunt and uncle…”

Father Makar shook his head, “Even they aren’t looking.”

Ekaterina scowled, “Do you think they were so shocked by what happened?”

“No idea.”

Father Dobrushin pressed his hands more tightly together, “I’m not gong to let her out of the Ecclesia yet. For now, I think it is too dangerous.”

Father Makar cocked his head, “If they aren’t looking, then there is no danger for us. Maybe no one wants a crazy woman like her.”

Ekaterina’s voice was soft, “Hush Makaruska, have you thought, that perhaps we are the only ones who might care for her. She is not like most people. She is a little strange, but she has no place else to go and no one else to turn to.”

I start with a repeat of the statement from yesterday by Father Dobrushin.  His questions are also our questions.  Then we get a shocking revelation from Father Makar: “The Lady Natalya is certainly not dead.” This is new news to Father Dobrushin and Ekaterina.  We discover that Father Makar, although he doesn't trust or like Aksinya, he is still thorough.  He is seeking Natalya.  Did the thought come to you that the church in Wien might be hiding something?  Don't worry, they are, kind of, but nothing as sinister as the death of Natalya. 

Father Makar goes on to tell us that he has checked with everyone close to Aksinya and Natalya.  Then Ekaterina asks about Ernst.  Now, you begin to see the destruction Aksinya through the demon caused.  Ernst is in seclusion.  He is stripped of honor.

Then we find again, no one is at Aksinya's house.  This is a portent.  No one is looking for Aksinya.  Isn't that odd?  Then Father Dobrushin brings up Aksinya's aunt and uncle.  Of course they aren't looking for Aksinya.  Do you remember from the very beginning, Asmodeus threatened Aksinya that he would strip the Bockmanns of their honor and position.  The Bockmanns would rather that Aksinya never come back.  They want to forget and ignore the girl who caused them such an uproar.  I don't get into everything yet, you will see it all in its glory soon enough, but you might be able to guess just what is going on under the surface.  

Then, I give you the big one.  I've had Father Dobrushin mention this twice before: “I’m not gong to let her out of the Ecclesia yet. For now, I think it is too dangerous.”  Is is too dangerous, and dangerous for whom?  Okay, if I've given it out 3 times now, you know this is important.  Father Makar answers harshly, that no one may be looking for Aksinya.  Aksinya, we know, has no one to turn to.  She has no place to go--you didn't hear me say that, ha.

Tomorrow, more of the conversation Aksinya isn't supposed to hear.

A New Novel, Part 209 She is Certainly Insane

1 May 2011, A New Novel, Part 209 She is Certainly Insane

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

What follows is the full transition I promised you.  I first set a day for Aksinya.  Then I gave you a number of days (all similar).  Now, I place the whole before you and this allows us to move to the next scene…

A couple of weeks passed as though they were days. The season of the church was now lent. They all fasted, although Aksinya wasn’t certain they could actually fast more than they did. The food in the rectory of the Ecclesia was filling, but it was nothing like what Aksinya had been used to. At lent, there was less meat, but she ate plenty of potatoes and almost all the tea she wished.


Father Makar came home in a strange mood Saturday evening only two weeks from Easter. Although Aksinya didn’t notice, he wouldn’t look at her at all. His eyes kept shifting toward her all through supper. When Aksinya was finished eating, Ekaterina pushed her toward the door to her room. She placed a taper in Aksinya’s hands, “Here, you might want to read tonight. I’ll take care of the kitchen.”

Aksinya was so happy to get back to her Bible, she didn’t think much, but took the taper in her hand. She stammered, “Th…thank you, Matushka.”

Aksinya headed down the corridor to her room until she heard the Lady Natalya’s name mentioned. Aksinya had asked, like clockwork, but Father Makar hadn’t been able to tell her anything. Aksinya quietly moved back down the hall and snuffed her taper. The door to the kitchen was open. The three sat at that table. Ekaterina wasn’t working on the dishes at all.

Father Makar was speaking, “The abbot won’t reveal anything about the Lady Natalya to me.”

“Does he know the Countess is here?”

“They have no idea.”

“They are looking for her?”

“That isn’t clear either. The Reverend Mother doesn’t know anything.”

Father Dobrushin breathed out, “It’s been almost three weeks. You’d think we would hear something, anything.”

“They may have concluded she is insane too.”

“I’ve watched her all this time. She is odd, but she is certainly not insane.”

Ekaterina added, “I agree. The Countess is anything but insane.”

“She believes she contracted with a demon. She is certainly insane.”

Father Dobrushin continued, “Whether she is insane or not, is not the main question to my mind. What I want to know is does the Cardinal seek her, and what happened to the Lady Natalya?”

The beginning is the transition.  I use two methods to mark the when.  The "when" is critical when moving time like this.  The markers I use are first, two weeks, then the season is now lent.  The use of church seasons is one of my favorite tie markers in these types of period novels.  The time fits and it also gives other markers that provide information and period feel.  Note, that they all fast, but Aksinya isn't certain how they could fast any more than they do.  Here, I let you into the mind of the main character for just a moment.  This is another way to contrast Aksinya's past luxuria with her new found poverty.  She gets as much tea as she wishes, but it isn't the tea she likes best.

Now, another time marker and the actual scene.  The day is Saturday and the evening.  The time is two weeks from Easter.  Father Makar will not look at Aksinya.  He obviously knows something, but Aksinya is preoccupied with other thoughts and doesn't notice.  Ekaterina notices.  She gets rid of Aksinya as soon as supper is over.  She places a taper in Aksinya's hands--this will tempt Aksinya to go read, ha ha.  This is a temptation to Aksinya, but one that is reasonable.

They tried to get rid of Aksinya so they could speak about her, but Aksinya heard Natalya's name spoken, and she decides to listen.  Now we discover Father Makar's connections in the city.  We also discover that Father Makar has been seeking information about Natalya.  He has also been keeping Aksinya secret.  About Aksinya, Father Makar's opinion is direct--he still thinks she is insane.  Father Dobrushin and Ekaterina come to Aksinya's defense.  The ultimate problem with Aksinya is exactly what Father Makar thinks is what the rest of the world with think.

Father Dobrushin caps this piece with his question: “Whether she is insane or not, is not the main question to my mind. What I want to know is does the Cardinal seek her, and what happened to the Lady Natalya?” You should realize that all this is a set up.  I have given you all kinds of foreshadowing and hints.  These bind the scenes together and provide the background for what will happen next.  Tomorrow, more of this important conversation (don't forget, Aksinya is listening).

A New Novel, Part 208 She Should Remain in the Ecclesia

30 Apr 2011, A New Novel, Part 208 She Should Remain in the Ecclesia

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

I promised you a transition--that is indeed what I have been setting you up for.  It follows as well as a very important scene that includes some strong foreshadowing…

This is how Aksinya’s days progressed with only the variation of the domestic work of the rectory and Ecclesia. Every evening, Aksinya asked about Natalya, but she received no information. Father Makar explained every time she asked that he still sought the Lady Natalya, but that no one knew what had happened to her.


On Saturday following the morning prayers, Ekaterina prepared to take Aksinya with her to the market, but Father Dobrushin blocked the door when Aksinya tried to leave the rectory.

Ekaterina pursed her lips, “What’s wrong Father Dobrushin. The Countess can help me with carrying everything. She will be very helpful.”

Aksinya stood silent.

Father Dobrushin answered carefully, “I don’t think she should appear in the marketplace. Right now, until we determine what is going on, she should remain in the Ecclesia.”

Ekaterina glared at him, “I would like her to accompany me, and I’m certain she would like to go out.”

Father Dobrushin sighed, “I will get a Greek Bible for the Countess to study today. That will make up for missing the market.”

Aksinya didn’t raise her head, “I would like to study.”

Ekaterina made a face, but she turned, “Very well. I’ll be back before midday communion. Father Dobrushin, look after my charge.”

Father Dobrushin’s face was very serious, “I shall.” After Ekaterina was out of the sight, Father Dobrushin gestured toward Aksinya. She wasn’t watching. He cleared his throat, “Countess.”

She glanced up, “Yes.”

“Come with me. I’ll give you an old Bible to study. It is a little worn, but you should be able to read it without any problem.” Father Dobrushin led Aksinya to the side of the ark, “Wait here. I’ll get the Bible.” He went between the rails and to the back of the ark. After a few moments, he returned with a large book in his hands. He handed it to Aksinya, “You may read this all you like.”

“May I take it to my room?”

“Yes. If you have nothing else you need to do, you should study it now.”

Aksinya clasped the large book to her chest. The place still stung between her breasts where the crucifix had burned her. She took the Bible back to her room and began to read it. She was so intrigued with what she read, Ekaterina had to retrieve her for the midday communion. Following communion, Aksinya continued to read until Ekaterina called her to come help with supper. Aksinya dragged herself away from the book and went to help.

After dinner, Aksinya begged a taper from Ekaterina and continued to read until the wax and floss was entirely gone. Then she prayed her rosary until she fell asleep. Her last prayer was that she might have light to spare so she could spend enough time to memorize the Greek Bible Father Dobrushin had lent her.

After that, Aksinya’s days were completely filled with her work, prayer, and memorization of the Greek Bible.

We start with the transition right away.  Remember I told you yesterday I was setting everything up for this transition.  The transition is to set you up for the time lapse that will come next.  So, what I showed yesterday was the general day Aksinya lived in the rectory and Ecclesia.  The next (transition) gives you an idea that time is passing.  Tomorrow, more time will have passed.  The purpose is to show you generally what is transpiring in a way that you know what is going on, but I don't have to show or tell you everything.  This is an advanced form of a transition: you start slow and easy and move a little quicker each time.  Eventually, the reader has a feel that time has passed, but also has the impression that they understand well what has been going on in the life of the main character.

Thus: This is how Aksinya’s days progressed with only the variation of the domestic work of the rectory and Ecclesia. Days have passed and each was similar to the last that I showed you.  Also, Aksinya asks about Natalya every day.  It would be redundant for me to show you this every day for weeks, so I give you a short synopsis in the narrative and all is good.  We still don't know what happened to Natalya--just keeping the tension going as well.

Then out of the transition, I give you another scene.  First the setting: when, Saturday; where, the rectory; who, Ekaterina, Aksinya, and Father Dobrushin, the what, Ekaterina wants to take Aksinya to the market with her.  Father Dobrushin doesn't think this is a good idea.  Aksinya is resigned to her role as servent.  This makes their address to her as Countess all the more ironic.  I don't tell you Father Dobrushin is worried or concerned, I just show you.  His statement is a parallel to what he said before--Aksinya should stay in the Ecclesia.  He gives no reasons, but you should be able to fathom his mind.  He is worried that outside the Ecclesia, she will be unprotected from...the police, the authorities,...the demon.  This is a foreshadowing.  You might ask, why all this foreshadowing all the time.  There is foreshadowing in almost every scene--yes.  There is foreshadowing in almost every scene, this is the way to drive a plot.  The foreshadowing is a means to connect the storyline in the scenes.  This along with symbols, analogy, allegory, connected characters, the connections between and among characters.  In a novel, these are the glue that binds the scenes and gives you a rich plot.  If you need more convincing, think about the crucifix Aksinya wears between her breasts and about the demon himself, or Akinsya's luxuria problem.  All these simple elements bring the scenes together and give sense to the whole.

Father Dobrushin then tempts Aksinya.  His temptation is not the same as the demons--it is not a temptation to sin or to evil.  He offers her a Greek Bible to study.  He knows her well enough to understand that this will beguile and intregue her.  Indeed, Aksinya is interested.  You also know from her response that she would have liked to have gone to the market, but she would also like to study the book.  Ekaterina isn't so happy.  She wanted a friendly companion and help.  Ekaterina isn't as interested in study.  She warns Father Dobrushin to look after "her charge."  See how serriously the father takes on that responsibility--this isn't a game to either of them.

In this time, Bibles were still relatively rare and special.  This Bible is very special; since it is from the Ark (in the Ecclesia), it is one of the Bibles used for the readings in the Ecclesia.  Note how Aksinya treats this Bible like she did the books of sorcery.  She wants to read it in her room.  She clasps it to her chest even though that brings her pain.  This is all new for her.  The image of the pain is new in this novel.  Before, Aksinya had pain when she participated in evil and then was exposed to the church.  Now, she gladly accepts pain due to the church--this is very new and another tie between the scenes in the entire novel. 

Aksinya's study of the book is just like her study of the books of sorcery.  She can't put it down, but the new Aksinya tears herself away from the Bible to do her work in the rectory and Ecclesia.  This is a new Aksinya.  She is putting away luxuria.  She reads into the night until her taper is gone.  Her prayers are for light--but note, she doesn't make a light (through sorcery).  This is one of those ties that bind the scenes.  Because of what went before, you can easily see Aksinya in the role she is portrayed.  Then another very short transition.  Tomorrow, another transition.

A New Novel, Part 207 Have You Heard from the Demon?

29 Apr 2011, A New Novel, Part 207 Have You Heard from the Demon?

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

The priests form the Ecclesia have gone to conduct morning prayers.  Aksinya and Ekaterina follow them…

Aksinya followed Ekaterina into the Ecclesia. She paused at the door for a moment, but didn’t feel any pain. Instead, she felt her spirit leap when she passed through the doorway. She was surprised to see so many people in the hard seats. Most of them knelt in front of the pews with their heads bowed. Father Makar and Father Dobrushin stood behind the rail at the back and also prayed. Ekaterina led Aksinya to a rank of padded seats at the side. She gave a smile, “Being the Matushka of the Ecclesia has some privileges. She knelt on the padded kneeler in front of the seat, and Aksinya copied her.


Right at seven, Father Makar started the service. They celebrated the morning prayers without communion. Father Dobrushin helped him and lectured the readings. Father Makar gave a very short homily. At the end, they sang a hymn and Father Makar announced the blessing. The people left and Ekaterina led Aksinya back to the kitchen. The water was hot by then and Ekaterina made tea while Aksinya poured boiling water into the dish tub and mixed in some cooler water and lye soup to wash the dishes. Ekaterina put more water on to boil, “On wash day, we get all the tea we want. The water has to keep boiling all day, you see.”

Aksinya’s lips turned up at that. She didn’t glance up, “What do Father Makar and Father Dobrushin do during the day?”

“They visit the parishioners who are sick or have needs. They pray with people and take communion to those who can’t get out. They go to the train station when we hear that refugees are coming in.”

“How would they find out about the Lady Natalya?”


Ekaterina sighed, “They would check with the hospitals and the doctors we know. They would check with the police. The authorities have been very good to us here. They will check with the school…”

“Sacré Coeur?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think they would check at my house?”

“Makar told me he went there first…”

“And?”

“There was no one at home.”

Aksinya let out her breath.

Ekaterina whispered, “Have you heard from the demon?”

Aksinya shook her head.

“Thank God for that blessing,” Ekaterina crossed herself, “I don’t know what I would do if you said you had seen him in here.”

“He would not like it here.”

“That is doubly good for us.”

“Yes.”

They spent the rest of the day doing the wash. They had a break at noon when Father Makar and Father Dobrushin conducted the noon prayers with communion. The Ecclesia was filled. Aksinya and Ekaterina communed, and Aksinya was amazed that she could take the bread and wine mixture without nausea. They drank tea in the afternoon and finished the wash. When all the laundry was hung in the weak sunlight behind the rectory, they cleaned the Ecclesia.

Ekaterina remarked, “Usually, on wash day, I don’t have time to get to the Ecclesia, but today with your help, we were finished early.”

They didn’t finish cleaning the Ecclesia. Around five, Ekaterina took Aksinya back into the kitchen and Aksinya peeled potatoes and cut onions. Ekaterina put the vegetables with some thin slices of bacon in a pot and left it to cook while they went to evening prayers. The Ecclesia was almost as full as in the morning. Ekaterina and Aksinya sat in their seats to the side. She sent Aksinya back once to check the food on the stove. They all ate together after evening prayers and Aksinya went to bed. She fell asleep with the prayers of the rosary still on her lips.

I am setting you up for a time transition.  Plus I am giving you some information about the days in the Ecclesia (among other things).  Note the changes in Aksinya.  Her spirit leaps and she has no nausea, no pain.  Ekaterina has brought Aksinya into the fold of the Ecclesia.  They use the special padded kneelers and seats.  I don't tell you anything.  From what I show you, can't you feel Aksinya's joy in participation.  She gets to help, and she gets to participate in the small joys of a Matushka--tea all day on wash day.
 
Aksinya wants to know about what the priests do all day (other than lead the services in the Ecclesia).  Note the last comment about their work: they go to the train station when they hear about refugees.  These are refugees from Russia moving from one war torn country to another.
 
Aksinya drops a bomb: “How would they find out about the Lady Natalya?”  You knew this was at the back of Aksinya's mind--I couldn't let you forget.  Look closely at the answers Ekaterina gives--especially the remark about the authorities.  This is a foreshadowing.  Then Ekaterina tells Aksinya a bit of disturbing information--no one was at her house.  I leave it at that.  Aksinya lets out her breath--if you think about the ramifications, they aren't good.  Aksinya's house has been abandoned.  This is a foreshadowing.  I won't tell you all the ramifications--you should guess (soon you will know).
 
Ekaterina is more concerned about the demon.  We know the demon would not come into the Ecclesia--or any other holy place.  This is a foreshadowing.
 
Then, the rest of the day.  The purpose in giving you a full day, like this, is to provide information for a transition.  I'll give you the transition tomorrow.  Not only that, I also give you info on the Ecclesia itself.  The description of the area behind the rectory is an intentional foreshadowing.  We get to see their supper and the evening prayers.  Note, in all, Aksinya can participate in the worship.  She falls asleep with her prayers on her lips.  All is peaceful for Aksinya--perhaps too peaceful.