We left Aksinya and the demon in the city of Minsk. That's a place in Russia, actually Belarus, but that was part of Russia at the time. I will likely ask my publisher to include a simple map when the work is eventually published. Minsk is a rather large city. I tried to capture it at a time without too much turmoil due to the Russian revolution. I like to use foreign language term when they seem appropriate. Here I began to use the term, Zatknis'! Zatknis'! means "shut up" in Russian. Later in this chapter I use some great Russian curses and a little French. My publisher doesn't allow English curse words in the writing. They have allowed me to use French words. The settings and use of the words are very appropriate. In the published version, they will be footnoted with their translation. I hate works that don't translate their foreign words and phrases. Even if you read the language, the intended translation from the author may be easily missed.
Aksinya ran to catch up to the demon, “What place is this?”
“We are in Minsk, countess.”
Aksinya stopped cold, “Minsk? It cannot be Minsk.”
Asmodeus halted as well and turned toward her, “Why can it not be Minsk?”
“Minsk is more than two days by carriage from my house…What did you do?”
“I made the world bend a little.”
Aksinya raised the hem of her skirts enough to glance at her legs, “They don’t pain me more than a days walking.”
“You didn’t touch me.”
“Then it is not levied against my soul for you didn’t carry me either.”
“That shall be seen. You have enough on your soul already.”
“Zatknis'! Demon,” She put her fists on her hips, “By the way, you are a demon carrying a large chest across your shoulders and we are surrounded by people, but no one looks at you oddly.”
“You are my mistress. You see and hear me in truth. I don’t allow them to view me like that. Would you like to see what I seem to them?”
Aksinya chewed her lip a moment, “Yes. Show me what you seem to them.”
The demon blurred a bit and suddenly came into perfect focus. He appeared like a small ancient servant. His face was kind and his hair was white. He had a long beard that made him look a little like an orthodox priest or at least a deacon, but his clothing was that of a highly placed servant. He carried a heavy casket like a jewelry casket on his shoulder. His face was ruddy and made more ruddy by his supposed exertion. He looked like he had been carrying the casket for a long time. His clothing perfectly matched the style and the cut of Aksinya’s own. She was obviously his mistress and to all the world she would certainly look like a cruel one.
Aksinya’s eyes flashed, “You idiot demon. Do mean to embarrass me to everyone in the streets of Minsk. Why did you choose to look like that?”
“Countess, I would select your words carefully. Already you are in danger because you appear to be an aristocrat. There are many who would begrudge you that, but you certainly leave the stink of the bourgeoisie in a very proletarian city.”
“You caused this. You made this happen, and you must protect me in any case.”
“That I must, but I don’t have to make you look good, and if I have to protect you then you will compel me to harm them.” The demon pointed with his thumb at the passersby who stopped to watch the arrogant young lady berate her ancient kindly-looking servant.
Aksinya stood straight. She glanced around. Finally, she cleared her throat, “Go on, Asmodeus. Lead me where you must. I’m tired, and I’m certain you are too.”
The demon smiled and turned. He started out again along the side of the road. Aksinya heard a couple of snide remarks, but no one followed them or threatened her. As they went deeper into the city, Asmodeus led her to a streetcar stop.
I hope you liked this short piece that revealed a lot of information about demons and about how Asmodeus is manipulating Aksinya even when she doesn't realize it. Did you also note, the demon can't help but tell her. He rubs her nose in it each time. This isn't because I don't think my readers will catch the nuance of the demon's work--this is the demon's personality. It is the personality of all temptation and sin. Is there any realization of sin or knowledge of sin without recognition of sin? Of course not. It isn't any good to the tempter if the tempted doesn't realize their own sin. That's the point. A tempter wants to tempt, but he also wants the other to know they were tempted and that they eventually sinned. Right now, the actions of the demon are relatively passive. We shall soon see the full gamut of his willingness to force Aksinya to sin. Another revelation for you. I chose sorcery as a sin for Aksinya because I can do a lot with it that isn't horrible or salacious. In other words, I can have her doing a lot of sinning without having to write embarrassing or unacceptable storylines. The point of lust leading to sorcery and sorcery to desire is also a subtle theme I am developing. The ultimate point, as we have already seen, Aksinya's sin (sorcery) has already led to murder and will soon led to other sins. Don't lose heart, I am writing to a redemptive theme. She will figure some things out--in this chapter.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
A New Novel, Part 12 On the Road to Minsk
The next bit. So Aksinya has been tempted and forced to go along with the demon. He packed up the house and packed up Aksinya. They are on their way to she doesn't know where. He is taking her to the perfect servant he has found.
Aksinya walked wearily behind the demon. He carried a large banded chest across his wide shoulders. In it, so he said, was all the goods and wealth of her family. It was impossible to imagine that such a small space held everything, but she herself had seen her bed and linens and all her clothing go at the last into that chest. Everything. She knew it was possible and that it might be true. Her sorcery books showed her how to make such places to conceal large parts of the world. She knew how to do it herself, but to see it done on such a scale… It was incredible.
The demon didn’t flag. She did. He had served her a fine dinner laid out on her family’s china. That was a few hours ago. Now, she was ready for supper and for bed, and she had no idea where they would stop for the evening—her family’s estate was well away from any large city or town.
Her shoes meant for Paris street were not designed for travel on frozen dirt roads and the snow covered countryside. Her feet hurt, she was cold, and she was hungry. She wondered more than once why they had not taken the carriage. As she understood it, that was also packed in the wonderful chest.
Unfortunately, the horses had been stolen by the Bolsheviks and were not returned. That’s what the demon told her. She wasn’t sure if she should believe him. She trudged behind him with her eyes on the dark frozen dirt road.
“At least it is not wet,” called Asmodeus back to her.
“I’m ready for supper and an inn.”
“You can’t stay at an inn in this part of the country.”
Aksinya was dismayed, “Then where shall I stay—a farmhouse?”
“Don’t worry, countess. I shall take care of your needs. Your first need is for a servant. I know of a perfect one that will meet your requirements—and mine. That is our first step.”
After a short while the frozen dirt road became surrounded by trees and they walked in a forest. Still, there was almost no traffic on it. The road turned abruptly in to stone paving and they entered a large town. The sky was already turning dark, and Aksinya was very tired. People began to populate the edges of the place. Traffic began to fill the streets.
Aksinya ran to catch up to the demon, “What place is this?”
“We are in Minsk, countess.”
Just a short piece from the beginning of chapter 3 to give the travel of Asmodeus and Aksinya from her estate to Minsk. More to come...
Aksinya walked wearily behind the demon. He carried a large banded chest across his wide shoulders. In it, so he said, was all the goods and wealth of her family. It was impossible to imagine that such a small space held everything, but she herself had seen her bed and linens and all her clothing go at the last into that chest. Everything. She knew it was possible and that it might be true. Her sorcery books showed her how to make such places to conceal large parts of the world. She knew how to do it herself, but to see it done on such a scale… It was incredible.
The demon didn’t flag. She did. He had served her a fine dinner laid out on her family’s china. That was a few hours ago. Now, she was ready for supper and for bed, and she had no idea where they would stop for the evening—her family’s estate was well away from any large city or town.
Her shoes meant for Paris street were not designed for travel on frozen dirt roads and the snow covered countryside. Her feet hurt, she was cold, and she was hungry. She wondered more than once why they had not taken the carriage. As she understood it, that was also packed in the wonderful chest.
Unfortunately, the horses had been stolen by the Bolsheviks and were not returned. That’s what the demon told her. She wasn’t sure if she should believe him. She trudged behind him with her eyes on the dark frozen dirt road.
“At least it is not wet,” called Asmodeus back to her.
“I’m ready for supper and an inn.”
“You can’t stay at an inn in this part of the country.”
Aksinya was dismayed, “Then where shall I stay—a farmhouse?”
“Don’t worry, countess. I shall take care of your needs. Your first need is for a servant. I know of a perfect one that will meet your requirements—and mine. That is our first step.”
After a short while the frozen dirt road became surrounded by trees and they walked in a forest. Still, there was almost no traffic on it. The road turned abruptly in to stone paving and they entered a large town. The sky was already turning dark, and Aksinya was very tired. People began to populate the edges of the place. Traffic began to fill the streets.
Aksinya ran to catch up to the demon, “What place is this?”
“We are in Minsk, countess.”
Just a short piece from the beginning of chapter 3 to give the travel of Asmodeus and Aksinya from her estate to Minsk. More to come...
Thursday, October 14, 2010
A New Novel, Part 11 A New Life
I hope you weren't too shocked to see Aksinya's issue. It isn't specifically a sin, but lust drives her in many ways. The temptation of this specific one of the seven deadly sins (they are really temptations and not sins) is extravagance specifically from Latin, luxuria or unrestrained excess. Extravagant behaviour includes the frequent purchase of luxury goods and forms of debauchery. Aksinya doesn't necessarily lust after things or individuals, she lusts after knowledge and specifically the knowledge of sorcery. We will see this later. Her own desire becomes the symbol for both this luxuria and the culmination of her acts of sorcery. The point is to give the readers symbols that relate directly to the actions of the characters. This provides the fulcrum that moves the plot toward the theme. This doesn't mean the storyline or the plot is an allegory, but rather that the plot becomes a vehicle for the theme through the use of these symbols. They make the reader immediately relate back to certain characteristics that illustrate the theme within the major characters.
The last bit of chapter 2:
In the morning, the demon stood at the side of her bed. Aksinya didn’t blink, “I did not invite you into my room, demon.”
“Countess, I have your breakfast. Would you like to eat it here or in the dining room?”
Aksinya sat up, “Here, please.”
“Would you like me to draw your bath?”
“Please.”
“What would you like me to pack?”
Aksinya chewed on a crust of bread and took a sip of tea before answering, “Take all my mother’s dresses and mine. Also my sisters. Bring the china and silver and any of the fine artwork. The money is in my father’s safe and in his room. Get it all. If you know my mind, you know where all of it is.”
“I know where it all is.”
“Don’t forget my mother, sister, and my jewelry. Bring my sister’s shoes. They fit me.”
“Do you want me to take the furniture also?”
“Can you?”
“I can.”
“Then take it all—everything in the house and guesthouse. By the way, where will you put all of it?”
“That is my secret. What about your books and things…” he drew out the word.
“Put those on the top where I can get them at any time.”
“Very good, countess. When you are finished and dressed, we may leave. What clothing would you like me to put out for you?”
“My blue traveling dress the one with the puffy sleeves and the lace. I’ll wear my blue button-up shoes. The ones mother brought me from Paris. And don’t forget my blue traveling hat—the one with the feather.”
“Very good. I’m glad you are feeling better and in such good spirits. It’s amazing what giving in to a little temptation can do for you.”
Aksinya dropped her toast. She choked and bowed her head. After she got back her breath, she whispered, “That’s what I did, didn’t I.”
“Yes, splendidly. I was so proud of you.”
“I’m suddenly not so proud of myself. I’m not hungry any more.”
“Eat, countess. I’ll not be put off. When I am done with the packing, we shall depart. I have in mind to get your servant, and I have in mind to leave this house before the Party visits it this evening.”
“Will they?”
“My sources tell me they will.”
“And who are they?”
“I’ll not bore you with the details.”
“I should speak to the villagers before I go.”
“They know your family is dead. They assume you are too.”
Aksinya took a deep breath, “How did they know?”
“While you were a slug-a-bed, they came to check on your father. They found the bloodstains and the fresh graves in the plot.”
“I should have had you hide it all.”
“It wouldn’t do any good. They would find out eventually.”
“Surely they see the lights from the house. We have been burning them since, since, since that time.”
“I have given the impression that no one is here. I have kept it all still as the grave and hidden any signs of life. It is as if you were dead.”
“Yes. I see.”
“Because, you are dead to this life, countess. You start a new life today. Today, we shall leave for Austria and your family there.”
Aksinya mouthed the words, “So you can do evil there.”
“No, so we can accomplish evil there.”
The story must move out of Russia and to the west for many reasons. There is little scope for the demon to act and too much scope for Aksinya to act (in the mind of the demon). This shift of scene will allow the focus of the story to move--from just the demon and Aksinya. The most important consideration is the problem the demon will have with Aksinya in Russia. She will be much more vulnerable after she has been disconnected from her roots. I may be revealing too much here, but I thought I might give you some insight to the purpose of the demon.
By the way, I've already thought of some important changes I want to make to the first chapter. Specifically, I will add snow to the scene--this will give it more of the proper feel for the time of year, and I will be able to make some strong comparisons to the blood on the snow.
The last bit of chapter 2:
In the morning, the demon stood at the side of her bed. Aksinya didn’t blink, “I did not invite you into my room, demon.”
“Countess, I have your breakfast. Would you like to eat it here or in the dining room?”
Aksinya sat up, “Here, please.”
“Would you like me to draw your bath?”
“Please.”
“What would you like me to pack?”
Aksinya chewed on a crust of bread and took a sip of tea before answering, “Take all my mother’s dresses and mine. Also my sisters. Bring the china and silver and any of the fine artwork. The money is in my father’s safe and in his room. Get it all. If you know my mind, you know where all of it is.”
“I know where it all is.”
“Don’t forget my mother, sister, and my jewelry. Bring my sister’s shoes. They fit me.”
“Do you want me to take the furniture also?”
“Can you?”
“I can.”
“Then take it all—everything in the house and guesthouse. By the way, where will you put all of it?”
“That is my secret. What about your books and things…” he drew out the word.
“Put those on the top where I can get them at any time.”
“Very good, countess. When you are finished and dressed, we may leave. What clothing would you like me to put out for you?”
“My blue traveling dress the one with the puffy sleeves and the lace. I’ll wear my blue button-up shoes. The ones mother brought me from Paris. And don’t forget my blue traveling hat—the one with the feather.”
“Very good. I’m glad you are feeling better and in such good spirits. It’s amazing what giving in to a little temptation can do for you.”
Aksinya dropped her toast. She choked and bowed her head. After she got back her breath, she whispered, “That’s what I did, didn’t I.”
“Yes, splendidly. I was so proud of you.”
“I’m suddenly not so proud of myself. I’m not hungry any more.”
“Eat, countess. I’ll not be put off. When I am done with the packing, we shall depart. I have in mind to get your servant, and I have in mind to leave this house before the Party visits it this evening.”
“Will they?”
“My sources tell me they will.”
“And who are they?”
“I’ll not bore you with the details.”
“I should speak to the villagers before I go.”
“They know your family is dead. They assume you are too.”
Aksinya took a deep breath, “How did they know?”
“While you were a slug-a-bed, they came to check on your father. They found the bloodstains and the fresh graves in the plot.”
“I should have had you hide it all.”
“It wouldn’t do any good. They would find out eventually.”
“Surely they see the lights from the house. We have been burning them since, since, since that time.”
“I have given the impression that no one is here. I have kept it all still as the grave and hidden any signs of life. It is as if you were dead.”
“Yes. I see.”
“Because, you are dead to this life, countess. You start a new life today. Today, we shall leave for Austria and your family there.”
Aksinya mouthed the words, “So you can do evil there.”
“No, so we can accomplish evil there.”
The story must move out of Russia and to the west for many reasons. There is little scope for the demon to act and too much scope for Aksinya to act (in the mind of the demon). This shift of scene will allow the focus of the story to move--from just the demon and Aksinya. The most important consideration is the problem the demon will have with Aksinya in Russia. She will be much more vulnerable after she has been disconnected from her roots. I may be revealing too much here, but I thought I might give you some insight to the purpose of the demon.
By the way, I've already thought of some important changes I want to make to the first chapter. Specifically, I will add snow to the scene--this will give it more of the proper feel for the time of year, and I will be able to make some strong comparisons to the blood on the snow.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
A New Novel, Part 10 Sin
Next installment is the result of the demon, Asmodeus' temptation. This is only the beginning. The first of many temptations and their outcome. In this one, Aksinya is fully complacent and guilty. Yet, she was tempted in every way by the demon.
After he left, Aksinya sipped on the rest of the tea. She finally put everything back on the tray and settled back in her bed. She tried to sleep, but the demon was right. She felt every ache and pain. She couldn’t move without pain and the covers on her only increased her suffering. Her nightgown was warm but too heavy. It pressed against her legs and added to her agony. The tray pushed on the covers and the nightgown and added to it. She couldn’t toss and turn, that was too painful. She didn’t dare touch herself. The demon knew that weakness in her and mocked her. She hurt too much for that to be much comfort anyway. She wanted to settle into the bath again, but she knew he wouldn’t prepare a bath again for her until she did his bidding. After a long while, she thought what was the problem with just looking at her books. They would take her mind off her pain and make her feel the power again.
Aksinya sat up. She tried to move the tray to the side, but she couldn’t lift it. She tossed it to the floor and threw off her covers. She lifted her nightgown off her legs. That felt better, but now she was cold. And this was too tempting for her. She put the nightgown down again, but that made her legs ache. Just to read the books would sooth her mind and take it off of her pain. She took up her staff and scooted off the bed. When she moved, it seemed like the ache in her legs decreased and then she wondered if the demon could make that happen. She wondered if he was manipulating her right now.
She made it to the stack of books and examined them. The book she sought was right on top. That seemed peculiar too. She carried it back to the bed and sat up with it. The moment she began reading it, she felt as though her suffering rolled away. There was nothing so bad in the words. They simply described the proper elements and words to heal. She had read and memorized them before. Every time she read these words, whenever she read her books, they eased her mind and heart. She wasn’t reading about curses only how to cure the body using the power of the world. She knew about that. It was her hobby. It was her expertise. Why shouldn’t she use it. The demon didn’t know everything. He didn’t understand her at all. She could use this power without harm. It would only help. She knew it.
Almost without thinking, Aksinya slid off her bed to the floor. She threw back the oriental rug at the side of her bed. She took her special chalk and drew a circle then a pentagram within it. She lit a single tallow candle. One was sufficient for this. She read the words. She didn’t need to. She knew them by heart. She read them anyway, the heavy feel of the book in her hands gave her comfort. She made the cabalistic signs and the sounds. She did it all until she came to the sacrifice part. This was a little tricky. The best sacrifice was a part of yourself. She took her dagger and held it against her hand. She easily and precisely sliced her finger. She had done this so often it was normal for her. The multiple scars on her left index finger was a mute witness to her expertise. The blood fell to the floor and there was a flash. The slice on her finger was immediately gone. There appeared another light scar. The pain in her legs was gone. She raised her nightgown. The bruises were gone, and she felt fantastic. She blew out the candle and carefully erased the circle and pentagram. She put back the rug and slipped into bed. She felt so good she couldn’t help herself. Her desire was uncontrollable. She touched herself and pleasured herself. Then she slept.
This was the point of the demon's mention of sorcery. The ploy was to point to a future time of study--that was to wet Aksinya's appetite. The second mention was direct to influence her to act. He even told her what he wanted her to do, she still did it. Further, she tried to hide her actions from him. The final point is that the result led her to lustful thoughts that she acted out. Certainly not a sin in itself, but the result of her sin and actions. In this, I tried to depict the perfect picture of temptation. Since this is the first of many, it should follow a classic plot.
After he left, Aksinya sipped on the rest of the tea. She finally put everything back on the tray and settled back in her bed. She tried to sleep, but the demon was right. She felt every ache and pain. She couldn’t move without pain and the covers on her only increased her suffering. Her nightgown was warm but too heavy. It pressed against her legs and added to her agony. The tray pushed on the covers and the nightgown and added to it. She couldn’t toss and turn, that was too painful. She didn’t dare touch herself. The demon knew that weakness in her and mocked her. She hurt too much for that to be much comfort anyway. She wanted to settle into the bath again, but she knew he wouldn’t prepare a bath again for her until she did his bidding. After a long while, she thought what was the problem with just looking at her books. They would take her mind off her pain and make her feel the power again.
Aksinya sat up. She tried to move the tray to the side, but she couldn’t lift it. She tossed it to the floor and threw off her covers. She lifted her nightgown off her legs. That felt better, but now she was cold. And this was too tempting for her. She put the nightgown down again, but that made her legs ache. Just to read the books would sooth her mind and take it off of her pain. She took up her staff and scooted off the bed. When she moved, it seemed like the ache in her legs decreased and then she wondered if the demon could make that happen. She wondered if he was manipulating her right now.
She made it to the stack of books and examined them. The book she sought was right on top. That seemed peculiar too. She carried it back to the bed and sat up with it. The moment she began reading it, she felt as though her suffering rolled away. There was nothing so bad in the words. They simply described the proper elements and words to heal. She had read and memorized them before. Every time she read these words, whenever she read her books, they eased her mind and heart. She wasn’t reading about curses only how to cure the body using the power of the world. She knew about that. It was her hobby. It was her expertise. Why shouldn’t she use it. The demon didn’t know everything. He didn’t understand her at all. She could use this power without harm. It would only help. She knew it.
Almost without thinking, Aksinya slid off her bed to the floor. She threw back the oriental rug at the side of her bed. She took her special chalk and drew a circle then a pentagram within it. She lit a single tallow candle. One was sufficient for this. She read the words. She didn’t need to. She knew them by heart. She read them anyway, the heavy feel of the book in her hands gave her comfort. She made the cabalistic signs and the sounds. She did it all until she came to the sacrifice part. This was a little tricky. The best sacrifice was a part of yourself. She took her dagger and held it against her hand. She easily and precisely sliced her finger. She had done this so often it was normal for her. The multiple scars on her left index finger was a mute witness to her expertise. The blood fell to the floor and there was a flash. The slice on her finger was immediately gone. There appeared another light scar. The pain in her legs was gone. She raised her nightgown. The bruises were gone, and she felt fantastic. She blew out the candle and carefully erased the circle and pentagram. She put back the rug and slipped into bed. She felt so good she couldn’t help herself. Her desire was uncontrollable. She touched herself and pleasured herself. Then she slept.
This was the point of the demon's mention of sorcery. The ploy was to point to a future time of study--that was to wet Aksinya's appetite. The second mention was direct to influence her to act. He even told her what he wanted her to do, she still did it. Further, she tried to hide her actions from him. The final point is that the result led her to lustful thoughts that she acted out. Certainly not a sin in itself, but the result of her sin and actions. In this, I tried to depict the perfect picture of temptation. Since this is the first of many, it should follow a classic plot.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
A New Novel, Part 9 Comments on Temptation plus the Reason
I have included some comments from a reader. I will address the questions and some of the comments in italics.
From a reader:
You're novel, fascinating & original. Though, was wondering, did you get the idea of demon/human dialogue, from the CS Lewis's Screwtape Letters? Regardless, brilliant, and engaging. Betcha, when completed, and polished, it will become a best seller. Thanks. I do like the Screwtape letters.
Have several Q's; unfortunately, will be a few days before I can much detail ('cause, I'm swamped at work).
Though, will quickly make a few points:
1. Really like the way you're weaved the story theme, plot & character development together; especially revealing, with the dialogue between demon & the girl. Thanks!
2. Particularly liked the bath scene; like the (authentic) setting, the description (sets mood), and way the girl (mentally) assessed herself; gives the reader a a good (subtle) sense of her locus of identity, her vulnerability, etc. Precise point and this is something that will potentially be fleshed out more in the final.
3. Very interesting/clever how you discuss her sense of loss of identify, with loss of her hair...the only redeeming characteristic that (she thinks) defined her beauty, given to the demon, as surety for contract. Clear, she's mis-guided, by focusing on the external (hair), whilst the demon is focusing on the internal (acquisition of the soul). The maturity/immaturity of Aksinya is a continuing theme.
4. BTW, I also, like the way you used the 'mirror' to allow her to catch image of herself, and characterize herself. Thanks, excellent observation.
5. Brilliant how you turned the demon into a temporary domesticated helper...getting food, drawing bathwater for her. Almost lulls you into a 'false' sense of sympathy for him, domestically caring for her...though, he makes it clear, what his agenda is, etc. That's exactly the point--we shall see how this plays out.
Must say, I was very surprised, you (the writer) were so straight forward, in having the demon directly suggest she study sorcery. I understand his motive, why, etc.
But, personally, I thought, it was a waste of a great opportunity, to further highlight the demon's cunning, and plumb the depths of the girl's character, and highlight her 1st futile (misguided, toxic) attempt to regain control her destiny, after death of her family; and horrible contract with the demon.
Kindly suggest, you consider unfolding in a more subtle extended manner; gives you a sense of the demons's cunning; perhaps, a dialogue between the girl & demon...
Say, he at the bedroom side of the door, she in the bathroom. She initiates, and engages, in dialogue with him, while concurrently pondering over her current situation, looking at her physical condition, maybe, in the mirror or bath, seeing her physical vulnerability & bruised condition again, & maybe, have a few fleeting thoughts pass through her head...highlighting her state of mind,and emotional vulnerability...maybe, have the conversation trail off....die down...than resume, different cadence, different length of dialogue,e tc.
This is an excellent observation. I thought about doing exactly this, and in the next cut, I may put this more into play. The reason I had the demon suggest sorcery to her is to tempt her to sorcery directly. This will become clear somewhat in this piece, and definitely in the next. It could perhaps be more subtle and I agree with the comments. There is a reason for the demon's suggestion...
The point is, through the dialogue, you (the reader) gets the sense that the demon clearly senses her vulnerability, her desire to control or influence her future...so he begins embarks on a elaborate or scheming dialogue with her which culminates in him (obliquely) suggesting sorcery...not directly upfront...but, rather gets her to crave after it herself....the temptation is planted by him, but, she goes after it....so, it seems like her idea, when really it's an infection from him.. Betcha it would add an interesting dimension, to the character development, and story plot.
6. Liked the way, you had the girl say a prayer, for the food brought....some subtle hint of hope, for redemption of her soul. Yes, maybe the prayer was just an unconscious habit, but, it most certainly was picked up by the demon, irritated him, and he tried to invalidate & smother it with condemnation..gives you a great clue, on the condition of her soul...though not innocent, most certainly redeemable... Again a great observation.
Well, that's a few points of feedback on your latest chapter..
But big picture, probably the two most fascinating themes, I've seen woven into your story, aside from the original 'contract with the demon', was your unfolding of the concept of the 'bounding of the demon', and, your unfolding of the idea of 'choice & consequence' that plays out, with the girl making a deliberate choice of the injury she will gets, through her interaction with the demon....but, she doesn't fully realize the ramifications, of either choice, until afterwards. We will see the demon has more bounds.
The following dialogue was particularly noteworthy:
"You trusted your body and soul to me—you have aligned yourself to a demon. Your soul was harmed, but not your body. I can protect your body, but I can’t protect your soul. You will heal—that is the way with humans.”
As well as the following:
"It already has marked your soul. Such things become like the lustful desires you already know, they are difficult to purge from your heart and mind once they are experienced.”
Alot of truth, to both; especially the second. Ah, the delights of sin are good for a season, but the consequences, can be fore a lifetime, or eternity.
Reminds me of that verse:
"What does it profit a man, if he gains the whole world, but looses his soul." This in some measure is the theme of the novel.
Here is the next installment. It doesn't get to the full endpoint of the temptation, but it moves toward it and gets to the next point--the purpose of the demon and the purpose he wishes for her. Additionally, this tells you why he mentioned sorcery while she was in the bath.
“Now, countess, let us plan what you should do. The first is that you cannot stay here.”
“I have nowhere else to go.”
“Foolish lady, we will soon run out of food to feed you and heat to sustain your puny body.”
“You can provide me all these things…”
“At the expense of your soul.”
“I thought you desired that.”
“And at the expense of my reputation. I told you, I do not wish to become your domestic.”
Aksinya laughed, “You already are.”
“I have pride, that is one of the seven deadly sins, you know.”
“So, if you are my domestic it hurts your pride?” Aksinya continued to chuckle.
“This is not funny. I am Asmodeus. I will not continue this way.”
“What can you do to stop it?”
“I will protect you and I will fulfill our contract, but I can make it exquisitely painful for you to continue in this manner.”
Aksinya’s brow rose, “How could you do that. What suffering could you bring me that I haven’t already experienced?”
“Your people and friends will be pursued by the Bolsheviks. I can bring great suffering to them—that is my purpose.”
Aksinya let her cup fall to the saucer, “You wouldn’t dare. I would simply order you to…”
“I told you. I can’t stop this revolution, and I don’t want to stop it. The lives of your friends and your people are nothing to me. You can order all you wish, but I will protect only you. My purpose, otherwise, is evil. You know this.”
“I understand this,” Aksinya ran her fingers through her short hair. She regretted that as soon as she did it. It reminded her of everything she had done already. Meekly, she whispered, “Then what do you wish me to do.”
“First, I must find you a servant.”
“If so, it must be someone you will not harm.”
Asmodeus grinned, “I have the perfect servant in mind.”
“Then what?”
“I told you, you must continue to study sorcery. To do that, you need a safe place to live and work.”
Aksinya mumbled into her teacup, “Where is such a place?”
“There are many such places. I know your mind so I know you have relatives beyond the boarders of this country. They will be willing to take you in and give you leave to live as you wish.”
“You want me to travel?”
“I wish to travel too. There are many places in the world that need more evil. Let us seek such a place.”
“So you can make it like this one?”
“That would not be so safe for you. I’ll settle for a balance of evil as long as you participate in it.”
“I will not do such a thing.”
“You can’t help yourself.”
“Where do you want to take me?”
“In Austria, you have family and acquaintances who will even accept an ugly countess. They hold the aristocracy in honor there and that can become a place for great evil. There is also Germany, but you don’t have any direct relations, and they don’t speak French.”
“What has that got to do with anything?”
“You speak French very well, countess. I must train you up to be an appropriate vessel for evil. You must be able to speak and interact with the people to gain their trust.”
“So you can enact your evil?”
“And you yours. You can improve your German in Austria. I see great things ahead for you there.”
“When do you plan to take this trip, and how do expect to travel with revolution all around us.”
“I could simply carry you.”
“At the expense of my soul.”
“That hasn’t bothered you much in the past, but I intend you to travel by normal means. There is the problem of the servant and of these domestic, human considerations. I don’t want to bother with all your female issues either. I have only had male masters before. They were never such a trial to me.”
Aksinya sputtered, “What if I refuse to go?”
“I told you. I will cause you suffering beyond that which you can bring to me.”
“I cause you to suffer?”
“Your human issues are painful to me. Plus your simple goodness nauseates me.”
“Do I have simple goodness? Do I have any virtue left?”
“Yes, but I will seek to expunge that from you. In time, I shall.”
“By threats and coercion?”
“You will seek evil on your own. I will simply focus your actions so they may provide the most evil. That is my purpose. Now, you will be able to travel tomorrow.”
“How do you know that?”
“You will attempt some healing sorcery tonight. Since I put the thought in your mind, you have thought continually about it. You are already eyeing your books and wondering how you can accomplish it without my knowing. When the desire and the pain becomes uncontrollable in you, you will do it.”
“I am not in pain right now.”
“You are lying.”
“I am lying.”
“You are holding it back well, but since you are clean and fed and have emptied your bladder, the pain has been growing in your legs and thighs. You wish there were something to take care of that pain. You wish me to bring you wine and drugs.”
“I could order you.”
“I would not help you. It would only deaden the pain. I wish you to suffer. That will bring you to compromise yourself. I protect you, I don’t cater to your every whim. Not if they don’t lead to evil. That’s the point, after all.”
“I’ve heard enough. Leave me.”
“Very well. I shall wait outside your room. If you require my help, just call my name. I can aid your sorcery.”
“Get out.”
The demon bowed. He backed to the door and stepped out.
Aksinya stared to throw her cup at him, then thought better of that and pitched an empty dish at him. It broke against the door with a satisfactory crash.
There is indeed more that can be done with subtlety. We will find out the demon is both subtle and direct. This is the point of temptation--it is always subtle and direct.
From a reader:
You're novel, fascinating & original. Though, was wondering, did you get the idea of demon/human dialogue, from the CS Lewis's Screwtape Letters? Regardless, brilliant, and engaging. Betcha, when completed, and polished, it will become a best seller. Thanks. I do like the Screwtape letters.
Have several Q's; unfortunately, will be a few days before I can much detail ('cause, I'm swamped at work).
Though, will quickly make a few points:
1. Really like the way you're weaved the story theme, plot & character development together; especially revealing, with the dialogue between demon & the girl. Thanks!
2. Particularly liked the bath scene; like the (authentic) setting, the description (sets mood), and way the girl (mentally) assessed herself; gives the reader a a good (subtle) sense of her locus of identity, her vulnerability, etc. Precise point and this is something that will potentially be fleshed out more in the final.
3. Very interesting/clever how you discuss her sense of loss of identify, with loss of her hair...the only redeeming characteristic that (she thinks) defined her beauty, given to the demon, as surety for contract. Clear, she's mis-guided, by focusing on the external (hair), whilst the demon is focusing on the internal (acquisition of the soul). The maturity/immaturity of Aksinya is a continuing theme.
4. BTW, I also, like the way you used the 'mirror' to allow her to catch image of herself, and characterize herself. Thanks, excellent observation.
5. Brilliant how you turned the demon into a temporary domesticated helper...getting food, drawing bathwater for her. Almost lulls you into a 'false' sense of sympathy for him, domestically caring for her...though, he makes it clear, what his agenda is, etc. That's exactly the point--we shall see how this plays out.
Must say, I was very surprised, you (the writer) were so straight forward, in having the demon directly suggest she study sorcery. I understand his motive, why, etc.
But, personally, I thought, it was a waste of a great opportunity, to further highlight the demon's cunning, and plumb the depths of the girl's character, and highlight her 1st futile (misguided, toxic) attempt to regain control her destiny, after death of her family; and horrible contract with the demon.
Kindly suggest, you consider unfolding in a more subtle extended manner; gives you a sense of the demons's cunning; perhaps, a dialogue between the girl & demon...
Say, he at the bedroom side of the door, she in the bathroom. She initiates, and engages, in dialogue with him, while concurrently pondering over her current situation, looking at her physical condition, maybe, in the mirror or bath, seeing her physical vulnerability & bruised condition again, & maybe, have a few fleeting thoughts pass through her head...highlighting her state of mind,and emotional vulnerability...maybe, have the conversation trail off....die down...than resume, different cadence, different length of dialogue,e tc.
This is an excellent observation. I thought about doing exactly this, and in the next cut, I may put this more into play. The reason I had the demon suggest sorcery to her is to tempt her to sorcery directly. This will become clear somewhat in this piece, and definitely in the next. It could perhaps be more subtle and I agree with the comments. There is a reason for the demon's suggestion...
The point is, through the dialogue, you (the reader) gets the sense that the demon clearly senses her vulnerability, her desire to control or influence her future...so he begins embarks on a elaborate or scheming dialogue with her which culminates in him (obliquely) suggesting sorcery...not directly upfront...but, rather gets her to crave after it herself....the temptation is planted by him, but, she goes after it....so, it seems like her idea, when really it's an infection from him.. Betcha it would add an interesting dimension, to the character development, and story plot.
6. Liked the way, you had the girl say a prayer, for the food brought....some subtle hint of hope, for redemption of her soul. Yes, maybe the prayer was just an unconscious habit, but, it most certainly was picked up by the demon, irritated him, and he tried to invalidate & smother it with condemnation..gives you a great clue, on the condition of her soul...though not innocent, most certainly redeemable... Again a great observation.
Well, that's a few points of feedback on your latest chapter..
But big picture, probably the two most fascinating themes, I've seen woven into your story, aside from the original 'contract with the demon', was your unfolding of the concept of the 'bounding of the demon', and, your unfolding of the idea of 'choice & consequence' that plays out, with the girl making a deliberate choice of the injury she will gets, through her interaction with the demon....but, she doesn't fully realize the ramifications, of either choice, until afterwards. We will see the demon has more bounds.
The following dialogue was particularly noteworthy:
"You trusted your body and soul to me—you have aligned yourself to a demon. Your soul was harmed, but not your body. I can protect your body, but I can’t protect your soul. You will heal—that is the way with humans.”
As well as the following:
"It already has marked your soul. Such things become like the lustful desires you already know, they are difficult to purge from your heart and mind once they are experienced.”
Alot of truth, to both; especially the second. Ah, the delights of sin are good for a season, but the consequences, can be fore a lifetime, or eternity.
Reminds me of that verse:
"What does it profit a man, if he gains the whole world, but looses his soul." This in some measure is the theme of the novel.
Here is the next installment. It doesn't get to the full endpoint of the temptation, but it moves toward it and gets to the next point--the purpose of the demon and the purpose he wishes for her. Additionally, this tells you why he mentioned sorcery while she was in the bath.
“Now, countess, let us plan what you should do. The first is that you cannot stay here.”
“I have nowhere else to go.”
“Foolish lady, we will soon run out of food to feed you and heat to sustain your puny body.”
“You can provide me all these things…”
“At the expense of your soul.”
“I thought you desired that.”
“And at the expense of my reputation. I told you, I do not wish to become your domestic.”
Aksinya laughed, “You already are.”
“I have pride, that is one of the seven deadly sins, you know.”
“So, if you are my domestic it hurts your pride?” Aksinya continued to chuckle.
“This is not funny. I am Asmodeus. I will not continue this way.”
“What can you do to stop it?”
“I will protect you and I will fulfill our contract, but I can make it exquisitely painful for you to continue in this manner.”
Aksinya’s brow rose, “How could you do that. What suffering could you bring me that I haven’t already experienced?”
“Your people and friends will be pursued by the Bolsheviks. I can bring great suffering to them—that is my purpose.”
Aksinya let her cup fall to the saucer, “You wouldn’t dare. I would simply order you to…”
“I told you. I can’t stop this revolution, and I don’t want to stop it. The lives of your friends and your people are nothing to me. You can order all you wish, but I will protect only you. My purpose, otherwise, is evil. You know this.”
“I understand this,” Aksinya ran her fingers through her short hair. She regretted that as soon as she did it. It reminded her of everything she had done already. Meekly, she whispered, “Then what do you wish me to do.”
“First, I must find you a servant.”
“If so, it must be someone you will not harm.”
Asmodeus grinned, “I have the perfect servant in mind.”
“Then what?”
“I told you, you must continue to study sorcery. To do that, you need a safe place to live and work.”
Aksinya mumbled into her teacup, “Where is such a place?”
“There are many such places. I know your mind so I know you have relatives beyond the boarders of this country. They will be willing to take you in and give you leave to live as you wish.”
“You want me to travel?”
“I wish to travel too. There are many places in the world that need more evil. Let us seek such a place.”
“So you can make it like this one?”
“That would not be so safe for you. I’ll settle for a balance of evil as long as you participate in it.”
“I will not do such a thing.”
“You can’t help yourself.”
“Where do you want to take me?”
“In Austria, you have family and acquaintances who will even accept an ugly countess. They hold the aristocracy in honor there and that can become a place for great evil. There is also Germany, but you don’t have any direct relations, and they don’t speak French.”
“What has that got to do with anything?”
“You speak French very well, countess. I must train you up to be an appropriate vessel for evil. You must be able to speak and interact with the people to gain their trust.”
“So you can enact your evil?”
“And you yours. You can improve your German in Austria. I see great things ahead for you there.”
“When do you plan to take this trip, and how do expect to travel with revolution all around us.”
“I could simply carry you.”
“At the expense of my soul.”
“That hasn’t bothered you much in the past, but I intend you to travel by normal means. There is the problem of the servant and of these domestic, human considerations. I don’t want to bother with all your female issues either. I have only had male masters before. They were never such a trial to me.”
Aksinya sputtered, “What if I refuse to go?”
“I told you. I will cause you suffering beyond that which you can bring to me.”
“I cause you to suffer?”
“Your human issues are painful to me. Plus your simple goodness nauseates me.”
“Do I have simple goodness? Do I have any virtue left?”
“Yes, but I will seek to expunge that from you. In time, I shall.”
“By threats and coercion?”
“You will seek evil on your own. I will simply focus your actions so they may provide the most evil. That is my purpose. Now, you will be able to travel tomorrow.”
“How do you know that?”
“You will attempt some healing sorcery tonight. Since I put the thought in your mind, you have thought continually about it. You are already eyeing your books and wondering how you can accomplish it without my knowing. When the desire and the pain becomes uncontrollable in you, you will do it.”
“I am not in pain right now.”
“You are lying.”
“I am lying.”
“You are holding it back well, but since you are clean and fed and have emptied your bladder, the pain has been growing in your legs and thighs. You wish there were something to take care of that pain. You wish me to bring you wine and drugs.”
“I could order you.”
“I would not help you. It would only deaden the pain. I wish you to suffer. That will bring you to compromise yourself. I protect you, I don’t cater to your every whim. Not if they don’t lead to evil. That’s the point, after all.”
“I’ve heard enough. Leave me.”
“Very well. I shall wait outside your room. If you require my help, just call my name. I can aid your sorcery.”
“Get out.”
The demon bowed. He backed to the door and stepped out.
Aksinya stared to throw her cup at him, then thought better of that and pitched an empty dish at him. It broke against the door with a satisfactory crash.
There is indeed more that can be done with subtlety. We will find out the demon is both subtle and direct. This is the point of temptation--it is always subtle and direct.
Monday, October 11, 2010
A New Novel, Part 8 More Temptation
If you haven't figured this out, I am slowly feeding you the first cut of this novel, Daemon (working title). I'm doing it on a whim because in the future, the writing will improve, and it likely won't be published for a few years anyway. I thought it would be a great project to actually show you how I write a novel. This way you will get an inside view to how one author actually writes a novel and you will get to see my creative process at close range. If this isn't interesting to you, the writing should be. I aim for fun and exciting novels. I do hope you will enjoy these postings for one or the other reason. You also get a free read. I plan for a 100K word novel, so you will have a lot to sink your teeth into. Right now, I have the whole novel blocked out in scenes in my mind and my little notebook. My notes are what I write to. When I am thinking about the novel, I jot down the ideas for the scenes and pithy pieces of conversation between the characters. These notes provide a broad outline for the writing of the novel. I don't detail every bit of every scene, and I don't specify every scene, I just have broad notes to guide the writing. Many transition scenes must be added into the novel to move to the appropriate large and important scenes, but that doesn't make the transition scenes of any less importance or entertainment value.
To catch you up a little, Aksinya called and contracted the demon Asmodeus. She did it to save her family from the Bolsheviks during the Russian Revolution. She was too late and her family was murdered. She was injured through her interaction with the demon and is demoralized by her failure. The demon has become her domestic for the moment and drew her a bath. She has problems walking now because her legs were injured.
Aksinya went to the bath. By the way, the date is November 1918 and the place is a Russian country estate. They do not have indoor plumbing. They do have tubs and baths.
The tub was high and filled with hot water. She gazed longingly at it and made her way to the side. She felt it to make certain it wasn’t too hot and with the staff climbed over the side and into the water. This was marvelous. For a moment, she felt better than she had in what seemed a long long time. That’s when hunger began to gnaw at her. She was so upset and uncomfortable before she hadn’t noticed it. Now her hunger took her, and like she usually did when she was uncomfortable, she sought something to take her attention away.
Aksinya examined her body. She was undeveloped. That was so obvious in the bath. Her legs and thighs were still bruised, but they were healing. The black and blue marks on her skin were turning an ugly brown. They were going away. She moved her legs. In the warm water they moved more easily than before. She touched herself. They were still painful, but it was less than before. She moved her hands up her torso. Her breasts were nothing like her mother’s or her sister’s. She lingered there for a moment then moved them more quickly before those thoughts came again and touched her face. It wasn’t beautiful. The demon was right. She wasn’t even pretty. Her mother said in time she would gain a degree of beauty, but Aksinya knew that was pity. She was afraid to look at herself after she had given most of her hair to the demon. It was short now and fell to her ears. It was likely ugly as her face now. It had been her only redeeming characteristic before she cut it off. Now she could feel the uneven ends, and she wondered if it would ever grow out again—she had given it to the demon, after all. Finally, she called out, “Asmodeus.”
His voice came from just outside the door, “Yes, countess.”
“Why do you call me that?”
“Because it is true. Your family is dead, you are the countess now.”
“I don’t like you to call me that.”
“Then I shall continue to use it.”
She gritted her teeth, “Why did my legs become so injured when you took me here?”
“I thought I explained that to you before.”
“I didn’t understand it then. Give the a better explanation.”
“Any explanation or the truth?”
“Tell me the truth you horrible creature.”
Asmodeus laughed, “When you took my hand, you reached out to me. I carried you through stone and earth and then we traveled through the cosmos to arrive at the front of your house. Since you didn’t trust your body and soul to me, your body endured that travel. What did you think would happen if you went through stone and earth and the cosmos?”
“But when you carried me, I wasn’t injured.”
“You trusted your body and soul to me—you have aligned yourself to a demon. Your soul was harmed, but not your body. I can protect your body, but I can’t protect your soul. You will heal—that is the way with humans.”
Aksinya thought a bit more.
Asmodeus voice boomed from behind the door again, “You are hungry. You will not heal or survive long without sustenance.”
“I can’t prepare food for myself. I can barely get around my own room.”
“Then I must prepare it for you. I did not agree to become your domestic. We must fix this situation before we continue too far.”
Aksinya laughed at him, “How do you propose to do that demon?”
“I must find you a servant to take care of your needs. Obviously, you don’t want me to have to dress and undress you. You are as vain as any woman. I grow weary with taking care of these human needs.”
Aksinya laughed again, “For now get me some food and place it in my room.”
Asmodeus growled, but Aksinya heard him move in her room.
In a while, the bath became cool. Aksinya let the water out and picked up her staff. She levered herself out of the deep tub and stood shakily on the cold floor. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and turned her head. She looked pale and her face was pinched. It showed her pain and looked haggard. Her hair was as ugly as everything else.
She toweled herself off as well as she could and wrapped it tightly around her body. Then she unlocked the door and peeked into her room. The demon had not returned yet. She took another nightgown from her wardrobe. This was her winter gown. It was wool. She put it on and though scratchy after the smooth cotton of her other one, she felt much better and finally clean.
She got back into bed and laid the staff next to her.
Asmodeus came through the door with a service in his hands. He put the tray in front of her on the bed. It held a hot pot of tea. He poured it for her and lifted the covers from the dishes. The smell of the food overwhelmed her senses. He had made her an omelet and bread. Everything was fresh. She prayed and crossed herself.
The demon made a depreciating sound, “To bless that which was made with a curse is perhaps the act of a fool.”
Aksinya ignored his comment and began to eat.
She ate almost everything he brought her. Then she settled back on her pillows, “Thank you demon. I feel much better.”
“You needn’t thank me, you gave up part of the virtue of your soul and your life to gain that repast.”
“I understand that, but I needed to eat.”
“These human needs…”
“Don’t you eat?”
“Never. I have no need. I have no human needs and no human desires. My only desire comes from our contract and from my desire to do evil.”
“It is not evil to prepare good food or to take care of my needs.”
“It is evil for you to use your soul and life to get them.”
She looked over her cup, “Perhaps.”
“Now,” Asmodeus sneered, “since your human needs are assuaged, it is time to plan. What do you intend to do?”
“I only thought to save my family. Now, I don’t know what to do. You tell me, you can’t or will not help me fight the Bolsheviks. You tell me, you won’t help me fight this revolution…”
“I like revolutions. The evil it brings to the world is pleasant to me.”
“I have no other plans.”
“You must survive. Whether you accomplish the desires of your heart are beyond my understanding or care, but for our contract, you must survive.”
“The desires of my heart…I had but one desire and that is dust and ashes.”
“Then perhaps you will meet my desires.”
Aksinya’s lip curled up, “Your desires are the least of my concern.”
“But your desires are mine. Especially those that are evil and that continue to abrade your soul.”
Aksinya glowered at him, “What would that be?”
“I wish you to continue with your study of sorcery. That is certainly evil.”
“I have no purpose for it anymore.”
“You put years of study into it, and you are very adept. The fact you called and contracted me are the evidence of that.”
“I did not intend to give it up.”
“I thought so. It already has marked your soul. Such things become like the lustful desires you already know, they are difficult to purge from your heart and mind once they are experienced.”
“Shut up! You may know my mind, but you needn’t say such embarrassing things.”
“It is like all human desires. It is what makes you human,” his lip curled up over his fangs. “Humans are so disgusting.”
Aksinya sipped her tea and ignored him.
So you can see the point of the demon's temptation. He wishes to encourage her use of sorcery, of magic. He sees this as a simple means to tempt her. We shall see that this is his primary means to get her to sin. If you remember, demons lie, you will be able to gain an understanding of how the demon works his own magic of temptation. His other powers of persuasion will become evident later. You may have already noted them. He is playing good cop/bad cop for here right now. He provides her needs while encouraging her to his own ends. Note his desire to plan for her future. He wishes to plan for the purpose of increasing the evil she will do. This is very important. Another point of interest is the purpose of evil. The demon specifically told her that the evil of the revolution was pleasant to him. The impression is that there is enough evil to go around in Russia right now. The demon sees more purpose in Aksinya moving from the evil of Russia to another venue. Will will soon see where and what that new venue is.
To catch you up a little, Aksinya called and contracted the demon Asmodeus. She did it to save her family from the Bolsheviks during the Russian Revolution. She was too late and her family was murdered. She was injured through her interaction with the demon and is demoralized by her failure. The demon has become her domestic for the moment and drew her a bath. She has problems walking now because her legs were injured.
Aksinya went to the bath. By the way, the date is November 1918 and the place is a Russian country estate. They do not have indoor plumbing. They do have tubs and baths.
The tub was high and filled with hot water. She gazed longingly at it and made her way to the side. She felt it to make certain it wasn’t too hot and with the staff climbed over the side and into the water. This was marvelous. For a moment, she felt better than she had in what seemed a long long time. That’s when hunger began to gnaw at her. She was so upset and uncomfortable before she hadn’t noticed it. Now her hunger took her, and like she usually did when she was uncomfortable, she sought something to take her attention away.
Aksinya examined her body. She was undeveloped. That was so obvious in the bath. Her legs and thighs were still bruised, but they were healing. The black and blue marks on her skin were turning an ugly brown. They were going away. She moved her legs. In the warm water they moved more easily than before. She touched herself. They were still painful, but it was less than before. She moved her hands up her torso. Her breasts were nothing like her mother’s or her sister’s. She lingered there for a moment then moved them more quickly before those thoughts came again and touched her face. It wasn’t beautiful. The demon was right. She wasn’t even pretty. Her mother said in time she would gain a degree of beauty, but Aksinya knew that was pity. She was afraid to look at herself after she had given most of her hair to the demon. It was short now and fell to her ears. It was likely ugly as her face now. It had been her only redeeming characteristic before she cut it off. Now she could feel the uneven ends, and she wondered if it would ever grow out again—she had given it to the demon, after all. Finally, she called out, “Asmodeus.”
His voice came from just outside the door, “Yes, countess.”
“Why do you call me that?”
“Because it is true. Your family is dead, you are the countess now.”
“I don’t like you to call me that.”
“Then I shall continue to use it.”
She gritted her teeth, “Why did my legs become so injured when you took me here?”
“I thought I explained that to you before.”
“I didn’t understand it then. Give the a better explanation.”
“Any explanation or the truth?”
“Tell me the truth you horrible creature.”
Asmodeus laughed, “When you took my hand, you reached out to me. I carried you through stone and earth and then we traveled through the cosmos to arrive at the front of your house. Since you didn’t trust your body and soul to me, your body endured that travel. What did you think would happen if you went through stone and earth and the cosmos?”
“But when you carried me, I wasn’t injured.”
“You trusted your body and soul to me—you have aligned yourself to a demon. Your soul was harmed, but not your body. I can protect your body, but I can’t protect your soul. You will heal—that is the way with humans.”
Aksinya thought a bit more.
Asmodeus voice boomed from behind the door again, “You are hungry. You will not heal or survive long without sustenance.”
“I can’t prepare food for myself. I can barely get around my own room.”
“Then I must prepare it for you. I did not agree to become your domestic. We must fix this situation before we continue too far.”
Aksinya laughed at him, “How do you propose to do that demon?”
“I must find you a servant to take care of your needs. Obviously, you don’t want me to have to dress and undress you. You are as vain as any woman. I grow weary with taking care of these human needs.”
Aksinya laughed again, “For now get me some food and place it in my room.”
Asmodeus growled, but Aksinya heard him move in her room.
In a while, the bath became cool. Aksinya let the water out and picked up her staff. She levered herself out of the deep tub and stood shakily on the cold floor. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and turned her head. She looked pale and her face was pinched. It showed her pain and looked haggard. Her hair was as ugly as everything else.
She toweled herself off as well as she could and wrapped it tightly around her body. Then she unlocked the door and peeked into her room. The demon had not returned yet. She took another nightgown from her wardrobe. This was her winter gown. It was wool. She put it on and though scratchy after the smooth cotton of her other one, she felt much better and finally clean.
She got back into bed and laid the staff next to her.
Asmodeus came through the door with a service in his hands. He put the tray in front of her on the bed. It held a hot pot of tea. He poured it for her and lifted the covers from the dishes. The smell of the food overwhelmed her senses. He had made her an omelet and bread. Everything was fresh. She prayed and crossed herself.
The demon made a depreciating sound, “To bless that which was made with a curse is perhaps the act of a fool.”
Aksinya ignored his comment and began to eat.
She ate almost everything he brought her. Then she settled back on her pillows, “Thank you demon. I feel much better.”
“You needn’t thank me, you gave up part of the virtue of your soul and your life to gain that repast.”
“I understand that, but I needed to eat.”
“These human needs…”
“Don’t you eat?”
“Never. I have no need. I have no human needs and no human desires. My only desire comes from our contract and from my desire to do evil.”
“It is not evil to prepare good food or to take care of my needs.”
“It is evil for you to use your soul and life to get them.”
She looked over her cup, “Perhaps.”
“Now,” Asmodeus sneered, “since your human needs are assuaged, it is time to plan. What do you intend to do?”
“I only thought to save my family. Now, I don’t know what to do. You tell me, you can’t or will not help me fight the Bolsheviks. You tell me, you won’t help me fight this revolution…”
“I like revolutions. The evil it brings to the world is pleasant to me.”
“I have no other plans.”
“You must survive. Whether you accomplish the desires of your heart are beyond my understanding or care, but for our contract, you must survive.”
“The desires of my heart…I had but one desire and that is dust and ashes.”
“Then perhaps you will meet my desires.”
Aksinya’s lip curled up, “Your desires are the least of my concern.”
“But your desires are mine. Especially those that are evil and that continue to abrade your soul.”
Aksinya glowered at him, “What would that be?”
“I wish you to continue with your study of sorcery. That is certainly evil.”
“I have no purpose for it anymore.”
“You put years of study into it, and you are very adept. The fact you called and contracted me are the evidence of that.”
“I did not intend to give it up.”
“I thought so. It already has marked your soul. Such things become like the lustful desires you already know, they are difficult to purge from your heart and mind once they are experienced.”
“Shut up! You may know my mind, but you needn’t say such embarrassing things.”
“It is like all human desires. It is what makes you human,” his lip curled up over his fangs. “Humans are so disgusting.”
Aksinya sipped her tea and ignored him.
So you can see the point of the demon's temptation. He wishes to encourage her use of sorcery, of magic. He sees this as a simple means to tempt her. We shall see that this is his primary means to get her to sin. If you remember, demons lie, you will be able to gain an understanding of how the demon works his own magic of temptation. His other powers of persuasion will become evident later. You may have already noted them. He is playing good cop/bad cop for here right now. He provides her needs while encouraging her to his own ends. Note his desire to plan for her future. He wishes to plan for the purpose of increasing the evil she will do. This is very important. Another point of interest is the purpose of evil. The demon specifically told her that the evil of the revolution was pleasant to him. The impression is that there is enough evil to go around in Russia right now. The demon sees more purpose in Aksinya moving from the evil of Russia to another venue. Will will soon see where and what that new venue is.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
A New Novel, Part 7 Temptation
The demon, Asmodeus and the young woman, now, Countess Aksinya. They are contracted to one another. In the last installment, we saw more bounds set on the demon. Primarily, we saw the requirements of the contract and additionally the price that must be paid by Aksinya. She was injured because she chose one and not the other. She chose to touch the demon, therefore at injury to her body rather than to allow the demon to touch her at injury to her soul.
Then we also saw the excruciating tragedy of the entire novel--Aksinya called forth a demon to protect her family, but her family was murdered by the Bolsheviks. She traded her soul for dust.
The final action in the second scene, Aksinya sent the demon to enact her revenge against those who murdered her family. She stayed in her bed. I am not certain if I will include this next scene in the novel. I want to, but it is a little risque. The point of the scene is to detail the injury to Aksinya and allow the demon to tempt her to heal herself. His plan is to embarrass her and to get her to eventually resort to sorcery for healing. So the next scene--beginning of the second chapter:
The Lady, now Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna hobbled toward the outhouse just behind the family quarters. She originally pulled out the chamber pot under her bed, but she realized there was no one to empty it anymore. Disposing of human bodies seemed fitting for the demon—disposing of her own waste was unimaginable to her. Her legs were improving, but they were still bruised. She used her staff. It was a long knurled piece of yew. Unusual because yew usually grew straight. She prepared it herself for the work she found in her books. It was a sufficient tool for that work and for this. She still wore her nightgown. It was frilly and cotton, but not too thin. It was insufficient for the cold house and completely inappropriate for a trek to the outhouse. Cloaks stayed on the wall just outside the door into the enclosed walkway that led to the outhouse, but she didn’t have the energy or the time to don one. She was in such a hurry, she hadn’t put on her shoes and the floor was freezing.
Aksinya was shivering, and she almost reached the outhouse when she heard the door open and shut behind her. Aksinya whirled around and lost her balance. Just before she fell, a black shadow rushed from the door to her. At the last moment, she recognized Asmodeus as he caught her. But it was too late. She couldn’t hold it any more. She sat in his hot, black arms in a now sodden nightgown. She tired to stand and couldn’t. She tried to push him away but couldn’t. Finally, in frustration, she cried, “Let go of me. Look what you made me do.”
“I have done your bidding, mistress. What you do you wish now?”
“I wanted to use the outhouse, but now there is no need.”
“Humanity is disgusting. Well there is nothing else to do.”
He picked her up in spite of her protests and carried her back to her room. When he arrived he asked, “Do you wish me to help you with your clothing?”
“Prepare me a bath.”
“You are freezing.”
“Prepare me a bath.”
“You are an idiot.” The demon yanked the wet nightgown over her head and wrapped a blanket around her.
Aksinya blushed, “Don’t ever do that again.”
“I don’t intend to, but I can’t allow harm come to you. You are making things extremely difficult for me.”
“And you for me.”
“Wait here, and I will prepare your bath. I never expected to become a domestic servant.”
“You wouldn’t if you had come sooner.”
“If you had called me sooner, Countess, for that is what you are. All this misery is your doing and not mine.”
The demon entered the bath and Aksinya glared at him the entire time. After a while, he came back out and stepped to her side. Aksinya moved away from him, “Don’t touch me. Get my staff.”
Asmodeus returned with it. Aksinya still glared at him, “Can you heal my injuries? The ones you caused?”
“I can’t heal. Only that guy can do that.”
“Sorcery can heal.”
Asmodeus smiled, “Perhaps you should try that then.”
Aksinya levered herself up and headed for the bath. Before she took a few steps, she had lost the blanket. She ignored that and continued into the bath. Inside, she closed and locked the door. She just ignored the door on the other side. She didn’t have the strength to hobble over to it and lock it.
So, you see Aksinya's embarrassment and her desire to be uninjured again. The demon just planted in her mind the idea that she should use sorcery to heal herself. This will become the motive for every incident the remainder of the novel. The demon's desire is for Aksinya to sin. Aksinya's desire is to not continue to sin. He uses her weaknesses against her to convince her to act as he desires. Perhaps I gave too much information at the beginning. I need to work on this scene a little more. I'll give you the rest of it next time.
Then we also saw the excruciating tragedy of the entire novel--Aksinya called forth a demon to protect her family, but her family was murdered by the Bolsheviks. She traded her soul for dust.
The final action in the second scene, Aksinya sent the demon to enact her revenge against those who murdered her family. She stayed in her bed. I am not certain if I will include this next scene in the novel. I want to, but it is a little risque. The point of the scene is to detail the injury to Aksinya and allow the demon to tempt her to heal herself. His plan is to embarrass her and to get her to eventually resort to sorcery for healing. So the next scene--beginning of the second chapter:
The Lady, now Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna hobbled toward the outhouse just behind the family quarters. She originally pulled out the chamber pot under her bed, but she realized there was no one to empty it anymore. Disposing of human bodies seemed fitting for the demon—disposing of her own waste was unimaginable to her. Her legs were improving, but they were still bruised. She used her staff. It was a long knurled piece of yew. Unusual because yew usually grew straight. She prepared it herself for the work she found in her books. It was a sufficient tool for that work and for this. She still wore her nightgown. It was frilly and cotton, but not too thin. It was insufficient for the cold house and completely inappropriate for a trek to the outhouse. Cloaks stayed on the wall just outside the door into the enclosed walkway that led to the outhouse, but she didn’t have the energy or the time to don one. She was in such a hurry, she hadn’t put on her shoes and the floor was freezing.
Aksinya was shivering, and she almost reached the outhouse when she heard the door open and shut behind her. Aksinya whirled around and lost her balance. Just before she fell, a black shadow rushed from the door to her. At the last moment, she recognized Asmodeus as he caught her. But it was too late. She couldn’t hold it any more. She sat in his hot, black arms in a now sodden nightgown. She tired to stand and couldn’t. She tried to push him away but couldn’t. Finally, in frustration, she cried, “Let go of me. Look what you made me do.”
“I have done your bidding, mistress. What you do you wish now?”
“I wanted to use the outhouse, but now there is no need.”
“Humanity is disgusting. Well there is nothing else to do.”
He picked her up in spite of her protests and carried her back to her room. When he arrived he asked, “Do you wish me to help you with your clothing?”
“Prepare me a bath.”
“You are freezing.”
“Prepare me a bath.”
“You are an idiot.” The demon yanked the wet nightgown over her head and wrapped a blanket around her.
Aksinya blushed, “Don’t ever do that again.”
“I don’t intend to, but I can’t allow harm come to you. You are making things extremely difficult for me.”
“And you for me.”
“Wait here, and I will prepare your bath. I never expected to become a domestic servant.”
“You wouldn’t if you had come sooner.”
“If you had called me sooner, Countess, for that is what you are. All this misery is your doing and not mine.”
The demon entered the bath and Aksinya glared at him the entire time. After a while, he came back out and stepped to her side. Aksinya moved away from him, “Don’t touch me. Get my staff.”
Asmodeus returned with it. Aksinya still glared at him, “Can you heal my injuries? The ones you caused?”
“I can’t heal. Only that guy can do that.”
“Sorcery can heal.”
Asmodeus smiled, “Perhaps you should try that then.”
Aksinya levered herself up and headed for the bath. Before she took a few steps, she had lost the blanket. She ignored that and continued into the bath. Inside, she closed and locked the door. She just ignored the door on the other side. She didn’t have the strength to hobble over to it and lock it.
So, you see Aksinya's embarrassment and her desire to be uninjured again. The demon just planted in her mind the idea that she should use sorcery to heal herself. This will become the motive for every incident the remainder of the novel. The demon's desire is for Aksinya to sin. Aksinya's desire is to not continue to sin. He uses her weaknesses against her to convince her to act as he desires. Perhaps I gave too much information at the beginning. I need to work on this scene a little more. I'll give you the rest of it next time.
Friday, October 8, 2010
A New Novel, Part 6 Scene 2 How's that Demon
The next scene and the transition. I am writing a new novel called Daemon (working title). I already gave the descriptions of the demon and the Lady Aksinya. Then we saw their initial conversation together. Now we get the rest of their conversation and the transition to the next scene. For one of my readers who asked: is there a difference between a demon and a daemon? The answer is--no. Daemon is a variant spelling. I like to use them, just because. See the explanation on why I titled Aegypt as Aegypt in my writing secrets at www.ldalford.com --now to the text. They are still in the cellar and she has just contracted the demon:
The demon gave a laugh, “There is my surety, Lady Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna. Are you sure you are not a child?”
“How do you know my name?”
“Lady, I know everything about you now.”
“Then you know I am of age…”
“Seventeen, a virgin and never kissed. All your secrets. I know what you do every night and what you think...”
“Shut up, demon. I have work for you to do.”
“Work already? I thought so. You do know what it means when I work for you—don’t you?”
“Yes, I know what it means, Asmodeus.”
“Then make me work and make me work hard, for every moment of work I do for you shortens your life and brings me closer to the time when I shall be free of you.”
“Then, if you know my mind, you know what I have for you to do.”
The demon stood tall with his arms across his chest, “You have to say them. Plus, it will do you no good.”
Aksinya squinted her eyes, “Why will it do no good?”
The demon pursed his lips and stood silent.
Aksinya’s lip curled up, “If you know my mind, then take me to the house and protect my family.”
Asmodeus tendered her a sly smile, “I shall, my lady. Shall I touch you or will you touch me?”
“What do you mean?”
“If you wish to travel with me, one or the other must touch. I give you the choice.”
“What difference does it make?”
“That you will soon find out.”
“Curse you, demon…”
“You are too late.”
“Then tell me, which is better for me?”
“It is always better for your body if you ask me to touch you, but it is better for your soul if you touch me.”
“Very well,” Aksinya grabbed the demon’s arm.
The world swirled in darkness. Aksinya was dizzy and she felt herself raise up and away from the earth. They moved through earth and stone and then air. The night was as dark as her cellar. The air was colder. Aksinya felt a pain in her legs that spread to her hips. She felt as though she had run miles and miles and she was still running. Her breath came in gasps. Then they were at the front door to her house. It was a mansion. Her father’s house. It was large and beautiful. It was the most beautiful building for over a hundred miles around. Her father’s family had kept it for generations and generations. A large white stone drive wound up to the front and circled statues and lawn. And all around the drive were what looked like fallen statues. They were pale and still. They were statues dress in finery. Beneath them spread dark stains.
The moment her feet touched the ground, Aksinya collapsed to the stone. She lay there unable to breath. Slowly, slowly, she raised up her body. She couldn’t move her legs. They burned. The locket at her breast felt as though it sizzled with heat. She gazed across the drive and her mouth opened—not a sound came out. She could not speak. She could only lay there and stare.
Asmodeus picked his teeth, “You were a bit too late, little girl. So you called me to save them, but you were too late, and now you are marked for hell.”
“Shut up, demon.”
“Is that your brother over there? I think I recognize his clothing. That is certainly your mother and your sister. They didn’t take the time to ravish them—unfortunate, but that should make you feel better.”
“I can’t stand.”
“I told you if I touched you it would be better for your body.”
“What happened to me?”
“If you rest in the bosom of the devil, your body will be protected, but your soul will be eaten away. If you choose to come with me, your body is affected by the world we pass through.”
“Pick me up, demon.”
“Do you know what you ask?”
“Pick me up. I cannot walk. I wish to see them.”
Asmodeus picked her up in his arms. He was unusually gentle. He smelled of myrrh and sulfur. His skin was hot and dry. In the cold evening, it felt comforting to Aksinya like sitting close to a warm fireplace.
“Take me to my father.”
The demon walked to a body cast down on the drive. The man’s coat had been removed. His shirt was dark with blood. Asmodeus tightened his grip, “I would not look at his face. They shot him there. It is your father Count Andrei Golitsyna. He is dead.”
“Why should I believe you? You are used to lying. It is a habit with you.”
“But I can’t lie to you, my lady.”
“I wish to see my mother.”
The demon carried her to where a woman lay. A young woman held her hand. They both didn’t move.
Aksinya’s voice sounded emotionless to her, “Is anyone alive?”
“No, my lady, they are all dead.”
“Do you swear?”
“I cannot swear. I can only tell you the truth.”
“I wish to kiss my mother and my sister and my brother. Roll them over and take me close to them.”
The demon gently rolled each of the bodies over and moved them close to one another. He let Aksinya down near their heads. She touched the face of each and kissed them. Aksinya didn’t look at Asmodeus, “Bring my father here and put him beside them.”
“I told you before.”
“Do it.”
“Yes, mistress.”
Aksinya didn’t look at her father’s face. She took his hand and kissed it. She still didn’t look at Asmodeus, “Bring the others. My maid and my governess, the priest. Place them where I can touch them.”
The demon collected their bodies and put them near Aksinya. She touched their cheeks and kissed them each in farewell.
The demon stood across from her, “You have not cried a single tear for them?”
“Is that so odd?”
“Already your soul becomes mine. I cannot weep for anyone or anything either.”
“Why should I shed a tear for those I cannot help? The time for tears is well past. The time for revenge is at hand.”
“It will not bring back your family or your friends.”
“But it will ease my soul. Why would you dissuade me from it Demon?”
Asmodeus blinked.
“This is my order to you. Those that killed my family and these servants. Find them and kill them. Return with their bodies and place them before me.”
“You are truly a fine mistress. Already I am called to death and destruction. Hell will welcome you.”
“Enough of your lip. Go now.”
Asmodeus bowed. The darkness shimmered for a moment, then he was gone. The locket at Aksinya’s breast began to burn.
Aksinya began to pray. She cried out the Greek prayers her priest had taught her so painstakingly. She cried them to the night, but her eyes were tearless, and she wasn’t certain if her words reached anywhere near the heavens.
So this scene transitions and we see more bounds set on the demon. Primarily, we see the requirements of the contract and additionally the price that must be paid by Aksinya.
Here is also the excruciating tragedy of the entire novel--Aksinya called forth a demon to protect her family, but her family was killed. She traded her soul for dust.
The demon gave a laugh, “There is my surety, Lady Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna. Are you sure you are not a child?”
“How do you know my name?”
“Lady, I know everything about you now.”
“Then you know I am of age…”
“Seventeen, a virgin and never kissed. All your secrets. I know what you do every night and what you think...”
“Shut up, demon. I have work for you to do.”
“Work already? I thought so. You do know what it means when I work for you—don’t you?”
“Yes, I know what it means, Asmodeus.”
“Then make me work and make me work hard, for every moment of work I do for you shortens your life and brings me closer to the time when I shall be free of you.”
“Then, if you know my mind, you know what I have for you to do.”
The demon stood tall with his arms across his chest, “You have to say them. Plus, it will do you no good.”
Aksinya squinted her eyes, “Why will it do no good?”
The demon pursed his lips and stood silent.
Aksinya’s lip curled up, “If you know my mind, then take me to the house and protect my family.”
Asmodeus tendered her a sly smile, “I shall, my lady. Shall I touch you or will you touch me?”
“What do you mean?”
“If you wish to travel with me, one or the other must touch. I give you the choice.”
“What difference does it make?”
“That you will soon find out.”
“Curse you, demon…”
“You are too late.”
“Then tell me, which is better for me?”
“It is always better for your body if you ask me to touch you, but it is better for your soul if you touch me.”
“Very well,” Aksinya grabbed the demon’s arm.
The world swirled in darkness. Aksinya was dizzy and she felt herself raise up and away from the earth. They moved through earth and stone and then air. The night was as dark as her cellar. The air was colder. Aksinya felt a pain in her legs that spread to her hips. She felt as though she had run miles and miles and she was still running. Her breath came in gasps. Then they were at the front door to her house. It was a mansion. Her father’s house. It was large and beautiful. It was the most beautiful building for over a hundred miles around. Her father’s family had kept it for generations and generations. A large white stone drive wound up to the front and circled statues and lawn. And all around the drive were what looked like fallen statues. They were pale and still. They were statues dress in finery. Beneath them spread dark stains.
The moment her feet touched the ground, Aksinya collapsed to the stone. She lay there unable to breath. Slowly, slowly, she raised up her body. She couldn’t move her legs. They burned. The locket at her breast felt as though it sizzled with heat. She gazed across the drive and her mouth opened—not a sound came out. She could not speak. She could only lay there and stare.
Asmodeus picked his teeth, “You were a bit too late, little girl. So you called me to save them, but you were too late, and now you are marked for hell.”
“Shut up, demon.”
“Is that your brother over there? I think I recognize his clothing. That is certainly your mother and your sister. They didn’t take the time to ravish them—unfortunate, but that should make you feel better.”
“I can’t stand.”
“I told you if I touched you it would be better for your body.”
“What happened to me?”
“If you rest in the bosom of the devil, your body will be protected, but your soul will be eaten away. If you choose to come with me, your body is affected by the world we pass through.”
“Pick me up, demon.”
“Do you know what you ask?”
“Pick me up. I cannot walk. I wish to see them.”
Asmodeus picked her up in his arms. He was unusually gentle. He smelled of myrrh and sulfur. His skin was hot and dry. In the cold evening, it felt comforting to Aksinya like sitting close to a warm fireplace.
“Take me to my father.”
The demon walked to a body cast down on the drive. The man’s coat had been removed. His shirt was dark with blood. Asmodeus tightened his grip, “I would not look at his face. They shot him there. It is your father Count Andrei Golitsyna. He is dead.”
“Why should I believe you? You are used to lying. It is a habit with you.”
“But I can’t lie to you, my lady.”
“I wish to see my mother.”
The demon carried her to where a woman lay. A young woman held her hand. They both didn’t move.
Aksinya’s voice sounded emotionless to her, “Is anyone alive?”
“No, my lady, they are all dead.”
“Do you swear?”
“I cannot swear. I can only tell you the truth.”
“I wish to kiss my mother and my sister and my brother. Roll them over and take me close to them.”
The demon gently rolled each of the bodies over and moved them close to one another. He let Aksinya down near their heads. She touched the face of each and kissed them. Aksinya didn’t look at Asmodeus, “Bring my father here and put him beside them.”
“I told you before.”
“Do it.”
“Yes, mistress.”
Aksinya didn’t look at her father’s face. She took his hand and kissed it. She still didn’t look at Asmodeus, “Bring the others. My maid and my governess, the priest. Place them where I can touch them.”
The demon collected their bodies and put them near Aksinya. She touched their cheeks and kissed them each in farewell.
The demon stood across from her, “You have not cried a single tear for them?”
“Is that so odd?”
“Already your soul becomes mine. I cannot weep for anyone or anything either.”
“Why should I shed a tear for those I cannot help? The time for tears is well past. The time for revenge is at hand.”
“It will not bring back your family or your friends.”
“But it will ease my soul. Why would you dissuade me from it Demon?”
Asmodeus blinked.
“This is my order to you. Those that killed my family and these servants. Find them and kill them. Return with their bodies and place them before me.”
“You are truly a fine mistress. Already I am called to death and destruction. Hell will welcome you.”
“Enough of your lip. Go now.”
Asmodeus bowed. The darkness shimmered for a moment, then he was gone. The locket at Aksinya’s breast began to burn.
Aksinya began to pray. She cried out the Greek prayers her priest had taught her so painstakingly. She cried them to the night, but her eyes were tearless, and she wasn’t certain if her words reached anywhere near the heavens.
So this scene transitions and we see more bounds set on the demon. Primarily, we see the requirements of the contract and additionally the price that must be paid by Aksinya.
Here is also the excruciating tragedy of the entire novel--Aksinya called forth a demon to protect her family, but her family was killed. She traded her soul for dust.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
A New Novel, Part 5 Answers and Bounding a Demon
Today I will answer some questions and bring up more. I decided to make some specific revelations because...by the time this book comes out:
1. It will be slightly different than what I am presenting here.
2. That will be about 4 or 5 years (unless I have a best seller)--that's just the book business, and by then you will forget about these details.
3. Some are revealed later in the text.
4. I'll put some in my "secrets" section of the website for the book.
First revelation: Asmodeus us the Demon of Lust. If you didn't google it already. Asmodeus is associated with lust, actually luxuria, which in Latin means unrestrained excess. Extravagant behaviour includes the frequent purchase of luxury goods and forms of debauchery. Aksinya was able to call the demon of luxuria because that is her problem. She specifically has a problem with lust, as we shall see. Her lust is a little different also as we shall see.
Here are some questions and comments from a reader of this blog about yesterday's posting. I'll address them in italics:
"I read installment #4 today. Nice writing; clever, subtle & very provocative. I looked at it at multiple levels; and, first I'll describe the thoughts that went thru my mind, than, I'll ask you specific questions:
1. Physical description of demon & girl...hints of sexuality, contrast between the two; contrasting description loaded, not to be under-estimated. Great observation, this is the point of both. Aksinya has her problems and the demon has his characteristics.
2. Physical dialogue btwn demon & girl...hints of sexuality, authority, contract issues, assurance of age of accountability. Brilliant...demon wants to be assured, girl will be held accountable for her soul. Another revelation: in Jewish thought a girl is a woman at 12 with pubic hair (a boy at 13 with pubic hair). This comes from the Genesis account where God clothes them with animal hair when he expells them. Hebrew thought is that pubic hair is this covering--therefore a person is an adult (accountable) when they have pubic hair and sufficient age. This is the question the demon wants to know. If she is not accountable as an adult, he can't contract with her. This also has an important point with the bounding of a demon. The question is this, what bounds must a demon have? The answer is critical. A demon must have bounds. Immediately we see some. I'll address others below.
3. Physical features: the room, the pentagram, the metaphors; nice. Thanks.
4. Demon's name: excellent hints, if word study undertaken by reader; alot of insight there for folks who take the time to research. Very astute. As noted above.
5. Girl's name & Russian pedigree: excellent hints, if word study undertaken by reader; spoke of that, in last posting. We will later discover Aksinya's mother is the Princess Nina Vladimirovna Golitsyna, nee Bockmann, killed by the Bolsheviks on 19 February 1918. I'm moving the story time to November 1918 to get it past the end of WWI. So the person is real, but the incidents of that person's life are not. Note, she is a nee Bockmann. That will play a critical role later in the novel.
6. Description of the contract, exchange objects; and girl's & demon's reactions to each other's objects, and nuanced change in authority...very interesting. We will find it is all a game to the demon--he almost always lies.
7. Also noticed, with interest, the multiple techniques you employed...switching from description to dialogue to elements of tension.....with demon pacing around the circle. ..dialoguing w/, as well as probing the girl...the eminent (time) threat..of him getting to the girl & her soul...if they didn't get a contract worked out...before candles burning down. That theme, of the demon probing the girl...physically, emotionally & intellectually...very, very impressive.
The demon's comment about the magic circle, we will find later is partially a lie. He has problems with magic circles of all kinds--part of his bounding, but of course Aksinya doesn't know that right now--neither does the reader. This entire description takes elements that are familiar to most Western readers and puts it in a very different perspective. We are like the demon, surprised that a young woman called him. And we are equally wondering how that young woman will win out over a demon.
8. Also, looked at the cadence of the exchange, & (internal) conflict you built up....with the description, the verbal exchange, the length, the rhythm, and the resolution....after contract reached...but, above all...the clear hint of sexuality. Very clear, the demon is simply 'biding' his time...certainly, calling her master (full title, etc.), but, awaiting his opportunity...to monitor, find his opportunity, nurture it, & claim her soul. The fullness of Asmodeus power or temptation isn't evident yet. We will see that he is very, very unscrupulous and all he wishes to do is claim her soul--still there are rules for him, he is bounded.
Would be mighty interested, if you'd care to elaborate on any of the items 1-8, in your writing. More precisely, elaborate on little techniques you used to firmly establish the linkage between theme, plot, storyline, character development, environment, tension....and, most importantly, hint at forthcoming conflict..based on items discussed in item 1-8. The point in this initial meeting is to give enough information to put the reader into suspense and enough to introduce the characters. I told you more than you should or might know (although you can look it up) about Asmodeus. You might guess that he is a demon of lust and from Aksinya's reaction, guess that she is very much an innocent. (Or she could be a great actress.) I try to convey the idea that she is very smart and very well prepared to conjure a demon. Yet, you can see she is innocent. She knows what she is doing, but she doesn't fully comprehend the ramifications of her actions. That will become clear in the next scene. Since, in my writing world, the most important points of the writing are the storyline, plot, and theme, I'll address them directly:
1. Storyline: as I mentioned, the storyline is based in scenes. This is the first scene. It opens (input) with Aksinya conjuring the demon. It ends with them leaving the cellar. I'll put that up tomorrow. The point of the storyline is to present this very remarkable scene to you. A young woman who has conjured a demon. This is the literal level of the story.
2. Plot: the next level doesn't have to be the plot, but that's a good place to go for convenience sake. The next level of the story is what is said and unsaid. The limitations of a demon (what are his bounds). I give you hints. The type of demon (I tell you his name, read Tobit). The sexual nature of the exchange tells you something about the demon and Aksinya. They both have the same issue (they should, she called him). The exchange about control will be very important throughout the plot. Who is in control? The imagery I use intentionally is of marriage. Like a marriage contract (covenant), the contract between the demon and Aksinya is until death. Look back at the words she uses, they should resonate with that idea. Aksinya is wearing a gown made for a princess, but it is black. The wedding theme, but she is like a child in it. So this in itself indicates her problem: she fills the place with her mind, but not her body. This is the point of Aksinya's lust. Whew, there is more, much more, but I'm getting worn out. That's why I write the way I do--I want all these nuances to come to the reader in the art of the writing.
3. Theme: I said before I want this to be a redemptive theme. The beginning of the novel points to the pain Aksinya will experience in the future. It foreshadows the possibility of redemption, but who ever heard of being able to get out of a contract with a demon...
If no time, than, maybe, just discuss the little techniques you employed, to hint at some of these items covered in item 1-8,...ie, description of the environment, change in environment (candle burning, time limit to getting contract; pacing of the demon), details of the dialogue (what the demon communicates vs is implied, what the girl communications vs is implied, what the demon probes, explores & perceies as the potential 'vulnerability' in the girl. I did, I think. I'll give more next time. If I wasn't clear enough or there is more that needs to be said, just ask.
PS: Did observe the dialogue between demon & girl..about God, the state of her soul, etc; have several Q's, but not covered in this posting, on purpose...awaiting to see if/how you develop that matter further...ie, Girl's religious background, understanding of the spiritual realm, authority over demon, spiritual insight, etc.
This will be very important in the overall story. You can't talk about demons without talking about God. As Aksinya remarks later: "Of course I believe in God. How can I not believe in God when I know there are demons. I just don't trust Him."
So bounded demons. I'll keep adding to this idea as we go along.
1. It will be slightly different than what I am presenting here.
2. That will be about 4 or 5 years (unless I have a best seller)--that's just the book business, and by then you will forget about these details.
3. Some are revealed later in the text.
4. I'll put some in my "secrets" section of the website for the book.
First revelation: Asmodeus us the Demon of Lust. If you didn't google it already. Asmodeus is associated with lust, actually luxuria, which in Latin means unrestrained excess. Extravagant behaviour includes the frequent purchase of luxury goods and forms of debauchery. Aksinya was able to call the demon of luxuria because that is her problem. She specifically has a problem with lust, as we shall see. Her lust is a little different also as we shall see.
Here are some questions and comments from a reader of this blog about yesterday's posting. I'll address them in italics:
"I read installment #4 today. Nice writing; clever, subtle & very provocative. I looked at it at multiple levels; and, first I'll describe the thoughts that went thru my mind, than, I'll ask you specific questions:
1. Physical description of demon & girl...hints of sexuality, contrast between the two; contrasting description loaded, not to be under-estimated. Great observation, this is the point of both. Aksinya has her problems and the demon has his characteristics.
2. Physical dialogue btwn demon & girl...hints of sexuality, authority, contract issues, assurance of age of accountability. Brilliant...demon wants to be assured, girl will be held accountable for her soul. Another revelation: in Jewish thought a girl is a woman at 12 with pubic hair (a boy at 13 with pubic hair). This comes from the Genesis account where God clothes them with animal hair when he expells them. Hebrew thought is that pubic hair is this covering--therefore a person is an adult (accountable) when they have pubic hair and sufficient age. This is the question the demon wants to know. If she is not accountable as an adult, he can't contract with her. This also has an important point with the bounding of a demon. The question is this, what bounds must a demon have? The answer is critical. A demon must have bounds. Immediately we see some. I'll address others below.
3. Physical features: the room, the pentagram, the metaphors; nice. Thanks.
4. Demon's name: excellent hints, if word study undertaken by reader; alot of insight there for folks who take the time to research. Very astute. As noted above.
5. Girl's name & Russian pedigree: excellent hints, if word study undertaken by reader; spoke of that, in last posting. We will later discover Aksinya's mother is the Princess Nina Vladimirovna Golitsyna, nee Bockmann, killed by the Bolsheviks on 19 February 1918. I'm moving the story time to November 1918 to get it past the end of WWI. So the person is real, but the incidents of that person's life are not. Note, she is a nee Bockmann. That will play a critical role later in the novel.
6. Description of the contract, exchange objects; and girl's & demon's reactions to each other's objects, and nuanced change in authority...very interesting. We will find it is all a game to the demon--he almost always lies.
7. Also noticed, with interest, the multiple techniques you employed...switching from description to dialogue to elements of tension.....with demon pacing around the circle. ..dialoguing w/, as well as probing the girl...the eminent (time) threat..of him getting to the girl & her soul...if they didn't get a contract worked out...before candles burning down. That theme, of the demon probing the girl...physically, emotionally & intellectually...very, very impressive.
The demon's comment about the magic circle, we will find later is partially a lie. He has problems with magic circles of all kinds--part of his bounding, but of course Aksinya doesn't know that right now--neither does the reader. This entire description takes elements that are familiar to most Western readers and puts it in a very different perspective. We are like the demon, surprised that a young woman called him. And we are equally wondering how that young woman will win out over a demon.
8. Also, looked at the cadence of the exchange, & (internal) conflict you built up....with the description, the verbal exchange, the length, the rhythm, and the resolution....after contract reached...but, above all...the clear hint of sexuality. Very clear, the demon is simply 'biding' his time...certainly, calling her master (full title, etc.), but, awaiting his opportunity...to monitor, find his opportunity, nurture it, & claim her soul. The fullness of Asmodeus power or temptation isn't evident yet. We will see that he is very, very unscrupulous and all he wishes to do is claim her soul--still there are rules for him, he is bounded.
Would be mighty interested, if you'd care to elaborate on any of the items 1-8, in your writing. More precisely, elaborate on little techniques you used to firmly establish the linkage between theme, plot, storyline, character development, environment, tension....and, most importantly, hint at forthcoming conflict..based on items discussed in item 1-8. The point in this initial meeting is to give enough information to put the reader into suspense and enough to introduce the characters. I told you more than you should or might know (although you can look it up) about Asmodeus. You might guess that he is a demon of lust and from Aksinya's reaction, guess that she is very much an innocent. (Or she could be a great actress.) I try to convey the idea that she is very smart and very well prepared to conjure a demon. Yet, you can see she is innocent. She knows what she is doing, but she doesn't fully comprehend the ramifications of her actions. That will become clear in the next scene. Since, in my writing world, the most important points of the writing are the storyline, plot, and theme, I'll address them directly:
1. Storyline: as I mentioned, the storyline is based in scenes. This is the first scene. It opens (input) with Aksinya conjuring the demon. It ends with them leaving the cellar. I'll put that up tomorrow. The point of the storyline is to present this very remarkable scene to you. A young woman who has conjured a demon. This is the literal level of the story.
2. Plot: the next level doesn't have to be the plot, but that's a good place to go for convenience sake. The next level of the story is what is said and unsaid. The limitations of a demon (what are his bounds). I give you hints. The type of demon (I tell you his name, read Tobit). The sexual nature of the exchange tells you something about the demon and Aksinya. They both have the same issue (they should, she called him). The exchange about control will be very important throughout the plot. Who is in control? The imagery I use intentionally is of marriage. Like a marriage contract (covenant), the contract between the demon and Aksinya is until death. Look back at the words she uses, they should resonate with that idea. Aksinya is wearing a gown made for a princess, but it is black. The wedding theme, but she is like a child in it. So this in itself indicates her problem: she fills the place with her mind, but not her body. This is the point of Aksinya's lust. Whew, there is more, much more, but I'm getting worn out. That's why I write the way I do--I want all these nuances to come to the reader in the art of the writing.
3. Theme: I said before I want this to be a redemptive theme. The beginning of the novel points to the pain Aksinya will experience in the future. It foreshadows the possibility of redemption, but who ever heard of being able to get out of a contract with a demon...
If no time, than, maybe, just discuss the little techniques you employed, to hint at some of these items covered in item 1-8,...ie, description of the environment, change in environment (candle burning, time limit to getting contract; pacing of the demon), details of the dialogue (what the demon communicates vs is implied, what the girl communications vs is implied, what the demon probes, explores & perceies as the potential 'vulnerability' in the girl. I did, I think. I'll give more next time. If I wasn't clear enough or there is more that needs to be said, just ask.
PS: Did observe the dialogue between demon & girl..about God, the state of her soul, etc; have several Q's, but not covered in this posting, on purpose...awaiting to see if/how you develop that matter further...ie, Girl's religious background, understanding of the spiritual realm, authority over demon, spiritual insight, etc.
This will be very important in the overall story. You can't talk about demons without talking about God. As Aksinya remarks later: "Of course I believe in God. How can I not believe in God when I know there are demons. I just don't trust Him."
So bounded demons. I'll keep adding to this idea as we go along.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
A New Novel, Part 4 Temptation at the Door
Okay--the novel, Daemon (working title). I'm going to give you a piece. I'll keep feeding you pieces to make my points. I just thought you might like to see the contract and begin to understand the personalities of the demon and Aksinya. The trick here is to use conversation as the construct to communicate most everything within the storyline. This is part of the first scene. The input was the invocation. This is the contract. The output is leaving the cellar of the guesthouse to save Aksinya's family. Recognize this is the first draft. I need to go over this more than once to refine it, but I think the strength of the writing is still obvious and the point I'm trying to make about developing personalities is evident:
"The creature let out a hiss.
Aksinya licked her lips. She unconsciously spoke Russian, “Hello, demon. Name yourself.”
The demon slitted his eyes. His voice was a hiss only slightly slurred by its fangs, “Russian. I can answer in this tongue. Where is your master little girl?”
“Ha, demon. I am your master.”
“My master? We shall see. Who called me?”
“I did. I demand you name yourself.”
“Little girl, I am Asmodeus. Do you know me?”
“I do know you, and I demand you obey me.”
“Who really called me?”
“I called you.”
“If you lie, you know what I can do to you.”
Aksinya stuck out her chin, “I do not lie, demon.” She began the next part of the reciting in Latin again.
As she spoke, the demon’s eyes widened, “You did call me.” He began to laugh.
Aksinya stopped speaking, “Why are you laughing.”
Asmodeus scratched his nose and let out a little snort, “In all my many years, I have never been called by a girl or a woman. Only men. How old are you anyway. You are nearly breastless. Are you even past the age of accountability.”
“The age of accountability?”
“Yes, are you at least twelve with pubic hair?”
Aksinya blushed, “You, keep quiet. I called you—you have no right to insult me.”
“I have not insulted you, little girl. I only wish to know with whom I deal. If you can’t be held accountable for your sins, then I can’t have any dealing with you.”
“I am more than twelve, and I have…I have,” Aksinya was breathing hard.
“You have pubic hair. I could ask you to prove that, you know.”
“Shut up, demon. I don’t have to prove anything to you.”
“Ah, but you do, and you know it.”
“What I have to prove has nothing to do with, with, that. Listen to me demon, Asmodeus, I claim you as my servant. I called you, and you must now answer to me alone.”
“Very well, I know all that. What do you offer? Usually I get your soul out of the deal.”
Aksinya stammered, “I will not offer you my soul.”
“Why not? You won’t have any other use for it when you die. You’re certain to be in hell for what you did tonight alone.”
“That is not certain. I might have called a demon from the pit…”
“…And worked the blackest of magic.”
“Yes, that too.”
“Little girl, this is how you go to hell—didn’t your mother teach you?”
“My mother did teach me—stand back, demon, Asmodeus.”
“I was only getting closer to you.”
“There is no need until after we have made our contract.”
“Then what do you offer me, little girl? If it is not your soul, then it must be some other part of you. You know that part becomes mine forever.”
Aksinya picked up a dagger from the stone floor. She watched the demon the entire time.
Asmodeus’ eyes brightened. He smiled around his fangs. He licked his lips, “What will you offer me of yourself, little girl? Will it be your virtue perhaps? Or perhaps a body part?”
“You know as well as I do, demon, my virtue is not a part to give but rather a quality. Have you tricked others that way?”
The demon shrugged, “Perhaps I have taken their virtue, and they found out later that that was insufficient for a contract. It really is a bother to be at the beck and call of a puny human.”
“And without a contract…?”
“Without a contract, I take you to hell with me now.” The demon jumped to the edge of the pentagram. He circled it like a cat.
Aksinya turned with him and watched his bright black eyes.
Asmodeus stopped on the other side, “It was well made, little girl.”
“Of course it was well made. Do you think I would try this without being well prepared?”
“From humans, I don’t know what to expect. Now what will you give me? There are rules to this game.”
“This is no game. I know exactly what this is.”
“You know, little girl. I can see right down the front of your dress.”
“Shut up, you have to obey me, demon.”
“Not until there is a contract. Until then, I may do what ever I wish to you.”
“Only if you can touch me.”
“I have all the time in the world. I have been around since that guy laid the foundations of the world. That’s when he created me.”
“You mean God…”
“Don’t say that word. Plus why would a witch like you use His name so easily. You are damned to hell just as I am.”
“Perhaps I am damned to hell, but I know the truth. You were not at the beginning, and he did not create you at first. There is some question as to just who created you and when, so do not speak lies to me demon.”
Asmodeus snarled and moved the rest of the way around the circle, “I am a demon. I may lie as I desire. Now, stop wasting my time, little girl. Give me your part of the bargain and contract me. Either that or let me take you to hell. When the candles of your magic circle burn out, nothing on the earth will protect you from me.”
Aksinya lifted her dagger.
“What do I get? Your finger? Your ear? Perhaps your arm. Does it offend you that much, little girl?”
Aksinya grasped her long braided hair and cut it with the razor sharp dagger, “I shall give you my hair, demon, Asmodeus. This part of me shall be the pledge of our contract. You must please me, protect me, and obey me as my servant until the day of my death.” Aksinya held the log thick braid in front of her and stepped out of the circle toward the demon.
Asmodeus looked as though he wouldn’t take the braid. His legs twitched as though he tried to take a step back. Then slowly, slowly, his hands reached out, and he grasped the braid. Aksinya let it go. She saw her braided hair in the hands of the demon for a moment, then it was gone. The demon dropped to his knees.
“Where is your surety, demon, Asmodeus?”
The demon reached out his hands. In them was a locket of tarnished silver. Its thick chain was like a thin braid of hair. The locket was about two inches high and shaped like a heart. Aksinya bent her head and the demon slipped the chain over it. It settled around her neck and fell down the front of her dress. Aksinya could feel it burning against her chest, between her small breasts.
The demon gave a laugh, “There is my surety, Lady Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna. Are you sure you are not a child?”
So, the demon, Asmodeus and the woman, Aksinya are contracted. Tomorrow, I intend to show you more of the demon. I want you to see how he manipulates and "tempts" Aksinya. The focus of the plot is this temptation. If you didn't get it already, the main temptation of Asmodeus is...perhaps you should guess.
"The creature let out a hiss.
Aksinya licked her lips. She unconsciously spoke Russian, “Hello, demon. Name yourself.”
The demon slitted his eyes. His voice was a hiss only slightly slurred by its fangs, “Russian. I can answer in this tongue. Where is your master little girl?”
“Ha, demon. I am your master.”
“My master? We shall see. Who called me?”
“I did. I demand you name yourself.”
“Little girl, I am Asmodeus. Do you know me?”
“I do know you, and I demand you obey me.”
“Who really called me?”
“I called you.”
“If you lie, you know what I can do to you.”
Aksinya stuck out her chin, “I do not lie, demon.” She began the next part of the reciting in Latin again.
As she spoke, the demon’s eyes widened, “You did call me.” He began to laugh.
Aksinya stopped speaking, “Why are you laughing.”
Asmodeus scratched his nose and let out a little snort, “In all my many years, I have never been called by a girl or a woman. Only men. How old are you anyway. You are nearly breastless. Are you even past the age of accountability.”
“The age of accountability?”
“Yes, are you at least twelve with pubic hair?”
Aksinya blushed, “You, keep quiet. I called you—you have no right to insult me.”
“I have not insulted you, little girl. I only wish to know with whom I deal. If you can’t be held accountable for your sins, then I can’t have any dealing with you.”
“I am more than twelve, and I have…I have,” Aksinya was breathing hard.
“You have pubic hair. I could ask you to prove that, you know.”
“Shut up, demon. I don’t have to prove anything to you.”
“Ah, but you do, and you know it.”
“What I have to prove has nothing to do with, with, that. Listen to me demon, Asmodeus, I claim you as my servant. I called you, and you must now answer to me alone.”
“Very well, I know all that. What do you offer? Usually I get your soul out of the deal.”
Aksinya stammered, “I will not offer you my soul.”
“Why not? You won’t have any other use for it when you die. You’re certain to be in hell for what you did tonight alone.”
“That is not certain. I might have called a demon from the pit…”
“…And worked the blackest of magic.”
“Yes, that too.”
“Little girl, this is how you go to hell—didn’t your mother teach you?”
“My mother did teach me—stand back, demon, Asmodeus.”
“I was only getting closer to you.”
“There is no need until after we have made our contract.”
“Then what do you offer me, little girl? If it is not your soul, then it must be some other part of you. You know that part becomes mine forever.”
Aksinya picked up a dagger from the stone floor. She watched the demon the entire time.
Asmodeus’ eyes brightened. He smiled around his fangs. He licked his lips, “What will you offer me of yourself, little girl? Will it be your virtue perhaps? Or perhaps a body part?”
“You know as well as I do, demon, my virtue is not a part to give but rather a quality. Have you tricked others that way?”
The demon shrugged, “Perhaps I have taken their virtue, and they found out later that that was insufficient for a contract. It really is a bother to be at the beck and call of a puny human.”
“And without a contract…?”
“Without a contract, I take you to hell with me now.” The demon jumped to the edge of the pentagram. He circled it like a cat.
Aksinya turned with him and watched his bright black eyes.
Asmodeus stopped on the other side, “It was well made, little girl.”
“Of course it was well made. Do you think I would try this without being well prepared?”
“From humans, I don’t know what to expect. Now what will you give me? There are rules to this game.”
“This is no game. I know exactly what this is.”
“You know, little girl. I can see right down the front of your dress.”
“Shut up, you have to obey me, demon.”
“Not until there is a contract. Until then, I may do what ever I wish to you.”
“Only if you can touch me.”
“I have all the time in the world. I have been around since that guy laid the foundations of the world. That’s when he created me.”
“You mean God…”
“Don’t say that word. Plus why would a witch like you use His name so easily. You are damned to hell just as I am.”
“Perhaps I am damned to hell, but I know the truth. You were not at the beginning, and he did not create you at first. There is some question as to just who created you and when, so do not speak lies to me demon.”
Asmodeus snarled and moved the rest of the way around the circle, “I am a demon. I may lie as I desire. Now, stop wasting my time, little girl. Give me your part of the bargain and contract me. Either that or let me take you to hell. When the candles of your magic circle burn out, nothing on the earth will protect you from me.”
Aksinya lifted her dagger.
“What do I get? Your finger? Your ear? Perhaps your arm. Does it offend you that much, little girl?”
Aksinya grasped her long braided hair and cut it with the razor sharp dagger, “I shall give you my hair, demon, Asmodeus. This part of me shall be the pledge of our contract. You must please me, protect me, and obey me as my servant until the day of my death.” Aksinya held the log thick braid in front of her and stepped out of the circle toward the demon.
Asmodeus looked as though he wouldn’t take the braid. His legs twitched as though he tried to take a step back. Then slowly, slowly, his hands reached out, and he grasped the braid. Aksinya let it go. She saw her braided hair in the hands of the demon for a moment, then it was gone. The demon dropped to his knees.
“Where is your surety, demon, Asmodeus?”
The demon reached out his hands. In them was a locket of tarnished silver. Its thick chain was like a thin braid of hair. The locket was about two inches high and shaped like a heart. Aksinya bent her head and the demon slipped the chain over it. It settled around her neck and fell down the front of her dress. Aksinya could feel it burning against her chest, between her small breasts.
The demon gave a laugh, “There is my surety, Lady Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna. Are you sure you are not a child?”
So, the demon, Asmodeus and the woman, Aksinya are contracted. Tomorrow, I intend to show you more of the demon. I want you to see how he manipulates and "tempts" Aksinya. The focus of the plot is this temptation. If you didn't get it already, the main temptation of Asmodeus is...perhaps you should guess.
Monday, October 4, 2010
A New Novel, Part 3 The Girl and the Demon
Thank you Helena P. Schrader, www.Schradershistoricalfiction.blogspot.com for your great comment on writing historical fiction. I do move in different genres, but my focus is clearly historical. I know that might be difficult to fathom, but even my science fiction is in some degree historically based.
Right now, I'm taking a break from writing by writing. I'm waiting for my tea water to boil so I can prepare Russian tea and eat two left over Krispy Kreem chocolate glazed donuts. Seems like a worthwhile thing to me. I'm wondering if I should have a cigar as well. Such richness in life is the richness of a great novel. You should be able to imagine the tastes, smells, colors, feel, and sounds of the world encompassed by the writing. In Daemon (working title) I want you to feel with Aksinya all she experiences, but especially her constant fight against temptation.
Why pick a woman as the main character. Many of my recent books are plagued with women as the primary characters. I don't just choose them for fun. There is a reason and it is directly related to the theme. Primarily, a woman can be an immediate pathetic character (I don't mean this in a negative fashion). Pathetic means: affecting or exciting emotion. A woman as a character instantly draws your reader into an emotional response. When I describe Aksinya as plain and yet loving, when I tell you that she is willing to risk her soul to save her family, your immediate response is to like her. When I describe her temptations, her personal demon does tempt her sorely, you have pity on her. On the other hand, if I made her character a man, your response to her temptation would not be pity, but anger and disgust. Though men are as tempted as women, you expect a man to be tough and to always be able to fight temptation. You expect a man to be a certain way, and if I write a man as an effeminate character, you won't like him. On the other hand, if I write a woman as a manly character, you will applaud her. So for this reason, because my theme requires an emotionless, manly, but pathetic character, I choose to make her a woman. Here is her description from the first page of the novel (actually the beginning of the novel):
"The dank stone room was filled with shadows. Every corner oozed darkness. Within a pentagram that was encompassed by a circle stood a slight young woman. Fat yellow beef-tallow candles marked the points of the pentagram and weakly illuminated only the area around her. A brazier of incense filled the room with the scent of myrrh along with an underlying smell that was indeterminate, but left a taste of blood in the mouth. The woman was dressed in a black dress that was much too large for her. Beautiful handmade lace cascaded down the front of the dress and decorated the sleeves. Thick velvet competed with black satin to form a perfect attire to greet a Tsar, but certainly not a commissar. The gown fell loosely away from the woman’s thin chest and small breasts. It looked odd draped on her body, like a girl playing dress-up from her mother’s closet. But this dress obviously came from the closet of a princess.
Aksinya, the woman within the pentagram, squinted across the dark cellar. She was barely seventeen and too thin for her age. She was petit; that was a polite way of saying small. And underdeveloped, that was a polite way of saying she didn’t yet appear much like a woman. Aksinya’s hair was brown and her face was plain. Her voice was soft and sometimes too shrill. When she was excited it rose in strength and pitch, so she never sounded very mature or well mannered."
Aksinya does conjure a real demon, Asmodeus. The demon:
"Immediately, Aksinya’s words changed. They words of enticing and cajoling became those of welcoming and greeting. They leapt automatically from her lips. As she spoke, she carefully watched the shape across the room. It began to move. At first it rose and fell as though it was just beginning to breathe, and then it began to grow. It unfolded like a flower, but this flower was like nothing beautiful the earth had ever seen. It was man-shaped and black. Its skin and muscles clung to it as though it was only bone and muscle without any fat at all. When it had unfolded completely, it touched the top of the ceiling, at least seven feet tall. More than two meters. Its limbs were long and at the end of its fingers were talons and of its feet were claws. They were black too. Its face was black and handsome. Fangs jutted out of its lips on the top and the bottom, but the face was aristocratic and fine. At its head were ears that lifted up points like an animal and horns at either side.
The creature was naked, and Aksinya’s eyes moved almost without her control downward. There was nothing there. It was like an expurgated statue. There was nothing but a pubic bulge. Aksinya wasn’t certain whether to be disappointed. She raised her hands in the final greeting and let them fall."
So, we have the girl and the demon. That is the beginning.
Right now, I'm taking a break from writing by writing. I'm waiting for my tea water to boil so I can prepare Russian tea and eat two left over Krispy Kreem chocolate glazed donuts. Seems like a worthwhile thing to me. I'm wondering if I should have a cigar as well. Such richness in life is the richness of a great novel. You should be able to imagine the tastes, smells, colors, feel, and sounds of the world encompassed by the writing. In Daemon (working title) I want you to feel with Aksinya all she experiences, but especially her constant fight against temptation.
Why pick a woman as the main character. Many of my recent books are plagued with women as the primary characters. I don't just choose them for fun. There is a reason and it is directly related to the theme. Primarily, a woman can be an immediate pathetic character (I don't mean this in a negative fashion). Pathetic means: affecting or exciting emotion. A woman as a character instantly draws your reader into an emotional response. When I describe Aksinya as plain and yet loving, when I tell you that she is willing to risk her soul to save her family, your immediate response is to like her. When I describe her temptations, her personal demon does tempt her sorely, you have pity on her. On the other hand, if I made her character a man, your response to her temptation would not be pity, but anger and disgust. Though men are as tempted as women, you expect a man to be tough and to always be able to fight temptation. You expect a man to be a certain way, and if I write a man as an effeminate character, you won't like him. On the other hand, if I write a woman as a manly character, you will applaud her. So for this reason, because my theme requires an emotionless, manly, but pathetic character, I choose to make her a woman. Here is her description from the first page of the novel (actually the beginning of the novel):
"The dank stone room was filled with shadows. Every corner oozed darkness. Within a pentagram that was encompassed by a circle stood a slight young woman. Fat yellow beef-tallow candles marked the points of the pentagram and weakly illuminated only the area around her. A brazier of incense filled the room with the scent of myrrh along with an underlying smell that was indeterminate, but left a taste of blood in the mouth. The woman was dressed in a black dress that was much too large for her. Beautiful handmade lace cascaded down the front of the dress and decorated the sleeves. Thick velvet competed with black satin to form a perfect attire to greet a Tsar, but certainly not a commissar. The gown fell loosely away from the woman’s thin chest and small breasts. It looked odd draped on her body, like a girl playing dress-up from her mother’s closet. But this dress obviously came from the closet of a princess.
Aksinya, the woman within the pentagram, squinted across the dark cellar. She was barely seventeen and too thin for her age. She was petit; that was a polite way of saying small. And underdeveloped, that was a polite way of saying she didn’t yet appear much like a woman. Aksinya’s hair was brown and her face was plain. Her voice was soft and sometimes too shrill. When she was excited it rose in strength and pitch, so she never sounded very mature or well mannered."
Aksinya does conjure a real demon, Asmodeus. The demon:
"Immediately, Aksinya’s words changed. They words of enticing and cajoling became those of welcoming and greeting. They leapt automatically from her lips. As she spoke, she carefully watched the shape across the room. It began to move. At first it rose and fell as though it was just beginning to breathe, and then it began to grow. It unfolded like a flower, but this flower was like nothing beautiful the earth had ever seen. It was man-shaped and black. Its skin and muscles clung to it as though it was only bone and muscle without any fat at all. When it had unfolded completely, it touched the top of the ceiling, at least seven feet tall. More than two meters. Its limbs were long and at the end of its fingers were talons and of its feet were claws. They were black too. Its face was black and handsome. Fangs jutted out of its lips on the top and the bottom, but the face was aristocratic and fine. At its head were ears that lifted up points like an animal and horns at either side.
The creature was naked, and Aksinya’s eyes moved almost without her control downward. There was nothing there. It was like an expurgated statue. There was nothing but a pubic bulge. Aksinya wasn’t certain whether to be disappointed. She raised her hands in the final greeting and let them fall."
So, we have the girl and the demon. That is the beginning.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
A New Novel, Part 2 Answers to Questions
A good friend of this blog and an intellect I really respect put these questions to me based on my "writing about writing" and the new novel I'm writing now and writing about (sorry, run-on). I'll answer the questions using italics.
"Enjoyed your writing workshop; greatly. Will follow your progress, as you can make time for the story.
Before asking about themes in your new book,I have a few Q's to ask. If you're willing, please explain your primary motive for writing:
1. Desire to explore/record significant event or experience?
2. Desire for sharing experience/in sight with an interested group?
3. Desire for free individual expression which contributes to mental and physical health.
4. Desire for creating a production novel vs a work of art...ie, recognition, fame or fortune?
5. Any combination of above.. which, ranked?
This is a great question and the answer is relatively simple. The first is I love to write, and I love to tell a good story. Put the two together and you hopefully get a great novel. This is obviously too simple an answer because even if you love to tell stories, your motives, as an adult, are much deeper than that. The longer answer is that I want to entertain and at the same time present material that when the reader gets to the end, they don't say, "That was a great story, but I didn't take anything away intellectually." I seek to write novels on multiple levels that present information by multiple means. (The end of this is that I need to spend at least a short series on my motive for writing.) The direct answer to the question above is 6. To create a piece of art in words. I want my novels to be enjoyed and enjoyed and enjoyed. I want the readers to love the story so much that they go back to find all the tiny details I lovingly put within it.
When starting a new novel: how much time/detail & physical documentation do you put into your story's outline (framework)concerning the story's primary & secondary themes, primary & secondary narratives, plots, main/secondary characters, character's physical vs emotional vs intellectual world. How carefully, and rigorously, do you look at the way reality is (going to be created) in the works of fiction?
I'll answer this by example, and you will see it unfold as I write Daemon (working title). For this novel, I already have spent at least 3 or 4 years of research. I'll talk about that a little below. I chose the period and the country for a couple of reasons. The first is I know a lot about Russia and the Russian revolution of 1917. The second is I needed a backdrop for the theme I am creating. The theme is one of redemption and I needed a plot that supported it. The events of the Russian Revolution provided that backdrop. The basis of research for the novel was complete before I had the idea to write it. I had the idea for the theme first and wrapped it in the plot I started to describe. Within my imagination, I have been building the details for a few weeks. Before I set ink to paper (electrons to virtual paper), I already had an idea what the characters looked like and their personalities. I knew what the world was like because of my reading and research. The trick from that point was to actually put it to paper. So the exact answer is there is 3-4 years of research, an idea for a theme, wrapping the theme in a plot, thinking about the plot long enough to generate the characters, notes on the first scenes, and finally, beginning to write. Since the storyline falls out of the plot which falls out of the theme, the work only needs to be fleshed out. I do that by scene and I'll give more details as I move forward. By the way, the details and the secondary characters usually get researched as needed. For example, I need a name for Aksinya's servant. I have some sites I have used for other novels about Russian names. I'll use them to pick an appropriate name.
Do you give much thought & outline, up front, to primary & secondary character development, ie, the specific characteristics of characters or events that shape them or character studies along the way. Stated another way, do you have a good idea of all their strengths, weaknesses & flaws up front, or does it develop, along the way.
For the primary characters, they must be different than any of my other primary characters. I think I achieve this as well as any author has. Each of the characters in my books are significantly different than the others--especially the primary characters. In general, I develop the theme around that character's differences. That's the point. The theme drives the entire work. The character must fit in the theme, plot, and storyline in their own way, otherwise the writing, but not the novel or work is not different than another you might have written. So about the primary characters, I know them well before they make it to paper, but on paper, they grow from the incipient ideas that formed them. The secondary characters are similar, but obviously not as carefully formed. Generally, they all may be formed but not developed along the way.
Do you have a very general or specific targeted audience in mind when you're writing...ie, demographic, age, education, interest, etc.? Or, do you strive to target two or three overlaid or overlapping audiences...say, like a CS Lewis..Narnia chronicle. Child story, adult story, deep theological examination. etc.
Since my only consideration is the theme, plot, and storyline, I don't want my ideas to interfere with any of them. I don't write for an audience other than I do write stories for adults. What I mean by that is I write works that have adult themes and contain adult concepts. That doesn't mean they are salicious, but it means they are for adults. In my terms, I create art for adults to appreciate. A child or young adult can read them, but they might not understand or appreciate them (plus, I've been told my vocabulary is relatively large--kids might have a problem with that).
Regarding your new novel;you briefly said:
1. Circa 1917, child of aristocracy.
2. Father Russian Count,mother Princess. Young (inexperienced) girl delving into the spiritual world, seeking demon to protect her family...wow!
3. What's your primary focus... desire to examine the turbulence of the era? The Russian aristocracy, or the Feb 1916 Rev from perspective of someone in Russian Aristocracy? Or does it have many layers, say, a historic examination, a character study of the girl & an oblique examination at spiritualism, or more specifically, demonology, or the occult?
The era is simply the best setting for this theme. I intend to include all the details mentioned above to make the world of the novel real. I'll talk about the specific theme and plot below.
Or, is the use of a 'supernatural' figure, a literary device? Say, simply intended to confront the main character w/ something beyond her normal, physical control or influence?
The use of the supernatural is to set the theme in motion. Very similar to Faust, but this isn't Faust. The plot in Faust has been a mainstay of many works. This is a radical departure from that plot and potentially a new theme from it.
Or, if the demon isn't simply a literary device, but rather a more detailed study on spiritualism, demonology or the occult, will you present/examine demons from a Christian point of view..ie Orthodox Russian Christian? Or another?
I am not a student of the occult except to understand it. I am grounded in Frazier's Golden Bough and in P.E.I. Bonewitz as well as many other basic sources of ideas of magic in Western Civ. I have used these ideas in various ways in my works. It isn't Harry Potter. By the way, in this world and novel, the demon is real. He is a real demon, Asmodeus, with a real pedigree (Tobit in the Apocrypha).
You say:
Aksinya is conjuring a demon to protect her family from the Bolsheviks. She succeeds in calling up the demon Asmodeus and contracting him, but she is too late to save her family.
You didnt' say, she contacted him, you say she 'contracted' him...big difference, spelling error, or the proverbial 'deal' with the devil?
She contracted with him. That is the problem for her that drives the plot and the theme.
Also, you mention, her Mom is from the House of Romanov..last imperial dynasty over Russia from 1613 until the Feb 1917 Revolution...big hint, there.
Through dialogue w/ her mother, or her exploring her mother's family history, are you going to explore slavic aristocracy & patriotism, cultural revival, and panslavist ideas, or examine the tight commitment to (Russian) orthodox faith that was required of Romanovs..to make them 'more Russian?'
Generally all that will be covered in many ways. The Orthodox faith of Aksinya and her family is an important part of the plot and theme. From the beginning, her mother is dead, but I might have a flashback or two to flesh out their relationship.
FYI: Go check the background of the 'Holstein-Gottorp-Romanov dynasty and you'll see the Holstein-Gottorps of Russia retained the Romanov surname, sought to emphasize their matrilineal descent from Peter the Great, through Anna Petrovna (Peter I's elder daughter by his second wife. )
And, what about her father...a Russian Count..hum, alot of potential there. He's obviously titled nobility; was it proprietary (actually based on land ownership?) or titular (endowed with the title)? Presume, the former, if he managed to marry a Rom.
Presume, you know, Romanov hereditary nobility was transferred to wife, children, and further direct legal descendants along the male line. In exceptional cases, the emperor could transfer nobility along indirect or female lines, e.g., to preserve a notable family name.
Personal nobility was transferable only to the wife and was of much lower prestige. Unpropertied nobility was nobility gained by state service, but which was not entitled to land ownership.
In addition, the ancient nobility (Древнее дворянство) was recognized, descendants of historical boyars and knyazes.
Anyway...seems like a fascinating start to the story... alot of directions you could take this novel. Those were just some of the different things that came to my mind; when I read your blog today.
Will be interesting, to see how it unfolds."
Good information. Much of this has been folded already into the plot as I will reveal in later posts.
Ultimately the theme and plot is driven by the fact that the demon's goal is to tempt Aksinya to do evil (in the most simple terms, to sin) so she will lose her soul. Aksinya's desire is to break the contract and not lose her soul. The overall point is that she has contracted with a demon though not for her soul. I want the theme to be redemptive and successful. Those are the details I'm working out now.
"Enjoyed your writing workshop; greatly. Will follow your progress, as you can make time for the story.
Before asking about themes in your new book,I have a few Q's to ask. If you're willing, please explain your primary motive for writing:
1. Desire to explore/record significant event or experience?
2. Desire for sharing experience/in sight with an interested group?
3. Desire for free individual expression which contributes to mental and physical health.
4. Desire for creating a production novel vs a work of art...ie, recognition, fame or fortune?
5. Any combination of above.. which, ranked?
This is a great question and the answer is relatively simple. The first is I love to write, and I love to tell a good story. Put the two together and you hopefully get a great novel. This is obviously too simple an answer because even if you love to tell stories, your motives, as an adult, are much deeper than that. The longer answer is that I want to entertain and at the same time present material that when the reader gets to the end, they don't say, "That was a great story, but I didn't take anything away intellectually." I seek to write novels on multiple levels that present information by multiple means. (The end of this is that I need to spend at least a short series on my motive for writing.) The direct answer to the question above is 6. To create a piece of art in words. I want my novels to be enjoyed and enjoyed and enjoyed. I want the readers to love the story so much that they go back to find all the tiny details I lovingly put within it.
When starting a new novel: how much time/detail & physical documentation do you put into your story's outline (framework)concerning the story's primary & secondary themes, primary & secondary narratives, plots, main/secondary characters, character's physical vs emotional vs intellectual world. How carefully, and rigorously, do you look at the way reality is (going to be created) in the works of fiction?
I'll answer this by example, and you will see it unfold as I write Daemon (working title). For this novel, I already have spent at least 3 or 4 years of research. I'll talk about that a little below. I chose the period and the country for a couple of reasons. The first is I know a lot about Russia and the Russian revolution of 1917. The second is I needed a backdrop for the theme I am creating. The theme is one of redemption and I needed a plot that supported it. The events of the Russian Revolution provided that backdrop. The basis of research for the novel was complete before I had the idea to write it. I had the idea for the theme first and wrapped it in the plot I started to describe. Within my imagination, I have been building the details for a few weeks. Before I set ink to paper (electrons to virtual paper), I already had an idea what the characters looked like and their personalities. I knew what the world was like because of my reading and research. The trick from that point was to actually put it to paper. So the exact answer is there is 3-4 years of research, an idea for a theme, wrapping the theme in a plot, thinking about the plot long enough to generate the characters, notes on the first scenes, and finally, beginning to write. Since the storyline falls out of the plot which falls out of the theme, the work only needs to be fleshed out. I do that by scene and I'll give more details as I move forward. By the way, the details and the secondary characters usually get researched as needed. For example, I need a name for Aksinya's servant. I have some sites I have used for other novels about Russian names. I'll use them to pick an appropriate name.
Do you give much thought & outline, up front, to primary & secondary character development, ie, the specific characteristics of characters or events that shape them or character studies along the way. Stated another way, do you have a good idea of all their strengths, weaknesses & flaws up front, or does it develop, along the way.
For the primary characters, they must be different than any of my other primary characters. I think I achieve this as well as any author has. Each of the characters in my books are significantly different than the others--especially the primary characters. In general, I develop the theme around that character's differences. That's the point. The theme drives the entire work. The character must fit in the theme, plot, and storyline in their own way, otherwise the writing, but not the novel or work is not different than another you might have written. So about the primary characters, I know them well before they make it to paper, but on paper, they grow from the incipient ideas that formed them. The secondary characters are similar, but obviously not as carefully formed. Generally, they all may be formed but not developed along the way.
Do you have a very general or specific targeted audience in mind when you're writing...ie, demographic, age, education, interest, etc.? Or, do you strive to target two or three overlaid or overlapping audiences...say, like a CS Lewis..Narnia chronicle. Child story, adult story, deep theological examination. etc.
Since my only consideration is the theme, plot, and storyline, I don't want my ideas to interfere with any of them. I don't write for an audience other than I do write stories for adults. What I mean by that is I write works that have adult themes and contain adult concepts. That doesn't mean they are salicious, but it means they are for adults. In my terms, I create art for adults to appreciate. A child or young adult can read them, but they might not understand or appreciate them (plus, I've been told my vocabulary is relatively large--kids might have a problem with that).
Regarding your new novel;you briefly said:
1. Circa 1917, child of aristocracy.
2. Father Russian Count,mother Princess. Young (inexperienced) girl delving into the spiritual world, seeking demon to protect her family...wow!
3. What's your primary focus... desire to examine the turbulence of the era? The Russian aristocracy, or the Feb 1916 Rev from perspective of someone in Russian Aristocracy? Or does it have many layers, say, a historic examination, a character study of the girl & an oblique examination at spiritualism, or more specifically, demonology, or the occult?
The era is simply the best setting for this theme. I intend to include all the details mentioned above to make the world of the novel real. I'll talk about the specific theme and plot below.
Or, is the use of a 'supernatural' figure, a literary device? Say, simply intended to confront the main character w/ something beyond her normal, physical control or influence?
The use of the supernatural is to set the theme in motion. Very similar to Faust, but this isn't Faust. The plot in Faust has been a mainstay of many works. This is a radical departure from that plot and potentially a new theme from it.
Or, if the demon isn't simply a literary device, but rather a more detailed study on spiritualism, demonology or the occult, will you present/examine demons from a Christian point of view..ie Orthodox Russian Christian? Or another?
I am not a student of the occult except to understand it. I am grounded in Frazier's Golden Bough and in P.E.I. Bonewitz as well as many other basic sources of ideas of magic in Western Civ. I have used these ideas in various ways in my works. It isn't Harry Potter. By the way, in this world and novel, the demon is real. He is a real demon, Asmodeus, with a real pedigree (Tobit in the Apocrypha).
You say:
Aksinya is conjuring a demon to protect her family from the Bolsheviks. She succeeds in calling up the demon Asmodeus and contracting him, but she is too late to save her family.
You didnt' say, she contacted him, you say she 'contracted' him...big difference, spelling error, or the proverbial 'deal' with the devil?
She contracted with him. That is the problem for her that drives the plot and the theme.
Also, you mention, her Mom is from the House of Romanov..last imperial dynasty over Russia from 1613 until the Feb 1917 Revolution...big hint, there.
Through dialogue w/ her mother, or her exploring her mother's family history, are you going to explore slavic aristocracy & patriotism, cultural revival, and panslavist ideas, or examine the tight commitment to (Russian) orthodox faith that was required of Romanovs..to make them 'more Russian?'
Generally all that will be covered in many ways. The Orthodox faith of Aksinya and her family is an important part of the plot and theme. From the beginning, her mother is dead, but I might have a flashback or two to flesh out their relationship.
FYI: Go check the background of the 'Holstein-Gottorp-Romanov dynasty and you'll see the Holstein-Gottorps of Russia retained the Romanov surname, sought to emphasize their matrilineal descent from Peter the Great, through Anna Petrovna (Peter I's elder daughter by his second wife. )
And, what about her father...a Russian Count..hum, alot of potential there. He's obviously titled nobility; was it proprietary (actually based on land ownership?) or titular (endowed with the title)? Presume, the former, if he managed to marry a Rom.
Presume, you know, Romanov hereditary nobility was transferred to wife, children, and further direct legal descendants along the male line. In exceptional cases, the emperor could transfer nobility along indirect or female lines, e.g., to preserve a notable family name.
Personal nobility was transferable only to the wife and was of much lower prestige. Unpropertied nobility was nobility gained by state service, but which was not entitled to land ownership.
In addition, the ancient nobility (Древнее дворянство) was recognized, descendants of historical boyars and knyazes.
Anyway...seems like a fascinating start to the story... alot of directions you could take this novel. Those were just some of the different things that came to my mind; when I read your blog today.
Will be interesting, to see how it unfolds."
Good information. Much of this has been folded already into the plot as I will reveal in later posts.
Ultimately the theme and plot is driven by the fact that the demon's goal is to tempt Aksinya to do evil (in the most simple terms, to sin) so she will lose her soul. Aksinya's desire is to break the contract and not lose her soul. The overall point is that she has contracted with a demon though not for her soul. I want the theme to be redemptive and successful. Those are the details I'm working out now.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Opps I am writing a new book - Daemon
This happens about every six months. I get an idea for a book that is worth pursuing. That's what just happened. Since I am working double full time, this book will take a while to write. Therefore, I thought I could take a break from writing about the subjects I have been pursuing and actually give a little blow by blow about writing this new book. So, we are going to take a little hiatus from writing about writing science fiction to actually talk about starting a new book.
What's it all about. If you have read any of my writing, you know I am not a single genre author. My writing tends to be mixed genre. The plots of my early historical fiction novels tend to be about the ancient world, but I use different mechanisms to bring you to those ancient worlds. My latest novels have been historical moving into the modern era. I have written three novels that are modern era but that point back into the past--they are, as yet, unpublished. They are Antebellum, http://www.antebellumnovel.com/, The Enchantment of the Hearth, http://www.enchantmentofthehearth.com/, and Dana-ana, http://www.goddessnovel.com/. They are all mixed genre books, and like I have mentioned they are different. All my books are different. The reason is, you can't expect people to be enthused with a rewriting of x. Pick any book or any plot to fill in x. Remember, your themes can be similar, but the plots and storylines need to be unique. So my books are unique.
Now I have another unique book to write. As I mentioned, it is kind of set in the modern era, 1917 to be exact. The premise is based on a specific scene. I pictured in my mind a young woman, Aksinya--the age isn't set yet, but I'm thinking 17 to 19. She is not beautiful or developed or refined, but she is a child of aristocracy. Her father is a Russian Count and her mother is a Romanov Princess. She is an odd child who was always alone but who loved her family. She had access to an old guest house on her father's property where she found some odd and ancient Latin books. She taught herself Latin and discovered the books were all concerning the use of magic. (This is all back story). The book begins when Aksinya is conjuring a demon to protect her family from the Bolsheviks. She succeeds in calling up the demon Asmodeus and contracting him, but she is too late to save her family.
That is the beginning. Now I am working 40 hours a week on Engineering, 40 hours a week on all my other business (property, books, author, 2 classes, and management), and the rest on writing this book. We shall see how much I can give to these pages, but I will update you on the book.
What's it all about. If you have read any of my writing, you know I am not a single genre author. My writing tends to be mixed genre. The plots of my early historical fiction novels tend to be about the ancient world, but I use different mechanisms to bring you to those ancient worlds. My latest novels have been historical moving into the modern era. I have written three novels that are modern era but that point back into the past--they are, as yet, unpublished. They are Antebellum, http://www.antebellumnovel.com/, The Enchantment of the Hearth, http://www.enchantmentofthehearth.com/, and Dana-ana, http://www.goddessnovel.com/. They are all mixed genre books, and like I have mentioned they are different. All my books are different. The reason is, you can't expect people to be enthused with a rewriting of x. Pick any book or any plot to fill in x. Remember, your themes can be similar, but the plots and storylines need to be unique. So my books are unique.
Now I have another unique book to write. As I mentioned, it is kind of set in the modern era, 1917 to be exact. The premise is based on a specific scene. I pictured in my mind a young woman, Aksinya--the age isn't set yet, but I'm thinking 17 to 19. She is not beautiful or developed or refined, but she is a child of aristocracy. Her father is a Russian Count and her mother is a Romanov Princess. She is an odd child who was always alone but who loved her family. She had access to an old guest house on her father's property where she found some odd and ancient Latin books. She taught herself Latin and discovered the books were all concerning the use of magic. (This is all back story). The book begins when Aksinya is conjuring a demon to protect her family from the Bolsheviks. She succeeds in calling up the demon Asmodeus and contracting him, but she is too late to save her family.
That is the beginning. Now I am working 40 hours a week on Engineering, 40 hours a week on all my other business (property, books, author, 2 classes, and management), and the rest on writing this book. We shall see how much I can give to these pages, but I will update you on the book.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Writing Science Fiction, part 5 Showing
Last time, I established that the choice of the use of science fiction to put forward a theme is a cognizant choice by an author--or it should be. This is similar to the choice of the use of first, second, or third person in writing. Because I think this is an important topic, and I haven't written about it before, I'll mention it before I transition to my main subject. An author should choose the point of view of the novel based on the main character of the novel. Usually, the third person (he, she) is appropriate for characters and novels about normal people or where the focus of the novel is not about a certain person's eyewitness view of events. On the other hand, if the focus of a novel is a special person or a special person's specific eyewitness view, then a first person (I) point of view is appropriate. I begin with a first person point of view in my novel The End of Honor, http://www.theendofhonor.com/. The main character is Lyral Neuterra, she dies in the first page of the book, and the rest of the first half of the novel is a recollected view of the events that led to her death. At that point the novel switches to third person and concludes sans Lyral (she's dead). The reason I wrote the novel like this is that I was trying some advanced techniques with my series The Chronicles of the Dragon and the Fox, http://www.dragonandfox.com/. I chose to make Lyral and her story the main focus of the novel. This worked well because she was a critically important character and the entire work revolved around her and the the revenge her dead caused. She was the telic (beginning and end) cause of the plot. She was one of the most important persons in the universe and the created world of the Dragon and the Fox. This made the use of the first person until her ultimate death very appropriate. You saw the world revealed through the eyes of Lyral and this gave you the ability to understand both the horror of her death (a loss of honor) and the horror of the revenge (a loss of honor) made in her name. Thus, in The End of Honor, I used the first person as an intentional means to draw your eye to Lyral and keep it there. Your world was her world, and so you saw her view. This is where the use of showing in revealing the scientific background of the novel becomes the subject point. Her view was your view; therefore, when she says this:
"I was the Duke of Neuterra’s eldest daughter, his only daughter, his only child. He and his dame, my mother, could not bear another child. Though they tried, their vitality was gone, and the Codes of the Noble Accords forbade them from any artificial means of increasing their fertility.
They were stuck with me, and the only hope for our House was an alliance marriage. With this in mind, my father groomed me to attract the attention of another great House, one that would willingly accept the Duchy and the name. With the approval of the Landsritters, the Emperor would be forced to accept the new House Neuterra descended through me.
I was well prepared to fill this position. I was made to be a Princess. I was educated to be a scientist of political solutions and ventures—an advisor, steward, mother, ruler, lover, and I was all of these and more. My heritage and intelligence allowed me to excel in these studies as if I was truly born to them, which I was. But I was not the Princess my Father hoped I would be."
We begin to understand the focus of her world. You had no idea about The Codes. Now you know a little. You didn't know about Lyral's problem, now you begin to see it. The undergirding of the issues and the science of this world become clear. Later, in one of my favorite scenes, she reveals:
"He was kind to the last. “My lady, I’m at your service. Until you decide, I am obliged to you.”
In spite of my tears, I turned. “Obliged?”
He looked directly at me. “Yes, obliged.” He took off the sash that marked his rank as an Imperial Prince and thrust it at me.
Unconsciously, I put my hands behind my back. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“I dare, and I have.” He thrust the sash toward me again.
“No, I can’t accept that. You put yourself under my complete authority. How can you justify placing your very self under my control? Already, you intend to reveal your plans in their entirety to me.”
“I pray they would become your plans also, and you would safeguard them and my honor just as I would.”
“You know I can’t make that commitment.”
“...but you will protect my interests. Don’t shame me, Lady Lyral, take my oblige. I will protect you and your House. I will be yours until you decide my honor and my arms no longer defend you.”
I know he could see the tears that glistened on my cheeks, but he took no notice of them. I didn’t want to soften to his proposal. I wasn’t sure where I stood, but I could not lightly dismiss the offer of oblige, especially from the son of the Emperor. I reached gingerly for the sash, and he relinquished it with a look of relief. I curtsied to him and backed away."
The concept of "oblige" might have been foreign to you before, but now through Lyral's eyes you should have some understanding. This "oblige" isn't a science fiction concept. It is an Anglo-Saxon concept that later we recognize as the chivalric idea of a woman or man carrying a token of honor for their knight or lady. In this exchange we see the deeper overtones of what "oblige" means to the inhabitants of the universe of the Dragon and the Fox.
So, I gave you examples. Perhaps not the best examples, but ones I thought might begin to show how to bring the evidence of culture and scientific background into your science fiction writing. Plus I wove into it an explaination on how to choose the point of view of your novel (tricky, tricky). I'll try to put some more examples together next time.
"I was the Duke of Neuterra’s eldest daughter, his only daughter, his only child. He and his dame, my mother, could not bear another child. Though they tried, their vitality was gone, and the Codes of the Noble Accords forbade them from any artificial means of increasing their fertility.
They were stuck with me, and the only hope for our House was an alliance marriage. With this in mind, my father groomed me to attract the attention of another great House, one that would willingly accept the Duchy and the name. With the approval of the Landsritters, the Emperor would be forced to accept the new House Neuterra descended through me.
I was well prepared to fill this position. I was made to be a Princess. I was educated to be a scientist of political solutions and ventures—an advisor, steward, mother, ruler, lover, and I was all of these and more. My heritage and intelligence allowed me to excel in these studies as if I was truly born to them, which I was. But I was not the Princess my Father hoped I would be."
We begin to understand the focus of her world. You had no idea about The Codes. Now you know a little. You didn't know about Lyral's problem, now you begin to see it. The undergirding of the issues and the science of this world become clear. Later, in one of my favorite scenes, she reveals:
"He was kind to the last. “My lady, I’m at your service. Until you decide, I am obliged to you.”
In spite of my tears, I turned. “Obliged?”
He looked directly at me. “Yes, obliged.” He took off the sash that marked his rank as an Imperial Prince and thrust it at me.
Unconsciously, I put my hands behind my back. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“I dare, and I have.” He thrust the sash toward me again.
“No, I can’t accept that. You put yourself under my complete authority. How can you justify placing your very self under my control? Already, you intend to reveal your plans in their entirety to me.”
“I pray they would become your plans also, and you would safeguard them and my honor just as I would.”
“You know I can’t make that commitment.”
“...but you will protect my interests. Don’t shame me, Lady Lyral, take my oblige. I will protect you and your House. I will be yours until you decide my honor and my arms no longer defend you.”
I know he could see the tears that glistened on my cheeks, but he took no notice of them. I didn’t want to soften to his proposal. I wasn’t sure where I stood, but I could not lightly dismiss the offer of oblige, especially from the son of the Emperor. I reached gingerly for the sash, and he relinquished it with a look of relief. I curtsied to him and backed away."
The concept of "oblige" might have been foreign to you before, but now through Lyral's eyes you should have some understanding. This "oblige" isn't a science fiction concept. It is an Anglo-Saxon concept that later we recognize as the chivalric idea of a woman or man carrying a token of honor for their knight or lady. In this exchange we see the deeper overtones of what "oblige" means to the inhabitants of the universe of the Dragon and the Fox.
So, I gave you examples. Perhaps not the best examples, but ones I thought might begin to show how to bring the evidence of culture and scientific background into your science fiction writing. Plus I wove into it an explaination on how to choose the point of view of your novel (tricky, tricky). I'll try to put some more examples together next time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)