Scenes - Scene Setting, even more Conversation about Magic

29 January 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, even more Conversation about Magic

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya. This is the continuation of the previous scene.  The place and time setting have already been given.  The characters are set.  In this scene, we get the continuation of Aksinya and Natalya's conversation.  Specifically, Natalya complains that Aksinya is not teaching her about sorcery.  The importance of this is that the demon used this to tempt Natalya and is using it to tempt Aksinya.  Aksinya has been holding out for the reasons she gives in the conversation below.
 

Sister Margarethe closed the door.

Natalya waited a moment, “When will you teach me sorcery?”

Aksinya stared at her, “Nata, I don’t ever intend to teach it to you.  It does me no good and only causes me to suffer.  If you only knew…”

“I do not know.  I only see the good you do.  I don’t understand why you won’t do this for me.”

Aksinya let out a breath and glanced down, “I have already begun to teach you Latin, but I do not intend to teach you sorcery.”

“Why Latin?  What is the purpose of it?”

Aksinya mumbled again, “It is the words.”

“I’m sorry Aksinya.  I couldn’t understand you.”

“I said, it is the words.  Sorcery can be accomplished in Latin or Greek.  Latin is more common.  The words and the sounds are critical.  They must be said precisely.  If they are spoken incorrectly, at best, the enchantment will not work, at the worst, it will injure you.  The first step is to learn the language of sorcery.”

“Why Latin or Greek?”

“Although I have heard that sorcery has been successful in other languages, I have no evidence of it.  The documents of the church were first in Greek and next in Latin.  Those have been the languages of sorcery since then.”

“What of Hebrew?”

“There is a possibility of sorcery in Hebrew, but I don’t know the language, and I have never seen any books.  The books are necessary.”

“Why necessary?  You have made enchantments without your books.”

“If a single piece of the enchantment is wrong or incorrectly done, it won’t succeed.  The books give explicit directions to make it work.  If you forget, or if you make a mistake, your life or your health can be forfeit.”

“But you do it so easily.”

Aksinya took Natalya’s hands, “Listen closely to me, Nata.  I spent nearly every free moment of my childhood studying sorcery.  I had no friends.  I had no one, so I read the books.  I collected the items.  I practiced everything over and over until I perfected it.  When I began, I quickly discovered the danger.  My fingers were covered with wounds.  I have scars on my body from every failed enchantment.”

Natalya’s voice was low, “I have scars on my body and nothing to show for it.”

“I am happy to have you for my friend.  I will do anything to keep that including teaching you sorcery, but I suspect I will not be able to let you ever do it.  I will be too afraid to allow you to harm yourself.”

Nata stood, “It is late, Aksinya.  Let me prepare you for bed.”

Natalya took Aksinya’s arms and lifted her up from the chair.  Aksinya passively stood and Natalya began to remove her clothing.

Strangely, the demon didn’t visit Aksinya this night either.
 

This scene is about magic and how it works.  I don't tell you about magic and how it works--I allow my characters to tell you about magic and how it works.  Within the body of the conversation, we also get information about Natalya and Aksinya.  This is the point of the conversation and this is how you convey cryptic topics without telling.  Remember: show and don't tell.

My notes: once you have a theme, you need to begin to visualize your plot, focus your theme, and define your characters. More tomorrow. I'll move on to basic writing exercises and creativity in the near future.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, http://www.aseasonofhonor.

Scenes - Scene Setting, A Spell

18 January 2013, Scenes - Scene Setting, A Spell

Introduction: I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. This was my 21st novel and through this blog, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel beginning with http://www.pilotlion.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-novel-part-3-girl-and-demon.html.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

Here are my rules of writing:

1. Entertain your readers.
2. Don't confuse your readers.
3. Ground your readers in the writing.
4. Don't show (or tell) everything.

A scene outline is a means of writing a novel where each scene follows the other with a scene input from the previous scene and a scene output that leads to the next scene. The scenes don't necessarily have to follow directly in time and place, however they generally follow the storyline of the protagonist.

A storyline outline is a means of writing a novel where the author develops a scene outline for more than one character and bases the plot on one or more of these storyline scenes. This allows the scenes to focus on more than the protagonist. This is a very difficult means of writing. There is a strong chance of confusing your readers.

Whether you write with a scene outline or a storyline outline, you must properly develop your scenes. All novels are developed from scenes and each scene has a design similar to a novel. Every successful novel has the following basic parts:

1. The beginning
2. The rising action
3. The Climax
4. The falling action
5. The dénouement

Every scene has these parts:

1. The setting (where, what, who, when, how)
2. The connection (input)
3. The tension development
4. The release
5. The output

There are lots of approaches to scene setting. That means there are about a million plus ways you can set a scene. The main point is you have to clearly get across the where, when, who, what, and how.

Here is another example of scene setting from the novel, Aksinya.  This isn't fully about scene setting--this is about fun.  I just came to this scene and I thought you would enjoy it.  The amount of research on magic in this scene is enormous.  I am not an advocate of magic, but to write this novel, I studied the ideas on magic and how it is supposed to work.  The Golden Bough and the work of P.E.I. Bonewitz are the best sources.  In this scene we see Aksinya making healing magic.  She was injured by magic while saving her friends and she uses magic to heal herself.

Aksinya croaked out a weak cry, “My things.  The drawer.”

Natalya ripped open the drawer of the night table beside the bed.  She already knew where everything was.  She came in when she could and stared covetously at her mistress’s wonderful items.  She had never touched them before, but only looked at them.  She wondered every day when she might learn to use them.

“Get them all,” Aksinya hissed.

Natalya pulled out chalk and tallow candles.  She took out Aksinya’s dagger.  She took out a bag of herbs and another of wax.

Aksinya struggled to get off the bed.  Natalya eased her to the floor.  She knew what Aksinya wanted.  She threw back the wonderful oriental rug and cleared a space.  She dragged Aksinya into the center of that space.

Aksinya gasped, “Chalk.”

Natalya handed it to her.  She had to hold it in Aksinya’s hand.

Aksinya began to draw a circle on the floor.  It was impossible for her to move enough to do it.

Natalya took the chalk from her.  She had seen Aksinya do this often enough.  She drew as perfect a circle as she could around Aksinya. 

On her hands and knees, Aksinya examined the entire line of the circle.  She pointed to a couple of spots and Natalya retraced them.  Aksinya gasped through a bloody cough, “Penta…gram.”

Natalya nodded.  She drew a pentagram within the circle.  She knew it wasn’t as beautiful or perfect as those Aksinya drew so easily, but it came out correctly and looked almost symmetrical.  Aksinya examined the points.  They were all touching and not outside the circle.  The lines all came together properly.  Natalya drew Aksinya up so she could kneel in the center of the circle.

Aksinya pointed to three of the tallow candles and directed Natalya where to set them.  One at the top and two at the bottom at the points of the pentagram.  Aksinya wheezed, “Light… them.”

Natalya was ready.  She pulled a taper from the fireplace and lit each one.

Aksinya grabbed for the bag of wax and couldn’t reach it.  Natalya opened it and put the whole lump in Aksinya’s hands.  Aksinya fumbled for the bag of herbs.  Natalya opened that one for her too.  Aksinya held the wax in one hand and the herbs in the other. 

Aksinya motioned Natalya back with her chin.  Natalya ran to the other side of the room.  She wanted to watch.  She could not take her eyes off Aksinya.

Aksinya’s lips moved slowly at first, but then faster.  Her hands brought the wax and the dried leaves together.  Aksinya didn’t look at her hands, but in them formed a small figure made of wax.  Pieces of the herbs filled the lightly transparent material and stuck out in places.  Aksinya’s voice almost increased to the level that Natalya could hear her, but it rose and fell in volume and the words were strange.

Finally, Aksinya grasped all around her.  She nearly fell, but kept upright.  Natalya didn’t know what to do.  Aksinya’s hands moved slowly but frantically on the floor at every side.  Natalya knew what Aksinya wanted, it was the dagger.  She saw it just at her back.

Natalya called out, “There mistress.  Your dagger is on your right.”

Aksinya mouthed, don’t speak.

Natalya fell silent, but without crossing the circle, she pointed to the dagger.

Aksinya reached out and took the knife by the blade.  Natalya gasped, the razor sharp edge bit into Aksinya’s fingers.  Blood trickled from the fist that held the dagger.  Aksinya dropped it and seized the wax doll.  Blood covered it.

A low sound filled the room.  The wax melted and was gone.  The blood was suddenly gone.  The tallow candles were out, and a bright flash filled the magic circle.  For a moment, Natalya couldn’t see Aksinya.  She was about to cry out, but she bit her lip.  Natalya blinked her eyes, and Aksinya lay prostrate in the center of the magic circle.  Natalya ran to the edge and hopped from foot to foot.  She didn’t dare cross the circle.  She didn’t dare speak.  She didn’t dare do anything.  Finally, she couldn’t wait any longer, “Countess.”  She screamed, “Countess, are you all right?”

Aksinya raised her head and nodded, “Come, sweet Natalya.  All is well.  I just must sleep now.”  Her head fell back to the floor, and she didn’t move.

Natalya ran across the circle to Aksinya’s side.  She put her arms around her mistress and held her close.  She listened covetously to her breath and her heartbeat.  She kissed her cheeks.  Slowly, tenderly, she dragged Aksinya to the bed and lifted her onto it.  They were almost the same weight, but Natalya was determined.  Then she cleaned up the magic circle and put away all of Aksinya’s items.  She laid back the rug.  When everything was perfect, Natalya checked on Aksinya again.  She kissed her forehead and ran to get Sister Margarethe.

There is a lot of scene setting in this example.  I use many advanced techniques to show you what is happening rather than just telling you what is happening.  The trick in the development of the tension in the scene is the build up and the release in almost every sentence.  Note especially the whole episode with the dagger.  We know from before that words and crossing the magic circle can have very negative effects on sorcery.  Therefore Natalya must communicate with Aksinya the best she can.  At the same time, we realise what will happen--or we think we do, when Aksinya gets the dagger in her hand.  The final release where the magic works is also a tension builder since we are not certain that Aksinya is still alive.  The final release in the scene is Aksinya's reassuring words to Natalya, but that leads to the next tension, Natalya has to clean up her mistress' magic items and the magic circle.  She must also get Aksinya back in bed.  This is how tension and release works in a very important and strong scene like this.


My notes: once you have a theme, you need to begin to visualize your plot, focus your theme, and define your characters. More tomorrow. I'll move on to basic writing exercises and creativity in the near future.

The following is a question asked by one of my readers. I'm going to address this over time: I am awaiting for you to write a detailed installment on identifying, and targeting your audience, or audiences...ie, multi-layered story, for various audiences...like CS Lewis did. JustTake care, and keep up the writing; I am enjoying it, and learning a lot.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com, www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, thefoxshonor, http://www.aseasonofhonor.

Development - Scene Setting in the Picture of the Creative Process

7 March 2012, Development - Scene Setting in the Picture of the Creative Process

Introduction: I realized that I need to introduce this blog a little. I wrote the novel Aksinya: Enchantment and the Daemon. The working title was Daemon, and this was my 21st novel. Over the last year, I gave you the entire novel in installments that included commentary on the writing. In the commentary, in addition to other general information on writing, I explained, how the novel was constructed, the metaphors and symbols in it, the writing techniques and tricks I used, and the way I built the scenes. You can look back through this blog and read the entire novel.

I'm using this novel as an example of how I produce, market, and eventually (we hope) get a novel published. I'll keep you informed along the way.

Today's Blog: To see the steps in the publication process, visit my writing website http://www.ldalford.com/ and select "production schedule," you will be sent to http://www.sisteroflight.com/.

We have an initial description of Aksinya, the main character, and of Asmodeus, the demon.  We know about their backgrounds and history.  We have the setting in time and space.  The final element is the setting for the first scene.  With that last piece, we will have enough of the creative process complete to set the entire novel in motion.  Remember, I keep advising you as a writer to physically describe your characters and physically describe the scene setting.  I showed you examples for Aksinya and the demon.  Here is the initial scene setting from the novel Aksinya:

     The dank stone room was filled with shadows.  Every corner oozed darkness.  Within a pentagram that was encompassed by a circle stood a slight young woman.  Fat yellow beef-tallow candles marked the points of the pentagram and weakly illuminated only the area around her.  A brazier of incense filled the room with the scent of myrrh along with an underlying smell that was indeterminate, but left a taste of blood in the mouth...
      Aksinya stood in the middle of the pentagram.  She held a book in one hand, and the bodice of the dress in the other.  It kept falling away from her chest and although there was no one to see, she felt uncomfortable and underdressed when it did.  She squinted across the cellar again and focused back on the book.  She knew the words and the pictures in the book by heart.  She had memorized them long ago, but still she sought them like an anchor against the storm she was about to release.  In the dark—she hadn’t thought about how dark it would be, she could barely read the text.  Finally, she took up an extra taper from the floor and lit it from the closest candle.  She had to hold the taper in one hand and the book in the other, which almost completely revealed her chest, but that couldn’t be helped now.

Aksinya read from the book.  The words weren’t Russian, her mother tongue, and they weren’t the French of the

Russian Court

.  They weren’t the Greek their priest pounded daily into her head.  The language was Latin.  She had studied it secretly for years.  She had memorized all the Latin books she had found hidden in the unused guesthouse at the back of the estate.  With nothing else to do, she had spent every free moment teasing out the secrets of these books for just this moment.  Aksinya was tired of being nothing and being helpless.  She intended from this moment forward to never be helpless again.

     She read the ponderous Latin from her book.  The cover was black, and a pentagram was worked into the ancient leather.  The book was old, ancient.  The pages were yellowed with age.  In spite of that, the pictures and words were perfectly preserved as if time inside it had been slowed to a stop.  The words of the book were dark and evil.  Aksinya knew them well.  She knew their meanings.  She forced her lips to form them, but this wasn’t the first time she had forced her lips to make these dark words.  For years and years she spoke them.  She manipulated the world through them.  She made the world obey her with these ancient words.  She let her mind flow to the word—sorcery.  Aksinya made magic.  She had taught herself from the dark books she found, and here and now, she made the most horrible of magic.

There is more than simple description in this description.  Part of it is about Aksinya and part of it is about the times and the place (all scene setting).  This is a style and a technique for description.  This is an especially good way to integrate description in an action scene.  You get a revelation of the scene along with the action in the scene.  This is also a method to build tension.

We'll look more at the creative process in Aksinya tomorrow.

I'll repeat my published novel websites so you can see more examples: http://www.ldalford.com/, and the individual novel websites: http://www.aegyptnovel.com/, http://www.centurionnovel.com/, http://www.thesecondmission.com/, http://www.theendofhonor.com/, http://www.thefoxshonor.com/, and http://www.aseasonofhonor.com/.

A New Novel, Part 127 Teach Me Sorcery

We are watching Aksinya in a slow train-wreck and Natalya in a role reversal of great magnitude.  Ernst von Taaffe brought this upon them, and Asmodeus was behind it all.  Aksinya and Natalya are discussing sorcery and Ernst...
A knock came from the door. Aksinya jumped. Natalya turned toward the sound, “You may enter, sister.”


Sister Margarethe opened the door and brought in the tea service. Natalya pointed to the tea table. Sister Margarethe placed it on the top. Natalya pointed again, “Sister, you may pour.”

“Sister Margarethe poured the tea.”

Aksinya sat quietly in her chair.

Natalya picked up her cup, “Thank you, Sister Margarethe, we have everything we need. I’ll put the Countess to bed.”

Sister Margarethe curtsied and stepped back to the door.

Natalya called at her back, “I’ll prepare the Countess for school tomorrow. If you could please see to our breakfast?”

“Yes, Lady, I shall tell the novice sisters.”

“Thank you.”

Sister Margarethe closed the door.

Natalya waited a moment, “When will you teach me sorcery?”

Aksinya stared at her, “Nata, I don’t ever intend to teach it to you. It does me no good and only causes me to suffer. If you only knew…”

“I do not know. I only see the good you do. I don’t understand why you won’t do this for me.”

Aksinya let out a breath and glanced down, “I have already begun to teach you Latin, but I do not intend to teach you sorcery.”

“Why Latin? What is the purpose of it?”

Aksinya mumbled again, “It is the words.”

“I’m sorry Aksinya. I couldn’t understand you.”

“I said, it is the words. Sorcery can be accomplished in Latin or Greek. Latin is more common. The words and the sounds are critical. They must be said precisely. If they are spoken incorrectly, at best, the enchantment will not work, at the worst, it will injure you. The first step is to learn the language of sorcery.”

“Why Latin or Greek?”

“Although I have heard that sorcery has been successful in other languages, I have no evidence of it. The documents of the church were first in Greek and next in Latin. Those have been the languages of sorcery since then.”

“What of Hebrew?”

“There is a possibility of sorcery in Hebrew, but I don’t know the language, and I have never seen any books. The books are necessary.”

“Why necessary? You have made enchantments without your books.”

“If a single piece of the enchantment is wrong or incorrectly done, it won’t succeed. The books give explicit directions to make it work. If you forget, or if you make a mistake, your life or your health can be forfeit.”

“But you do it so easily.”

Aksinya took Natalya’s hands, “Listen closely to me, Nata. I spent nearly every free moment of my childhood studying sorcery. I had no friends. I had no one, so I read the books. I collected the items. I practiced everything over and over until I perfected it. When I began, I quickly discovered the danger. My fingers were covered with wounds. I have scars on my body from every failed enchantment.”

Natalya’s voice was low, “I have scars on my body and nothing to show for it.”

“I am happy to have you for my friend. I will do anything to keep that including teaching you sorcery, but I suspect I will not be able to let you ever do it. I will be too afraid to allow you to harm yourself.”

Nata stood, “It is late, Aksinya. Let me prepare you for bed.”

Natalya took Aksinya’s arms and lifted her up from the chair. Aksinya passively stood and Natalya began to remove her clothing.

Strangely, the demon didn’t visit Aksinya this night either.

Aksinya is jumpy and agitated.  The world is out of her control for the moment.  Natalya, at this moment, is making all the decisions and is totally in control.  Watch how she addresses Aksinya--she easily uses Aksinya's name.  She directs Sister Margarethe and instructs the sister to pour the tea.  This is the responsibility of the lady of the house, not Natalya.  But nothing is amiss.
 
When the sister is well away, Natalya gets directly to her point--it was the same point before the interruption:  “When will you teach me sorcery?”  Aksinya does not lie.  She tells Natalya straight out that she does not intend to teach her.  Natalya asks the same question we might.  She has only seen good come about through the sorcery--so what's the problem with it.  Natalya is not conniving, but she knows what she wants--you might ask why she is so suddenly forceful and direct with Aksinya.  Then we get a primer on sorcery.  Aksinya mumbles when she doesn't wish to reply, but she will not lie.  Natalya is a very bright girl.  She asks very hard questions.  We find out about the origins of sorcery in the definitions of this novel, and we get the reasons for the books of sorcery.  I don't tell any of this to you; I show it to you through the dialog of these characters.
 
That's when we learn more about Aksinya.  We knew she was a lonely child with few if any friends.  Now she tells us a little about it and why she turned to sorcery. We also discover the danger of sorcery, but we already knew some of that.  It was alluded to before.  Natalya's argument about her scars is a body blow to Aksinya.  How could she deny Natalya's request after that? 
 
Aksinya's response tells you how far she is willing to go for Natalya, but because she loves Natalya, she is unwilling to allow her to use sorcery.  This is a strong paradox, but one we face in many areas ourselves--like letting go of out children.  Natalya is still in charge here.  Aksinya is depressed and out of her league.  As I mentioned, her world is out of control.  Her passivity indicates this.  The demon didn't show up, but tomorrow a letter will.

A New Novel, Part 120 I Have Your Book

The young man, Ernst von Taaffe knows Aksinya's great secret--she is a sorceress.  He insists that she must do as he asks or he will reveal her secret...

He noted the look on Aksinya’s face, “Don’t worry, Countess. Your secret is safe with me, but only if you do as I wish.”


“Who would believe you?”

He brought his face close to hers, “I have your book.”

Aksinya gasped and trembled, “You must give it back.”

“No, no, no, Countess. That is not how the game is played.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Anatov Aznabaev, told me you were a special person. He told me I would find everything I desired with you. He is right. I myself have tried for years to study sorcery. I have been, as yet, unsuccessful.”

“Your body doesn’t seem unduly marked.”

“The scars are well hidden by my clothing. It has not touched my face or hands much.” He pulled her hand toward his face and turned it over. He gently stroked the many scars that marked Aksinya’s fingers, “A successful sorcerer, so says my books, has a multitude of knife scars on their hands. They are from the constant use of blood as a sacrifice.” He turned his face toward hers again, “The smell of the use is strong on you now. You can’t hide it from me. Although, I can’t accomplish any of it, I know its smell. I know its feel. I know its marks.” He kissed the scars on her fingers.

Aksinya finally was able to pull her hand from his, “I asked you what you want?”

“I would like to learn from you, but first I must win your affection.”

“What makes you believe it can be won?”

“You courtier, Anatov Aznabaev told me that you long to find love and someone to share your life. I offer myself. You are exactly the woman I wish to love.”

“My courtier is mistaken. I do not need love or anything else…”

“But you need your book.”

“I have memorized it already.”

“Zut! I know you still desire that book.”

Aksinya raised her chin, “How would you know that?”

“Anatov Aznabaev told me.”

Aksinya snarled, “Anatov Aznabaev, Anatov Aznabaev… do you believe everything my servant tells you?”

“In this case, yes. But I have another temptation.”

Now we know--Ernst took the book.  Not only does he know about Aksinya's secret, he has proof--the book.  How could things get worse for her?  This is why someone might believe Ernst, he has a book of magic that he can tie to Aksinya.  One of the threats of Asmodeus when they first came to Wien was that he could reveal Aksinya's proclivities and thus ruin her uncle and aunt.  That would ruin Aksinya and Natalya too.

Aksinya is afraid and asks the obvious question: “What do you want from me?”  Then begins a short dialog that tells us much in some great detail about sorcery and sorcerers.  We knew a lot of this informaiton from before, but now, we get it all together and in a focused manner.  We also discover that Ernst has been attempting sorcery for a long time, but has been unsuccessful as yet.  Ernst's knowledge of sorcery and his knowledge about sorcerers is dangerous to Aksinya.  Then we learn what Ernst wants from Aksinya: “I would like to learn from you, but first I must win your affection.”  He wants to be her apprentice and her lover.  Aksinya already has apprentice problems.  She never thought to have a lover--except in her imagination.  I told you she was naive and innocent in many ways.  Although she is filled with sexual desire--it is not directed toward anyone but herself.  She simply loves herself.  Aksinya then imagines she can get out from the problem by ignoring the issue of the book, but Ernst has another temptation for her.  Do you note that these temptations seem to well designed and thought out.  Who might be their originator?

Tomorrow, the other temptation.

A New Novel, Part 103 Another Enchantment

Sister Margarethe is out of the way.  The door is locked.  Now Aksinya can do something other than die.  This is both a foreshadowing as well as a description of Aksinya's continuing power.

Aksinya croaked out a weak cry, “My things. The drawer.”

Natalya ripped open the drawer of the night table beside the bed. She already knew where everything was. She came in when she could and stared covetously at her mistress’s wonderful items. She had never touched them before, but only looked at them. She wondered every day when she might learn to use them.

“Get them all,” Aksinya hissed.

Natalya pulled out chalk and tallow candles. She took out Aksinya’s dagger. She took out a bag of herbs and another of wax.

Aksinya struggled to get off the bed. Natalya eased her to the floor. She knew what Aksinya wanted. She threw back the wonderful oriental rug and cleared a space. She dragged Aksinya into the center of that space.

Aksinya gasped, “Chalk.”

Natalya handed it to her. She had to hold it in Aksinya’s hand.

Aksinya began to draw a circle on the floor. It was impossible for her to move enough to do it.

Natalya took the chalk from her. She had seen Aksinya do this often enough. She drew as perfect a circle as she could around Aksinya.

On her hands and knees, Aksinya examined the entire line of the circle. She pointed to a couple of spots and Natalya retraced them. Aksinya gasped through a bloody cough, “Penta…gram.”

Natalya nodded. She drew a pentagram within the circle. She knew it wasn’t as beautiful or perfect as those Aksinya drew so easily, but it came out correctly and looked almost symmetrical. Aksinya examined the points. They were all touching and not outside the circle. The lines all came together properly. Natalya drew Aksinya up so she could kneel in the center of the circle.

Aksinya pointed to three of the tallow candles and directed Natalya where to set them. One at the top and two at the bottom at the points of the pentagram. Aksinya wheezed, “Light… them.”

Natalya was ready. She pulled a taper from the fireplace and lit each one.

Aksinya is dying.  Natalya must help her or she will die.  Notice that Natalya knows where all of Aksinya's things are.  She covets Aksinya's items for sorcery.  Aksinya's sin calls Natalya to sin.  Natalya has watched Aksinya so much that she knows exactly what to do.  I give you the details of the sorcery again.  Natalya helps Aksinya make the magic circle.  Aksinya checks the details to ensure they are exact.  I'm not sure how much more to describe from this piece.  The sorcery comes form Frasier's The Golden Bough and ideas about magic from his theories. The sorcery is all based on these rules.

A New Novel, Part 17 The Servant

Here is the next installment.  I have some more comments and questions to answer.  I'll get to those tomorrow.  To bring you up to date, the Demon, Asmodeus and his mistress, Aksinya have traveled to Minsk.  The demon wants a servant for Aksinya.

The next thing she knew, Asmodeus was shaking her, “Wake up, countess. I found her. She is just what I expected. I want you to see her too.”


“I just want to sleep.”

“You may sleep all you desire when we have your servant. I will let you sleep the whole day away if you wish.”

Aksinya sat up, and the coat fell from her shoulders. She shivered and pulled it back on. She tied the clasp at the top then she jumped off the chest, “Take me where you want to go, demon.”

The demon led her to the back of the great house. They climbed a wall and walked along it to the window of the dining room. The curtains were not drawn, and they could observe the entire family around the table.

Aksinya stared at the people around the table, “I recognize them.”

“You should.”

“That is the family of Prince Aleksander Simonovich Andronikov. I know them. They visited us at my father’s estate before.”

“Your estate now…” the demon purred. He continued, “They are an aristocratic family, a royal family. They have a servant who takes care of their daughters and waits on the Prince’s wife. She is a lady-in-waiting, and here she is. Near the head of the table, the door opened. It wasn’t a door for a servant since the top was rounded. The girl who came in was petite and beautiful. Her hair was dark and silky. Her eyes were luminous. Her skin was pale and smooth. In all, she appeared very aristocratic and refined. Her clothing, likewise, though not as expensive as the gowns of the ladies around the table, fit her perfectly and brought out the best in her figure and features. It was not unusual that when she entered, the eye of every man and every woman turned toward her. She whispered to one of the older women at the table and sat against the wall behind her.

Asmodeus whispered, “That’s the one.”

“Why her?”

“She has all the skills required to look after you.”

Aksinya’s voice was bland, “What’s wrong with her?”

“Nothing.”

“There must be something.”

“She is the lady-in-waiting to the ladies in a great house, a royal household. She is refined, beautiful, industrious, kind…”

“Everything I am not.”

Asmodeus was silent.

“What is wrong with her?”

“Nothing is wrong with her.”

“Then she must be evil.”

“No more than you.”

“Zatknis'! I order you to tell me what’s wrong with her.”

Asmodeus turned his head away, “Like you, she seeks some power beyond herself. She hasn’t found it yet. The desire is so great in her that it calls out to me.”

“Because you wish to tempt her into some sin.”

“Specifically because I wish to tempt her into the sin of following you.”

Aksinya froze, “Why would it be a sin to follow me?”

Asmodeus didn’t respond.

“Answer me. Why would it be a sin to follow me?”

Asmodeus didn’t speak.

Aksinya let out a shuddering breath, “So her problem is that she seeks a power beyond herself. What about God, the Church.”

“Ha, that guy isn’t for everyone. Haven’t you rejected Him?”

“No! I haven’t rejected Him. I believe in Him. How could I not believe—I’ve seen demons. If there are demons, there is God.” She glanced down, “I don’t trust Him. I knew He would fail me. I didn’t expect you to fail me or my own strength to fail me too.”

Asmodeus picked his teeth with a claw, “I didn’t fail you—you called me too late. You failed, Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna. I didn’t fail and that guy didn’t fail—you failed. Come, you’ve seen her. Now is the time to go.”

“Go where? You said you would make her my servant.”

“I said no such thing. You will make her your servant.”

Aksinya stared at him open mouthed.

“Close your mouth, Countess Aksinya Andreiovna Golitsyna, now is the time for us to act.”

“I don’t understand you at all.”

“You will.”

They retraced their steps to the chest, and Asmodeus put it over his shoulders, “Follow me, countess. I will show you what to do next.”

This short scene is so full of fun stuff, I don't know where to begin.  The best is the point the demon makes, that he wishes to tempt the girl into the sin of following Aksinya.  We will soon see how he will achieve that end.  The second is that God and the demon didn't fail Aksinya--she herself failed.  Plus her own confession that she believes in God, but she doesn't trust him.  How Aksinya is like so many of us.  She can speak in the presence of the demon all the fears and thoughts everyone has but is afraid to say.

A New Novel, Part 16 Comments and Questions

I've been passing a little bit of my new novel, Daemon each day.  Today, I'm going to answer some questions and comments from a reader.  My comments/answers are in italics.

Have been enjoying each new installment on your novel; and, have a few comments, and questions, I'd like to share w/ you. I warn you up front, these are just 'free flowing' ideas, opinions & questions, jump backward/forward in your unfolding novel.  I like any comments/questions--even if they are criticism.  This way I can improve the writing.

Big picture, my questions all center around the theme of how/why the girl is being tricked, controlled & progressively conditioned by the demon, both by his word, his act & the surrounding; and, why she doesn't appear to recognize it's going on.  The novel has just begun, she is young, and I have been feeding only about one page a day lately.  In novel time, she has only been with the demon a few days.  I want to really place the hook before I give Aksinya any line.  This lets the reader see the character of the girl and the demon.  I do understand your frustration.  I have to control myself in the writing all the time.  I want to resolve each situation and let her have some upper hand in the incidents.  That will not happen until chapter 8--I just wrote a pivotal scene there.  Part of the point is to let the reader see the methods the demon uses to tempt.  I still have many methods to get through.  In the current chapter we will see a blatant one.  Most of the early methods have been subtle or tricks.

1. Can you explain why more warning flags aren't being raised in her mind...ie, realizing that demon is tricking, tempting and conditioning her? ( Restated another way, is it too early in the story's development for her to start mulling over the recent events in her mind's eye, to start to look for clues, or examples of the half truths, or whole lies, the demon's is spinning? )  I like your observation because, as I revealed (perhaps too much) the demon almost always lies.  He does not tell her the truth.  He is a perfect observer of human activity and emotions (as you would expect), but can he really read her mind?  That is still in question.  She begins to catch a clue in this chapter (chapter 3).  Unfortunately, she can't do much about it yet, but she does plan and begin to act.  We will see the beginning of her actions soon.  Part of the problem is that she is unsure if the demon knows her thoughts.  Plus there is the shock factor.  I tried to show this in her lack of interest in life after the death of her family.  She has little motivation--revelation, I tried to show that the demon motivated her when she just wanted to curl up and die.  Kind of a paradox that the demon would seek to encourage her.  This is part of the bounding of the demon's abilities.  We will see more of this.  As Aksinya learns about the demon's limitations, we will also learn about them.

2. Reason I ask, it is clear to me, the demon is attempting to making subtle claims of semi-omniscience (all knowing)....or should I say, more precisely, implied claims at inherent omniscience (reads her mind) vs total omniscience (reserved for God). But, she doesn't seem to grasp that. Why?  Great observation.  I tried to show subtle hints that she is realizing it a little.  The key was even his initial claims that she refuted, "You weren't there at the beginning..." etc. 

To elaborate: Why isn't the girl starting to question the demon's claims, actions & authority over her, over their physical world? Why doesn't she begin to challenge his claims more directly...ie, "read my mind". Or perhaps, command him to retrieve multiple objects from her home, from the chest he carries..... to either validate or invalidate his (implicit) claims at semi-omnipotence.....w/ his many feats, and abilities. That's coming.  I'm trying to place little clues for the reader and Aksinya.

3. Speaking of the demon retrieving & storing the objects from her home... that whole scene seemed a bit extraordinary...awfully hard to swallow. Now, I realize we're dealing with the supernatural world here, but, stuffing everything into a chest? Is it really happening? is it a illusion or deception? Is it (chest) a portal to another supernatural realm? Doesn't it warrant further elaboration, for the sake of reader? (Maybe, ref. to past demonic folk lore, or Russian folk lore, etc.) This is a great question, and likely the writing requires more elaboration.  There are some great Russian tales that talk about sacks and closets that can fit unbelievable amounts.  I like the idea of presenting more information--especially related to Russian folklore.  On the other hand, I don't want to give too much explanation.  Part of the excitement of this kind of book is that there aren't pat explanations.  There are inexplicable mysteries.  For example, I intentionally don't give any of the spells in Latin or English, the reason is that I want the reader to imagine the words without having to try to develop some fancy phrase that locks the verbiage and the ideas of the reader.  There is also another aspect of the chest--it is supposed to be funny.  It is really a subtle joke, but when I told you the demon was carrying a chest on his shoulders filled with all of Aksinya's family's goods (including the carriage), in my mind, that's just funny.

5. Also, speaking of objects from her home, why didn't you have the girl walk through her home, gazing upon different family objects in different rooms, to evoke memories...which will be later explored..maybe a source of happiness, hurt or longing.....which helps maybe explain her family relationships, or why she turned to sorcery in the 1st place. Yes, I noticed some subtle clues, regarding her sense of self identity, her description of herself in the mirror, etc; but, not much explored. I think that was a missed, golden opportunity. This is a great idea.  I intentionally didn't have her walk through at the beginning.  I may have made a mistake, but my reason is that I wanted to move the novel along at first.  This is the kind of novel where there are not many action scenes.  I'm trying to pace the action vs. less action scenes to properly pace the novel.  We shall see if that is a good balance or not.  She will walk through the belongings later and in another location, chapter 7, I think. 

6. Have you considered her retrieving a family artifact of (implied) spiritual or social significance, say a family photo, crest, locket, or photo that (perhaps) might speak to her mother's (Orthodox) background, or her father's background. Great idea.  Since I've already written the next parts I can tell you, in this chapter she will make a connection with an item (a bookstand) and that is the beginning of many of the answers to the questions/comments above.  Next, she will make more connections with her mother's possessions--a crucifix to be exact.  That is already happening with the dresses.  The demon delays some of this action, but we will not be certain if he is doing that on purpose.  There is also the connection with the demon's surety--the locket.  I dropped that early, and intentionally, but I didn't complete the idea.  That's a fix that is required in the early chapters.

(You know, an object, that may be a key for future use, coinage for future passage, or signpost for redemption etc) Definitely.  I like the way you are thinking, it shows I am getting across the points of the story.  I do want the reader to anticipate, but I don't want the reader to predict.  Predictability is death to a great novel--anticipation is life.

Such a a symbolic item, whether it be a physical key, a locket, a dress or a family crest, could be stashed, ignored by the demon, and later retrieved by the girl..or, periodically pulled out, considered, mulled over. ( Sorta like the Ring, in the Hobbit..or the war/healing equip Aslan gave the Naria children to combat evil. )
I like this idea.  I haven't included this much.  In general, the item specifically will cause her much pain.  The mulling over and considering is a great idea--I will include that.
Or it could be something to wake her up from her evil stupor, say a childhood creed, or poem or memory.... (such as the name of Aslan called out by the Prince, in the Silver Chair). Or maybe, something to act as a symbolic sign post... to help point her back in the direction of repentance & redemption. Yes, definitely.  I won't use just one.  The problems Aksinya is encountering are not solved simply.  I have to take her a long ways along the path before she can begin to have some success.  Plus, there is her problem... 

Could be as benign as an old child's dairy, which the demon overlooks, w/ words or creed or child's prayer, from her mother's Orthodox faith. Anything benign, which is now brought along, largely neglected, but eventually act as an 'ace in the hole' to help her combat the demon, in that final fight for control/contract over her soul & spirit.  Great ideas.

7. Are you intending to place the girl through a series of temptations, each linked to one of the (7) deadly sins, or simply focus on one of the seven sins? If so, which one? Is it a secret for the reader to unravel over time...with hints, clues, etc.? Revelation here.  Generally, the demon is trying to get her to sin intentionally without his intervention.  I'm revealing a lot here.  The worse sins against other humans are murder and adultery.  These are the specific sins the demon will try to get her to do.  The means of temptation will be the seven deadly.  This is one of the points I am trying to make, the seven deadly are really temptations, the sin are the actions as a result.  The demon's specialty is lust.  This is a theme in the novel.  Aksinya's problem is luxaria which is overall lust.  His temptations will be related to this idea. 

The reason I ask; the choice of temptation of f1 deadly sin vs 7 deadly sins will greatly influence the storyline, character development, scenes, the dialogue between the demon & girl, and the private musings or thoughts that are in her mind. And, it will greatly influence, how the reader picks up on these clues. I try to not have any private musings.  There will be a few, but very few.  In general, the entire story should reveal itself through the conversations and actions of the characters.

8. Related question, what is the primary purpose of the successive temptations? Is it to move the story forward, temptation to temptation, or to incrementally highlight the moral & spiritual decline she's undergoing...as well as more fully expose her vulnerability? This is a great observation/question.  In general, I've set up the situation that Aksinya has reached the bottom of her decline.  Her problems are specifically related to sorcery--this is her issue.  The demon's temptations are to make her sin.  The storyline moves because of these temptations.  Therefore, that is the exact point.  The plot moves on many levels--one of these levels is the temptations the demon places before Aksinya.  He gives her few choices and tries to drive her into a corner.  In many cases, we will see, as the demon sees, she does not really sin.  In the words of the rabbis, coerced sin is not sin.  For example, killing in defense is not sin.  Killing in defense of others is not necessarily a sin.  While the demon seeks her decline, she is struggling to fight him and to fight against his temptations. 

Kind of like Edmond (Narnia), craving/eating Turkish Delight, though the more he is taken in by temptation, the more he wants, and desire it, a powerful drug that toxifies his soul, into abandonment of all he hold dear, and virtual slavery (to the wicked white witch).  Yes, this is sorcery to Aksinya.  Later when we see how it motivates her and controls her.

9. Please discuss the different plot devices, and mechanisms you've employed to highlight (underscore) her growing dependence on the demon. From the mundane (physical needs) to the more elaborate (sorcery)... to heal her bruises.  This is a great observation.  The demon is playing her.  I really don't want to reveal too much yet because we haven't even seen her servant and we certainly haven't seen much of the gamut of his temptations.  I will make some general comments, perhaps too revealing.  One of the major plot devices is the puppy dog ploy (I promise it won't be tasteless or so direct in the book).  in the puppy dog ploy, a controlling character gives the dependent character a dog (something to love).  The point is for the dependent character to become dependent on the dog.  The controlling character then uses threats against the dog, attacks against the dog, and threats to take the dog away to further torment and control the dependent character.  We have already seen the demon do this.  He first grovels before her and tells her he can read her mind.  Next, he takes care of her and seems to sympathize with her.  He injures her--he did this intentionally knowing how he could use it.  He suggests revenge when she is at her lowest point, and she agrees to murder of those who killed her family.  He tempts her to sorcery by mentioning how it can heal her.  Again, he caters to her needs to bring out her pain and suffering.  The only reason he drew her bath was to ease her mind and let her temptations grow.  He fed her so she would eventually feel more pain.  His point, in every case was not for her benefit, but rather to drive her to do as he wished--to sin.  He intentionally tricked her to luxuria by leading her to choose to take everything from the house.  He used her vanity to trick her into using sorcery to assuage her curiosity and know what he looked like in the streets of Minsk.  Right now, in Minsk, we know she is cold, she is hungry, she has been walking all day.  The demon could feed her, carry her, clothe her, warm her.  He doesn't do any of these things and he doesn't give her any idea that he can, or that she can relieve her own suffering.  

10. Very interested in your use of sorcery (witchcraft); would be delightful if you took the time to speak about it's historical, anthropological, religious & mythological contexts...within this story, given it's setting, era, religion, etc? I should go back a little and add more.  I did plan to explain more later in the book.  I hope that will be sufficient.  We will see that Aksinya will be called and demanded to teach sorcery to others.  This will allow me to explain some of the bounds.  By the way, I use Frazier's ideas from The Golden Bough for my magical (sorcery) concepts.  This is the basis for most thought about this subject.

11. I like the metaphor of sorcery as a drug she takes, to alleviate her physical & emotional discomfort is great...but, is much more than a simple metaphor...especially if the reader take the time to research the root words of both...drugs & sorcery.  Wonderful observation.  We will see that Aksinya's real problem is sorcery.  She is good at it, and she is driven to it.  Her most difficult problem will be her desire for sorcery.

Sorcery is like a drug, prescribe by the demon go gain control over her, but, she's undertaking it to alleviate her physical & emotional ailment. She's taking it in limited duration, but, becoming more clear, she's becoming addicted to it; foresee, it will become taken on a more regular basis, justified to combat her chronic disorders....so, than, that leads the reader to ask....what is her 'chronic disorder?" That is a fantastic question.  I'm not sure I want to reveal this at this point.  One could observe that all sin is a lack of proper relationship with the Creator.  I think I'll leave it at that for now.  I do not intend a perfectly clean end to everything.  I don't believe in such things.  There is never perfect resolution in any human life.  In salvation resides the propensity to sin.  In redemption is still temptation and failure to act in a redeemed manner.

You've been given several little clues...

Thanks for reading and thanks for the questions.  I tried to formulate answers that are cogent and reasonable.  I hope they are as helpful as the questions/comments have been for me.  More from chapter 3 tomorrow.

A New Novel, Part 13 Minsk

We left Aksinya and the demon in the city of Minsk.  That's a place in Russia, actually Belarus, but that was part of Russia at the time.  I will likely ask my publisher to include a simple map when the work is eventually published.  Minsk is a rather large city.  I tried to capture it at a time without too much turmoil due to the Russian revolution.  I like to use foreign language term when they seem appropriate.  Here I began to use the term, Zatknis'!   Zatknis'! means "shut up" in Russian.  Later in this chapter I use some great Russian curses and a little French.  My publisher doesn't allow English curse words in the writing.  They have allowed me to use French words.  The settings and use of the words are very appropriate.  In the published version, they will be footnoted with their translation.  I hate works that don't translate their foreign words and phrases.  Even if you read the language, the intended translation from the author may be easily missed.

Aksinya ran to catch up to the demon, “What place is this?”


“We are in Minsk, countess.”

Aksinya stopped cold, “Minsk? It cannot be Minsk.”

Asmodeus halted as well and turned toward her, “Why can it not be Minsk?”

“Minsk is more than two days by carriage from my house…What did you do?”

“I made the world bend a little.”

Aksinya raised the hem of her skirts enough to glance at her legs, “They don’t pain me more than a days walking.”

“You didn’t touch me.”

“Then it is not levied against my soul for you didn’t carry me either.”

“That shall be seen. You have enough on your soul already.”

“Zatknis'! Demon,” She put her fists on her hips, “By the way, you are a demon carrying a large chest across your shoulders and we are surrounded by people, but no one looks at you oddly.”

“You are my mistress. You see and hear me in truth. I don’t allow them to view me like that. Would you like to see what I seem to them?”

Aksinya chewed her lip a moment, “Yes. Show me what you seem to them.”

The demon blurred a bit and suddenly came into perfect focus. He appeared like a small ancient servant. His face was kind and his hair was white. He had a long beard that made him look a little like an orthodox priest or at least a deacon, but his clothing was that of a highly placed servant. He carried a heavy casket like a jewelry casket on his shoulder. His face was ruddy and made more ruddy by his supposed exertion. He looked like he had been carrying the casket for a long time. His clothing perfectly matched the style and the cut of Aksinya’s own. She was obviously his mistress and to all the world she would certainly look like a cruel one.

Aksinya’s eyes flashed, “You idiot demon. Do mean to embarrass me to everyone in the streets of Minsk. Why did you choose to look like that?”

“Countess, I would select your words carefully. Already you are in danger because you appear to be an aristocrat. There are many who would begrudge you that, but you certainly leave the stink of the bourgeoisie in a very proletarian city.”

“You caused this. You made this happen, and you must protect me in any case.”

“That I must, but I don’t have to make you look good, and if I have to protect you then you will compel me to harm them.” The demon pointed with his thumb at the passersby who stopped to watch the arrogant young lady berate her ancient kindly-looking servant.

Aksinya stood straight. She glanced around. Finally, she cleared her throat, “Go on, Asmodeus. Lead me where you must. I’m tired, and I’m certain you are too.”

The demon smiled and turned. He started out again along the side of the road. Aksinya heard a couple of snide remarks, but no one followed them or threatened her. As they went deeper into the city, Asmodeus led her to a streetcar stop.
 
I hope you liked this short piece that revealed a lot of information about demons and about how Asmodeus is manipulating Aksinya even when she doesn't realize it.  Did you also note, the demon can't help but tell her.  He rubs her nose in it each time.  This isn't because I don't think my readers will catch the nuance of the demon's work--this is the demon's personality.  It is the personality of all temptation and sin.  Is there any realization of sin or knowledge of sin without recognition of sin?  Of course not.  It isn't any good to the tempter if the tempted doesn't realize their own sin.  That's the point.  A tempter wants to tempt, but he also wants the other to know they were tempted and that they eventually sinned.  Right now, the actions of the demon are relatively passive.  We shall soon see the full gamut of his willingness to force Aksinya to sin.  Another revelation for you.  I chose sorcery as a sin for Aksinya because I can do a lot with it that isn't horrible or salacious.  In other words, I can have her doing a lot of sinning without having to write embarrassing or unacceptable storylines.  The point of lust leading to sorcery and sorcery to desire is also a subtle theme I am developing.  The ultimate point, as we have already seen, Aksinya's sin (sorcery) has already led to murder and will soon led to other sins.  Don't lose heart, I am writing to a redemptive theme.  She will figure some things out--in this chapter.

A New Novel, Part 10 Sin

Next installment is the result of the demon, Asmodeus' temptation.  This is only the beginning.  The first of many temptations and their outcome.  In this one, Aksinya is fully complacent and guilty.  Yet, she was tempted in every way by the demon.

After he left, Aksinya sipped on the rest of the tea. She finally put everything back on the tray and settled back in her bed. She tried to sleep, but the demon was right. She felt every ache and pain. She couldn’t move without pain and the covers on her only increased her suffering. Her nightgown was warm but too heavy. It pressed against her legs and added to her agony. The tray pushed on the covers and the nightgown and added to it. She couldn’t toss and turn, that was too painful. She didn’t dare touch herself. The demon knew that weakness in her and mocked her. She hurt too much for that to be much comfort anyway. She wanted to settle into the bath again, but she knew he wouldn’t prepare a bath again for her until she did his bidding. After a long while, she thought what was the problem with just looking at her books. They would take her mind off her pain and make her feel the power again.

Aksinya sat up. She tried to move the tray to the side, but she couldn’t lift it. She tossed it to the floor and threw off her covers. She lifted her nightgown off her legs. That felt better, but now she was cold. And this was too tempting for her. She put the nightgown down again, but that made her legs ache. Just to read the books would sooth her mind and take it off of her pain. She took up her staff and scooted off the bed. When she moved, it seemed like the ache in her legs decreased and then she wondered if the demon could make that happen. She wondered if he was manipulating her right now.

She made it to the stack of books and examined them. The book she sought was right on top. That seemed peculiar too. She carried it back to the bed and sat up with it. The moment she began reading it, she felt as though her suffering rolled away. There was nothing so bad in the words. They simply described the proper elements and words to heal. She had read and memorized them before. Every time she read these words, whenever she read her books, they eased her mind and heart. She wasn’t reading about curses only how to cure the body using the power of the world. She knew about that. It was her hobby. It was her expertise. Why shouldn’t she use it. The demon didn’t know everything. He didn’t understand her at all. She could use this power without harm. It would only help. She knew it.

Almost without thinking, Aksinya slid off her bed to the floor. She threw back the oriental rug at the side of her bed. She took her special chalk and drew a circle then a pentagram within it. She lit a single tallow candle. One was sufficient for this. She read the words. She didn’t need to. She knew them by heart. She read them anyway, the heavy feel of the book in her hands gave her comfort. She made the cabalistic signs and the sounds. She did it all until she came to the sacrifice part. This was a little tricky. The best sacrifice was a part of yourself. She took her dagger and held it against her hand. She easily and precisely sliced her finger. She had done this so often it was normal for her. The multiple scars on her left index finger was a mute witness to her expertise. The blood fell to the floor and there was a flash. The slice on her finger was immediately gone. There appeared another light scar. The pain in her legs was gone. She raised her nightgown. The bruises were gone, and she felt fantastic. She blew out the candle and carefully erased the circle and pentagram. She put back the rug and slipped into bed. She felt so good she couldn’t help herself. Her desire was uncontrollable. She touched herself and pleasured herself. Then she slept.

This was the point of the demon's mention of sorcery.  The ploy was to point to a future time of study--that was to wet Aksinya's appetite.  The second mention was direct to influence her to act.  He even told her what he wanted her to do, she still did it.  Further, she tried to hide her actions from him.  The final point is that the result led her to lustful thoughts that she acted out.  Certainly not a sin in itself, but the result of her sin and actions.  In this, I tried to depict the perfect picture of temptation.  Since this is the first of many, it should follow a classic plot.

A New Novel, Part 3 The Girl and the Demon

Thank you Helena P. Schrader, www.Schradershistoricalfiction.blogspot.com for your great comment on writing historical fiction. I do move in different genres, but my focus is clearly historical. I know that might be difficult to fathom, but even my science fiction is in some degree historically based.

Right now, I'm taking a break from writing by writing. I'm waiting for my tea water to boil so I can prepare Russian tea and eat two left over Krispy Kreem chocolate glazed donuts. Seems like a worthwhile thing to me. I'm wondering if I should have a cigar as well. Such richness in life is the richness of a great novel. You should be able to imagine the tastes, smells, colors, feel, and sounds of the world encompassed by the writing. In Daemon (working title) I want you to feel with Aksinya all she experiences, but especially her constant fight against temptation.

Why pick a woman as the main character. Many of my recent books are plagued with women as the primary characters. I don't just choose them for fun. There is a reason and it is directly related to the theme. Primarily, a woman can be an immediate pathetic character (I don't mean this in a negative fashion). Pathetic means: affecting or exciting emotion. A woman as a character instantly draws your reader into an emotional response. When I describe Aksinya as plain and yet loving, when I tell you that she is willing to risk her soul to save her family, your immediate response is to like her. When I describe her temptations, her personal demon does tempt her sorely, you have pity on her. On the other hand, if I made her character a man, your response to her temptation would not be pity, but anger and disgust. Though men are as tempted as women, you expect a man to be tough and to always be able to fight temptation. You expect a man to be a certain way, and if I write a man as an effeminate character, you won't like him. On the other hand, if I write a woman as a manly character, you will applaud her. So for this reason, because my theme requires an emotionless, manly, but pathetic character, I choose to make her a woman. Here is her description from the first page of the novel (actually the beginning of the novel):

"The dank stone room was filled with shadows. Every corner oozed darkness. Within a pentagram that was encompassed by a circle stood a slight young woman. Fat yellow beef-tallow candles marked the points of the pentagram and weakly illuminated only the area around her. A brazier of incense filled the room with the scent of myrrh along with an underlying smell that was indeterminate, but left a taste of blood in the mouth. The woman was dressed in a black dress that was much too large for her. Beautiful handmade lace cascaded down the front of the dress and decorated the sleeves. Thick velvet competed with black satin to form a perfect attire to greet a Tsar, but certainly not a commissar. The gown fell loosely away from the woman’s thin chest and small breasts. It looked odd draped on her body, like a girl playing dress-up from her mother’s closet. But this dress obviously came from the closet of a princess.

Aksinya, the woman within the pentagram, squinted across the dark cellar. She was barely seventeen and too thin for her age. She was petit; that was a polite way of saying small. And underdeveloped, that was a polite way of saying she didn’t yet appear much like a woman. Aksinya’s hair was brown and her face was plain. Her voice was soft and sometimes too shrill. When she was excited it rose in strength and pitch, so she never sounded very mature or well mannered."

Aksinya does conjure a real demon, Asmodeus. The demon:

"Immediately, Aksinya’s words changed. They words of enticing and cajoling became those of welcoming and greeting. They leapt automatically from her lips. As she spoke, she carefully watched the shape across the room. It began to move. At first it rose and fell as though it was just beginning to breathe, and then it began to grow. It unfolded like a flower, but this flower was like nothing beautiful the earth had ever seen. It was man-shaped and black. Its skin and muscles clung to it as though it was only bone and muscle without any fat at all. When it had unfolded completely, it touched the top of the ceiling, at least seven feet tall. More than two meters. Its limbs were long and at the end of its fingers were talons and of its feet were claws. They were black too. Its face was black and handsome. Fangs jutted out of its lips on the top and the bottom, but the face was aristocratic and fine. At its head were ears that lifted up points like an animal and horns at either side.

The creature was naked, and Aksinya’s eyes moved almost without her control downward. There was nothing there. It was like an expurgated statue. There was nothing but a pubic bulge. Aksinya wasn’t certain whether to be disappointed. She raised her hands in the final greeting and let them fall."

So, we have the girl and the demon. That is the beginning.