Scenes - Scene Setting, more Climax

6 March 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, more Climax

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. I'm giving you examples from the book so you can see different ways of introducing and writing a scene. In each snippet, you get the scene setting, the tension and release, and the input and output. This isn't true of every example, but the pieces should be there, and I've been trying to identify for you when all the pieces aren't evident. You can use these ideas to guide your own writing. Make sure you set the scene properly, then make everything come to life through the narration and conversation.

When you write a climax for a novel you must give the reader everything they hoped and waited for.  That still doesn't mean you give them everything, but you must answer their basic questions and advance the plot.  This novel is odd in that it has two climaxes.  This is the first.  The scene has already been set, and we move to the main revelation of the novel.

Aksinya raised her head, “Please close the door to the parlor, Sister Margarethe.”

Sister Margarethe nodded and slowly pulled it shut.

Aksinya stepped over to the door and made certain it was fully closed then she turned back toward Ernst, “What do you mean, sir by your statements?  I did not send you a letter, and I did not attend you the other night.”

Ernst’s face fell for a moment, but he reached into his coat and pulled out a letter.  He shook it open and handed it to Aksinya, “You sent this to me.”

Aksinya reached out and carefully took the letter without touching Ernst’s fingers.  She scanned the letter. Then read it again, carefully.

Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna

Sacré Coeur Straße

Wien, Austria

 8 January 1919

 My Dearest Ernst

 I hope I proved my love to you Wednesday night.  I couldn’t imagine a more suitable man to take into my arms and reveal my every desire and delight.  My answer to you on Monday is yes and yes and yes.  I am already yours.  You have my heart and soul and body.  Please don’t be late because my love for you only exceeds my desire. 

                                                                                      I love you with my body and soul,

                                                                                                                  Aksinya

Aksinya was suddenly breathing hard, “I did not write this letter.  After the opera, I did not spend Wednesday night with you.”

Asmodeus laughter filled the parlor.

Aksinya stared at him, “What do you have to say about this demon?”

Asmodeus’ lips rose over his fangs, “Ask your handmaiden where she was on Wednesday night.”

Aksinya’s voice rose in volume, “Natalya, what do you know about this?”

Natalya cringed.  Then she raised her eyes and met Aksinya’s angry glance, “I could not give you to this man.  He would take away your virtue and your sorcery.  So I gave him mine.”

Aksinya rushed forward and threw the letter at her, “Did you write this?”

Natalya jerked her head to the side and shook her head.

Asmodeus laughed again, “I wrote it.  I wrote it in answer to the impassioned missive from this stupid young man.”  He glared at Aksinya, “It is all true.”

Aksinya pressed her hands over her ears, “It is not true.  None of it is true.”

Asmodeus wrinkled his nose at her, “This evening, you were about to answer Herr von Taaffe that you would wed him.  You were planning to give up your virtue to him.  You would have gladly lain in his arms and moaned out your every desire.  You would have pleasured him already if you had the courage.  You would have loved him just as he foolishly loves you.  Do you think I could allow that?”

“Don’t you want me to sin?”

“I want you to do evil.  That is your purpose and my purpose, and the evil you created in your wake is truly breathtaking.  Can you not appreciate it?  I would help you bed him now, but you realize he has already been taken.”

“What do you mean?”

“Didn’t you hear your lady-in-waiting?  Ask her again.  She already told you.”

Aksinya’s hand slipped to the side of her face, “Natalya, what did you do?”

Natalya wailed, “I could not let you do this thing.  So I did it for you.”

Aksinya spat at her, “You did what for me?”

“I seduced him for you and gave him myself in your place.”

Ernst stepped beside Aksinya and grasped her arm, “What does she mean?  I slept with you, Aksinya.  I did not sleep with her.  I saw your face.  I touched your body.  I heard your voice.”

Asmodeus cackled, “The Countess herself made the Lady Natalya appear like her.  While she was in a drunken stupor, the Countess made her favorite enchantment.  She made the Lady Natalya appear exactly like her and befuddled the Sister Margarethe’s thoughts.  I sent the Lady Natalya to your bed.  You did not sleep with the Countess.”  He crossed his arms, “You had her maid.” 

Aksinya shook off Ernst’s hand.  She moved away from him—toward the demon, “You did this horrible thing?”

The demon sneered, “I didn’t do it—you did.”

Ernst pleaded, “I love you, Aksinya.  I don’t love anyone else.”

“But you slept with her,” Aksinya thrust her finger at Natalya.

Ernst put his hands over his face, “I thought it was you.  I only wanted you…”

Aksinya pushed him away, “You defiled her, and you defiled yourself.  Do you think I would have slept so easily with you?”

Asmodeus voice was droll, “She would have.”

Aksinya barked at him, “Shut up, demon.”  She whirled toward Ernst, “Get out, Herr von Taaffe.  I don’t wish to see you again.  I am not damaged goods, and I will not accept damaged goods.”

Asmodeus laughed again.

Aksinya ignored the demon.  She scowled at Ernst, “Leave my house.  You stain my honor by remaining here.”

Ernst ducked his head, “But, I didn’t know.  I still love you.  I want to marry you.”

“Do you think I could love you now?  Do you think that after you took the virtue of my servant I could ever think of marrying you?  I am not so low.  You may have had her, but you will never have me now.”

Asmodeus gave a yawn, “The Lady Natalya had no virtue remaining to give.  Others took it from her long before Herr von Taaffe.  He was just one of many.”

Natalya bowed her head a little lower.

Aksinya stared at Natalya then jerked her eyes back to Ernst.  She didn’t look in his eyes, “Herr von Taaffe, you disgrace my house.  I already told you to leave.”  She motioned violently toward him.

Ernst ducked his head and bowed, “I am sorry.  I will leave.  May I contact you later?”

Aksinya screamed at him, “Do not try to speak to me again.  I will not entertain your letters or abide your presence again.”

“Very well.  I do still love you.  I am sorry.”  He dropped to one knee.

Aksinya kicked at him and missed, “Take your apology and get out.  Now!”  She pulled back her hand and this time connected with the side of his face.

Ernst stood wide-eyed.  He took one other glance at Aksinya then backed out of the door into the foyer.  They heard the outer door open and close.  The fire rose and fell among the coals.

Asmodeus inspected his claws, “He got off easy.  If he had taken you, he would be dead.  There is still the problem of your handmaiden.”

Aksinya whirled around.  She stared at Natalya as though seeing her for the very first time.  Natalya was so beautiful.  She was so much more beautiful than Aksinya.  Aksinya wondered why she hadn’t noticed before.  No wonder Ernst or any man would choose Natalya over her.  Aksinya moved slowly toward her lady-in-waiting, “Natalya, you took him from me.  You took away the only man who ever loved me.”

Natalya crumpled in on herself, “I did it for you, mistress.”

Aksinya’s voice rose to a scream, “For me?  For me?  How could you do such an evil a thing for me?”

Asmodeus smacked his lips, “Actually, it was my idea.”

Natalya cried, “I didn’t want you to lose it.”

Aksinya’s voice rose again nearly inarticulate, “Lose what?”

“Your sorcery.”

Asmodeus smirked, “I told her that if a man took your virtue, you would lose your power to accomplish sorcery.  The Lady Natalya knows how important that is to you.”

“But that was all a lie.  I could have loved him.” Aksinya’s furious features were distraught.

Natalya raised her eyes, “But not any more.  Now, you can do what you love the most.  You can have what you love forever.  I love you, mistress.  I could not see you hurt like that.”

“Hurt?  Hurt?” Aksinya’s eyes were wild she sought anything around her that she could take into her hand.  She ran to the side of the fireplace and removed the poker from the implements there, “I will let you know how much this has hurt me.”

Aksinya struck Natalya’s side, and she fell to the floor on her face.  Natalya put her hands over her head and Aksinya struck her shoulders again and again with the poker.  Aksinya’s blows were so wild half of them hit the floor.  Curses and cries flowed from Aksinya’s lips, and bright blood suddenly appeared on Natalya’s dress.  At each blow, a breath burst from Natalya’s lips.  Dark red stains drenched Natalya’s back, but the girl didn’t make any other sound.  While Aksinya raised feral and shrill screams, blood began to streak the floor.  Sister Margarethe rushed through the door.  She grabbed Aksinya’s arms and wrestled the poker from her.  Aksinya fell back.  She cursed the nun with her remaining breath.  After that Aksinya’s mouth only opened and close without a sound.

Sister Margarethe knelt beside Natalya and hesitantly touched her.  She glanced up at Aksinya, “What have you done?  What have you done, Countess?”  Tears streaked Sister Margarethe’s face.  She cried out again, “Sister Rita.”  She screamed, “Sister Rita, Sister Tria, come help me.”  The novice sisters ran to the room and halted in the opening of the parlor.  They glanced at Aksinya and at Natalya’s silent body beside Sister Margarethe.  Their eyes widened, and they trembled.  Aksinya, still filled with rage, rushed at them, and they scattered screaming.

What could bring out Aksinya's rage?  What could make her beat Natalya?  What could make her do the singular thing she would never wish to do in her life.  The demon orchestrated it all.  He made everything come to fruition.  He put together the events that would lead to the downfall of Natalya, Ernst, and Aksinya.  His actions led to Aksinya's murderous rage.  His temptations led to all the actions of the climax.  Now, in this scene everything comes together.  Much of it could have been put together by the reader.  There were clues throughout.  The mystery of all the actions of the previous days and the reason he brought Ernst to Aksinya suddenly becomes obvious.  The result is that Aksinya does try to murder Natalya.  She beats the person who loves her most in the world.  She strikes the man who does love her.  In an instant, she loses everything she hoped to have and all her friends...but this is not the end.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.


ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, aseasonofhonor.

A New Novel, Part 246 There are Other Charges

7 June 2011, A New Novel, Part 246 There are Other Charges

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

The day of Aksinya's ecclesiastical trial has arrived.  Aksinya is acknowledged as a Russian Princess.  Now the rest of the charges will be made known...

Aksinya sat in the Bishop’s chair.  She smoothed her soiled dress, “We may now proceed.  Please continue, Archinquisitor.  I am ready to hear your accusations against me.”

The Archinquisitor hid his face for a moment.  He stood and stepped off the platform.

The inquisitor bowed toward Aksinya, “Princess Aksinya, may I approach?”

“Please do, Inquisitor.”

Inquisitor Esposito stepped beside her and whispered, “You are not wise to infuriate the Archinquisitor.  You have embarrassed him before his own court.”

Aksinya whispered back to him, “The verdict of this trail is already known.  I simply settled the first point.”

“Yes.”  He stood.

Aksinya waved, “Please proceed.”

The Archinquisitor returned to his papers, “Very well, Princess Aksinya.  We have established your rank.”  He cleared his throat, “The first accusation is therefore moot.  The court acknowledges your right as both a Russian Princess and a Russian Countess.”  He paused just a moment to take a deep breath, “The next charge is that you did commit sorcery and by this sorcery did murder your own family, steal the goods from the estate of Count Golitsyna, cheated merchants in Wien, and escaped Russian justice.”

Aksinya rested her elbow on the arm of the chair and laid her chin on the back of her hand, “I admit to sorcery.  I am guilty of that great sin.  I have confessed it and am forgiven.  I have not paid the price for all the evil I committed because of it.”  The Archinquisitor was about to speak.  Aksinya raised her hand, “I did not murder my family.  I did not steal the goods that already belonged to me.  I did not intentionally cheat the merchants in this city.  I am not certain there is Russian justice.  As a Princess, I am Russian justice.  Do you have any witnesses to any of these charges?”

“To the charge of cheating, there are witnesses, but if you acknowledge them, they are also moot.”

“I will accept that and any secular punishment.  I believe that is well beyond this court.”

“Yes, you are correct Princess.  Then let the court record read that the Princess Aksinya is guilty of theft and that shall be left to the secular courts.  There are other charges.”

Aksinya won a short lived victory, but for the moment, she is in charge and the Archinquisitor can't do anything about it.  The Inqusitor Esposito approaches her and tells Aksinya something she already realizes.  Perhaps the inquisitor is used to stupid nobility.  He states the obvious.  The reason I do this is because it is a trick of the writing so the reader doesn't miss this point.  I don't think my readers are stupid, but this makes the point that has been present through the entire set of events.  Aksinya embarrassed the Archinquisitor.  I don't tell you the results of this, but I want you to realize that it is purposeful and that Aksinya knows the trial is rigged against her.  We all realized this.  I also wanted to show that Aksinya is truly in charge.

The next set of charges are much more serious than the first: sorcery, murder, theft.  Aksinya is not worried about the outcome.  She is poised and thoughtful.  She confesses to sorcery--that is her great crime after all.  She then claims to be innocent of the other charges.  The Archinqusitor turns to the last charge of cheating the merchants of Wien.  This is not really an ecclesiastical charge.  Aksinya and the Archinquisitor agree to move that to the secular trial--I told you before, this would happen.  This is an acknowledgement of it.  From this interaction, we realise that Aksinya is well versed in law--as a Russian Princess, she is law. 

Still, there are the other charges--many of them false and ones that could only be known by the demon.  What we must realize is that Asmodeus purpose in bringing Aksinya to trial is not to condemn her or to bring about her righteous confession (she already confessed and in the court confessed--that should be enough for an inquisitor).  The trial is not about Aksinya--the trial is about all those around her.  This is how the demon will bring about her torment.  Tomorrow, proof of the charges.

A New Novel, Part 191 Do You Hate Me?

A New Novel, Part 191 Do You Hate Me?



For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya confessed to the priests and Matushka at the Ecclesia in Wien.  She wakes the next morning and is greeted by Matushka Ekaterina...

Ekaterina smiled, “You may call me Ekaterina, Countess.”

Aksinya’s lips didn’t exactly smile, but they turned up a little, “I wish you would call me Aksinya.”

“You know that isn’t possible, Countess.”

“It would please me, Ekaterina. Because of what I really am.”

“We all have our own problems… and sins… even the nobility.”

“Perhaps you don’t understand…”

“I heard it all last night.”

“Oh…then you hate me.”

Ekaterina laughed, “Not anymore than anyone else. It depends on what you mean by hate… and love. You know your Greek?”

Aksinya nodded.

“I am called to love you with the love only God can have—that is agape love. I think I can love you like that. I don’t not love you like that. There is also phileo, the kind of love between people who trust each other.” She smiled to take away the sting in her words, “I don’t know you well enough to have phileo love toward you.”

Aksinya look up from the sides of her eyes, “How might you come to love me like that?”

“By sharing together in work. By companionship and pleasant conversation. By sharing thoughts and ideas.”

“I see… I told you I murdered my lady-in-waiting. I know she loved me. I’m not certain I loved her.” Aksinya shook her head, “What is wrong with my eyes? They have been damp since I woke.”

“Let me look at them.” Ekaterina inspected Aksinya’s eyes, “What do you feel, Aksinya?”

“I feel very sad, and I feel great pain.”

“Your eyes are filled with tears.”

“I don’t remembering ever crying before.”

“But you are crying now.”

Aksinya laid her head on the table top, “Natalya cried all the time. I didn’t understand it. Do you think she was always sad? I think she loved me. Do you think she was that sad because of me?”

“I don’t know. Did you make her sad?”

“No, I think I loved her, but I killed her.” Aksinya let out a sob, “Why did I make that sound? What’s wrong with me?” Her shoulders shuddered.

Ekaterina moved next to Aksinya. She put her arms around the girl.

Aksinya is a person who does not understand normal human relationships or interaction.  She was raised in a noble family to be a countess.  She had few friends.  We will find that she was ostracised in her own household.  Aksinya chose sorcery and put away all the things of the world because of that.  Now, she is coming to understand what it means to be human.

Ekaterina asks Aksinya to call her by her name.  This is familiar, but not unacceptable or wrong for the culture.  Since Ekaterina is an older woman, she could demand Aksinya call her by her title, but she doesn't.  Aksinya already gave up her title--she just wishes to be Aksinya now.  That is not possible in this culture and especially for the Matushka.  Aksinya begs Ekaterina in the only way she knows to beg--because of what she is.

Then, do you see?  The purpose of a Matushka is to take care of the women in the Ecclesia.  Ekaterina is well equipped to aid Aksinya.  Listen to her words and response.  Perhaps few will ever have the opportunity to look after a person as broken as Aksinya, but Ekaterina knows what to do and how to respond.  She reminds Aksinya that she knows all Aksinya's confession--everything Aksinya told the priests.

Aksinya's response: “…then you hate me.”  Aksinya spent a while being rejected physically by the church--she expects to be rejected by those in the church.  Ekaterina's answer is classic.  It depends on what you mean by love and hate.  Love comes in many flavors--this is a new lesson for Aksinya.  Agape vs. phileo the love of God compared to the love of man.  Aksinya wishes to be loved, but we knew that.  She has been seeking love since the beginning of this novel.  She sought it from her family who unfortunately died and could not know the benefit she tried to purchase for them nor the cost of that benefit.  She sought comfort within herself.  She sought love through luxuria, sorcery, and lust.  It all comes down to the same thing.  Aksinya wishes to be appreciated for who and what she is; therefore, she is very interested in how she might win love like that. 

Those thoughts turn Aksinya's mind to Natalya.  She believes she murdered her lady-in-waiting.  Aksinya doesn't know what love is; she only knows that Natalya told her she loved her more than once.  Aksinya wants to know what is wrong with her eyes.  Aksinya has been crying.  We realize, with Ekaterina's words, Aksinya has been crying since she woke.  Her eyes are filled with tears.  Natalya cried all the time, was she always sad?  Was she sad because of me?  Aksinya is really thinking for the first time about someone else and about her own effect on another person.

This is the first time Aksinya showed this kind of emotion.  She couldn't cry for her family.  She couldn't mourn them.  She couldn't cry for Ernst or for Natalya--not before.  Aksinya is so unaccustomed to emotions, she doesn't realize what is happening to her.  Notice, there is very little description in this scene.  You are experiencing almost 100% of the scene through conversation.  This piece ends with Ekaterina consoling the sad Aksinya.  Tomorrow, more of this interaction.

A New Novel, Part 184 Confess Me

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.

Aksinya beat Natalya until she was bloody and motionless and ran out of her house.  She ran through the streets of Wien until she could not run any further, and she falls before a door.  The door opens...

The darkness enveloped her and she fell again. The cold ground was hard against her burning cheeks. She lay there panting for a long time. Then before her, a door creaked open. Light streamed through the opening. Aksinya raised her face from the cobbles. A voice called out in the darkness, “Who’s there? Who is it?”


Aksinya thought she recognized the voice. She couldn’t immediately place where she had heard it. She squinted into the light, but she couldn’t make out anything except a dark silhouette. Without much thought, without much more than a whisper, Aksinya cried out, “Save me. Please save me. I’ve nothing left. I’m dead to everything.”

A step came next to her ear. Someone knelt beside her. The voice came to her again, “Who is it?”

“Aksinya. It is Aksinya.”

A hand grasped her arms and lifted her up, “Are you alright, Countess?”

Aksinya didn’t answer.

Another voice came from the doorway, “Father Dobrushin, what is it?”

“I think it is the Countess Golitsyna.”

“Here? At this time of night? Do you need help?”

“No, Father Makar, she isn’t heavy.”

Aksinya felt herself lifted from the ground. Father Dobrushin held her close and carried her through the open doorway. Aksinya heard the door shut behind them.

Someone touched her face and felt her forehead. The hand was soft and gentle, it brushed the hair away from her face. A woman’s voice this time, “Is she ill? I don’t think she has a fever.”

Aksinya couldn’t speak properly. Her voice was rough and torn, “Father, father, please confess me. I must confess, for I am guilty of much evil.”

The woman’s voice chuckled, “Confess you, Countess. Let us take you back to your house.”

“I have murdered. I can’t go back there. They will be coming for me soon, and I must confess now before it is too late.”

“Murdered?”

Aksinya’s eyes flashed open. The light was too bright and she closed them again. She panted still in a hoarse whisper, “I am a murderer. I must confess.” She held out her hands.

“They are covered with blood…”

Now you know, Aksinya's steps took her straight to the Ecclesia, the Orthodox church in Wien.  If you remember, I told you, the Ecclesia was a ways straight down the street where Aksinya lived and Sacré Coeur is.  I set this up from almost the beginning.  If you remember, the Freiherr and Freifrau took Aksinya and Natalya to the Ecclesia.  You have been there with them at least 4 or 5 times.  You know they went there regularly.  I introduced the two priests and the wife of the archpriest to you.  You know they are Father Makar, Father Dobrushin, and Matushka Ekaterina.  The reason I so carefully and painstakingly brought in this place and these characters was for just this moment.  This is how you develop and set up such a situation so it is not cliched or a deus ex machina.  The trick is to place, populate, and familiarize your readers well before hand.  If Aksinya rushed out of her house and ran through the streets to the only Orthodox church in Wien, some of you might buy that, but I hope not.  On the other hand, if the enraged, grieving, and obviously guilty Aksinya rushes straight down the street to a place she has been many times before and happens to arrive at exactly the place she needs to be, that is almost expected.  It certainly isn't surprising.  It is artistry instead of accident.  That's the point, in your writing, few if anything can appear as if it is an accident.
 
So, from yesterday,m we have this delightful metaphor about darkness.  The darkness, the door, the opening of it, the light from it.  These are all metaphor and analogy.  Their import should be obvious.  Aksinya is seeking.  Someone has found her.
 
Aksinya thinks she recognizes the voice.  This is to produce excitement and tension in the reader.  As of yet, we don't know where Aksinya is, and she doesn't know either.  This is an example of not knowing anymore than the main character.  Listen to Aksinya's words.  She hasn't practiced them.  They come from the depths of her soul.  Isn't this the words you knew she would say?  Listen again:  “Save me. Please save me. I’ve nothing left. I’m dead to everything.”
 
The person who called out to her comes to Aksinya's side.  He asks her who she is, and her reply is simple.  The person immediately recognizes her.  Aksinya doesn't answer because this is completely surprising to her.  She came here, but she didn't expect to arrive here.  Then we find out where Aksinya is--where else could there be a Father Dobrushin? 
 
Then we can identify Father Makar.  Notice, nowhere do I tell you they are at the Ecclesia in Wien.  Isn't that tricky?  I make an entire setting in place without telling you where you are.  I'm happy to share this writing technique.
 
At the same time we and Aksinya are learning where we are, the priests are discovering who is at their doorstep.  Already Father Dobrushin has lifted Aksinya.  I tell you that, but Father Dobrushin's response tells you more "She's light."  Then the father lifts her in his arms.  I don't tell you how, but you know he lifted her into his arms and held her close as he carried her into the building.  All this time, I'm trying to let you sense the world through Aksinya's experience.  Her eyes are closed.  All these events are happening around her and to her.
 
Next someone very gently touches her face and forehead.  You know Ekaterina is checking for fever--just like a mother.  I don't need to tell you this, it is obvious from the context and then the dialog shows you.
 
When Aksinya knows where she is and who is with her, she croaks through her injured throat: “Father, father, please confess me. I must confess, for I am guilty of much evil.”  Is this so unexpected?  We know Aksinya wanted to confess since she came to Wien.  Do you remember the demon?  He told her not to confess.  Ekaterina makes light of it.  She can't imagine what Aksinya might wish to confess.  Isn't that like many people?  They have a great need to confess, but when they finally can, their friends try to tell them there is no need.  But we know Aksinya has a great need to confess. 
 
The unbelievable (to the priests and Ekaterina) comes out of Aksinya's lips.  We know what she has been through and what she has done.  They don't have any idea.  Aksinya reaches out, and Ekaterina sees the blood on Aksinya's hands.  This is an important metaphor--there is blood on Aksinya's hands.  It happens to literally be on her hands right now.  We continue in the Ecclesia tomorrow.

A New Novel, Part 182 I Did It All for You

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.



Aksinya struck Ernst and ran him out of her house.  He was shamed and defamed.  Next the demon turns his attention to Natalya...

Asmodeus inspected his claws, “He got off easy. If he had taken you, he would be dead. There is still the problem of your handmaiden.”


Aksinya whirled around. She stared at Natalya as though seeing her for the very first time. Natalya was so beautiful. She was so much more beautiful than Aksinya. Aksinya wondered why she hadn’t noticed before. No wonder Ernst or any man would choose Natalya over her. Aksinya moved slowly toward her lady-in-waiting, “Natalya, you took him from me. You took away the only man who ever loved me.”

Natalya crumpled in on herself, “I did it for you, mistress.”

Aksinya’s voice rose to a scream, “For me? For me? How could you do such an evil a thing for me?”

Asmodeus smacked his lips, “Actually, it was my idea.”

Natalya cried, “I didn’t want you to lose it.”

Aksinya’s voice rose again nearly inarticulate, “Lose what?”

“Your sorcery.”

Asmodeus smirked, “I told her that if a man took your virtue, you would lose your power to accomplish sorcery. The Lady Natalya knows how important that is to you.”

“But that was all a lie. I could have loved him.” Aksinya’s furious features were distraught.

Natalya raised her eyes, “But not any more. Now, you can do what you love the most. You can have what you love forever. I love you, mistress. I could not see you hurt like that.”

“Hurt? Hurt?” Aksinya’s eyes were wild she sought anything around her that she could take into her hand. She ran to the side of the fireplace and removed the poker from the implements there, “I will let you know how much this has hurt me.”

Aksinya struck Natalya’s side, and she fell to the floor on her face. Natalya put her hands over her head and Aksinya struck her shoulders again and again with the poker. Aksinya’s blows were so wild half of them hit the floor. Curses and cries flowed from Aksinya’s lips, and bright blood suddenly appeared on Natalya’s dress. At each blow, a breath burst from Natalya’s lips. Dark red stains drenched Natalya’s back, but the girl didn’t make any other sound. While Aksinya raised feral and shrill screams, blood began to streak the floor. Sister Margarethe rushed through the door. She grabbed Aksinya’s arms and wrestled the poker from her. Aksinya fell back. She cursed the nun with her remaining breath. After that Aksinya’s mouth only opened and close without a sound.

I told you this novel is a semi-allegory to the book of Tobit.  I mentioned before about what happened to the men who tried to bed Sara, the heroine in Tobit.  All seven of them were murdered by Asmodeus.  Thus, the statement by the demon: "If he had taken you, he would be dead."  This is an important foreshadowing. 

Something important to note here is what would this situation be like if the demon was not present?  There is another question; what would have happened if there was no demon at all?  If there was no demon to tempt each of the players, do you understand, they might have done the exact same thing.  The demon is a wonderful tool that I use in this novel to personalize temptation, but the novel could still proceed without him.  It wouldn't be as well developed or tied together.  The demon is like glue that binds everything with his brand of temptation--luxuria (lust).

We see, the demon has not finished his work: "There is still the problem of your handmaiden.”  Do you see how the statement of the demon could easily be the prompting of thought in the mind of Aksinya.  The demon is tied (contracted) to her.  The demon is like an extension of her.  His thoughts in many ways are hers.  This is similar to the statements of Paul in the New Testament: "I do those things I don't wish to do..."  Aksinya is tempted, and she falls into evil because she listens to the tempter (the tempter is her own mind).  I use Asmodeus' words to directly show you this temptation.

Then within Aksinya herself, the temptation drives her thoughts: She stared at Natalya as though seeing her for the very first time. Natalya was so beautiful. She was so much more beautiful than Aksinya. Aksinya wondered why she hadn’t noticed before. No wonder Ernst or any man would choose Natalya over her. Aksinya moved slowly toward her lady-in-waiting, “Natalya, you took him from me. You took away the only man who ever loved me.”  I repeat this paragraph because of its importance.  We have seen this before, but I haven't pointed it out so directly, and I didn't make it so direct before.  This is a different type of temptation driving Aksinya.  Aksinya never thought this way before.  She never placed another person above herself.  Note, that Aksinya didn't say, "You took away the only man I ever loved."  She doesn't love him, and she knows it.

Natalya did everything for Aksinya.  We observed and know what suffering Natalya went through to seduce Ernst.  I didn't show you the gory details, but the side conversations and the many hints showed you how much Natalya was disgusted with giving herself to Ernst.  In this moment, to Aksinya all this is meaningless.  The reason for the actions are immaterial to her.  Indeed, Natalya did an evil thing for Aksinya--in the name of Aksinya.  Remember back to Asmodeus' comments over and over--I accomplish evil in your name.  His purpose is to do evil in the name of Aksinya.

The act of seducing Ernst was Natalya's sin, but the demon himself claims to have promoted it--it was his idea.  Then we find the demon lied to Natalya.  He told her that Aksinya would lose her sorcery if Aksinya had sex with Ernst.

Because Natalya loves Aksinya so much she worships her, because sorcery is so important to Aksinya (it is what she loves), Natalya could not let a man stand between Aksinya and her sorcery.  There is much wrapped up in this statement.  I dedicated pages and pages, scenes and scenes to showing you this very important connection--Natalya and Aksinya, Aksinya and sorcery.  So, do you see the irony here?  Natalya gave up everything to protect the sorcery that Aksinya truly loves.  Remember however, that Aksinya hates this part about herself.  Aksinya has been on a path of self destruction through the entire novel.  Natalya has been upholding her on this path, but it is a path Aksinya loved.  Natalya had the bad luck to want to give Aksinya what she really wanted--sorcery.

Aksinya cries out: “But that was all a lie. I could have loved him.” We know Aksinya can't love anyone or anything while sorcery (luxuria) fills her heart.  Remember how the desire for it takes over her mind.  Natalya's statement is precise and exact: "Now, you can do what you love the most. You can have what you love forever. I love you, mistress. I could not see you hurt like that.”  You don't have to have all this information to viscerally understand what has happened here, but Natalya's words explain exactly what I took a few paragraphs to explain.  This is why I love novels and writing novels.  I can build a story, plot, and theme to a point and everything can be made clear in a single statement.  It is indeed clear that this is Aksinya's love.  This why what follows happens.  Natalya touched the raw nerve that is the core of Aksinya's being.  The claims about Ernst are secondary and even unimportant to this. 

At this point, Aksinya is completely out of control.  We have never seen her like this.  She has been provoked by her own actions and own thoughts into a murderous rage.  Do you remember from the very beginning, the demon desired Aksinya to personally murder and sin.  He murdered in her name, but he wanted her to take the actions herself.  This indicates the true state of everything.  Only Aksinya can answer for her own sin and own faults.  Asmodeus knows this.  He has driven her to the point where Aksinya is willing to act in a murderous rage, an uncontrolled rage that might achieve the demon's goals.

And so Aksinya beats Natalya with a poker until the floor is red with blood.  The world has come full circle.  Aksinya called the demon to prevent the deaths of her family--now she is murdering a member of her household.  Aksinya accepted Natalya as her friend to rescue Natalya from abuse--now Aksinya is beating her friend and confidant.  Aksinya was determined to fight the demon--she has succumbed to the demons' temptation and is murdering her own friend.

The only thing that stops Aksinya is Sister Margarethe.  Still Aksinya curses the nun for her actions.  She has screamed so much and so long, she can't speak anymore.  Tomorrow, the aftermath and more.

A New Novel, Part 101 The Great Enchantment

Natalya and Sister Margarethe are about to be raped in the streets.  The demon has proposed multiple solutions most of which will not work.  He is driving Aksinya to some course of action.  The obvious solution is what the demon told Aksinya he could do for her a long time ago--I can murder in your name.  Aksinya is driven into a corner.  She is fighting against the demon and has had a tiny success when he could not strip her to do his will.  Now we will see what Aksinya has decided to do...

Natalya and Sister Margarethe writhed on the ground. Their attackers just now reached for the buttons on their pants and knelt on the hard cobbles before the two women in preparation to violate them. Aksinya lifted up a prayer as a great cry. She grasped the crucifix around her neck through her clothing and dropped her book. It fell at her feet.


The demon leaned toward her. His sulfurous breath touched her face, “That will do you no good. That guy isn’t listening to you. He never did before, and He certainly isn’t going to start now.”

Aksinya’s cries turned into a Latin curse. She began to shout in Latin. Her words flowed faster and faster.

The demon stepped back, “You can’t do that spell without preparation.” He reached for her. The smell of sulfur increased.

The young man stood helpless with his arms at his side. We stared at Aksinya. Natalya and Sister Margarethe stopped moving and stared at Aksinya. Her words were strange and a glow began to encompass her.

The men around Natalya and Sister Margarethe stopped and turned to stare.

Asmodeus’ clawed hand nearly touched Aksinya, but he flinched and pulled it back, “You can’t do that spell without a magic circle. It will bring the force of the world back on you. It may kill you. I can’t allow you to do it.”

Aksinya ignored him or didn’t hear him. She raised her hands and cried out a terrible word in Latin. The world stopped for a moment. All the passion in every person there suddenly disappeared. In that moment, the men from the tavern were gone. They were no longer there. It was as though they disappeared with all the passion and lust and emotion that had encompassed them in that moment.

As if it was an afterthought, the demon was suddenly gone too.

Aksinya let out another cry. She screamed. She felt something powerful around her, suffocating her. Then the pain filled her from head to toe. She heard a snapping like brittle sticks being broken, and fell to her knees. The crucifix on her chest seared her skin. She thought she smelled scorched silk and flesh. She doubled over and heaved and heaved again. She lost her breath and sucked in a lungful of vomit and choked. She collapsed to the street in agony. She couldn’t breath and in a moment blessed oblivion caught her.

Now we have reached the climax of this scene and a pivotal point in the novel.  The men from the tavern are about to rape Natalya and the Sister Margarethe.  Aksinya cries out a prayer.  She drops her book of sorcery.  She grasps her crucifix.  The demon taunts her about her prayer and Aksinya turns her prayer into a "great" enchantment.  This is why I told you all about "big" sorcery and "little" sorcery yesterday.  You didn't really need my explanation to understand what is going on, but with that revelation, everything should make sense (remember, I don't like to tell my readers everything, but I'm reveling trade secrets to you).
 
The demon explains everything to you--you can't do that spell without preparation.  He can't stop her.  Everyone's attention is suddenly on Aksinya.  Her words and her power course through the place.  They all watch her. 
 
The demon gives you more of the revelation, a small piece, you can't make that spell without a magic circle.  The power of the world will be reflected back on you and you might die.  If you wondered why a sorcerer requires a protective circle--this is it.  Aksinya doesn't listen.  We know she wishes to die, but that she is too afraid to die.  We know she wants to be free of the demon.  She has opposed him once with the crosses.  She thinks she can do it again with this spell.  Note that she still opposes God.  She is using her own power and her own knowledge to fight the demon.  She realizes she might die, but she will take that risk.  The demon's fear is interesting.  He doesn't want her to die--will he then be in default?
 
Aksinya's spell is successful.  Suddenly, the passion of the men is gone, and they are gone.  I don't give you a lot of details about what exactly happens--that will be partially answered in the future because Aksinya doesn't know exactly what happened.  This is part of the point I've made before--don't tell your readers everything.  Don't let your readers know more than the main character knows--that's one way you build tension and mystery.  The rest of the answer will be to a degree given in the novel, but not here.  The demon is also gone--for a while.
 
Then we see the results of Aksinya's enchantment as it affects her.  The power of the world hits her.  This is the power of God in the world.  The protective circle protects the sorcerer from the backlash of the power of God, and Aksinya is struck by it.  The sounds of snapping twigs are her bones.  Her injuries are great and we shall see tomorrow the result of her actions.
 
On another note, I finished the third rewrite of the novel and am still working on it.  Yesterday, I put it together for the first time as a single document.  I write in chapters and make each chapter in the document a separate file.  This is for protection in case of loss, and a habit from the days when a full novel wouldn't fit into a single file.  I put the entire novel together in a single linked master outlined document and format it there.  I still work on the individual chapters as single files.  In any case, the novel is about 121,500 words, and is still a very tight novel.  There isn't an extraneous scene in it.