My Favorites

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A New Novel, Part 101 The Great Enchantment

Natalya and Sister Margarethe are about to be raped in the streets.  The demon has proposed multiple solutions most of which will not work.  He is driving Aksinya to some course of action.  The obvious solution is what the demon told Aksinya he could do for her a long time ago--I can murder in your name.  Aksinya is driven into a corner.  She is fighting against the demon and has had a tiny success when he could not strip her to do his will.  Now we will see what Aksinya has decided to do...

Natalya and Sister Margarethe writhed on the ground. Their attackers just now reached for the buttons on their pants and knelt on the hard cobbles before the two women in preparation to violate them. Aksinya lifted up a prayer as a great cry. She grasped the crucifix around her neck through her clothing and dropped her book. It fell at her feet.

The demon leaned toward her. His sulfurous breath touched her face, “That will do you no good. That guy isn’t listening to you. He never did before, and He certainly isn’t going to start now.”

Aksinya’s cries turned into a Latin curse. She began to shout in Latin. Her words flowed faster and faster.

The demon stepped back, “You can’t do that spell without preparation.” He reached for her. The smell of sulfur increased.

The young man stood helpless with his arms at his side. We stared at Aksinya. Natalya and Sister Margarethe stopped moving and stared at Aksinya. Her words were strange and a glow began to encompass her.

The men around Natalya and Sister Margarethe stopped and turned to stare.

Asmodeus’ clawed hand nearly touched Aksinya, but he flinched and pulled it back, “You can’t do that spell without a magic circle. It will bring the force of the world back on you. It may kill you. I can’t allow you to do it.”

Aksinya ignored him or didn’t hear him. She raised her hands and cried out a terrible word in Latin. The world stopped for a moment. All the passion in every person there suddenly disappeared. In that moment, the men from the tavern were gone. They were no longer there. It was as though they disappeared with all the passion and lust and emotion that had encompassed them in that moment.

As if it was an afterthought, the demon was suddenly gone too.

Aksinya let out another cry. She screamed. She felt something powerful around her, suffocating her. Then the pain filled her from head to toe. She heard a snapping like brittle sticks being broken, and fell to her knees. The crucifix on her chest seared her skin. She thought she smelled scorched silk and flesh. She doubled over and heaved and heaved again. She lost her breath and sucked in a lungful of vomit and choked. She collapsed to the street in agony. She couldn’t breath and in a moment blessed oblivion caught her.

Now we have reached the climax of this scene and a pivotal point in the novel.  The men from the tavern are about to rape Natalya and the Sister Margarethe.  Aksinya cries out a prayer.  She drops her book of sorcery.  She grasps her crucifix.  The demon taunts her about her prayer and Aksinya turns her prayer into a "great" enchantment.  This is why I told you all about "big" sorcery and "little" sorcery yesterday.  You didn't really need my explanation to understand what is going on, but with that revelation, everything should make sense (remember, I don't like to tell my readers everything, but I'm reveling trade secrets to you).
The demon explains everything to you--you can't do that spell without preparation.  He can't stop her.  Everyone's attention is suddenly on Aksinya.  Her words and her power course through the place.  They all watch her. 
The demon gives you more of the revelation, a small piece, you can't make that spell without a magic circle.  The power of the world will be reflected back on you and you might die.  If you wondered why a sorcerer requires a protective circle--this is it.  Aksinya doesn't listen.  We know she wishes to die, but that she is too afraid to die.  We know she wants to be free of the demon.  She has opposed him once with the crosses.  She thinks she can do it again with this spell.  Note that she still opposes God.  She is using her own power and her own knowledge to fight the demon.  She realizes she might die, but she will take that risk.  The demon's fear is interesting.  He doesn't want her to die--will he then be in default?
Aksinya's spell is successful.  Suddenly, the passion of the men is gone, and they are gone.  I don't give you a lot of details about what exactly happens--that will be partially answered in the future because Aksinya doesn't know exactly what happened.  This is part of the point I've made before--don't tell your readers everything.  Don't let your readers know more than the main character knows--that's one way you build tension and mystery.  The rest of the answer will be to a degree given in the novel, but not here.  The demon is also gone--for a while.
Then we see the results of Aksinya's enchantment as it affects her.  The power of the world hits her.  This is the power of God in the world.  The protective circle protects the sorcerer from the backlash of the power of God, and Aksinya is struck by it.  The sounds of snapping twigs are her bones.  Her injuries are great and we shall see tomorrow the result of her actions.
On another note, I finished the third rewrite of the novel and am still working on it.  Yesterday, I put it together for the first time as a single document.  I write in chapters and make each chapter in the document a separate file.  This is for protection in case of loss, and a habit from the days when a full novel wouldn't fit into a single file.  I put the entire novel together in a single linked master outlined document and format it there.  I still work on the individual chapters as single files.  In any case, the novel is about 121,500 words, and is still a very tight novel.  There isn't an extraneous scene in it.

No comments:

Post a Comment