15 August 2017, Writing - part x221,
Novel Form, still more Building Tension and Release
Announcement: Delay, my new novels can be seen on the internet, but the publisher
has delayed all their fiction output due to the economy. I'll keep you
informed. More information can be found at www.ancientlight.com. Check out my novels--I think you'll really enjoy
them.
Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon.
This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in
installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in
addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel
was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and
tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this
blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.
I'm using this novel as an example
of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll
keep you informed along the way.
Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my
writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production
schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.
The four plus one basic rules I
employ when writing:
1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the
writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
4a. Show what can be seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted on the stage
of the novel.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.
These are the steps I use to write a
novel including the five discrete parts of a novel:
1.
Design the initial scene
2.
Develop a theme statement (initial
setting, protagonist, protagonist’s helper or antagonist, action statement)
a.
Research as required
b.
Develop the initial setting
c.
Develop the characters
d.
Identify the telic flaw (internal
and external)
3.
Write the initial scene (identify
the output: implied setting, implied characters, implied action movement)
4.
Write the next scene(s) to the
climax (rising action)
5.
Write the climax scene
6.
Write the falling action scene(s)
7.
Write the dénouement scene
I
finished writing my 28th novel, working title, School, potential
title Deirdre: Enchantment and the School. The theme statement is: Sorcha, the abandoned
child of an Unseelie and a human, secretly attends Wycombe Abbey girls’ school
where she meets the problem child Deirdre and is redeemed.
Here is the cover proposal for Deirdre:
Enchantment and the School.
 |
|
Cover
Proposal
|
The most important scene in any
novel is the initial scene, but eventually, you have to move to the rising
action. I continued writing my 29th novel, working title Red Sonja. I finished my 28th novel, working
title School. If you noticed, I started on number 28, but
finished number 29 (in the starting sequence—it’s actually higher than
that). I adjusted the numbering. I do keep everything clear in my
records.
How to begin a novel. Number one thought, we need an entertaining
idea. I usually encapsulate such an idea
with a theme statement. Since I’m
writing a new novel, we need a new theme statement. Here is an initial cut.
For novel 29: Red Sonja, a Soviet spy, infiltrates the
X-plane programs at Edwards AFB as a test pilot’s administrative clerk, learns
about freedom, and is redeemed.
This
is the classical form for writing a successful novel:
1.
Design the initial scene
2.
Develop a theme statement (initial
setting, protagonist, protagonist’s helper or antagonist, action statement)
a.
Research as required
b.
Develop the initial setting
c.
Develop the characters (protagonist,
antagonist, and optionally the protagonist’s helper)
d.
Identify the telic flaw of the
protagonist (internal and external)
3.
Write the initial scene (identify the
output: implied setting, implied characters, implied action movement)
4.
Write the next scene(s) to the
climax (rising action)
5.
Write the climax scene
6.
Write the falling action scene(s)
7.
Write the dénouement scene
The
protagonist and the telic flaw are tied permanently together. The novel plot is completely dependent on the
protagonist and the protagonist’s telic flaw.
They are inseparable. This is
likely the most critical concept about any normal (classical) form novel.
Here
are the parts of a normal (classical) novel:
1.
The Initial scene (identify the
output: implied setting, implied characters, implied action movement)
2.
The Rising action scenes
3.
The Climax scene
4.
The Falling action scene(s)
5.
The Dénouement scene
So,
how do you write a rich and powerful initial scene? Let’s start from a theme statement. Here is an example from my latest novel:
The
theme statement for Deirdre: Enchantment
and the School is: Sorcha, the abandoned child of an Unseelie and a human,
secretly attends Wycombe Abbey girls’ school where she meets the problem child
Deirdre and is redeemed.
Here
is the scene development outline:
1.
Scene input (comes from the previous scene output or is an initial scene)
2.
Write the scene setting (place, time, stuff, and characters)
3.
Imagine the output, creative elements, plot, telic flaw resolution (climax) and
develop the tension and release.
4.
Write the scene using the output and creative elements to build the tension.
5.
Write the release
6.
Write the kicker
If
you have the characters (protagonist, protagonist’s helper, and antagonist),
the initial setting, the telic flaw (from the protagonist), a plot idea, the
theme action, then you are ready to write the initial scene. I would state that since you have a
protagonist, the telic flaw, a plot idea, and the theme action, you have about
everything—what you might be lacking is the tension and release cycle in your scenes.
Here is an example of developing or
building tension and release in a scene.
This example is from Valeska: Enchantment and the Vampire. This is the initial scene from the
novel. I don’t have to tell you the key
setup for tension in the scene is George is unexpectedly shot. He also unexpectedly meets a hunting vampire. There are many details and small tension
builds in getting to this point. Once
George and Valeska have meet, the tension and release continues. Notice the added means of tension building
that are foreshadowed and then used later in the scene. I’ll note some of these in the notes at the
end.
A full moon hung above midnight Gdańsk. The dark medieval streets were wet and
filthy. Puddles ringed with oily
rainbows covered the cracked cobblestones.
The moon shone in each puddle, reflected as a grimy milky glow. The scent of saltwater and rotting fish rose
with the night tide, an unavoidable stench this close to the waterfront. At street level, the night was utterly
dark. The very few modern lights along
the crumbling cobblestone avenue shared little illumination with the ancient
alleyways that pierced the darkened buildings on either side of the
street.
George Mardling eased into the alley beside an
old shop and glanced down it. His eyes
were already well adjusted to the dark.
Still, he flipped the night vision goggle over his left eye and scanned
the alley. It was clear.
The late fall night was cold--George wore a
suit and over it a black overcoat. A
dark felt fedora sat on his head. That
helped conceal the night vision goggle.
The night vision equipment was very modern and compact. The organization issued it to the field last
month. The point was to get a lot of
night visibility out of a very small package—it worked well, but the battery
life was limited.
George was a tall and thin man. He liked to think his physique was like a
body builders’, but he was too thin. He
also looked too young and too serious.
More like a student or a professor than an agent. That was probably good for the
organization.
George carried a Beretta nine millimeter in his
jacket holster and a Beretta nine millimeter kurz in his waistband, he hadn’t
unholstered either weapon—yet. According
to headquarters, his target wasn’t supposed to be armed. According to his orders, this wasn’t an
attack or an arrest—he was making a reconnaissance, a surveillance with a
contact. If he could identify the mark,
all the better.
Usually, George worked in a team--he was alone
this time. His partner was busy, and
this was supposed to be a simple intelligence gathering mission—hardly a
mission. George moved across the
storefront. It was an old toy store, but
the building wasn’t on his target list either.
He stepped carefully and quietly toward the next alley. If the mark wasn’t in the first alley, he
should be in the second—that’s what their intel said. George glanced down this alley and caught a
slight movement—he noted a flare in his night vision goggle, obviously a human
being. George slipped into the
alley. He saw something else move as
well. The moment George stepped around
the corner, something in his field of view moved very quickly. It seemed like an animal, but it didn’t flare
much in the infrared—not enough for a person or an animal. Perhaps it was just a blowing piece of
trash. He stood a little straighter,
puzzled, there was almost no air movement on the street or in the alley.
George stepped a little further into the
alley. He put his hand over his
pistol—no need to draw it unless necessary.
He wanted a contact and not a confrontation. He snuck down the alleyway. These old alleys in Gdańsk made all kinds of
twists and turns. He eased his way
toward the back of the store. The
alleyway opened up a little near the backdoor of the shop. He saw a small dumpster on the left side, and
on the other side, a stack of garbage the city wouldn’t collect. The alleyway closed in again and continued
further into darkness. It was a darkness
so black his goggle couldn’t pierce it.
The person flared next to the dumpster. George held his hand near his Beretta. He was about to speak. The point was to make contact—that was
all. A sudden footfall behind him at the
front of the alleyway caused him to start.
That’s when he realized they had made a terrible mistake. That’s when the admonitions of all his
instructors came immediately back to him at once. He had no backup—no partner. This was supposed to be a simple contact and
not a risky mission. It wasn’t really a
mission, just information gathering. He
wondered in that moment if they had all broken protocol and training. His boss rushed him out to the field when the
information stream passed the data to them.
He approached this work like a simple lark in the evening.
George identified the sound behind him at the
street as the scuff of a boot on the cobblestones. Then he heard a click. George spun around to the street and backed
toward the collection of garbage and not the dumpster with its hidden
person. A green laser dot appeared on
the left side of his chest. In front of
him, he caught a very bright flare in his night vision scope. Directly after the flare came a thump. It took only an instant to process that a
bullet had been fired at him. By then,
it was too late. George felt something
tear into his left chest. It pushed him
half around, and he dropped to the damp ground.
The bullet pierced him and he felt it tear through his skin. It broke a rib, and burned as it drilled a
hole through his lung. He felt it break
another rib and exit at his back. The
pain was excruciating, but he was too shocked to make a sound. If he made any noise, it was a great
exhalation of breath when his left lung collapsed.
George fell into the pile of garbage. The pain and burning was so intense, he
didn’t notice if it hurt when he struck the ground. The man behind the dumpster moved—he didn’t
say a word. The man who fired the shot
didn’t say anything either. They just
bolted and left him there…to die. He
heard their rapid steps as they ran down the street. The sound slowly died out, and was gone. For a while, he perceived no sounds after
that.
George knew he was dying. It wouldn’t do any good to cry out—too late
now. He dragged his phone out of the
pocket of his jacket and fumbled with it for a moment. He pressed the panic button. He sighed.
They would be here in an hour maybe two.
He tried to dial the local police, but the phone slipped from his
suddenly slick hand and dropped to the cobblestones. He couldn’t gather the energy to pick it up
again. The blood poured out of the
bullet wound in his chest and he felt it bubbling out of the hole in his
back. He pressed his hand against the
wound in his chest and groaned—that hurt.
It didn’t staunch the blood much, and he could do nothing to stop the
flow of blood on the other side. He was
amazed. In all the movies when people
were shot, they moved around and chased the bad guys. He couldn’t do anything but lie there on the
cold and wet ground.
He was dying.
A movement caught him by surprise. It came from the dark alleyway away from the
street. A small person moved very
quickly from the opening to stand right in front of him. It stopped suddenly and whimpered, then sat
on its haunches. It squatted outside of
his reach and watched him. Its face was
thin and pale. The face barely showed in
his night vision goggle. That in itself
was surprising. It wore clothing that
seemed exceedingly fine, but which was filthy and obviously damp, the remains
of a girl’s party dress. The dress had
once been white with red or pink ribbons, but now it was torn and
bedraggled. The ribbons blended with the
stains on the dress. The stains seemed
to be long dried blood and not just the dirt of the streets.
The girl, it was a girl, stared at him with
bright eyes tinged with silver. They
appeared slightly dull in the night vision goggle. Her hair was black and matted. It reached almost to the cobbles of the
alleyway where she squatted. Her face
was finely etched and hard. She let her
tongue slip out of her mouth. She licked
her lips. Her tongue was slightly
pointed, and George could swear her incisors were elongated and pointed like
fangs.
She raised her eyes to his and spoke. It wasn’t Polish. She pronounced her words in high German with
a strange lilt. Her voice was low and
melodious, “You, mortal man, you are dying.”
George groaned, “I’m dying. Can you call the police with my phone?”
She eyed him strangely, “I don’t have a phone
here—what good would it do?”
“My iPhone.
It fell at my side.”
She shrugged, “I don’t know what that is. I wouldn’t be able to use it. You are dying.”
“I am dying.
Can you help me?”
The girl stared at him, “You are dying. It’s a full moon—I’m starving.”
George laughed and immediately wished he
hadn’t. He felt the blood bubble from
the wound at his front and his back. His
laugh cut off suddenly, “What did you plan to do—eat me?”
“I’d like to dine on your blood.”
He wanted to laugh again, but stifled it, “Are
you a vampire?”
The girl drew her finger across the cobbles,
“I’m a vampire, and I’m very hungry.
It’s a full moon, and you interrupted my hunt.”
“Why’re you asking my permission? If you’re a vampire, just drink my blood.”
“Can’t.”
“What do you mean can’t?”
She spoke mournfully, “You are one of
those. I can’t just take. I’m not sure I can ask, but I’m starving.”
“I’m what?”
“You’re a cross-bearer. I can’t attack a cross-bearer.”
George argued, “I’m not wearing any cross.”
She hissed, “You don’t have to have it on your
body. The cross marks your body, heart,
and soul.”
“Do you mean because I am a Christian, you
can’t attack me.”
“What you said—I cannot speak the name or the
word.”
George thought he must be hallucinating, “Is
that true of all vampires or only for you?”
“No vampire can attack those who hold to the
cross. You frightened my rightful prey,
and I’m starving for human blood.”
George stifled another laugh, “You look like
crap. Are all vampires like you?”
She frowned and her lips twitched, “My master
died, and I had to live on the streets.”
George smiled.
He was certain he was delirious, “A homeless vampire...”
She hissed, “My master died, and the house was
sold. I had nowhere else to go…”
“Now you wish to drink my blood.”
“While it is fresh. Please let me dine on it. I’ll take only a little.”
George smiled, “You may have all you wish. I won’t need any of it soon.”
“Are you certain? It may be a sin…for you.”
“A sin to give my blood to a starving
vampire? I don’t believe in
vampires. I’m sure you are a figment of
my dying brain’s imagination. My blood
will have no other purpose soon.”
The girl moved closer to him. She warily stepped toward him. George could see muddy stains across her
face. She was dirty, and she smelled of
old cemetery ground.
She pulled his hand away from the wound on his
chest, and she opened his jacket and shirt.
He felt her eager lips touch him.
They were soft and strangely warm—perhaps because he was so cold. He didn’t feel anything but it seemed her
lips touched his chest for a long time.
Finally, she lifted her head and drew her hand
across her mouth. Her lips and cheek
were slick with his blood. She moved her
face close to his. She pushed the hair
back from his eyes and touched his cheek.
Her hands felt cold, “I can give your life back to you mortal man—it is
very likely a sin, but for your courtesy, I wish to do so.”
George smiled, “There is no need. I have no more need of my blood. I know I am dying.”
“I’m sure it is a sin, but do you wish to
live?”
“I don’t want to be a vampire.”
The girl’s voice turned very sad, “That is
certainly no gift. I can give you back
your life. It is all I can do for you,
mortal man.”
George raised his hand, “Not as a vampire.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in vampires.”
“I don’t.”
The girl bit her long tongue and pressed her
lips against his. He tasted her blood in
his mouth. He had been tasting blood
since he was shot, but this was different.
The taste was different, and he sensed something burning in his
body. He felt her lips form a smile and
pull back. She licked her lips with that
oddly pointed tongue of hers, “That’s all I can do for you.”
George felt groggier than before—perhaps he was
finally dying. He stared at the girl,
“My name is George Mardling.”
The girl stood over him, “I was called Valeska
by my master, but my given name is Heidi.”
“Heidi is the name of a vampire?”
She frowned again, “You don’t believe in
vampires.”
“No, I
don’t.” George’s head fell to the side
and he was suddenly unaware of anything.
As
we move into the climax of the scene (the release), you can see the description
of Valeska is tension building. This is
similar to the earlier description of George’s wounding and wounds. These build tension just through description,
then we get to conversation. The
conversation in the later part of the scene is driving the tension and
release. Each bit of information about
vampires and about Valeska builds tension.
Do we really believe she is a vampire?
The suspension of disbelief here does mean that we do. George can’t, not yet. The buildup increases until George gives her
his blood. This was expected. The unexpected is Valeska gives George back a
gift. This is the use of an unexpected
resolution of an expected release (climax).
I
didn’t address in the notes all the small details that build up the
tension. For example, the cell phone and
Valeska’s lack of familiarity with it builds tension. George’s humor and lack of belief builds
tension. The description of Valeska
builds tension—she doesn’t look like we expect a vampire to look. Somehow, we have been encouraged to believe
that vampires all are well dressed, have great hygiene, and etc. How can this be true? What might a real vampire look like? What might happen to a vampire if they have
no access to fine clothing or bathing facilities? We learn much more about Valeska through the
novel. Each of these revelations build
tension that is then released. There is
always more.
More
tomorrow.
For more information, you can visit my
author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:
http://www.ancientlight.com/
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com
fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline,
character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing,
information, study, marketing, tension, release, creative, idea, logic
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com
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