Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 355, Scenes Transition to the Rising Action

31 March 2015, Writing Ideas - New Novel, part 355, Scenes Transition to the Rising Action

Announcement: Delay, my new novels can be seen on the internet, but the publisher has delayed all their fiction output due to the economy.  I'll keep you informed.  More information can be found at www.ancientlight.com.  Check out my novels--I think you'll really enjoy them.

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

The four plus one basic rules I employ when writing:

1. Don't confuse your readers.
2. Entertain your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.
5. Immerse yourself in the world of your writing.

All novels have five discrete parts:
1.  The initial scene (the beginning)
2.  The rising action
3.  The climax
4.  The falling action
5.  The dénouement

The theme statement of my 25th novel, working title, Escape, is this: a girl in a fascist island nation will do anything to escape--a young cargo shuttle pilot not following the rules crashes on the island.

Here is the cover proposal for Lilly: Enchantment and the Computer.  Lilly is my 24th novel.

Cover Proposal

The most important scene in any novel is the initial scene, but eventually, you have to move to the rising action.  I'm writing about the transition from the initial scene to the rising action of my newest novel, "Escape."  Escape is the working title.  I'll decide on the actual proposed title when I finish the novel.  I'm at the nineteenth chapter right now.  That means I've written about 380 pages.  I've just finished writing the climax.

Let's review my guidelines for conversation.

1.  Cultural norms (greeting, introduction, small talk, big talk)
2.  Logical response (characters must respond to each other in the conversation)
3.  ID the speaker
4.  Show us the picture of the conversation
5.  Use contractions (most of the time)
6.  What are you trying to say?
7.  What is unsaid in the conversation?
8.  Build the tone of the conversation.
9.  Show don't tell.
10.  Keep proper names to a minimum.

I'm an advocate of using the/a scene input/output method to drive the rising action--in fact, to write any novel.  I'll describe this technique (and style) again if you are new to my blog or you missed it before. 

The input for the next scene (from the initial scene) is Reb leading Scott away to a place of safety. 

You might think that the scene method of writing doesn't give the author any options.  If you have this impression, you are entirely wrong; however, the scene input/output method des constrain the writing to make it logical, manageable, and understandable.  Let's put it this way, many writers have confided to me, they have a great novel idea, but when they start, they don't know where to go with it--or, they arrived at a certain point in the writing and were stuck.  Using my method, I've never been stuck.  Before I realized how to write in scenes with input and output, I'd routinely get to a point where I didn't know how to continue.  I'd finally work it out, but until I figured out using scenes and input/output, I didn't have a reliable means to move the novel or the characters.

With the input of the scene constrained to Reb leading Scott to a place of safety, I have all kinds of options as a writer.  Remember, in scene writing, first I set the scene, then place the characters in the scene, finally let them move.  Perhaps tomorrow, I'll give you part of the next scene to show you how it shapes itself.  The overall goal is to reach the climax of the novel.  The climax of Escape is the escape (or not).  Every scene should drive toward this eventuality.                  

More tomorrow.

For more information, you can visit my author site http://www.ldalford.com/, and my individual novel websites:

http://www.ancientlight.com/
http://www.aegyptnovel.com/
http://www.centurionnovel.com
http://www.thesecondmission.com/
http://www.theendofhonor.com/
http://www.thefoxshonor.com
http://www.aseasonofhonor.com  

fiction, theme, plot, story, storyline, character development, scene, setting, conversation, novel, book, writing, information, study, marketing,

A New Novel, Part 168 I Won't Fear for My Virtue

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.



Now we are getting down to business.  Everything in the novel before was a setup for what will happen in the next two chapters.  This is the beginning of the climax of the novel...


On Wednesday, Ernst escorted Aksinya to dinner and the opera. He greeted Aksinya at her house with a bouquet of roses. He explained the extravagance, “Because I am working for him, my father increased my remittance.” At each place they visited, Aksinya thought she spotted Asmodeus. She caught a glimpse of him in the mirror at the Palais Coburg Hotel Residenz, and in the grand foyer of the Wien State Opera. A strong whiff of sulfur came to her in both places. When the Champagne and caviar came at the intermission for Tristan und Isolde, Aksinya thought she saw Asmodeus sneaking in the corridor just outside their box seats. Warned by his potential presence, she intended to drink less because of it, but ended up drinking more than she planned.


Before the beginning of the second act, Natalya prepared a blemis with caviar and handed it to Aksinya. Aksinya took the flat piece of bread, “Thank you, Lady Natalya.”

Natalya smiled oddly at her, “Would you care for another glass of Champagne?”

Aksinya cocked her head and grinned back, “Please, as long as you are pouring, Lady Natalya, I won’t fear for my virtue.”

Natalya filled Aksinya’s flute and continued to hand her another blemis with caviar. Natalya wasn’t certain how many times Natalya refilled her glass that evening, but by the end of the opera, she couldn’t stand on her own. Natalya and Ernst had to both help her to Ernst’s landau and then back into her house.

Ernst didn’t kiss Aksinya that evening, at least she had no recollection that he kissed her. She wished he had. She didn’t remember much at all. In the morning, she woke with a splitting headache. A strange whiff of incense and sulfur touched her nose. Someone was opening the shutters of her windows. Aksinya didn’t open her eyes, “Don’t let the sun in Nata. I’ve told you so many times.”

The transition from the buildup of the plot to the climax is just like any transition, but this one isn't just a transition in space or time, it is a transition in action.  Within the form of this novel, you might not notice this short transition as the transition to the climax except that I point it out to you.  That's all right, I don't expect my readers to deconstruct my novels, but in this commentary, I want you to note these very important points both for your elucidation and so you can see the power of story, plot, and theme all together.
 
We see a simple continuance of Ernst's wooing and affection.  There are changes.  We know there are changes in the thoughts of the characters.  Aksinya has a decision to make.  Ernst has made his decisions, but he is awaiting and still wooing.  By the end of this scene, it will be obvious that Natalya has made some decision of her own.  Watch closely, I'll point it out to you.  The demon, Asmodeus, has obviously made some decision (or the culmination of a decision)--something is afoot.
 
A whole bouquet of roses from Ernst.  He is working for his father now.  Ernst is making more money.  They visit their favorite places.  Notice that none of these places were chosen by Aksinya--they are Ernst's favorites.  Plus the places haven't changed--they are the same.  I didn't point this out until now--hope you noticed.  I did it on purpose to indicate to you that Ernst is pleasing himself, not necessarily Aksinya.  There is a metaphor in this--remember Aksinya pleases herself too.  Aksinya is too happy with the luxuria to notice, but she hasn't been wooed before.
 
Asmodeus is everywhere.  This should be an indicator.  I gave you little hints and little glimpses of the demon before.  This time, in  a single paragraph, I give you Asmodeus in person and scent.  I show you him through Aksinya's eyes.  The reason I pack the Asmodeus sightings into a single paragraph is so you won't miss them.  Because of her sightings, Aksinya intends to drink less--so she can keep a steady head, but look what happens... Natalya begins to pour the Champagne for Aksinya.  This is indeed a change.  Usually it is Ernst and Natalya tries to keep some check on Aksinya.  Now, Natalya is providing luxuria to Aksinya.  Aksinya will not reject it from Natalya's hands because, “...as long as you are pouring, Lady Natalya, I won’t fear for my virtue.”  It is not perhaps Aksinya's virtue we should worry about--or is it?
 
This was the decision of Natalya that I mentioned before.  We can see that at some point in the evening or before, Natalya made a decision to get Aksinya drunk.  The purpose, we don't know.  The result we shall see.  Aksinya intended to not become drunk tonight, but she could not reject the temptation from Natalya's hands. 
 
Look at this, the demon has not been in control of anyone at all through the entire novel.  He has only placed ideas in the minds of the characters.  With Aksinya, the ideas have been from subtle to overt.  He has worked subtly through others to tempt or to get them to tempt.  In any case, Aksinya is too drunk to stand, but still awake when Natalya and Ernst take her home.
 
This scene flows intentionally into the next.  It is a direct continuation that I don't want you to miss.  Therefore the physical transition is set in a single paragraph.  Look closely at the details.  The focus is Aksinya--she didn't get a kiss.  She didn't remember the evening after her return to the house.  She has a hangover.  Her room has the scent of sulfur and incense.  The sulfur and incense are very important here.  I know that most of the time, as we read, we might just miss some of these simple details.  This is a critical detail, so I underplay it a little.  If you think back through the novel, you know the scent of sulfur is the demon.  Asmodeus has been in Aksinya's room.  He was there long enough and late enough for the scent to still be there.  Second, the scent of incense in this novel has only been used in a single context.  I won't tell you.  If you remember, you might guess.  Tomorrow, I'll give you more hints.  We'll start from this last paragraph.  Reread today's transition scene.  See that it is simple and downplayed--that is the point.  

A New Novel, Part 166 Let Me Contemplate Herr von Taaffe's Proposal

For those who haven’t been following this blog, let me introduce it a little. I am currently blogging my 21st novel that has the working title Daemon. The novel is about Aksinya, a sorceress, who, to save her family from the Bolsheviks, called and contracted the demon, Asmodeus. Her family was murdered anyway, and she fled with the demon from Russia to Austria.



Ernst proposed to Aksinya during the New Years.  She has not made a decision and will not announce any decision until the next Monday.  She is returning with Natalya and the Bockmanns to Wein...

During the entire return trip, Aunt Brunhilda tried to get Aksinya to talk about Ernst and his proposal, but Aksinya would not say a word. She slouched in the corner of the coupe and read her German novel. As they neared the city, Aksinya sat up, “Aunt Brunhilda, Uncle, I would like to return to my house tonight. Please, take us there.”


“Tonight,” Aunt Brunhilda complained, “But we have dinner waiting.”

“I’ve eaten and drunk too much as it is these last few days. I would like to return to my house. I shall take my dinner at Sacré Coeur, that is, if I feel dinner is necessary.”

“Really, Countess.”

“I would like time to privately contemplate Herr von Taaffe’s proposal.”

“Oh, I see,” Aunt Brunhilda raised her head and gave a thoughtful look. “I certainly think that is a good idea. Would you like you to discuss your decision with us…?”

Aksinya turned her head toward the door. She would not respond to a single question her aunt asked after that. Eventually, Aunt Brunhilda gave up.

The Freiherr and Freifrau let Aksinya and Natalya off in front of the house across from Sacré Coeur. Sister Margarethe and the two novice sisters greeted them at the door. Aksinya and Natalya ate a light supper in Aksinya’s sitting room and had a late tea. They both studied until it was time for bed.

Aksinya may be the most private persons in her world.  She is secretive.  She is private.  She doesn't share with anyone, anything--except Natalya (and then when she is drunk).  She will not talk to her aunt about Ernst or his proposal.  We know that Aksinya is not in love with Ernst.  Perhaps she is in lust or at least has some desire for him, but even that is in question.
 
Aksinya doesn't want to be badgered anymore and she tells her aunt and uncle to take her home.  Aksinya and her aunt share some conversation, but Aksinya clinches her argument when she tells her aunt that she would like to privately contemplate Ernst's proposal.  This gets an immediate thumbs up.
 
We have a short transition, and they both prepare for the next school day.  They are preparing for their first day of return to school after the holidays.  So we are none the wiser about Aksinya's thoughts and her intentions.  She isn't sharing with anyone, and that means us too.  This is the concept of not telling your readers anything more than your characters already know or learn.
 
The other big question is about Natalya.  I want to point out some important concepts in character development.  Each of the main characters in the novel have been revealed significantly through the work.  I don't mean that their characters or personalities were hidden, but rather that the novel has been a constant revelation of their characters.  Many writers give you a simple introduction to a character and that's it.  You can see my emphasis is on the development of the characters and your knowledge of them.  You learn about them gradually, but yet you know them from the beginning.  They don't change, but your knowledge of them improves.  This is the way real life is. You are introduced to a person, but only through conversation and observation do you really come to understand them--or not.  Natalya's motivations are critical to this novel.  You will soon see how important they are and how they play out.  Tomorrow, back to school.

A New Novel, Part 111 Reverend Mother's Attention

The chapter has been set and we move into the details of clean up of the situation with the school.  The first step is to get Aksinya ready for school...

After breakfast, Natalya and Sister Margarethe dressed Aksinya in her school uniform. Sister Margarethe marveled that except for some strange cross shaped burns on her chest, Aksinya was not even bruised anywhere on her body. They walked across the street to Sacré Coeur together.


When they arrived, the Reverend Mother was waiting for them. She curtsied to Aksinya, “Countess, I’m so glad to see you well.”

Aksinya nodded, “Thank you, Reverend Mother. I am well. Sister Margarethe has been a great help to me.”

“I’m glad to hear that. When you finish your classes today, please come visit me in my office. You may bring the Lady Natalya and Sister Margarethe.”

“Yes, Reverend Mother.”

Frau Drescher stood in the shadow of the doors. She didn’t say a word.

Aksinya and Natalya went to chapel together, and in spite of her grievous sin of the day before, Aksinya didn’t feel any worse than she usually did.

They attended their classes together and at the end of the day, found themselves before the door to the Reverend Mother’s office. Before they could knock, Sister Margarethe came up beside Aksinya and rapped on the door.

From inside the office came, “Please enter.”

Sister Margarethe opened the door and Aksinya followed by Natalya entered the room.

The Reverend Mother stood and curtsied. She pointed to the seats before her desk. Aksinya sat and pulled Natalya into the other chair before Sister Margarethe could sit there. Sister Margarethe stood behind them.

The Reverend Mother sat and propped her chin on the back of her hands. Her look was piercing, “Well, Countess, Lady Natalya, you are both full of surprises. I do wish you had told me about your accommodations before now, but we will have to make do.”

Aksinya cocked her head, “Make do?”

“Yes, dear Countess. There is no way, I, the Abbot, the Cardinal, or the Freifrau Bockmann could allow two unmarried young women to remain in a house alone unchaperoned.”

“We have been there for almost two weeks.”

“That may be so, but it cannot continue as it has.”

Aksinya’s eyes slitted, “What did you have in mind?”

“I can allow you two to stay in that house only if Sister Margarethe oversees you.”

Aksinya straightened, “Sister Margarethe…”

The Reverend Mother wriggled her fingers, “Yes, Countess?”

Aksinya lowered her eyes, “Sister Margarethe will be acceptable.”

“Good, you may continue to dine with us here, as you desire, but I wish to also provide some of the novice sisters to keep the house.”

“More sisters?”

“The Lady Natalya and Sister Margarethe can’t be expected to take care of a house that large by themselves.”

“I didn’t expect to entertain.”

“The novice sisters will just take care of the cleaning and the laundry. Lady Natalya and Sister Margarethe will continue to act as your servants.”

“The Lady Natalya is my lady-in-waiting and not my servant.” Aksinya glanced back at Sister Margarethe, “She will be my servant?”

“She has been all this time. What do you think a teacher really is?”

“I see.” Aksinya stood. Natalya stood as quickly as she could beside her. Aksinya continued, “Thank you, Reverend Mother for being so thoughtful. You have been kind to me and to my lady-in-waiting.”

“We wish you both to be successful here. Why should we not accommodate you in these simple things?” She curtsied.

Aksinya and Natalya walked to the courtyard where Freifrau Bockmann’s carriage was waiting to take them to Freiherr Bockmann’s estate, Grossbock.

This is a transition scene that doesn't appear to be a transition scene.  The input of the scene is the return to school (following the incident of the great enchantment).  The point of the scene is to establish officially Aksinya's household.  The output of the scene is the return to the Bockmann's estate to prepare for the Advent party.
 
One of the recurring ideas in the novel is the crucifix that burns Aksinya's chest.  Whenever she is involved in sorcery, I can indicate her decline through this image.  The competing image is her illness when she gets close to the trappings of the church (of God).  These contrasting images are important because Aksinya puts up with them to attempt her own salvation from the demon.  She is constantly trying to save herself.  She puts up with the pain and suffering from both these causes because she will not give up her luxuria or her sorcery.
 
The Reverend Mother greets Aksinya when she arrives at school in the morning.  You know she had been watching for her.  The importance of this might be missed by the reader.  The Reverend Mother is wise in many ways.  She also knows how important Aksinya is.  We will discover this during the Advent party still to come (hint).  Then, the invitation from the Reverend Mother to visit in the afternoon.  I don't make a big deal of this, but you should be able to discern the tension such a request brings to Aksinya.  That's Frau Drescher in the shadows. 

We get the contrasting image of Aksinya in the chapel--it's not too bad for her.  I transition you to the end of the day when the meeting with the Reverend Mother is to occur.  There is no need for anything extraneous here.  Now we get to the meat.  Sister Margarethe was obviously waiting for Aksinya and Natalya.  She makes certain they all get there together.  Aksinya pulls Natalya into the seat beside her.  She is making a declaration to the Sisters and to Natalya.  She has bound them together in this business.  She might not realize how this is.  Natalya is buoyed by it.  The Reverend Mother can't miss it.  You already know that Sister Margarethe aspires to be like Natalya.  Sister Margarethe is relegated to the servant's position behind them both.  This is a new development. 

The Reverend Mother realizes this.  That is why she addresses the both of them.  Then, where we were expecting a reprimand, the Reverend Mother just acknowledges the fact that Aksinya has a house across the street.  This surprises Aksinya.  She thought she was going to be reprimanded too.  The worry is that Aksinya and Natalya are unchaperoned, and the worry comes from the Reverend Mother, the Abbot, the Cardinal, and Freifrau Bockmann.  This is pretty high attention.  Aksinya's response is a reaction to this attention (attention she didn't expect), and to the potential problems this might be for her.  Notice, she isn't worried about the demon's reaction or actions in this change of events.  Aksinya wants the freedom the house gave her.  Asmodeus wants Aksinya to have the freedom of the house--its purpose was so she could do evil.  Then the solution surprises Aksinya--Sister Margarethe shall oversee.  Aksinya didn't expect this at all.  This Sister will keep Aksinya's secrets.  She knows enough to need supervision from Aksinya.  Sister Margarethe has already been pulled into Aksinya's evil.  The solution is perfect for Aksinya (and perfect for the demon).

Then comes the insistence of novice sisters to keep the house.  This is an unexpected turn.  Aksinya will have to watch over herself.  Aksinya is slightly obtuse--perhaps intentionally.  She is trained to be a great lady, but she is not as knowledgeable about a household as she should be.  On the question of servants, Aksinya throws down the gauntlet about Sister Margarethe.  I gave you many hints and even told you.  Aksinya does not want the Sister to be like Natalya, and there is more than one reason why.  The most telling is that she doesn't want another apprentice, and she doesn't want to be responsible for the Sister's fall.  It is really too late for Aksinya to make corrections there, but the necessary place of the Sister is set.  Likewise, the Reverend Mother wisely reminds Aksinya, the place of Sister Margarethe is as a servant.  Aksinya realizes almost everything that is going on here.  She is honestly grateful for the Reverend Mother's help and consideration.

The end tells you today is Friday and Aksinya and Natalya are off to the Bockmann's.

A New Novel, Part 97 Every Evening, a Transition and a Kicker

I set up the situation of Aksinya and Natalya traveling to Aksinya's house for at least two nights.  Asmodeus took them the first time, and the second, they went to escape Sister Margarethe.  What I want to do now is end this chapter with the impression that the two ladies are going to the house daily.  Aksinya, at first, was reluctant.  Now she is encouraged.  Note, all of this was at the demon's suggestion.  Although we know Aksinya is trying to fight the demon, she is like putty in his hands.  The setup of the circumstances around Aksinya are detailed and unexpected.  This short piece is the end of chapter 8.  It has a transition and a kicker.  The entire situation is set up for the next chapter.  Chapter 9 is a pivotal chapter where we see the culmination of the setup begun from the entry into Wien.

Each evening after the dormitory was quiet, Aksinya opened the lock at the back door. She cast a spell to prevent observation. Then she led Natalya out of the dormitory and across the street to her house. The place was comfortable to Aksinya. It was filled with her family’s ancient possessions. She could make magic circles to protect herself and Natalya there. She could work the sorcery she found in her new book there. She could study whatever she wished. She could sleep in her own bed whenever she wished. She could work in very comfortable conditions in a place that seemed completely familiar to her. She literally had her own place.


As an excuse, Aksinya helped Natalya with her studies, and sometimes she worked on her own studies. She taught Natalya a little about Latin, but she was very slow and deliberate about it. She never wanted to teach Natalya anything about sorcery, but she didn’t want to bring on the attention of the demon or the ire of Natalya, so she taught her just a little. Enough to give the appearance of teaching, but nothing that had any real meaning. Aksinya reasoned the Latin itself could be helpful to Natalya anyway.

They didn’t see the demon the entire time.

Before the night was over, they returned to the dormitory and went back to bed. No one was the wiser, so they thought.

Note the language.  Each evening... Aksinya (used sorcery) to open the lock.  She additionally cast another spell to hide Natalya and her movements.  Aksinya has moved from resisting the demon to adding to her sorcery to hide her secretive actions.  Further, look at the description of what Aksinya does in her house.  Her temptation of luxuria is satisfied by her expensive possessions.  You know that includes her dresses, but more than that she has her sorcery books and implements.  She can do as she likes.  She can practice sorcery.  The new book has encouraged her interest in sorcery--just as the demon planned.  If you look carefully at the language I use, each item was what Asmodeus used to tempt Aksinya.  She is following the demon's purpose.  Even more, she is practicing sorcery--that was the whole reason the demon brought her to Wien.  Did you notice this before I told you?  If you did, I communicated it well.  If you didn't then I really achieved my goal as a writer.  I wanted you, like Aksinya to miss the fact that she was directly acting as the demon called her to act.  The end of the paragraph: She literally had her own place.


That isn't all.  As an excuse--Aksinya's excuse is that she is helping Natalya.  She is teaching Natalya sorcery.  This is just the thing Aksinya didn't wish to do.  She is doing it to placate Natalya and the demon.  Though Aksinya has convinced herself that her teaching has little meaning, she is teaching the rudiments--in Latin to Natalya. 

Then the kicker--all chapters must (should) end with a kicker.  Here is the kicker.  First, they didn't see the demon--the reason is that Aksinya is following the demon's instructions (almost).  She isn't following all of the demon's instructions.  Oh my, what might the demon do?  Second, the final sentence is the kicker for the chapter end.  It wraps up everything and sets the tone for the beginning of the next chapter.  The driver into it is the completion of this transition scene.  The scene began with the girls going to Aksinya's house.  The end of the scene is that Before the night was over... and the kicker: No one was the wiser, so they thought.  The point here is the idea that someone does know they are sneaking out of the dormitory.  You want to make a guess who is watching.  The trick is that Aksinya and Natalya don't suspect anything.

A New Novel, Part 84 The Beginning of the Weekend

This is the beginning of chapter 8.  I set up Aksinya in her house.  Now we see the progression of her sin and some very important connections.  The first is the Freifrau...

The week continued for Aksinya and Natalya without great problems. The demon led them every night to the house across the street. As yet, he made no other demands on Aksinya. The cellar workroom remained unused for now. The demon didn’t even ask Aksinya to go down to it again.


Chapel was a daily chore. With Natalya beside her, Aksinya could endure it, but it was not pleasant for her. Aksinya spent her time in the evenings working with Natalya on her German. Aksinya’s work in her classes suffered, but the sisters didn’t seem to expect much from a countess anyway. They didn’t praise her, but they didn’t berate her either. Only Sister Margarethe, in German class, seemed to show Aksinya any special attention. No matter what Aksinya did, Sister Margarethe praised her. Aksinya thought, perhaps her German was truly improving because she worked with Natalya so much.

On Friday afternoon, Freiherr Bockmann’s coupe, the covered carriage, came for Aksinya and Natalya. The Freifrau Bockmann herself sat in the coupe. For the weekend, Aksinya and Natalya had taken clothing from the house across the street. They wore something other than their Sacré Coeur uniforms now. Aksinya was dressed like a countess. Natalya like a lady-in-waiting. Both of their jewelry was much more elegant than that which would have been expected any student to wear.

Freifrau Bockmann’s eyes widened when she saw them. She descended from the carriage and curtsied to Aksinya. Then, she greeted both the girls with a kiss. The Reverend Mother came out of the school to see them off. Frau Drescher stood as an after thought in the shadows near the gymnasium’s door.

The Reverend Mother curtsied to Freifrau Bockmann. It was a deep curtsy that included Aksinya, “Freifrau Bockmann, the Countess and Lady Natalya have started well. We are glad you decided to take them under your wing for their social training during the weekends.”

Freifrau Bockmann was effusive, “Thank you, Reverend Mother. I will return them Sunday evening. Please don’t expect them for dinner.”

“Yes, Freifrau Bockmann.”

With the drivers help, they climbed into the carriage. After they were inside, Freifrau Bockmann tapped the ceiling of the carriage with the top of her cane and the driver started the horses moving.

This is the setup of the entire chapter, and this is the means to convey to you the basis of a continuing of action in the novel.  The week continued... then we see their week abbreviated to show only the important parts.  This is a writing technique to move the writing in time and to give the reader the expectation of what is happening without going into great detail.  Detail is left for important parts.  The key takings here is the cellar remains unused, the chapel, Natalya and German class.  Watch the sister and German class closely.
 
So Freifrau Bockmann comes herself to pick up Aksinya and Natalya.  You can see the small details.  The coupe, the girls are dressed in finery and with jewelry.  This is what gets the attention of Freifrau Bockmann.  They are wearing clothing and jewelry, especially jewelry she didn't expect them to have.  She has no idea about the house.  The Reverend Mother can't miss the opportunity to greet the Freifrau or see Aksinya off.  She is kind, but she is political and wise.  She praises the Freifrau in a manner the Freifrau can't ignore.  The point of all this is so I can detail for you what Aksinya and Natalya are about for the weekend.  At the end of this piece, I give you a little color to show how the world worked at this time.  That is the way to tell the driver to start the horses.

A New Novel, Part 79 Transition and German

After the interlude with the jewelry and box, Aksinya and Natalya went to school.  Chapel is, of course, first, followed by German.  Remember the Demon's words about the German teacher.

When they went to chapel, the crucifix burned against Aksinya’s skin, but her stomach felt better. She didn’t feel quite as nauseous, but she didn’t feel well either. Natalya still had to help her out of the church at the end. They went to their rooms to retrieve their books. The jewelry box was gone. Natalya served Aksinya tea.


Their first class was German with Sister Margarethe. The sister greeted Aksinya and nodded to Natalya. The sister did help Natalya, but she spent most of her class time speaking with Aksinya. At the end, she placed her hands softly on Aksinya’s shoulders, “Dear countess, your skill with German is very good and improving already.”

When they were outside the classroom, Aksinya whispered to Natalya, “I didn’t even finish my work for the class.” And she laughed. Natalya just looked concerned.

They went to their other classes and finally supper.

The problems with the rosary are a continuing theme through the book.  It indicates the guilt of Aksinya's sin.  One point of resolution would theoretically be that if the cross stopped burning her, then her guilt would be gone.  Aksinya has the classic popular and historical indications of deep spiritual problems.  Could you expect anything else?
 
When they returned to their room, Asmodeus has removed the jewelry box.  They have their morning tea--notice that Natalya pours.

German class is always interesting and important.  Watch closely.  I hope you remembered the interaction before.  Aksinya doesn't get it, but Natalya obviously does.  You can't miss the fact that Natalya knows more than she likely should and understands much more than she says.  Tomorrow, the demon again.

A New Novel, Part 70 A Transition and the Demon

Everything seems to be going well for Aksinya.  She and Natalya don't exactly fit in, but they have a place at the school, but we can never forget the whole point of everything...

Their next class was mathematics followed by history. Luncheon was simple and there was again tea. Afterwards, they attended literature, science, and theology. Luckily literature was in French. Aksinya translated during science and theology for Natalya. The science was simple for them both, the theology foreign.


They ended their first day at dinner, and the conversation at their table was muted, slightly tense, and definitely less exciting than the first day. They both had time to speak to the students and teachers and although they didn’t make any major inroads with them, they seemed to be accepted to a degree by both.

After supper, Aksinya and Natalya returned to their rooms to study at their desks. The gas lamps provided barely sufficient lighting—their rooms were filled with shadows. Natalya had already prepared Aksinya for bed. Aksinya sat in her silk nightgown with a sweater over her shoulders.

Aksinya struggled with one of the problems in mathematics. She was about to give up and ask Natalya’s help when she heard the door to her room open and close. She didn’t turn away from her desk right away. She was immediately happy that the Lady Natalya felt comfortable enough to come to her room without knocking.

The bed behind her creaked. Aksinya gave a happy sigh. She was about to turn around. The voice of Asmodeus startled her. It dripped with sarcasm and animosity, “Hello, Countess, did you forget about me?”

So we have a short synopsis of the day with a transition.  there is no need to show you directly the other classes or their lunch.  I do in the synopsis give you a lot of information.  At Sacré Coeur the language of literature is French--of course.  Theology is foreign because they are both Orthodox--did you expect anything else?  In this way, I can keep reminding you about their Orthodox roots.  The Catholic expression of faith is similar but different. 
Still in synopsis mode, we see through a window the dinner event.  Again, there is no need for great detail.  In just a few words, I give you the feel: muted, slightly tense, and definitely less exciting than the first day. 

So we get back to the rooms, and here we see some major scene setting.  I don't need to give you details about the room, I need to remind you about what I already told you and then set the differences.  I mention specifically desks and gas lamps.  Do you remember where they were?  That doesn't really matter, but the reason for mentioning desks and gas lamps is the gas lamps were above the beds and the desks.  This gives you an idea.  Then the differences.  The lighting is poor from gas lamp, and I paint you the picture.  You should have a good idea of the environment Aksinya is in.  I then show you a physical description of Aksinya.  She is dressed for bed and a reminder that Natalya dressed her in a silk nightgown, but because of the cold with a sweater.  You should have the entire picture now, cold and dark.

Remember that Natalya is very smart, so Aksinya with a problem in math thinks to get Natalya's help, but then Aksinya hears the door to her room open and shut.  The door is slightly behind her over her left shoulder.  It is dark.  She is concentrating on a problem.  She had Natalya in her mind, like I just put Natalya in your mind.  So you hear next the bed creak.  Aksinya is so happy with Sacré Coeur, Natalya, and her life, she has forgotten.

Asmodeus announces himself.  She did indeed for get about him and so did you.

A New Novel, Part 38 A Transition

Here is the remainder of the scene.  I guess I could have left it intact, but I thought that this would give an example of a transition.  The bell breaks the scene and gives Aksinya a reprieve from her aunt.  Then we get supper.

A servant came to the door and rang a small bell.


Aksinya’s uncle stood, “Supper is ready. Come, countess, you must eat with us and then sleep. Tomorrow, we will discuss what we shall do.”

They entered the family dining room to a very long and formal supper. Natalya quite properly served Aksinya at her shoulder, but Aksinya didn’t seem to notice. Aksinya nodded off a couple of times before dessert. Aunt Brunhilda finally called an end to the supper, and she herself led Aksinya and Natalya to a room on the second floor. It was the best room in the house. Natalya undressed Aksinya and put her to bed. Then she went down to the kitchen to eat her supper. She returned to Aksinya’s room and went to sleep in the attached servant’s chamber. She left the door to her room wide open so she could hear any sound Aksinya might make during the night.

This is an obvious regression that we see in Aksinya.  I will show you this characteristic of Aksinya more than once.  A psychologist might analyse her as partially manic depressive.  She has such energy when she is accomplishing sorcery or when she is focused on something.  She becomes an introverted child when she is confronted with a world she does not want to face.  In this transition, we see Aksinya in her low stage, but she isn't the only focus of the transition.
 
Natalya's personality is also displayed and note the slight change.  You might think it is for the better.  We shall see this more in the future--right now, notice that as Aksinya flags, Natalya just takes over.  All the details of life get accomplished by Natalya even when Aksinya cannot or will not act.  Look at the detail I tried to show in Natalya.  It is as the demon said, Natalya does everything perfectly. In the past, she was punished in spite of her perfection.  I might need to indicate more of this perfection especially in this transition.  You have not seen any obsessive-compulsive activity in Natalya.  She does have some ingrained habits, but she is not obsessive-compulsive.  Natalya is perfect in many ways.  In the main, she perfectly protects her mistress--keep this in mind and watch what she does.  How she reacts. 
 
So, a simple transition.  I think there is really no such thing.  Every bit of the writing must drive the story forward.  There must be no extraneous part.  Everything stitches the pieces together to get to the final garment (the novel).  In a strong piece of writing, the seams become elements that adorn as well as bind.
 
I've written more about the transition than the actual length of the transition.